brain dumps

mostly just me whining about my headaches, with occasional deeply random hot takes about uninteresting things

[pnw-ghost]

It took me 4 months after a neurology referral to get an appointment for DAILY headaches (that had been happening for 8+ months)

But it took one pelvic ultrasound to get a gynecology appointment in 4 weeks.

I have a lot going on and I wish my headaches were being taken as seriously as whatever the heck showed up on the ultrasound lol

😅

[pnw-ghost]

Currently ping ponging between ~I'm so happy I don't have to wait ages for my gynecology appointment! I got offered one in about a month!!~ and ~oh no, why did I get offered an appointment so quickly?~ because I was told I was probably looking at a 3/4 month wait when I had the referral made and my appointment is 7 weeks from my initial phone call where they scheduled an ultrasound for me and said I was probably looking at an appointment in 6-12 weeks. So yeah, clearly there was something wrong with my ultrasound 😅

Is it nice that they found something wrong (because clearly to me I have something going on at some level) or is it terrifying? I have 4 weeks to meditate on this topic lol cryingscreamingthrowingup sort of.

Still thinking about how my parents never bothered taking me to a gynecologist as a teenager even though I have had concerning period symptoms since I starred having them. And my mum has endometriosis (like pretty bad). But I guess that's what happens when you are born to waldorf parents 🤢 (I wasn't vaccinated either, did that myself as an adult with a massive fear of needles lol)

[pnw-ghost]

Occasionally talking to my mother fills me with rage (there are like a million reasons why btw both understandable and not)

[pnw-ghost]

Okay so I got an ultrasound last Sunday and was told I'd hear from my doctor in 3-5 days about the results and I haven't, naturally.

So the options are:

1. This may have just been wrong/standard information from the technician (this ultrasound is happening before my first appointment is even scheduled idk why) so yeah

2. Nothing at all wrong/very low on the priority list (which is technically fine but sucks when something absolutely feels wrong in my body)

3. Somehow they did not get the ultrasound data and I have no idea how to check that or fix that if that's the case lol

Anyways... on to the weekend where I'm sure this situation won't occupy my mind at all /s

[pnw-ghost]

"Proud" to reveal my ferritin level is ✨️9✨️

Please don't clap lol

[pnw-ghost]

Can't wait to explain to a lot of people going forward that...

Yes this is my first pelvic ultrasound, gynecologist visit, etc, at 28...

Yes I have had heavy and bad periods since I started having my at like 12/13...

Yes my parents just totally neglected that aspect of me as kid...

Yes while I was passing out monthly BECAUSE OF MY PERIOD...

Yes my mum literally has endometriosis...

Yes it's fucking embarrassing.

[pnw-ghost]

I don't think my body likes beta blockers guys

[pnw-ghost]

Wish me luck, I'm having my first ever pelvic ultrasound at 28 on Sunday (long overdue BUT I am not focusing on that, don't have time to unpack the weirdness of my childhood and young adulthood before Sunday hey)

Trying not to over think anything but I am thinking a lot about the drink water an hour before and don't pee (my nightmare ESPECIALLY when it's called attention to lolol)

Also, also!! I will probably get my period tomorrow (checked and that's fine apparently) so... it's gonna be uncomfortable lol. Just trying to get it over with tho.

Ugh.

[titsay]

let it flow

[pnw-ghost]

Something that is really bothering me and causing me a ton of anxiety health wise is that I have exactly no support between appointments (I literally don't have another neurology appointment scheduled yet lol)

Like I guess I'm glad it's not super serious? But like I am crashing out slightly about the high platelets, we'll just see how it goes vibe...

What if it's something more serious?! And I just have to sit with it for another 3/4 months???? Idk man. Canadian Healthcare has it's positives and negatives and I'm really feeling the negatives. I wish I had a family doctor (or GP/whatever). Not that that would really solve my problems because they have long wait times too.

Health stuff is especially exhausting when you are already exhausted because you're going through it symptom wise 😭

[pnw-ghost]

Playing the deeply exciting game of "why am I dizzy right now?"

It could be...

1) my super low iron and weird high platelets situation

2) my new beta blocker that I'm taking for migraines

3) deeply mysterious third thing

How exciting!

[pnw-ghost]

Rizatriptan tasting like anything was super unexpected LET ALONE nasty synthetic berry 🤢

Now I know I guess

[pnw-ghost]

Being told I have extremely low iron (and high platelets) actually makes so much sense because I have been exhausted for like a year straight no matter what 😭

[pnw-ghost]

25 mg of a beta blocker has somehow made me feel worse than my daily migraines. Impressive.

[pnw-ghost]

So I finally had my neurology appointment I've been waiting for and surprise! It wasn't great. It was super rushed, I didn't feel like I had enough time to really describe what I've been dealing with, I had no time to ask many questions and I was basically just offered medication to see if it helped the migraines, no follow up testing beyond minor blood work that I can only imagine the ER did in January and found nothing.

The beta blocker I was put on immediately made me feel awful too, dizzy, nauseous, dry mouth, neck pain and increased eye pressure WHICH IS ALREADY SOMETHING I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH AND NOW IT'S BOTH EYES ffs. Left eye pain and pressure is one of my main symptoms.

The best part is the dr said "oh if a medication is causing side effects you can just stop it! Call me if it makes you pass out". Also I have no follow up appointment booked, just that eventually someone will call to schedule one in 3 to 4 months.

This all feels like such a waste of time and I'd honestly rather just deal with my headaches myself like before. This is exactly why I took so long to try and get help for my headaches.

I'll probably try the beta blocker for a few more days but I don't think it's going to work for me at all which doesn't surprise me.

This whole thing was so pointless.

[pnw-ghost]

Got a neurology appointment in about a week and a half. Now I can panic that I somehow wrote the date wrong, the time wrong, realize I have no idea where this appointment even is and panic about what I am going to say and of course inevitably leave important things out.

For real though the appointment is at a hospital and I genuinely have no idea where the check in desk is or the clinic area I'm supposed to go is. Hopefully the website will be helpful. 😅

[pnw-ghost]

My favourite part of my headaches is when it feels like someone is stepping on the left side of my head and trying to simultaneously push my left eye out and yank it back inside. It's such a wonderful feeling.

(I'm being sarcastic to be clear, it makes me want to sob and throw up but those require effort and moving so...)

Crossing my fingers I'll get the call for my neurology referral soon ish because my headaches are getting worse.