thinking about mikoto and the very complicated feelings one can have toward their surviving/lasting parent after they become a single parent for whatever reason...
like... you were the only parent i had to raise me, and i know it was very difficult to suddenly have to care for a whole family all by yourself. you worked so hard to make sure we had enough money and that everything kept rolling despite now having to basically do double the work with little if any help.
and i know you couldn't help our circumstances and that it wasn't really your fault but... Wow You Really Neglected Us And Took Your Pain And Frustration Out On Us And That Kinda Fucked Me Up And Made Me Resent You A Little. Or A Lottle. Or I Don't Know How Much. i just know there's a part of me that can't love you 🥴
liiike. fuuuuuuck. i owe you my life but you also kinda took it away. like literally. i have giant gaps in my memory because i can't remember.
but it wasn't really you who took it away, right? you can't help it. right? this is just how it has to be... right?? Right!
I'll Be The Perfect Child To Make Your Life Easier! This Is My Thank You Gift For Not Leaving! It Doesn't Matter If You Don't Notice How Well I'm Doing Or That You're Too Busy To Come To My Sports Events Or That You Forget About Me Because Of How Much You Have To Do! It's Okay! Because At Least I Know I'm Making Your Life Less Stressful! I'm Sorry For Existing! If I Could Stop To Make Your Life Easier I Would! No Don't Worry I'm Fine! See? I'm Perfect! Perfect. I'm Perfect.