bellumcaritate¡:
âBecause..â Because he didnât love her. Because all his time with his wife didnât even close to comparing to one night with Bella. Not just the sex, although that alone was burned into his mind even in the drunken state he had been in, but it had been intimate. Like everything that had ever been held back came tumbling out between the two of them, expressed with every touch, every kiss. It was as intoxicating as the alcohol always running through his system. He wished it hadnât felt as good as it did, because then it wouldâve been easier for him to set the boundaries once again. He wouldnât feel the need to lie to his best friend. He wouldnât feel the guilt eating away at him now, especially when hearing that she had called him after the test. He really should have answered. Instead? He had been drinking and pretending to do business with others at all hours so he didnât have to face Alexis either.Â
There was no more doubt on whether the life growing inside of her was his as well. The pounding in his chest as reached his ears. Entirely unsure of what to do about it. When you looked at his track record for handling things, it only showed how poorly he did. He stepped up when it came to others, especially his family, but he alone was on a downward spiral. âI fucked up.â He stated the obvious once again. âYou didnât have to lie for me.â Although he was grateful that she had, even if it wasnât for his sake. It felt like it might only be prolonging the inevitable punch to the face heâd receive but now more than ever he knew that information should come from him. Slowly he closed the space between them as much as he could. âIâm not going to make you do this alone either.â No matter how poorly he handled things, he at least had the common sense throughout the shock to know that, that should be said. âHey.â His hands came up, resting on each side of her face as he had her look at him. âIâll be here.â He couldnât promise there wouldnât be bumps in the road, it was him after-all, but heâd just have to try his best to not be a complete fuck up.Â
Bella did her best not to think about the night between them, the emotions, and the unspoken words that course through them through the various actions that night. Her body instantly responding to the memories, making her clear her throat and turn her head to look somewhere other than him. She didnât plan on forcing him into something he probably didnât want, which was why she was ready to tell him she could handle this on her own, that he didnât have to lift a single finger for her or their daughter. She glided her tongue along her lower lip. Of course, she didnât need to lie for him and the only reason she did was that she would always put him first. No matter how much she hurt. He mattered way more than she ever would. It was hard to imagine what would have happened that night she had called him, the night where she held the stick between her fingers and let the fear fill her, the stories of what potentially happened running through her mind because the non-answered phone call spoke louder than he ever could.
âIt doesnât matter,â she said quietly. It didnât. She lied and that was the way the cookie crumbled. âI donât need -â she exhaled as he took a step closer, the air leaving her almost instantly because everything in her was leaning into the distance closing between the two of them, knowing how wrong it was for her to have this much attachment towards someone who couldnât leave his wife. She parted her lips when he told her she didnât have to do this alone. âI didnât tell you because Iâm not the kind of girl who wants a man to feel trapped by her,â she whispered. It was true. She didnât want him to stick around her because he had to, she wanted him to be here because it was what he wanted. She let her eyes move towards him when his hands touched her face, knowing she didnât have a choice. â - I canât pretend I feel nothing towards you, Stef...â Her words were barely audible. âI canât.â She kept her eyes on him. âSo, if you are going to be in this... I need to know now... Do I have a chance with you? Romantically?â















