poe

the best — they/them sometimes i write or draw

[poelenta]

obligatory introduction :0)

i'm poe (them/him, 22, etc etc) and i love 2 write and draw :0) i am in many fandoms bcuz i have lots of love in my heart. my interests include but are not limited to

Interview With The Vampire / birds specifically turkey vultures / paintings of horses / Heated Rivalry / movies :) / making a smoothie every morning / Superstore / collecting stickers!!!!!!!! / writing and reading fanfiction / writing and reading non-fanfiction books / Bob's Burgers / tea consumption / playing on the machines at the gym / and MORE

sometimes i write and/or post and/or reblog nsfw content bcuz i love that stuff. people under 18, i love ya but stay back pls. my dms are OPEN as is my HEART<3

[poelenta]

in which Ilya makes a purchase (and the ways he reckons with it)

my continuation of “baby” is here! or starting here, should i say, because i can’t imagine this will be the last fic i write in the series. i’m having fun. anyway, enjoy :o)

[poelenta]

chapter 2 is finally posted!!! i love writing this series so very much<3 i'm so open to suggestions for future parts also because it can be hard to think of ideas lol anyway, THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HAS READ AND ENJOYED AND COMMENTED i hope to have more for yous soon<3

[poelenta]

hiii! It's radioriot (from ao3) and I saw your reply to someone saying that chapter 2 of irvtb might be out in the next couple days and i am SO HYPED

(The olympics just ended and I need somewhere else to focus my excitement. Your writing is exactly the place)

Also, will we be seeing Shane actually bottle feed ilya or is it just talking about it or is it a surprise?

Hi!!!! A couple days turned into many weeks and for that I am deeply sorry. I rewrote the chapter multiple times and even now that it's finished, I'm still not completely happy with it, but it's in my beta reader's hands and will be in yours as well soon!

Here's a little snippet to hold you over until it's published<3 I am so grateful you've stuck with me and my little story even as I've taken ages to update it. THANK YOU SO MUCH<3

— Snippet —

"He didn’t realize how small he was feeling until his phone lit up with a call from Shane and every word in his brain gleefully melted down into one. A word he had to bite back painfully as he answered, “Hi Jane, what is up?” 

Sveta snorted. She knew, and had known before she was told, but even after learning the boy Ilya was in love with was Shane Hollander, she still called him Jane, and thus, so did Ilya, in her presence. Unfortunately, that meant Ilya was now able to be so close to both of them at the same time, his two favorite people. Sometimes he felt so happy it hurt. 

“Is Svetlana there? Put her on speaker!” 

“Put her on speaker? You would rather talk to her? I am not good enough for you?” 

“Do it. I wanna say hi.” 

Grumbling, Ilya put Shane on speaker phone and let them practice each other’s respective languages. Hearing Shane try to speak Russian made him want to cry, but he managed to hold it in. He could be cool. He could be normal. He could be an adult."

[poelenta]

ILOVEEEEEE BABY AND IRVTB OH UR MIND IS SO

THANK YOUUUUU i am SO GLAD you love baby ilya, he is just everything to me! i write him and shane with all the love in my heart<3

more of Ilya Rozanov vs The Bottle is to come! i've been struggling with motivation due to life stuff, but i have not given up on the series OF COURSE!!! i hope to post Chapter 2 within the next few days, but here's a little snippet to hold you over!!!

—

"His therapist would ask him to look at the facts, but then again, his therapist didn’t know about the bottle. She didn’t know about any of it, in fact. Therapists weren’t supposed to pass judgement, he knew, but he also knew she was only a person, one who might look at him differently should he admit to wanting his boyfriend to bottle feed him. He wondered what she would write in her notebook if she knew. He wondered if she would get it wrong. 

These were the facts: Shane once said he pictured feeding Ilya from a bottle. Ilya became fixated on the idea until purchasing a bottle for himself. Ilya then left said bottle on Shane’s kitchen counter for him to find. Shane was never consulted. 

Listing his transgressions side by side only made him feel worse, dishonest and inconsiderate and incredibly cowardly. When he already felt as though he was just narrowly escaping the crushing force of depression, letting himself spiral was tempting. It was the habitual twitch of his fingers as they sought a cigarette or the hot lick of dread in his muscles begging him to run, to create distance. This is not a big problem, he thought, but couldn’t make himself fully believe. This does not need big solutions. 

It was a blustery Tuesday evening, after a landslide win for Ottawa and a tipsy trek back to his apartment, when Ilya got the text. First, is this yours? 

Then a picture."

—

[poelenta]

in which Ilya makes a purchase (and the ways he reckons with it)

my continuation of “baby” is here! or starting here, should i say, because i can’t imagine this will be the last fic i write in the series. i’m having fun. anyway, enjoy :o)

[poelenta]

just finished reading baby and oh my goddd. had to tell you again outside of ao3 (on which im apollotaire) that it's just so so good. ilya calling shane mama because papa never let him be small hurt me so bad but it's also going to go into every single agere fic idea I've ever had. shane age regressing after autistic meltdowns is so good they're so tiring. someone give him a weighted stuffed animal. anyways I LOVED IT.

thank you So Much, i am so happy you read my words and enjoyed mama shane (and baby shane, and baby ilya, the three lomls), and your comment and ask (is that what it's called? i'm still a tumblr novice) filled me with such joy.

i felt so emotional writing that line. i really wanted to convey that ilya calling shane "mama" wasn't about replacing his late mother or about portraying shane as more feminine than he is, but about him feeling safe and loved enough with shane to bestow that title onto him. he associates "mama" with comfort, and i think he felt so much relief even being able to say it out loud again.

thank you again. i'm working on more baby ilya, so here's a snippet of that for you <3

—

— Ilya Rozanov vs. The Bottle (taking place after ilya called shane in the middle of the night because he wanted to be little) —

"Suddenly, he felt so small his brain whited out like he’d inhaled chemical fumes, and the feeling was so intense and so all-encompassing he couldn’t breathe. A tear fell down his cheek, instantly cold, and his mouth opened and closed and opened again as he tried to find his voice. When Shane said, 'What’s going on then?' his heart hurt something fierce. He was hyperaware of the distance between them, and the chill of the AC only made it worse, made him obsess over the skin-on-skin warmth he wasn’t getting, that which he craved so desperately. 

'I want…' His voice caught in his throat. He pouted tearfully and hid his face in a pudgy hotel pillow. Against the white cotton, he managed to say, with a lump in his throat, 'I want to be little.' 

For a second, silence. Then, Shane’s voice swirled through his ear and into his brain like a ribbon of magic. 'Ahh,' he said, and Ilya could hear his smile even over the phone. 'I knew there was something.'"

—

(also, i looked online and decided shane would have this weighed stuffed elephant. i am ofc open to criticism <3) 

[poelenta]

baby (9975 words) by meanyzucchini Chapters: 5/6 Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov Additional Tags: Soft Ilya Rozanov, Soft Shane Hollander, Cuddling & Snuggling, Pet Names, Sickfic, Illnesses, Vomiting, non-explicitly, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sex, non-sexual erections?, Non-Sexual Age Play, In a way, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, any Russian spoken is google translated, the author has not read the books, Depression, Ilya Rozanov Needs A Hug, Ilya Rozanov Gets A Hug, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Age Regression/De-Aging, Mentions of suicide and self harm but nothing is acted upon, Depressed Ilya Rozanov, Established Relationship, Sexual Tension, Light Dom/sub, Domdrop, Childhood Trauma Summary:

5 times Shane calls Ilya baby + 1 time Ilya calls Shane baby back

i wrote this fan fiction for Heated Rivalry ! and for some reason posting the link is being weird so you get all of this ? all the tags ? WHATEVER

[poelenta]

i don't know how tumblr works, i'm just reblogging this to say it's COMPLETE now, yay!!! so that 5/6? should be a 6/6😎

i've gotten so many lovely lovely lovely comments on this fic, i can't even believe it. i love gay people and depressed people and autistic people and age regressors and people with trauma and also everyone else too<3 my heart is so full.

[poelenta]

I just finished reading Baby and I just wanted to tell you that it brought me so much glee. 😊

i am so so happy to hear that<3 writing it brought me so much glee too!!! i'm very grateful that you read my words and enjoyed them.

i'm writing the next fic in the series as we speak :) for your kind message, here's a little snippet!

—

—Ilya Rozanov vs. The Bottle (a barely-edited work in progress)—

"When he got the package, the first thing Ilya did was shove it in the back of his closet behind the box of childhood photographs Sveta had sent him. The packing tape locking in its contents remained unbroken; he knew what was inside from its tracking number, so he didn’t need to open it. In fact, he didn’t need any of it. Not the box, not the tape, and not the bottle inside, in its cute little box with the pastel bees printed on it. 

Whether or not he wanted it… well, that was beside the point. 

Shane didn’t know Ilya had ordered it, which Ilya tried not to make a big deal of in his mind. Maybe the bottle was like lingerie a woman gets to surprise her horny boyfriend, he thought, and then felt profoundly embarrassed by the comparison. Was he so delusional to think Shane would get anything out of feeding him with a baby bottle? Letting Ilya call him “Mama” once in a while and pretending he was little were one thing, but this was undeniably different. This was physical. This added a visual component, one Ilya couldn’t bear the thought of Shane being disgusted by. 

So he didn’t open the box, and he didn’t tell Shane, and he deleted the email he received asking him to leave a review on his purchase. That was it. And yet, even though the bottle weighed only four ounces, as Shane settled into his bed one night, less than 20 feet from his closet door, the secret felt terribly heavy."

[poelenta]

baby (9975 words) by meanyzucchini Chapters: 5/6 Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov Additional Tags: Soft Ilya Rozanov, Soft Shane Hollander, Cuddling & Snuggling, Pet Names, Sickfic, Illnesses, Vomiting, non-explicitly, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sex, non-sexual erections?, Non-Sexual Age Play, In a way, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, any Russian spoken is google translated, the author has not read the books, Depression, Ilya Rozanov Needs A Hug, Ilya Rozanov Gets A Hug, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Age Regression/De-Aging, Mentions of suicide and self harm but nothing is acted upon, Depressed Ilya Rozanov, Established Relationship, Sexual Tension, Light Dom/sub, Domdrop, Childhood Trauma Summary:

5 times Shane calls Ilya baby + 1 time Ilya calls Shane baby back

i wrote this fan fiction for Heated Rivalry ! and for some reason posting the link is being weird so you get all of this ? all the tags ? WHATEVER

[poelenta]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

heated rivalry fanfiction by me (aka meanyzucchini) and etc.

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shane HOLLANDER💜

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i'm a lot obsessed with them

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svetlana vetrova i love you

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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

omg i super forgot i wrote peacemaker fanfiction until this moment but i should probably put it here too anyway here is that

[poelenta]

ilya rozanov on capcut free version

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the vampire claudia doodles<3

[poelenta]

it throws me off so bad when people draw fanart of White Louis and White Armand. like, love that for you if you like the books that much but i can’t fathom preferring THEM????