ishaan

he/him - 19 - INFP

[poemsandpetrichor]

when mitski said "one word from you and I will jump off this ledge i'm on babe" and when phoebe said "so i will wait for the next time you want me like a dog with a bird at your door" and when taylor said "and then cancelled my plans just in case you'd call" and when hozier said "i slithered here from eden just to sit outside your door" and when tomberlin said "don't you dare me to, cause you know that i will" and when phoebe bridgers said "i wanna hear one song without thinking of you"

[poemsandpetrichor]

young adulthood is like being alone in your room with all the materialistic wants of your 12 year old self, and not knowing what to do with them.

where do i put my favourite book's annotated copy now. if i have no bookshelves to spare.

when do i play my favourite video game if my mind is never elated.

i am everything i wanted to be when i was 12. but why am i  still not enough.

it's freeing and captivating all at once, knowing full well you have the whole world in front of you and your mother won't hold you back if you try to run onto the crowded street.

knowing nothing exists between you and the end.

it's scary to think, so i just dont think.

i listen.

i live.

not knowing if I'm really living or or just alive.

my body is turning 20.

i am still 12.

and i'm crying like a tall child.

[lanalovestay]

is it too soon to discuss how track fives are obviously notoriously heartbreaking and hopeless… they’re poetic streams of consciousnesses, begging or questioning or proclaiming tragedy. and here we have you’re on your own kid, which starts out expressing inadequacy and emptiness, just to unexpectedly shift to an encouraging outro, flipping the entire notion of “track five” on its head to tell everyone while you may be on your own, you HAVE YOURSELF. and that will be enough if you let it. taylor taylor taylor you have done it again

[poemsandpetrichor]

i just realised you're on your own kid is my new liability

[poemsandpetrichor]

I know you were just a friend, but i feel like dedicating hard feelings, all too well, good 4 u and every godforsaken breakup song on this planet to you. Because when taylor said 'you kept me like a secret, but i kept you like an oath' it cut a little too deep.

I know we weren't lovers but you're probably the only person I had truly loved in my life at that time and i couldn't care for my existence as long as it had alleviated a piece of yours. I wish you were more than a green circle on my phone but you're not, i wish your whatsapp texts were a little further above but it's not.

My 19th Birthday was my favourite because it was when you told me how you missed me so and even though i never saw you, you were all i could see for the entire day, week even.

I wish i could hold you for one last time and feel your permanence because i dont believe you are real anymore, you're just a green circle on my screen that i can't help but press on.

I know for all the time you missed me you only wanted to puke your entire existence and existential crises on my body because you knew I'd happily shower myself with every bit of you. and the worst part is that it's still true, its still real. i would still pick every piece of you even from the depths of hell because i dont love myself, i only love you.

i dont hate you but i wished that i did, because i cant love you anymore and its too hard not to scream out with all my will and run back to you but i cant. i cant see you and not have any emotions, but i dont know what this feels like. none of the poets told me about it, its a burning sensation but its calm, its soft, its all the hatred i have for what you did and all the butterflies that whisper your name in my ear.

i want to hate you but i cant. i want to love you but i cant.

[manishaaaaa]

Midnights is for the people who worked hard to get a life of their own, but now feel empty, it's the album you listen to when you're alone in the kitchen with no partner to cook with, no friends to go out with, no parents to comfort you. It's for the jo march people, who gave up everything and everyone and pretend like it's alright but cry themselves to sleep every night, it's for the ambiverts, it's for the people who stare at the ceiling for hours after coming home, it's for the masterminds, the people pleasers, the people who think they're unlovable, it's for the autumn/winter people, it's for the people who love gloomy weather and rainstorms, for the people who read the most gut wrenching books to feel emotions, it's the ultimate sad people album.

[poemsandpetrichor]

being an indian kid and listening to mitski is such a surreal experience, especially every song that talks about her relationship with her parents.

its like yes youre the only one who gets me, who gets my pain of loving and hating this person at the same time, to asking them to wash your back just this once or going crazy over the thought of someone else's disapproval of how they raised you.

[oyeevarnika]

i hate losing contact w people and not being able to share about life. like i think of u everytime i listen to this song and think oh she used to scream this part. i hate going to subway and remembering that u don’t like mustard i hate that u won’t be the godmother to my kids

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[gets kidnapped] so like..what made me so special be honest

[poemsandpetrichor]

Just paid attention to the lyrics and haven't stopped crying since.

also this song gives me the sky is pink vibes :') which also makes me cry sm

[priiisdope-deactivated20240518]

Just say "I'm too hot for this shit" and move on

[a-really-hot-caterpillar]

i love you unphotogenic people i love you awkward smiles i love you weird angles i love you weird lighting i love you pinterest-inspired outfits i love you side profiles i love you faceless pictures i love you

[konoko]

[a-really-hot-caterpillar]

Multitasking to ham desis se seekho. Mumma papa kamra band nahi karne dete isliye ham nahate nahate ro lete hain.

[1989taylorsversion]

It's so funny to me that in the past when Taylor would do an August album announcement and late October release, I thought it was sooooo long to wait... Now I'm like ok damn so it's basically coming out tomorrow. Cool

[poemsandpetrichor]

I just miss the surprise album drops.

[oyeevarnika]

September in India

Ahhhh!

"September you are the doorway to the season that Awakens my soul"

P.S : I love Autumn 🤲🏻😩

[kosmogrl]

[unbotheredmuse]