Poesiealbum

Everything you see is written by me

[gedankenkabinett]

I think I have understood, at least for me personally, what the fundamental base, or the fundamental rule, of any relationship is. It does not matter whether it is friendship, work or love. Whereas in love it is likely to be most crucial. 

No matter what you do, how you act, what you say, first think about how you would feel in the place of your partner. If it triggers something negative in you - think twice about whether you really want to act this way. If it would hurt yourself, do you really want to risk that it could hurt your partner? “Treat others the way you want to be treated”. This saying is the cornerstone of any happy and honest relationship. 

The last thing I want to do is seeing my partner being hurt. And the very last thing, seeing him being hurt because of me. Of course it can occur, that you say something that hurts him out of impulsivity or the heat of the situation. This is totally fine and absolutely normal. But then you can still make the situation less worse with simply talking about it, admitting that you said something hurtful and apologizing to your loved one for what you said. 

And the very last thing, but maybe most important, all of this counts as well when your partner is not present in a situation. I think there are many people who (sadly) think that what the other person does not know will not hurt them. And of course, theoretically this is true. But in my eyes this is exactly the key point, as to whether or not a relationship will exist happily for a long time. You have to act the way you want your partner to act as well, in any situation, no matter if he or she is present or not.

But maybe that is just me and I am totally exaggerating here. Maybe it seems as if I am very prude, but honestly, I do not care one bit. I will always choose to be seen as prude by anyone, rather than hurting my lover and best friend.

I truly cannot and probably will never be able to understand why some people flirt, or do similar things with others, just because their partner is not around to see or hear it. I really and deeply feel that you should always act the way as if your partner was there by your side, because everything else seems like lying to me. And that is pretty easily explainable: There is no sense at all in acting differently when your partner is there then when he is not, because the love between you two is always there. And for me, this very love should be reason enough to think twice about how you would feel in the place of your partner and whether you would want your partner to feel that way or not. Because after all, love is the very foundation of the relationship the two of you have with each other.

Personal thoughts on the fundamental rule of any given relationship - 23.11.2020

[gedankenkabinett]

Somehow falling in love is pretty much the same as sitting in the sun for the first time after a long period of only grey skies and rainy afternoons. Only as soon as you feel the sun on your skin or the love in your heart you realise how much you’ve been longing for it. You try to soak up as much sun as you possibly can, keeping it locked inside of you for when the days get darker and more grey again. You don’t want to lose that feeling of warmth and comfort, that’s why you try to hold it inside of you. And that’s exactly what you do with the love you’re getting, too. You save it for when you can’t see the other person, for when you can’t be close to them, for when you miss them so so much. So I guess the love is for our heart and soul what the sun is for our body and skin; an elixir that keeps us alive, warm and sweet during darker, colder and lonelier days.

about the sun and the love, 29/4/19 22:10

[poesiealbum]

I want you to show me all of your childhood scars and I want to hear all the stories behind them. I want you to tell me about your biggest fears and why they exist. I want you to show me your baby pictures and pictures of your first school days. What did you want to be when you grow up? Which song makes your eyes tear up and which one makes you smile because you're reminded of beautiful times? I want you to tell me everything because I want to get to know you. I want to know you because I care. But most of all I want to know you because I want you to know me, too.

I want to know because I care, 27/12/18

[gedankenkabinett]

“It’s 1:30am I’m lying in bed and I’m thinking about how badly I want to change. I don’t really want to change as the person I am but I want to change my mindset and behaviour. What I wish for in the world are more peace and more love. And that’s exactly what I want to give to the world. Peace and love. And to do this I’m trying to be more in peace and love with myself. I’m trying to accept my flaws. I’m trying to write down my thoughts every night so that I don’t keep them buried inside of me. I’m trying to relax more, even if things don’t fall into place right away. I’m trying to listen better when someone talks. To give more compliments and have fewer prejudices. To be even more open towards foreign things. To try new things and maybe be surprised about how great they are. I’m trying to make more out of the hours my days have. I’m trying to let go of things that don’t make me happy anymore. To say it out loud if I don’t want something anymore. To talk more open about my feelings in general. I want to let people know how I feel and how I feel about them. I’m trying to give love and peace to the world and I’m hoping that I will get some back.”

— it’s time for more love and peace, 22/8/18

[gedankenkabinett]

Almostness - Fastheit

Die Fastheit eines Tages spät am Abend

Die Fastheit eines Kusses im Augenblick davor

Die Fastheit eines Wortes, zögernd

Die Fastheit eines Moments im Zweifeln

Die Fastheit einer Liebe im Denken

Die Fastheit des Lebens im Überleben

[poesiealbum]

die Fastheit des Moments im Zweifeln

die Fastheit des Lebens im Überlegen

2/4/18

[gedankenkabinett]

“I crave honesty and depth in a world that lies to look good on the surface. People don’t talk about feelings anymore. When they talk to you, they listen to what you say about your job, your earnings, your new car. They don’t listen to your dreams, your thoughts, your fears. They don’t want to know. They don’t like feelings because feelings make you vulnerable and weak, feelings make you human. And sadly there isn’t a lot humanity left in today’s society. People work and live like machines. Everyday. But people are not machines. People are human. But they forgot about it. They don’t look behind the skin of someone. They don’t see how beautiful and extraordinaire your mind is. They don’t care. They see your clothes, your expensive phone, your outer beauty. And depending on what they see, they’ll like you or they won’t. In today’s world you can only impress people with your outer appearance. And this is what makes me mad and sad at the same time. When did a job, career, appearance and success got more important than love, friends, family and happiness? I don’t want to live in a world like this. In a world without real feelings and emotions. Please - let’s start to be a little more open-minded. More creative, less deliberating, more loving, less criticising, less caring in general but more caring about the ones we love, more spontaneous, less over-thinking, more sympathetic, less rushing, more relaxed. Let’s be deeper, realer, let’s be more human again. I crave honesty and depth. I crave feelings and I crave people who care about the inner self of others. I crave honesty and depth in a world that only tries to look good on the outside without listen to what it feels on the inside. I crave humanity.”

— where did all of humanity go?, 19/3/18

[poesiealbum]

Oh dear, the words you spoke and the way you acted just didn‘t match.

talk less, do more, 25/2/18

[gedankenkabinett]

I want someone who I can lay in bed with and just talk to. Talk the whole night until we can hear the birds starting to wake up outside, until the sun slowly rises. Not a „how was your day?“ kinda thing. A real talk. Tell me what your biggest fear is & tell me why. Tell me about the dream you had when you were a kid. Tell me why you hate your father. Tell me about that one nightmare that always comes back. Tell me why you don‘t believe in god. Tell me the story behind your worst heartbreak. Tell me everything you‘re afraid to talk about. Let’s stop hiding our feelings just for one night. Let‘s talk about everything that‘s going on in our twisted minds. I want to hear it all. Let‘s spit our thoughts on to the sheets, not worrying about the mess we’re creating, knowing we‘ll clean it all up the next morning.

But tonight, let‘s talk.

stop hiding your feelings and talk, 03/10/17

[poesiealbum]

A young girl tried to find healing at the exact same place where she once had found pain, but she soon had to learn that maybe she could find pain after healing but never the other way around.

23/02/18

[poesiealbum]

I wonder what the two of us could‘ve had with each other. One little decision ended everything and I sometimes ask myself if it was right. But it doesn‘t matter anymore cause this is the past and the past is something you cannot change. But still, after such a long time, when I lay in bed I make up scenarios in my head of things which could‘ve been real if I or we decided differently. Somehow I wish the universe guided us a little better, showed us what is right and what is wrong a little more, so that we wouldn‘t have to figure it all out by ourselves. Because some people are bad at making the right decisions and I just hope that I wasn‘t one of them back then.

so many what if‘s, 12/02/18

[gedankenkabinett]

Just stay on your path and do whatever you want to. Or walk away from your path if you don‘t feel good anymore. Just do what you like and do what you want. Don‘t let anyone tell you not to. They don‘t know how you feel, they don‘t know the way you see things, they probably don‘t even know who you really are. I don‘t tell you not to listen to the people who care about you. Listen to them, take their advice, ask them for help if you don‘t know what you should do anymore. But in the end you should listen to your inner self and your true feelings. You‘re the only person who really knows your feelings and thoughts. So listen to yourself and live your life the way you want to. It‘s yours and only yours.

stop thinking that much, 03/01/18

[gedankenkabinett]

Why the hell does this society try to hide its feelings so hard? Who thaught us this shit? Maybe it was a father who once told his little boy: „Son, never show a girl how much you love her, otherwise she will control you“. Or was it a mother that once told her little girl „Honey, women don’t conquer, they get conquered“? I don’t know why or when our society started to hide their feelings - but it sucks. It honestly does. Step out of your comfort zone and tell her that you love her. Tell him that you miss him every time he leaves the room or tell him that your feelings for him have faded. Let her know that you’re unsure about your feelings. Fight for him. Cry in front of her. What‘s the point in holding your feelings back? Do you want to feel and experience every single bad and good thing on your own? Keep your feelings inside of you? Never let them out? There‘s no point in doing that. Feelings may hurt you from time to time, but they‘re a beautiful, beautiful thing to experience! So please darling, don‘t close your heart. Let them know how you feel instead, you never know if one day it‘ll be too late.

please do not close your heart, 22.01.28 (via gedankenkabinett)

[gedankenkabinett]

My feelings are finally fading.

- My heart is setting itself free, 9/10/17

[gedankenkabinett]

With every new wave that comes the ocean leaves the shore. But he always comes back. And the shore never refuses to let him touch her, to get close to her again. Maybe that‘s what happens between some people. They might keep getting away from each other over and over again, but they always find their way back to each other.

some poeple belong together like the ocean and the shore, 02/10/17

[gedankenkabinett]

Maybe your soulmate isn’t the person you’re determined to spend your whole life with. Maybe it’s the person you always feel connected to when you two are in the same room. The one in whoms present you’re always completely yourself. The one who never really goes away. Maybe your soulmate is the one who somehow always stays here.

maybe i still have to find you, 10.9.17

[gedankenkabinett]

Don’t be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself trying not to lose someone.