i wanted to live deliberately

“We can still be killed,” Celeste explains. “Not by illness or old age or most injuries, but some of your stories are actually right about a few things. Stakes for one. And sunlight. And removing the head entirely.”

She gives a shrug that comes off entirely too nonchalant for talking about the possibility of one’s own death but she had long since stopped fearing the possibility. Celeste is in no hurry to die but a thousand years has given her a certain peace with the idea that one day, it would happen. Maybe one day far, far in the future but definitely someday.

What she fears most now is not the loss of her own life, but the loss of others’. The loss of her husband in particular. That would certainly kill her. Celeste had decided as much a long time ago.

“Avoid those and we’re fine but how long can you really dodge death? Believe it or not, I’m approaching an age that will make me somewhat of a minority amongst my kind, and my husband, he’s a thousand years older than me but infinity? It seems arrogant to me to believe that’s a possibility for anyone, let alone us.”

After all, the Toussants have a lot of people who want them dead. Maurice far more than Celeste, truly, but again, his death would be hers too. Of that, she is determined.

#milleansxmort #( travesty . horror . decadence . excrement ) / * verse [ welton ] .

Brows furrowing at the explanation, Neil couldn't help but wonder what the point of such a life could be if not immortality, the entirety of it seeming more like a punishment than anything if there wasn't the comfort of knowing your death could be easy and painless. Removing the head entirely? Such a thought was enough to make him feel ill.

"How old are you?" The question left his lips before he could stop it, swallowing down the awkwardness of such a comment. His mother had always told him never to ask a lady her age and so far he'd managed to abide by this rule -- He supposed asking it of a vampire wasn't the worst way it could be broken. "If your husband is... what, a thousand years older? He must have seen everything."

Brown eyes suddenly seem so heavy, so old, as they fix on the young man before her. How does she bear it? What keeps her alive through it all? What keeps her from simply walking into the sun and ending it all? Celeste has never sought death, and in fact she has fought tooth and nail both as a human and a vampire to preserve her life, but when actually faced with the question of why, only one answer comes to mind.

Maurice.

Because no matter what they go through, how dark things get for them, they always have each other and that alone is worth living for. One more day with him is worth living for. Even when they fight, even when they’re apart, it’s him that truly keeps her going and as long as he remains alive, so will she. Happily, despite it all.

“There are still good things in my life,” she answers, fingers moving to play with a wedding band far older than she is. “I still have love, family, my home, things to look forward to. Loss hurts, yes, and nothing will ever take away the pain but there are always good things worth living for. Sometimes, you just have to remember to look for them.”

#milleansxmort #( travesty . horror . decadence . excrement ) / * verse [ welton ] .

Perhaps it was selfish of him to seek answers within her own response, wishing for something that could make his own problems make sense once and for all. To be seventeen years old and hardly able to grasp onto a reason to keep going would likely seem foolish to somebody as old as Celeste, wouldn't it? So why was he desperate to hear her answer?

Love, family, home. Neil could only smile at that, dark eyes brightening despite the disappointment he felt at something so simple -- Perhaps those things would tether any normal person to their life and mortality, but such things still seemed a million miles away for him yet.

"Yes, I suppose so," he agreed, tugging almost anxiously at the bottom of his sweater. "There must be others like you though? Surely there must be some who are lonely."

“They’re likely the same, but not nearly as intimidating as father would be.” She assured him, her gaze turning to rest on him. “They’re troublesome, but they mean well, naturally. They’re just boys.” Surely Neil knew what that was like, being one himself.

“But what about your parents? Are they going to think we’re getting engaged or something?”

#theresastargirl #( make your lives extraordinary ) / * verse [ college ] .

They're just boys. Neil had grown up around every type of boy imaginable at Welton, knew the troublesome ones well enough to picture what her brothers were like back in Scotland. A whole gang of Charlie Daltons -- Now wouldn't that be something? If that were the case, Neil would be just fine.

"Oh, certainly." Said with such assurance, he couldn't help but crack a grin as he glanced towards Ophelia. "My mother will be thrilled. Father, too - I think he's worried I'm never going to settle down. No, they'll be crushed when I tell them the truth. 'Oh Neil, whatever will your grandmother say?'"

“Oh, I’m a daydream, trust me.” She laughed behind her glass as she watched Neil head off into the fray. Despite his protests, he really did well with the other girls, seeing how eager they leapt at the offer of a dance with him. Thankfully, it seemed he was having a good time as well, laughing as the pair danced around.

As he rejoined her side, Ophelia had summoned the bartender for another round for him. “You did wonderful.” She wrapped an arm around him, tugging him close to her side, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Maybe that gesture would dissuade the girl from getting any ideas for later. “I never truly appreciated how good of a dancer you are when I’m right across from you. Watching from the side, I was quite impressed.”

#theresastargirl #( make your lives extraordinary ) / * verse [ college ] .

The kiss to his cheek, as chaste as it was, caused them to burn red as he laughed in response, knowing Phee's game in an instant. He could see with a glance back at his dancing partner that she had been witness to it, lips turned into almost a pout as she stomped back towards her friends. A relief, no doubt.

"You know, I can never quite tell when you're being serious." Taking the drink, the words were almost an admonishment - Could have been seen as such if it weren't for the bright grin that accompanied them. "Its a compliment. You would make an excellent swindler."

scribedhorror

"Okay, okay, I'm going!" He retorted, tossing his suit jacket onto his bed and doing his best to fend off the fabric that was whipping at him on his way out of their shared room.

Bill had grabbed a towel on his way and gave the other boy a parting swipe with it before he disappeared down the corridor to the communal bathrooms.

His shower was quick, as promised, and within a few minutes he was making his way back to the dorm room with his dirty clothes in one arm and his towel secured around his waist. The other boys were used to his nonchalance by now, he was sure.

"How'd I do?" Bill asked with a grin as he walked in, kicking the door shut behind him and running his free hand through his hair. After tossing his laundry into the hamper. "Are we going to make it or am I being left behind?"

#scribedhorror #( travesty . horror . decadence . excrement ) / * verse [ welton ] .

As promised, Bill had managed to shower in the time it took for Neil to select a suit and pull it on. His tie wasn't even knotted when the other came back into their room, a quick glance sent towards him before the taller turned back to the mirror and swallowed, willing his cheeks to cooperate and not betray his thoughts.

"Well, I hope you're planning on getting dressed," he grinned, finally arranging his tie with a quick brush down before reaching for his jacket. "I'm not sure my father would appreciate the lack of effort if you turned up in a towel."

“Do you really want to live forever?”

( @poetcrowned )

Celeste gives a shrug. “I’m not arrogant enough to think that’s really a possibility,” she says. “Everyone dies at some point. Even vampires. But either way, I’m happy with my life. I don’t plan on ending it — voluntarily or not — anytime soon.”

#milleansxmort #verse tbt

Everything Neil had learned about vampires had been from books, Dracula and Carmilla, coffins and moonlight and bloodlust. A castle deep in the middle of nowhere where magic pulsed through the walls and strangers steered well clear -- It hardly seemed possible that such an entity could reside right here.

And yet the more he spoke to Celeste, the more he wanted to learn, wide eyed and eager for more tales of immortality. To live forever. What a promise.

"I thought vampires lived eternally. Is that not part of the deal? Infinity?"

"That's a terrible story."

( @poetcrowned )

“It’s a true story,” she says. “They’re not always pretty.”

#milleansxmort #verse tbt

Swallowing thickly, Neil let the story wash over him like a bad dream, his own problems seeming miniscule by comparison. He supposed that there was only so much heartache a person could go through in seventeen years... and Celeste had more years on him that he could fathom.

"How do you..." A pause. An intake of breath as a hand raked through his hair. "How do you bear it?"

scribedhorror

"Oof--" The shorter breathed at the weight of the other boy crashing into his side. Bill might not be tall like Neil or Pitts, but he was broad and there wasn't a whole lot of room on the single mattresses the school provided and he found himself needing to turn onto his side to make some space. Leaving the two of them facing each other.

Maybe he should have expected this reaction out of the brunette, but for some reason, it hadn't occurred to him that Neil might be this excited about the prospect of Bill being a published author. "I sent it to a few," he clarified with a chuckle. He hadn't heard back from any yet, but it hadn't been all that long.

"Didn't think there was really anything to tell until something came of it," Bill admitted with a shrug of his free shoulder. Judging by the look on the other's face, then maybe he should have told him sooner if only to get him to smile like that.

Sitting up when Neil jumped up Bill could see that the other was already plotting something, and he was proven right as soon as he opened his mouth. "Woah-- There really isn't anything to celebrate yet, I haven't heard back. Hellton hash is perfectly acceptable for prospective writers."

Plus there was the fact that he was uncomfortable with anyone doing anything for him. Bill was as self-sufficient as they came, even if it had been out of necessity at first. Now, he just did as he pleased because he didn't have anyone to please besides himself.

"Maybe we hold off on the celebrating until something actually happens."

#scribedhorror #( travesty . horror . decadence . excrement ) / * verse [ welton ] .

Why wasn't he making a big deal of it? It was incredible! Even if he hadn't heard back from any publishers yet, Neil knew that he would -- What kind of idiots would turn down the opportunity to publish one of Bill's books? If the snippets he'd read over the years were anything to go by, he could have any publisher he wanted.

"Uh uh-" A hand was raised to stop him right there, shaking his head like a petulant toddler. "I can't-I can't hear you. No, I don't understand what you're saying." A grin spread at that. "A celebration! Come on, Bill."

After a moment of pacing, Neil knelt down before him practically nose to nose, a hand reaching out to rest on the other's forearm before shaking it impatiently. "Look at me. Something has happened - You finished your book and sent it to a publisher. You'll hear back. And if you don't... well, then they're all idiots."

scribedhorror

Bill met Neil's gaze, almost challenging him to say otherwise. Because it was true, everyone did like Neil Perry. The brow that was raised at him was incredulous, but they both knew he was right. He was impossible not to like. Maybe it wasn't the kind of like that was specifically romantic, but how was anyone supposed to know they had the option if it wasn't presented to them?

For his part, Bill was the kind of person to make it known right away when he was interested in a girl. Liking a boy, though, was different. Much more complicated. Not that there was anyone to talk about that with. Well, maybe the new kid would get it. He seemed like he might, but he didn't want to freak him out more than he already was.

"You can work with books. There's that place downtown that has all those old rare and used books with the café inside." One if his own personal favourite places to go. Great atmosphere, lots of hidden corners... I would be a great place for a date with someone who could appreciate it. Ginny seemed like she might.

Bill groaned dramatically as his legs were moved, only stopping his momentum when his ankle was grabbed. "I appreciate your flair for the dramatics but I really don't think that one bad date will doom you to a life of loneliness," he chuckled, one foot now planted on the floor to keep himself from rolling off his bed.

"Wasn't planning on it," he replied with a shrug. "I know that Charlie was hoping to find someone to spend his time with at the festival." He hadn't really been giving it a whole lot of thought before this moment. "If you'd feel better going on a double date I'm sure I could find someone that might want to go with me. Or you don't have to take her to the festival at all."

#scribedhorror #( travesty . horror . decadence . excrement ) / * verse [ welton ] .

Neil had only been to the mentioned café once before, a pretty little space that made you feel like you were in a completely different world -- It would be the perfect place for a date, no doubt, but the idea of taking Ginny there seemed somehow wrong. He brushed off that thought as quickly as it came, making a mental note to ask her if she'd been before.

If anything, Bill was probably the perfect person to come to with this issue - If it were a real issue at all. Both he and Ginny liked books and their sense of humour walked the same line. Neil was sure they'd get along plenty, cut from the same coin as they were.

A double date. "Maybe." No. Watching Bill walk around with a pretty girl on his arm? Winning her a prize on the coconut shy and taking her on the Ferris wheel? He'd rather drown himself in the lake. "Do we have to talk about this now? I mean, she hasn't even said yes."

It was as though his mood had depleted in a split second, the way that it sometimes did without his meaning to, and Neil stood from Bill's bed and flopped down onto his own. "I don't feel too good, Bill. I should probably sleep."

At the mention of her father, Ophelia flopped back down onto the grass, staring up at the sky. “He’ll get the wrong impression regardless. He’s a father.” If she brought home a boy, surely he’d interrogate Neil, and given his military background, that would be less than ideal for a first meeting.

Though if they never met, maybe it’d go over better. “I think he’d want to have a phone call with you, at least. Give you the whole ‘be respectful of my daughter’ speech and all that. But he let me run off to America, where I was bound to meet boys. I’m sure he’d be alright with it eventually.”

#theresastargirl #( make your lives extraordinary ) / * verse [ college ] .

"Oh, sure." It made sense that any father worth his salt wouldn't let his daughter traipse around the States with a boy he hadn't vetted first, yet the thought of a phone call with the man made Neil's blood run cold. What would he even say? 'Yes, sir. No, sir. I promise I'm a good guy, sir.'

Maybe her father wasn't the issue. "And your brothers?"

“Seventeen! Even better!” She grinned, laughing as she plopped back down on the bar stool. Taking a long sip of her drink, she tried to think of what she could get Neil to do next.

“Easy, alright, how about…” Hazel eyes scanned the dance floor, spotting a group of girls off to the side, looking their way. “How about you ask the birds over there if they’d want to dance? They’ve been making eyes at us all night and I think one of them would definitely take you up on the offer.”