“Ciao, signora. Sei americano?” A tall slender gentleman wearing a beige linen suit and a smile held out his hand wondering how he should communicate. I didn’t even look at him. My eyes looked straight out the double wooden doors of the villa, over the sparkling ocean watching the waves crash against the biggest, sharpest rocks I’ve ever seen. That’s only what I was seeing. Where I was. Where I’ve been? I didn’t know. My mind was somewhere else completely. I was married…but then, was I really? If I was, who did I even marry? Legally, I was a Bitain. Ulèy Bitain. I longed to be — “Signora? Sei americano?” I rubbed my temples. “Sí. I prefer English. Is my room ready?” He stood back and gestured me towards the rooms. “Sí, signora. Your luggage awaits unpacking. Will Mr. Bitain be joining us soon?”
I stood and stared at him. He didn’t know. He didn’t know that Mr. Bitain, that man of my dreams, was a fucking waste of…just a waste. It wouldn’t be fair if I flipped out on him. He didn’t know. “I’m sorry, what do I call you?” I asked, trying my best to be polite. He doesn’t know Ulèy, I thought. He straightened his linen jacket. “Mi chiamo Aldo, signora. Call me Aldo.” “Aldo,” I smiled. “Mr. Bitain will not be joining us. He barely joined me. As a matter of fact, he joined Vanna. Vanna Carvalho. Some brazilian bitch from Camden. He joined her about 7 months ago, during my first fitting for my wedding dress,” Aldo swallowed hard, his eyes darted to the front desk of the villa looking to see if anyone else was around, then back to me. “And then approached Mr. Bitain right as our reception ended. Would you like to know the rest?” Aldo wanted to exit the conversation as fast as I would permit him to. “Eh, err, signora—” “He’s not joining us. Please just show me to my room.” He wiped sweat from his forehead and led the way to the suite.
My phone was full of missed calls, text messages and voicemails from my mother, Kuruk’s mother, my best friend Fee, my sister Utèh and my brother Unan. Most of the messages were from Kuruk, naturally. They went from being confused as to where I was, to finding out (per me sharing my location, which I meant to turn off) and cussing me out for not responding to any of his messages or phone calls, to apologizing and wanting know if I was okay and what brought this on…I just laughed. That was all I could do. I did all of my crying canceling and re-booking flights, when I made some money transfers and lining up a few showings for a couple houses I wanted to see. I was done. Everything I had with Kuruk the past 5 years went from feeling like a dream to feeling like a nightmare— imagining where and how they met, what she had that I didn’t, and just…why. Why? What wasn’t I doing? Then I remembered what I heard him say to Vanna after the reception. “…I just needed a replacement while she was gone…” I kicked my suit case over. I threw the pillows off the bed. I knocked the wicker lamp and the landline onto the floor. I wanted to trash everything in my space. I wanted to choke Vanna. I wanted to bury Kuruk.
He cheated on me, his fiancé, because I was working?! I went on business trips for TWO DAYS every MONTH. TWO FUCKING DAYS. He couldn’t wait for some pussy for two days?! No. I’m not accepting that shit. There’s something else. There’s something else I was missing. I wanted so badly to call him, wishing he was here in person, so I could ask him before I killed him. But I knew that would be a waste of time because he wouldn’t tell me the truth! What man would tell the truth about cheating if he didn’t think he was caught? Then it dawned on me. HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW THAT I KNOW.
That seemed to be the phrase of the day. He doesn’t know. Nobody seemed to know any fucking thing! Only me! I sat on the bed with the palm of my hand glued to my forehead. I was in disbelief. I went through all of this, made all of the changes necessary to keep my fucking sanity—completely forgetting that Kuruk didn’t know what the changes were for. I laughed again. I felt crazy. All of these emotions I had to sort through…it would take a lifetime, truthfully.
Okay, let’s just start with Vanna, I told myself. I already did some research on her—found out her whole name, where she lives, who her parents were, where she works…her whole life, and since she ruined mine I planned on torturing hers. I didn’t give a shit. Why should I? I closed my eyes and told myself to breathe. In and out. When I opened them, I realized the sun reached the other side of the sky, which told me the afternoon would be evening soon. I spent enough time emotionally sorting so I had to try and relax while I was here. It would be easier said than done, but I didn’t want to go back to the states with a tight neck. I called Aldo and apologized to him for my attitude. He seemed accepting and asked if I needed anything. “Could you move my massage from 6 to 5? I desperately need this tension in my shoulders released.” “Nessun problema. Our kitchen has a new cocktail that is magnifico if you would like to try, signora. It is how you say, un’atmosfera—uh, ‘a vibe’.” I swallowed a laugh. “Sure. Thank you Aldo.” He slightly bowed. “Sí.”
After my massage, I decided the least I could do was call my mom. She’s the main one who deserves to know I’m okay. It would be hard trying to explain to her why I left. Maybe I can call my sister and tell her that part. I got back to my room and dialed my mom.
“Oh my Lèy! Where are you??? What’s happened?” She went on and on in what sounded like gibberish and crying. “Ma, please. I’m okay. Can you calm down? Ugh.” I hung my head. She was so emotional and dramatic. She had other children who were younger and never gushed this way over them. Utèh left for a week with just a text and instead of going loco she says to me she should’ve left sooner, which is crazy to me. “Ma, I’m fine. I needed some time to myself. I’m experiencing things that I have to handle on my own. I just wanted to call you and let you know I was okay.”
“What things? What is going on? I don’t understand. You left your new husband to do things alone? Lèy what is it? Why are you acting out?”
“Ma, I have to do this. I’ll call you later. I love you.”
“Ulèy what are you—” I hung up. It’s never ending with her. I dialed Utèh. “Sistaaaa what the hell!” She laughed. “Why you got momma losing her mind?” I shook my head. “Are you at the house with her?” She smacked her teeth. “Hell no, I’m home. She’s been calling me all damn day. After the first couple of calls I just stopped answering.” “Okay Tèh, listen. I caught Ruk cheating. Some girl named Vanna showed up after yall left the reception and I caught the conversation so I left.” The call got quiet. “Tèh? Did you hear me?” “Kuruk???” I sighed “yes”. And just when I thought I was done, I cried again. “Sissy…I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you call me sooner? You know I would’ve caught up with ole girl,” I heard her breathing heavily. My siblings were very protective despite me being older. You’d think people would worry about Unan, being he was extremely tall and built like a black Henry Cavill, but Utèh was the demon. “After what I heard I couldn’t be there anymore. I had to put miles between us before I was in cuffs. That sort of thing I leave to you.” I wiped my soaked face and chin. “Who is this girl? Vanna??” I heard Utèh shuffling with something in the background. “I’m figuring out what to do Tèh don’t even worry about it,” “Nah this bitch gotta go. You said Vanna right?” “I have to do it. This is personal.” Utèh grunted, disappointed. “Wait, there was only a few people at the reception that I didn’t know. Some older couple that momma invited, two of Kuruk’s groomsmen, the guy who brought his daughter— he who wore those ugly ass red Astro boy boots…why did you even let him in?” I couldn’t control my laugh. Utèh never knew when not to go there. “He’s a co-worker Tèh, please.” “Well they were hideous…and some girl that had long dark brown curly hair, a shit ton of make-up and she wore a pair of blue Manolos with that blush pink dress? Girlfriend can’t even dress right.” I thought about what Vanna had on. The lighting wasn’t great where they were standing on the side of the venue, I only just barely made out the shape of her dress. “Was it a baby doll dress? With tulle?” I asked. How the hell did she get in, in the first place? Who the fuck even told her about where our wedding was?! The only explanation would be Kuruk. “Yes! Wait, THAT WAS HER???” It was over. Now that Utèh knew, I wouldn’t have the chance to do anything. “Tèh, I’ll call you later. Don’t tell ma you heard from me. The last thing I need is for her to bully you for answers.” “Lèy Lèy we’re not finished, hoe. And I am not in the least bit worried about momma. But okay, I love you. Don’t be surprised if you see me over there, I need a vacay too.” “Bye Utèh.” Enough. I threw my phone on the bed and laid back. Italy and Aldo put up with me until I got on the plane back home 5 days later.
The Wisconsin air whipped around me, making my hair dance. I wasn’t as cheerful as the weather, though. Italy was the serenity that I needed. I’m proud of myself for allowing my mind to rest from the bullshit I had to come home to. I stepped out of my car and headed into CStreet, dreading having to see the woman and man who equally had a hand in fucking up my marriage before it even started. I did a lot of thinking on the plane and decided that instead of adding bodily stress to my mental stress by creating turmoil for this inconsiderate bitch and putting Kuruk directly out onto the street with just his name to show for our marriage that lasted all of one hour, I wanted to hear what they had to say so I can determine if the decisions I’d making would be worth it. Nobody would care this much. So why did I? It was too late to back out of this weird ass meeting. I was just going to go in there, get some answers and leave. That was my plan. Honestly I didn’t even think they’d show. Well, I didn’t think Vanna would show let alone agree to it to begin with. I shook off the unnecessary worry and found a table closest to the door, just in case I had to take the meeting outside. One thing about Ulèy, she hated to cause damage to someone’s establishment. I had to have some type of class.
CStreet was unusually lit inside for a side street bar. The only windows were on the front of the small building but the natural light reached all the way to the restrooms in the back of the pub. I had my back to the wall so I could see who’d walk through the door first. The bartender waved at me and asked if I wanted anything, I told her no. I needed to be clear headed for this. After 20 minutes of watching an old Packers game on the muted television, more natural light beamed on the floor as the door swung open and a petite figure stepped into pub. Hair curly, loose blue ruffled blouse, and denim bell bottoms. She looked like something straight out of the 70’s. Of course Vanna would show up before Kuruk did. Apparently the lord adored Kuruk a little too much, unless they planned it this way. Vanna looked straight at me. I stood up.
“Ulèy, right? You sure you wanna talk to me?” Bitch don’t play dumb, I thought. I took a deep breath. I knew how badly I wanted to knock her silly ass straight out of the door but…class. “Just have a seat.” I held my hand out towards the seat across from me at the table. She walked around me and fluffed her hair. I closed my eyes. Breathe. We both sat simultaneously.
“Is Kuruk coming?” she asked. “You tell me.” “I wouldn’t know, he’s your husband.” “Is he though? You’re the one fucking him.” “I am, aren’t I? Mmm,” she sat her face on her hands.
We both stared each other down. I took a few seconds to regain control. If I opened my mouth too soon her face might’ve been going through the table.
“Listen. I didn’t come here to go back forth with you. I asked you and him here to figure out what the hell is going on with y’all two.” She sat back in her chair and sighed. If I didn’t know any better it looked like she smirked before telling it all. “I met Kuruk at Neville Public. I have no idea why he was at a museum alone,” she rolled her eyes. “but, we ended up walking it together and got to know each other. He’s been so sweet and has been supporting me since. I do love Kuruk. He’s told me he loves me, too. He’s been tellin’ me he loves me since what…maybe 3 months ago? I can’t remember exactly. But we literally spend all of our spare time together. You never gave him the attention that a man needs and he was always lonely and you were always working so…now I’m not stupid, he never actually said he would leave you, but he may as well. I know he didn’t mean all the weird shit he was saying at the reception.” she shrugged her shoulders. I couldn’t say anything. Because right when she finished, Kuruk walked up to the table.
My breaths came in short, and my heart sank all the way to my feet. Kuruk stood above me, wearing the full white and yellow pinstriped suit that I loved, smelling like he bathed in YSL, holding a bouquet of pink lillies. He even had on the loafs I bought him last summer. I couldn’t imagine that he came here, dressed like that, with flowers…for me. I knew what he was trying to do. I knew this was bait. There was no way IN HELL I was falling for this. So why did I want to cry? Why did I want to jump in his arms and kiss him…hug him…hold him…?
“Ulèy…” I looked up at him, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. I fought them so fiercely without having to blink. Don’t break, Ulèy. Not yet. Don’t let either of these fools see you break. I exhaled. “Keep your flowers and sit down, Kuruk.” The tears slowly dissipated once I refocused. Vanna stood up, pushing her chair back so hard it fell into the couple of chairs at the next table. “Kuruk?? What the hell are you doing?” She looked him up and down like he lost his mind. “Vanna shut the hell up! I told you on my damn wedding day I was done! What the fuck made you think I was gonna leave my wife?!” The situation was getting out of hand; aside from disturbing everyone else’s evening and damaging someone else’s establishment, having my business on front street wasn’t ideal either. Unfortunately it was too late and it was my fault for even thinking that the people involved could solve this issue privately in a public place.
I seen a where this whole thing was going and I didn’t want any part of it. I was the last to stand. “Kuruk…why did you think I’d stay? Especially after finding out? Y’all couldn’t even keep it away from the wedding I still can’t believe I been walking around…” my voice trailed off. I don’t know if I couldn’t figure out the words or if I just didn’t have it in me anymore to try. “Ulèy plea—” “Kuruk, don’t. I really don’t want to hear it. I thought I did, for a split second…but I could care less about what the fuck either of y’all do. Y’all can have each other. Just remember Vanna, how you get them is how you lose them.” I walked out of the pub with Kuruk yelling after me and Vanna yelling at him. The sun in Green Bay caressed my skin and even though I still felt sad and defeated leaving the man I loved the most—the man who broke his vows before even making them, I sensed Utèh had already destroyed Vanna’s life—well at least her bank accounts, and that I had new life on the horizon. I knew I’d be okay. Damn criminal, I thought. I jumped into my white Durango and peeled off. I was determined to just live my life, and not worry about a man who couldn’t wait two days.
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