Chapter 26: What You Do To Me
I led Trey towards my bed without saying a word as the music from my iHome continued to play through the speakers. I was happy to see him, even though I couldnāt truly express it do the incident that occurred earlier with Lance.
I cried so much when I got back from the gym,only because I was so pissed off, and yet again hurt.
Even though I told myself not to cry, to just let it go and let the past be the past, but I couldnāt help it.
It hurt so bad I felt the need to break down. Something I havenāt done since I woke up from the coma. I just kept it all inside so I could make the best of this new life I had.
It worked up until todayā¦
I honestly thought the day I would see him again, he would at least seem remorseful or apologetic after everything he put me through, especially that coma, but he wasnāt.
Instead I canāt believe he tried to force himself on me as if I would be willing to have him again.
What did I ever do to him that he would want me to hurt so much??
I began to think maybe he never loved or cared for me in any way. Even before he became how he is now.
He wined and dined me early on when we first got together, you know talked that sweet talk, deep conversations, he showed me things I never seen or thought of before. It was amazing and fun and all, and I truly thought that was love.
Love is so much deeper than that.
According to 1 Corinthians 13 verse 4 states āLove is patient and kind. Love knows neither envy nor jealousy. Love is not forward and self-assertive, nor boastful and conceited.ā
But what he and I shared wasnāt love. It was the total opposite.
He spoiled me with everything I thought I wanted, but not what I needed.
I needed respect, affection, emotional support, honesty, his love, and for him to be a real man, but he gave me pain, misery, and an ocean of tears along with heartache.
There was a time I needed all of him because he had all of me and more.
I just wish there was a way that my heart could be unbroken, my pain could be relieved, and all the memories would just go away.
I felt Treyās lips rub softly along my shoulder blades moving up in between the crook of my neck, as he held me tightly in his arms. He made his way up to my right ear whispering āYou sure youāre okay?ā softly inside.
I took a deep breath inhaling his luscious scent through my nose that sent such a warm tingly feeling through my entire body.
āI am nowā I exhaled.
He held me closely from behind with his back against the padded headboard as he harmonized the lyrics to Jagged Edgeās āGotta Beā in my ear. My previous thoughts quickly faded away as a smile appeared across my face. His warm touch was so relaxing and felt perfect against my skin and his voiceā¦his voice was soothing to my soul.
It still amazes me how Trey has held me down throughout these last few months. He was always right there for me. I never had to beg him to be there when I needed him, act out in order to get his attention, or put him before myself to prove to him that I care. Not once because he always knows when I need him before I even have to fix my mouth to speak.
He knows me so well itās like he can read my mind.
Itās unexplainable how he makes me feel.
Iām not even his woman, but he treats me like I am. He respects me like a Queen, and he adores the woman I am. I never have to pretend to be someone Iām not with him. He accepts everything I bring into this special thing we have. He supports me in every way, and overall he is everything any woman could ever need.
I just donāt know if Iām good enough for him. Iāve been damaged so muchā¦I donāt think I can give him my all, but I canāt say I wonāt try.
Time past us by as me and her finally discussed everything that happened today.
It took everything in my power to not storm the hell out of this damn room and ride over there to kill his muthafuckin ass for putting his hands on her yet again.
Before I could reach the door Carmen snatched me back down so quick telling me to let it go. She didnāt want me jeopardizing my life for another especially for a nothing ass nigga.
Truth was I didnāt care, but I respect how she feels. I fought hard for her before and she wasnt even mines. The fight in me now has grown massively now that we share a great bond.
At the end of the day I just wanted to protect her in whatever way I can. And if I keep turning my back and this nigga keep trying shit Iām going to kill him. Period.
āBabe, you donāt understandā¦ā I sighed in frustration with my back now leaning against the locked door. Her big eyes just looked up at me as she raised one of her eyebrows.
āWhat is it that Iām not understanding? How you, me, an everybody want to take a piece out of him?ā She asked. I could tell that this entire conversation was irritating her at this point.
āLook I just donāt want nothing else to happen to you. We all wanna protect youā¦and me personally Iām gonna do whatever it takes at the end of the day and thatās the end of this. The next time he tries any fuckin thing itās his ass. ā I said with authority while making myself very clear.
Instead of her pleading me not to, a cute smirk came across her face before she nodded in agreeable while saying āItās his assā as she chuckled.
āThe serious look you had on your faceā¦itās rare when I see it and somehow I found it funny. Iām used to you being nice and sweet, not all hyped up, veins pumping, and sweat boiling on your forehead.ā She laughed harder as I joined in.
āYou got jokes I see, but itās cool. If thatās what I gotta do to keep a smile on your face then so be it. I live to see you happy. It might sound crazy, but itās the honest truth.ā I let her know pulling her closer to me. My hands took the shape of her hips and I squeezed them making her giggle before locking my lips with hers. Our tongues frolicked while her hands made their way up my shirt. Within seconds it was going over my head and falling to the floor.
I stared at her for a few seconds before yanking the towel right off her body, revealing her beautiful bare skin. āDamn baeā¦ā I expressed while picking her up in the air as she wrapped her golden legs around my waist as I led her back to the bed.
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