They're creepy and they're kooky
Summary — Hannah has the phase and Josh doesn't like it.
Hannah stared at herself in the mirror chewing her lip.
Thick black eyeliner. Black lipstick. Smudged eyeshadow that took way too long to do. Her hair was straightened. She even threw on a choker she found. It had a tiny silver bat on it. Iconic.
She was approximately two seconds away from spiraling.
hannah: and you’re not allowed to laugh
Beth replied with one word.
When Beth stepped into the bathroom, she choked on her drink.
Hannah immediately turned away. “Nope. Forget it. You don’t get to see me. This is a mistake. God is punishing me for thinking I could pull this off.”
Beth coughed, trying to recover. “No no no no. Wait. You actually look—hold on—I just wasn’t expecting—jeez, Han!”
Hannah side-eyed her through black eyeliner. “Was that a compliment?”
Beth grinned. “Depends. Did you mean to look like you’re summoning demons?”
Hannah let out a strangled noise. “You do hate it.”
“I didn’t say that! I said you looked like a vampire. That’s different.”
“I feel like I just got insulted and complimented at the same time.”
Beth was still staring. “I mean, it’s kind of a serve? Like, ‘hey boys, I’ll curse you and ruin your bloodline’ kind of thing.”
“Not what I was going for, but thanks.”
Beth glanced at her phone and then smirked.
beth: get your ass up here
beth: han's gone full goth
Hannah's eyes widened. “Beth. Don’t.”
Josh barreled up the stairs like a raccoon on energy drinks, turned the corner, and stopped dead in the doorway.
He backed up a step like he was being hunted.
“Who—WHAT—is that? What did you DO?!”
Beth was already laughing.
Hannah groaned. “Can we not start with the dramatics?”
Josh, already holding his chest like he was on the verge of cardiac arrest, gasped so loudly he nearly inhaled a moth. “I swear to Christ I just saw a demon. Did you sell your soul? Did Satan have a sale?!”
Hannah rubbed her temples. “It’s just makeup.”
Josh pointed like she was a cursed painting. “That is not ‘just makeup.’ That is a cry for an exorcism.”
Beth wheezed. “I’m gonna pee.”
Josh slowly circled Hannah like she was a ritual circle. “What is this? Are you joining a cult? Are you dating a guy named Crow? Did you rename yourself ‘Raven’?!”
“I just tried something new!”
“New?! Hannah, you look like you escaped a Tim Burton audition and murdered the competition!”
Beth collapsed against the wall, laughing so hard her eyes were watering.
Josh wasn't done. “This is how it starts. First, the eyeliner. Then the Latin. Then you’re floating three feet above the bed speaking backwards.”
“I literally just did a smoky eye and black lipstick!”
Beth had slid to the floor, holding her stomach. “Josh, please.”
Josh turned to her, deadly serious. “Our sister is being consumed by the darkness and you’re laughing?!”
“She looks like she sacrifices goats! Which would explain a lot because Lucifer IS A GOAT.”
Hannah, trying to salvage any remaining dignity, muttered, “Maybe I am a child of darkness.”
Josh threw his hands in the air. “She admits it!”
“YOU DON’T JOKE ABOUT DARK MAGIC, HANNAH!”
Beth, from the floor: “She hasn’t even bought crystals yet, calm down.”
Josh dramatically leaned against the doorframe. “I’m not calm. I’m emotionally unprepared. I need a priest.”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible.”
Josh sniffed. “I’m gonna sleep with garlic under my pillow.”
“You’re thinking of vampires, dumbass.”
“You’re thinking of joining them!”
Beth cackled. “This is the best day of my life.”
Josh made a cross with two pens he found in his hoodie pocket. “The power of Christ compels you.”
Hannah muttered, “I should’ve just dyed my hair instead.”
Josh fake-fainted into the hallway. “SHE’S PLANNING STAGE TWO.”
The table was set. Roasted chicken, potatoes, vegetables. And Josh had scooted his chair a full three feet away from Hannah. He kept glaring at her like she was going to hex him.
Hannah, now dressed in an oversized hoodie over her goth makeup (but still proudly wearing the bat choker), chewed calmly on a piece of broccoli.
Josh, whispering to Beth: “She hasn’t blinked in five minutes.”
Beth, whispering back: “You haven’t blinked either.”
Bob, cutting his chicken: “Can we not start at dinner, Joshua?”
Josh sat up dramatically. “Father. Dearest. Listen to me. Hannah has joined a dark cult and plans to consume us all.”
Bob didn’t even look up. “Good for her. Pass the salt.”
Josh gasped. “YOU’RE JUST GIVING UP THE SALT? SHE’LL USE IT TO DRAW SYMBOLS.”
Melinda raised an eyebrow. “Josh, are you still going on about this?”
“Still? STILL?! This is an active crisis, mother. This is ‘our daughter might summon a Victorian ghost’ levels of concern.”
Beth was cackling into her napkin.
Hannah, calmly sipping her water: “You know, I’ve been thinking about getting a snake. Or a spider.”
Josh gasped so hard the lights flickered. “SEE?! SEE?! THIS IS HOW IT STARTS. SNAKES. THEN TAROT. THEN NEXT THING YOU KNOW, WE’RE HOSTING A RITUAL IN THE BASEMENT.”
Melinda: “If you’re going to yell about Satan at the dinner table, go to your room.”
Josh pointed across the table like a betrayed detective. “You’re defending her.”
Bob, deadpan: “I just want to eat. Is that too much to ask?”
Hannah leaned over to Bob. “Hey Dad, do we have any black candles I could have?”
Josh shrieked like he’d been stabbed with a crucifix. “SHE’S PLANNING SOMETHING!”
Bob, sipping his wine: “I don’t know, ask your mother.”
Melinda, looking at her goth daughter and her feral son, absolutely done: “I swear to God, I raised three gremlins.”
Josh threw his napkin down. “One of us is clearly cursed!”
Hannah, smiling: “I made cookies earlier. They’re shaped like little skulls.”
Bob: “Now that’s a cult I can support.”
Josh nearly flipped the goddamn table.
