They're creepy and they're kooky
Summary â Hannah has the phase and Josh doesn't like it.
Hannah stared at herself in the mirror chewing her lip.
Thick black eyeliner. Black lipstick. Smudged eyeshadow that took way too long to do. Her hair was straightened. She even threw on a choker she found. It had a tiny silver bat on it. Iconic.
She was approximately two seconds away from spiraling.
hannah: and youâre not allowed to laugh
Beth replied with one word.
When Beth stepped into the bathroom, she choked on her drink.
Hannah immediately turned away. âNope. Forget it. You donât get to see me. This is a mistake. God is punishing me for thinking I could pull this off.â
Beth coughed, trying to recover. âNo no no no. Wait. You actually lookâhold onâI just wasnât expectingâjeez, Han!â
Hannah side-eyed her through black eyeliner. âWas that a compliment?â
Beth grinned. âDepends. Did you mean to look like youâre summoning demons?â
Hannah let out a strangled noise. âYou do hate it.â
âI didnât say that! I said you looked like a vampire. Thatâs different.â
âI feel like I just got insulted and complimented at the same time.â
Beth was still staring. âI mean, itâs kind of a serve? Like, âhey boys, Iâll curse you and ruin your bloodlineâ kind of thing.â
âNot what I was going for, but thanks.â
Beth glanced at her phone and then smirked.
beth: get your ass up here
beth: han's gone full goth
Hannah's eyes widened. âBeth. Donât.â
Josh barreled up the stairs like a raccoon on energy drinks, turned the corner, and stopped dead in the doorway.
He backed up a step like he was being hunted.
âWhoâWHATâis that? What did you DO?!â
Beth was already laughing.
Hannah groaned. âCan we not start with the dramatics?â
Josh, already holding his chest like he was on the verge of cardiac arrest, gasped so loudly he nearly inhaled a moth. âI swear to Christ I just saw a demon. Did you sell your soul? Did Satan have a sale?!â
Hannah rubbed her temples. âItâs just makeup.â
Josh pointed like she was a cursed painting. âThat is not âjust makeup.â That is a cry for an exorcism.â
Beth wheezed. âIâm gonna pee.â
Josh slowly circled Hannah like she was a ritual circle. âWhat is this? Are you joining a cult? Are you dating a guy named Crow? Did you rename yourself âRavenâ?!â
âI just tried something new!â
âNew?! Hannah, you look like you escaped a Tim Burton audition and murdered the competition!â
Beth collapsed against the wall, laughing so hard her eyes were watering.
Josh wasn't done. âThis is how it starts. First, the eyeliner. Then the Latin. Then youâre floating three feet above the bed speaking backwards.â
âI literally just did a smoky eye and black lipstick!â
âYou summoned demons!â
Beth had slid to the floor, holding her stomach. âJosh, please.â
Josh turned to her, deadly serious. âOur sister is being consumed by the darkness and youâre laughing?!â
âShe looks like she sacrifices goats! Which would explain a lot because Lucifer IS A GOAT.â
Hannah, trying to salvage any remaining dignity, muttered, âMaybe I am a child of darkness.â
Josh threw his hands in the air. âShe admits it!â
âYOU DONâT JOKE ABOUT DARK MAGIC, HANNAH!â
Beth, from the floor: âShe hasnât even bought crystals yet, calm down.â
Josh dramatically leaned against the doorframe. âIâm not calm. Iâm emotionally unprepared. I need a priest.â
Hannah rolled her eyes. âYouâre impossible.â
Josh sniffed. âIâm gonna sleep with garlic under my pillow.â
âYouâre thinking of vampires, dumbass.â
âYouâre thinking of joining them!â
Beth cackled. âThis is the best day of my life.â
Josh made a cross with two pens he found in his hoodie pocket. âThe power of Christ compels you.â
Hannah muttered, âI shouldâve just dyed my hair instead.â
Josh fake-fainted into the hallway. âSHEâS PLANNING STAGE TWO.â
The table was set. Roasted chicken, potatoes, vegetables. And Josh had scooted his chair a full three feet away from Hannah. He kept glaring at her like she was going to hex him.
Hannah, now dressed in an oversized hoodie over her goth makeup (but still proudly wearing the bat choker), chewed calmly on a piece of broccoli.
Josh, whispering to Beth: âShe hasnât blinked in five minutes.â
Beth, whispering back: âYou havenât blinked either.â
âIâM ON EDGE, BETHANY.â
Bob, cutting his chicken: âCan we not start at dinner, Joshua?â
Josh sat up dramatically. âFather. Dearest. Listen to me. Hannah has joined a dark cult and plans to consume us all.â
Bob didnât even look up. âGood for her. Pass the salt.â
Josh gasped. âYOUâRE JUST GIVING UP THE SALT? SHEâLL USE IT TO DRAW SYMBOLS.â
Melinda raised an eyebrow. âJosh, are you still going on about this?â
âStill? STILL?! This is an active crisis, mother. This is âour daughter might summon a Victorian ghostâ levels of concern.â
Beth was cackling into her napkin.
Hannah, calmly sipping her water: âYou know, Iâve been thinking about getting a snake. Or a spider.â
Josh gasped so hard the lights flickered. âSEE?! SEE?! THIS IS HOW IT STARTS. SNAKES. THEN TAROT. THEN NEXT THING YOU KNOW, WEâRE HOSTING A RITUAL IN THE BASEMENT.â
Melinda: âIf youâre going to yell about Satan at the dinner table, go to your room.â
Josh pointed across the table like a betrayed detective. âYouâre defending her.â
Bob, deadpan: âI just want to eat. Is that too much to ask?â
Hannah leaned over to Bob. âHey Dad, do we have any black candles I could have?â
Josh shrieked like heâd been stabbed with a crucifix. âSHEâS PLANNING SOMETHING!â
Bob, sipping his wine: âI donât know, ask your mother.â
Melinda, looking at her goth daughter and her feral son, absolutely done: âI swear to God, I raised three gremlins.â
Josh threw his napkin down. âOne of us is clearly cursed!â
Hannah, smiling: âI made cookies earlier. Theyâre shaped like little skulls.â
Bob: âNow thatâs a cult I can support.â
Josh nearly flipped the goddamn table.