There Be Stuff

I just post stuff (mostly fandom based or queer stuff or both). Basically when I can't get my fandom obsessions and/or queer thoughts to go away and need to share them somewhere.

[ponochino]

The Other Bennet Sister demonstrated that it is perfectly possible to tell a story about a bookworm girl in Regency times who is a little disdainful of love, who then goes through a whole arc which results in her happily marrying a man and wanting children. It also demonstrates that in order to do so it needs to be established from the beginning that a part of the girl actually does want love and marriage but convinces herself she doesn't due to external reasons. AND the show must make it clear that finding love and marriage is actually secondary, that she found her place in the world without that, and that it was a bonus but she was complete without it. AND the show must explicitly condemn the characters that try to force the girl to conform to their expectations.

So if Bridgerton wanted to give Eloise that storyline they could have set it up, but they did not, and I'll be very upset if they force it anyways.

[ponochino]

do we think they're gonna bring back Brimsley and Reynolds' love story back for season 5 of Bridgeton to run parallel to Francesca and Michaela?!?!

[ponochino]

my pitch for Eloise's season (assuming we must take inspiration from the book and end with her being married... although I'd be more than happy to scrap both of those requirements... but presuming the show won't, this is my hope):

Eloise is aroace. She is lonely, as everyone she cares about is getting married. She is no longer anyone's "person" anymore, because they all found a new person through marriage. In her despair, she wonders if romantic love really is the inevitable cure for loneliness.

But lo and behold. Enter Philip Crane... also aroace. He never wanted to get married, but after his brother got Maria pregnant and died, he had to.

The specifics of how they meet and bond (over books probably) can be determined. But they navigate a friendship and the mounting pressure to marry, while simultaneously feeling bad that they don't have the "correct" feelings for each other.

Philip still can have an arc regarding his abusive dad and learning to be a father. Eloise tries to support him in that, but while she loves the kids, she's not super maternally so she ends up helping him by helping with his work/paper work/office tasks/running business so he can spend more time with his children and actually connect.

They realize eventually they like their arrangement, that they do love each other, but not as others claim. In order to make their lives easier, they do marry, in a very private ceremony. And then continue with their arrangement.

Neither are lonely. Eloise gets to be involved with intellectual pursuits and business. Philip is the primary caretaker of his children, although Eloise does love them too.

Obviously, there'd be more drama, higher stakes, the queen probably gets involved somehow, but that's the gist of what I want.

TLDR: Eloise and Philip are both aroace and have a queerplatonic marriage.

[ponochino]

I'm terrified for Eloise's season because if they're still trying to remain inspired by the book and fit into their established "romance" genre, I just don't know how they'll do the character justice and give her a satisfying storyline.

The only "realistic" compromise I can see working is if her inevitable "relationship arc" is either an asexual romantic arc or a queerplatonic partnership arc. And quite frankly, I would be very down for either of those. It would bring some important forgotten voices to the conversations surrounding marriage and relationships.

[ponochino]

Pssst... Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde are queerplatonic partners, pass it on...

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Glinda x Elphaba Shrek AU :)

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and they lived happily ever after

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the reason why prequels are so difficult to do well: the end is written before it even begins

the reason why well done prequels are so compelling: the end is written before it even begins

[ponochino]

have any other queer people who have been in straight passing relationships noticed how there seems to be a spectrum of how queer those relationships feel, even when all are with cis straight people? And obviously, any relationship a queer person is in is queer, because there's a queer person involved, but it feels like some relationships just simply have more queer vibes (as felt by the people in the relationship, NOT those observing from the outside!)

like some relationships, I almost feel like I'm straight. Like the queer vibes are non existent.

but then others, it's like, okay, we be queer in some indeterminable way. Is it the blurred vibes between romantic and platonic that is almost giving this a queer platonic undertone? Is it the falling in love with a best friend and the fear of ruining the friendship, which is just so queer coded, even though said best friend is straight and cis? Is it the way some partners embrace my queerness, willing to bring it up and make jokes, almost celebrating the queerness within the relationship? Is it because some people are more open and comfortable in their gender so they're less tied to the traditional gender roles?

I don't know, but in my experience, some straight passing relationships (with straight cis people) simply feel more queer than others.

[ponochino]

What I say: I love the friends to lovers trope

What people think I mean: I love it when two characters are friends but they're super attracted physically to each other and they're both really hot, so it's difficult just being friends when they aren't able to make out etc and when they finally reveal their feelings we get a super passionate kiss and/or more.

What I really mean: I love it when two characters are friends but are also deeply in love with each other, but it doesn't matter because they care about their friendship so much and would never jeopardize it over risking it for a romantic relationship because while yes, they want more with each other, romantic love is not the be all end all, and to be friends forever would be enough (even if it hurts not being able to express all the ways they love them). Because it isn't all or nothing, even if they confessed their feelings and were rejected, they would still do everything in their power to remain friends, because they love them, they always will, and they will do so in whatever capacity they are allowed to do so. And when they realize their feelings are required, it doesn't require the friendship to go through a whole remaking to make it into a romantic relationship, because the foundation is still there and friendship is still so important within it, they can just now fully express the entirety of their love to each other without fear.

[ponochino]

So I've heard about a large variety of different ways of being trans or non binary and how they experience gender and in those explanations, I also heard about what it is like to be cis, largely as a way to explain how being trans is different. And as a gender confused person, when I heard what they thought it was like to be cis, I was like oh yeah, I definitely don't feel like that.

But then I recently started talking to cis people about how they experience gender and many did not fit into the box we have created. There was a wide variety of ways people experience gender within being cis. And that's really cool.

I think it's important for people to know that. Cis people have a variety of gender experiences, a variety of how they relate to their gender. Gender does not have to be a one dimensional construct for anyone, whether they're queer or not.

[ponochino]

never thought I'd see a super hero movie where they save the day with a group hug but here we are and I love it

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all I want is Yelena and Bob to be queer platonic partners.

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any other afabs struggling with whether they're potentially trans/enby and are experiencing gender dysphoria/discomfort or if it is just discomfort with the way our perception of women have been twisted by misogyny, patriarchy, and heteronormativity?

like do I feel a disconnect from other women because I'm not one or is it because some of the women I'm around have bought into a misogynistic narrative that boxes them in?

do I have an issue with being a "girlfriend" in my relationships because it's a weird heteronormative word (like girl as a friend = romance) or is it because I'm not a girl?

am I being an obnoxious and harmful person when I feel like "I am not like other girls" or am I really not a girl?

is the thrum I get from being referred to with they/them pronouns from gender euphoria or is it simply relief at not being seen as a woman first and a person last?

like if society and language were different, would how I identify change? does it matter?

[ponochino]

"He could be Patricia, Peter, Polly, or all three at once for all I care." - Benedict

So what I'm hearing is that Benedict would 100% be attracted to a gender fluid person and which means Sophie Beckett could be gender fluid (which could work really well with the double identities in the story line, if done respectfully) and then Bridgerton could explore a whole new facet of being queer beyond just sexuality.

Make it happen.

[ponochino]

[ponochino]

Doesn't Quite Fit

Womanhood is like a shirt

I've had my entire life.

It doesn't quite fit right

but it still is comfortable enough to wear.

I've tried other shirts on

and they've been nice too

but nothing quite fits correctly.

I am okay with this;

perhaps I was born

to wear ill fitting clothes.

So let me wear this shirt

but just know it doesn't quite fit.

Let me be a woman

and know it doesn't quite fit.