diary of lost things

because it's always been you...

[resqectable]

“Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can’t get any better, it can.”

— Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight

[resqectable]

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”

— William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

[remanence-of-love]

[bladesrunner]

Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.

Her (2013) dir. Spike Jonze

[woundsoflove]

The agony of waiting for the text that never comes is the silence screaming louder than any words ever could.

[positively-negative09]

Thursday, 09/01/25

Lol I found your uni Tumblr blogs. They're public and directly under your name. I just typed your name and they appeared. It is a pretty unique name tbf. But it's amazing reading you talk about your love for cinema and your experience directing and screen writing. I really hope you continued working towards that. You're incredible, you could really be amazing.

[silent-insanities]

Stuck between loving you and never wanting to see you again.

[woundsoflove]

Your hands on my face — that's where I learn what surrender means. Not defeat. Not weakness. Just this: you, me, and the quiet.

[woundsoflove]

I wish u were here next to me.

[softhe4rted]

this hits home

[wantedittobeyou]

mskesme sick

[thresholdofenternity]

How can your words still haunt me, long after I’ve forgotten the sound of your voice?

[positively-negative09]

Tuesday, 06/08/24

I rewatched Her. It's just always gonna be one of those movies that remind me of you. Theodore's letter to Catherine at the end, word for word, was just how I feel about you. I love you so much and I always will. But God's got you now. On my bad days, I'll pray through the memories or maybe just let it flow through me like nicotine. But on my good days, which as time goes on make up more and more of my weeks, you will be a glimmer, a fleeting thought. Maybe not even there at all. I can move on. I will. That doesn't mean I don't love you. This is how I am loving you. I am letting you go and trusting God. I will see you again in heaven, I know it.

I'm sorry I keep having these moments of clarity and letting go. I remember and it's like I'm with you again. But I think that's normal. We just don't forget, it's like our brains refuse. But when we remember we were angry, we forgive again. When we remember we were sad, we smile again. When we remember the pain, we move on again.

I might have a million more of these moments but... That's okay.

We'll be okay.

[whendidmythoughtsgocrazy]

Grieving someone who's still alive is a different type of pain.

k.b. // unknown

[missinyouiskillingme]

[kimitofutari]

[jakegyllenbaalz]

bones and all (2022)

[filmescapism]

⋆˚｡⋆ ⋆˚｡Bones and All (2022) dir. Luca Guadagnino⋆˚｡⋆ ⋆˚｡

[positively-negative09]

Favourite movie

[admireforever]

Bones and All

[positively-negative09]

That's how it felt every time. No matter how long or far we'd go, coming back we'd collapse into each other