We need to be more realistic about lesbian sex, too, because sometimes it feels like this huge expectation to maintain a certain level of stamina looms over us, simply because we’re more prone to practice what straight people think is foreplay and we consider full-on sex.
Some of us have chronic pain. Some of us have past or present injuries. Some of us are on medication that screws with our libido or the amount of time we can last and keep going. Some of us simply don’t feel that much of a desire to fuck. Some of us are on the ace spectrum. Some of us are more than content with frotting and kissing and calling it a good, intimate moment 20 minutes in. Some of us have vaginismus or other conditions that can make sex uncomfortable to some extent.
It’s OK to not go on for an hour. It’s OK to tell your partner to stop. It’s OK to ask them to change positions if you have a bad knee or back. It’s OK to not last, and to be too sensitive to go on, and to call it a day.
Sex is about the journey, the connection, and the experiences you both share in that moment. Orgasming is a wonderful consequence of the chemistry you might have, but orgasming is not the main goal. Remember that, and sex will be a million times more pleasant and, in some cases, less stressful.
Don’t feel pressured to perform. Sex is only good when there’s enthusiastic consent and enjoyment from both parts, no matter the amount of time it lasts.
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