hi! im bug, welcome to my unprofessional mildly insane writing garden <3 please make yourself at home! my blog nav is constantly updating/changing cuz i can never decide on anything lmao
cw: Suggestive Behaviour, Clark's daddy kink/authority kink is slipping out, Someone said Father Figure Clark and you KNOW I agree, Play fighting, Reader gets manhandled and put in a headlock, Asphyxiation but barely, Weird stuff is going on with the weather. Implied mention of vomit but nobody is sick or actually pukes.
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[Clark Masterlist]
A03
"How the hell is it snowing in June?" You ask, sitting cross legged before the full length windows at the front of the store. Condensation has gathered on the interior glass and you watch between the bars on the double doors as a nasty blizzard whips flurries of snow through the parking lot. The flakes are so thick that you can barely see all the way to the street from here. Weather like this was certainly not seen in California. Ever.
"Freak storm." Clark says from somewhere behind you where he's making up the beds. "They've been talking about global warming on the news a lot."
"Yeah, but global warming is... warming. Not freezing." You turn around, pushing yourself up off the floor. "You think I could make it home in that?"
"Absolutely not." He tucks a corner of sheet rather decidedly. "You aren't going anywhere until those winds die down at least. I'm not letting you get lost out there."
You trudge over to him, sulking theatrically and your loud sigh makes his eyebrows raise. You'd gotten a lot more comfortable with him over the course of just one evening. Perhaps he'd won over your trust somehow, because you were much more open with him this morning. Like a flower, finally having found the right conditions to bloom.
"It's not that bad."
"It's boring."
"Then find something to do." He suggests rather unhelpfully.
"Do you have a CD player?" You ask hopefully, eager to listen to your new album he gifted you.
"I'm afraid not at the store." He scratches the back of his neck. "You'll have to think of something else to keep you occupied for a while."
A small, dejected grunt sounds as you think. Then, your face lights up.
"We could play house."
"Ah, come on." Clark waves a hand and glances your way. "I do enough role-playing with my therapist–"
"But I'm not your therapist." You point out and he inclines his head. That you were not. "Please?"
"What the hell." He mutters under his breath. "Sure."
You're practically humming with glee as you skip over to one of the showroom couches, flopping down onto the sofa like you owned it. The TV on the media stand adjacent isn't plugged in but you settle down anyway and pretend to be engrossed in a program on the blank screen. He's never seen you quite this... alive. This at ease.
"Hey!" You look back at him as if just noticing he was there for the first time. "You're home! I was waiting up for you."
"Hey." He hovers awkwardly on the edge of the rug. He hadn't expected you to begin straight away. "Uh... Who am I supposed to be?"
"You can be my..." The word 'husband' takes shape on your tongue, sitting heavy before dissolving. "Roommate."
"Roommate. Yeah. Okay." He clears his throat, shaking out his arms to get into character.
"I was waiting up for you." You prompt again, propping your hand under your chin.
"Sorry, work went late. I had a client who wanted to add another closet to the master bedroom. It would have offset the whole upper floor if I allowed the redesign and it would have unstabilised the entire structure on a ground level. We'd have to add more support beams and- and cross beams, and– you don't care about any of that." He picks up your legs and sits beside you on the couch, setting your feet back down in his lap. "Uh... what... what show are you watching?" He gestures to the blank TV.
A picture of domestic bliss is reflects in the domed screen.
"Blossom." You hum, pretending to be thoroughly engaged in an episode. He'd never heard of it. "Are you sure it was just work? It's nearly midnight."
"That late?" He checks his watch. "Jeez. What are you still doing up, then? You should be in bed. Don't you have that exam tomorrow?"
"Ugh, yeah. I forgot about that." You roll your eyes dramatically. "But I already told you, I was waiting for you to get home."
"Mm. That's real sweet of you." He rubs your leg, giving it an affectionate pat. "But you know the rule. Lights out at ten."
"Ten!"
"You heard me." He switches off the imaginary show with an imaginary remote. "To bed with you." He grabs your ankle and pulls you all the way into his lap before standing with you in his arms.
"Clark!" You squeak, grabbing tightly around his neck and shoulders.
"Don't 'Clark' me." He scoffs, toting you towards the nearest mattress. "It's not up for discussion."
"But–"
"Not. Up. For. Discussion." He drops you on top of the duvet with a huff. You bounce once and he leans over top of you, bracketing you in. "We've talked about this before." His voice drops a quiet octive and he watches your pupils dilate. "I'll let you off the hook this time, but if I catch you up past your bedtime again, there will be consequences. Understand?"
"I... I... Uh huh." You nod, pulling in an uncertain breath while you gaze up at him.
It had been a long time since anyone had looked at him like that; so wide and trusting. So... young. Part of him relishes in the fact that he could still garner such a reaction, yet another withers with guilt. Maybe this was wrong. He was meant to be responsible for you, not leading you on.
"Shit. Sorry." He shakes his head, snapping back to Clark the store owner. Clark your boss. "That was... I'm sorry."
"It's okay." You say softly, biting your lip and trying desperately not to appear as affected as he knows you are. "Why don't you choose a scene this time? We can try something else."
"Fuck it. Okay." He glances around the uninspiring warehouse for a place to start a new scenario. "Uhh..." He scans the room, eyes landing on the front desk. "Here. I'll be a hotel manager and you can be my guest."
"Your fancy guest." You snatch the feathered tricorn hat off the pirate mannequin that faces the front door and pose with it on your head. "How's this?"
"Perfect." He stutters, rubbing his beard. "Good."
"Good. Let's start." You giggle, dragging the mannequin over to the desk as Clark sits down behind it. He grabs the book that Kat keeps for slow days, pretending to read as you enter the imitation lobby.
"Ahem." You clear your throat, one arm draped around the mannequin and the other ringing a fake bell on the counter. "Ding ding, two to check in, please."
"Ah, hello and welcome to Clark's Best Hotel." He looks up. "Do you have a reservation with us?"
"We do." You affirm, kissing the statue on the cheek. "Mwah. We're on our honeymoon."
"Newly weds?" He grins. "How is married life treating you both so far?"
"Perfectly well." You say, then squeal, pretending that the dummy hand had grabbed a handful of your ass. "Honey! Not in front of the staff!"
Clark shakes his head and stifles a laugh, trying to stay in character.
"It's perfectly alright." He assures you before adding, "It actually happens all the time. Allow me to show you to your room."
"Thank you."
He rounds the desk and leads you and your plastic husband through a long, winding imaginary hotel hallway.
"And here we are." He stops before one of the display bedroom sets and unlocks an invisible door. "I'm afraid the honeymoon suites were overbooked by mistake, but I hope you will enjoy this smaller, discounted room instead."
You scoff in false disdain, throwing your hat to the floor in pretend tantrum. "This is completely unacceptable! I was promised a double king bed with chocolates on it!"
"Well, I can toss a mint on the sheets if that would make you feel better..." He rummages around in his jean pockets. "I think I've still got a hard candy in here somewhere..."
"How unprofessional!" You turn to the mannequin. "Tell him, my love. Tell him it's unprofessional."
"Yes." You drop your voice, assuming a deeper tone. "This is completely ridiculous. We were promised an entire suite."
"Booking mix up, I'm afraid." Clark shrugs. "Nothing to be done."
"Nothing but this–!" You exclaim, throwing up your hands in a boxing stance. Your elbow extends, throwing a slow punch at him and stopping just short of his abdomen. "Take this! And this!"
"Ah!" He grunts, doubling over as if you actually got a hit on him. His fingers curl around an imaginary walkie talkie at his shoulder and he shouts, "Security to room 302 immediatly, I have a combative guest." He blocks a few more of your punches and you pretend to knee him in the stomach. "Ouch–! I repeat, a very combative guest."
The next time you go for a punch, he catches your fist mid-air and spins you around, trapping your back against his chest. One strong arm bands around your middle, pinning your elbows to your sides and his other hooks around your neck. The scent of his deoderant envelops you just as suddenly and he holds you in a headlock with just enough pressure to make your heart stutter.
"Honey, do something!" You gasp, going limp against him and barely daring to breathe. Every inch of him was pressed along the length of you.
"Oh no, your husband seems to be running away." He croons, ribs expanding behind you. "He's no match for me, isn't that right?"
You grunt, head going fuzzy when he tightens his arm just enough to threaten your breathing. But you're not scared. Clark would never hurt you.
"Yeah, that's right. Neither are you." He chuckles, breath tickling your neck. "Say it."
"Never!"
"Say it." He sing songs, dragging you back a step as if drawing you into the hotel room with him. "All you have to say is 'I'm no match for you, Mr. Hotel Manager. You're too strong for me.' Go on. It's just a few little words."
"No." You pant, feeling your pulse quicken. It's exhilarating to be held like this; Tight. Immobile. Close.
"No?" He repeats, nose nudginig into your hair. "Why not?" He asks softly. "Is using your words too hard?"
You shudder, dropping your head againt his shoulder and your hips twitch involentarily.
"Aw." He huffs, tightening his arm around your stomach and replacing the crook of his elbow around your throat with his hand. He tilts your head back even further, still keeping that even pressure around your windpipe with his fingers. "Was this your plan all along? Was this what you needed? To be put in your place and be told what to say? When to breathe?"
The look on your face tells him all he needs to know.
"It's okay to say 'yes'." He murmurs, smirking when your eyes glaze over entirely.
"Yes." You breathe, and he rewards you with a slow, subtle roll of his own hips against your backside.
"See? That wasn't so hard." He gradually relaxes his hold on you, fingers trailing along your collarbone before falling away.
"Clark?" His name was shakey falling from your lips and you don't turn around just yet.
"Yeah?" He answers, husky.
"It's stopped snowing."
It takes him a few seconds to shift gears.
Against his better judgement, he'd been ready to throw out a few lines he'd heard used in bad pornos since you seemed just as eager to continue your little role play as he was. But like a switch being flipped, your attention was now out the window and not so much in his arms. Though he could tell that his touch was lingering.
"Huh." He adjusts himself, trying to ignore how tight his jeans have gotten. "It has."
"We should go see."
Clark was not exactly angling to be cooling down after your racy back and forth, but he lets you drag him out into the plaza anyway because the phenomenon of getting snow in the middle of summer was bizzare to say the least. A few shopping carts lay abandoned and half burried in the middle of the parking lot and the overcast sky was already starting to warm up again. The powder creaked beneath his nice sneakers and he looked over to where you were sniffing a handful of the icy flakes.
"It smells weird." You curl your lip, dusting off your hands. "Kinda sweet, but still gross. Sickly."
He packs a ball for himself and he has to agree. It smelled like the rot of an orchard at the end of a season. Overripe.
"I'm gonna taste it." He decides, overtaken by the juvenile urge to discover by licking things that probably shouldn't be licked.
"What? Ew, no!"
But he was already lapping at it like a snow cone.
"Weird." He says, holding it at arms length and smacking his lips. It tasted like nothing, mainly. Hints of an acrid sweetness came through but it wasn't revolting. Just unnatural. A little off. "You can eat it."
"I'll pass." You knock the snowball from his hand and shiver. "Will you drive me home now that the wind has stopped? I've had a nice time, but I really want to listen to my new CD now."
"Of course." He agrees, swiping his chilled fingers along your cheek. "Just let me grab my keys."
Them basically RP-ing as the couple in the IKEA showrooms.... god I've always wanted to do that with someone but alas, no IKEA and nobody to go with. (So which one of you wants to travel to an IKEA and play toxic relationships with me??) Also, IKEA horror is so peak. I hope that the Horrorstore movie will be good because that book was a banger. I should probably not have read it so young bc it made me sick to my stomach, but thats ok I turned out good 😍😋
Like I said in the preview of this: I can't lie, I haven't had this much fun and enjoyment in a fandom since I was 14 and writing destiel fics on Wattpad 😭🙏. GOING BACK TO MY ROOTS
Fem reader who takes a special liking for Pirate Clark and spends more time with him than human Clark, Human Clark noticing and being a little (too much) jealous about it, possessive even 👀 (or the other way around would be interesting too!)
I FREAKING LOVE THIS IDEA OMG
I ended up combining them!! this is lowkey so silly lol
you were curled up in the lap of the eight foot tall pirate entity, humming as you held one of his large hands in your own, thumbs circling over his skin, tracing mindless little patterns. he was enthralled with you, his other hand awkwardly petting the back of your hair, his one too many fingers stroking through your locks. you enjoyed moments like this, it was peaceful. he was surprisingly gentle for his size and strength and it was all just for you.
you didn't even realize clark was eyeing the both of you from around the corner, having been standing there brooding for god knows how long before he finally spoke up.
"y/n," he announced your name as he stepped out from the shadows. upon hearing his voice you craned your neck to peer at him.
"hi, clark!" you greeted him with a smile. he didn't offer you one in return, instead he appeared perturbed by something. the pirate version of himself barely regarded him, too worried with how you felt in his arms. it was like he forgot the tiny version of him was the whole reason he existed in the first place, as he always poured all of his attention into you whenever you were around.
"can i um..." clark approached, eyeing the much larger version of himself, as if he might bite him if he got too close. "can i talk to you for a second?"
"sure," you reply, shifting yourself to hop out of the giant's lap, only for his hold on you to constrict, letting out a grunt of protest. clark worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he shifted back for a moment, as if frustrated.
"oh, it's okay, i'll be right back, i promise," you reassure the pirate, cupping his large face in your hands and pressing a kiss to his malformed nose. he let out a whine as you shimmied out of his grip and wandered over to clark, who immediately grabbed your hand and practically dragged you away. he lead you into the next room over, peering over his shoulder to make sure his other self hadn't followed you both before looking into your eyes.
"hey um... i know you guys are getting along, and that's good, but uh... maybe spend a little less time with him, yeah?" clark rambled, shifting nervously on his feet. you squinted at him.
"why?" you pondered, folding your arms over your chest as you tilted your head at him. "he's so sweet."
"i dunno, it might not be good for you to be around him for that long," clark reasoned, even if he had pulled that reason straight out of his ass. you cocked an eyebrow at him.
"you've spent more time down here with him than i have," you stated. "what's this all about?"
clark appeared to lack a response, and a realization clicked in your mind.
"wait, are you... clark, are you jealous of him?" you asked, a smirk gracing your lips. clark's eyes darted around.
"...no," he replied with a huff. "what? no, i'm not, it's not that, i just think maybe your time has been, i dunno, consumed by him as all. you could be doing, y'know, other things... i mean he can't even talk! surely i'm far more interesting to be around, right?"
he gave you an almost pleading look, searching your eyes for the answer he wanted to hear.
"clark, it's okay," you patted his shoulder, and his eyes tracked your hand. "if you wanted me to spend more time with you, all you had to do was ask! there's nothing wrong with that."
you stepped closer to him, cupping his face like you had with his other self and pressing a kiss to his lips. his hands immediately flew to grasp onto your waist, holding you close.
"i still love you, dummy," you reassured him. "i'm sorry if ive been ignoring you. i just-"
you both jumped as you heard a growl come from the doorway, and you turned to see the entity peering in at you both, hunched over so he could peer at you two. you felt clark pull you closer to him, holding you as he narrowed his eyes at the entity.
"i was here first, y'know," he told the large pirate version of himself. "she's been with me longer than she's known you, so why don't you just give us a moment?"
he was oddly standoffish towards a creature that could easily tear him in half.
"clark, don't be mean to him," you pouted, softly patting clark's chest. "it hurts his feelings when you talk like that."
the creature in response let out a low moan of distress before stepping into the room and staring down at clark in an expectant manner. he then reached one of his large hands out and grabbed onto the sleeve of your shirt, giving it a gentle tug. clark in response gave him an offended look and tried prying you away from him.
"boys, please," you let out a nervous chuckle, trying to diffuse the situation before clark got his head ripped off. "don't fight over me! let's just have a truce, okay? i promise to spend an equal amount of time with both of you. or, you can both learn to tolerate each other and be around me at the same time. how's that sound?"
you glanced between both versions of your boyfriend. clark kept you firmly in place, grumbling something under his breath as he glared up at the pirate towering over both of you.
"...fine," clark replied, forcing the words out. he buried his face into your neck, still side-eyeing the pirate. "as long as you promise."
🦋whenever you go into the complex he is quick to try and find you. sometimes stuff gets moved around and rooms change, so you have trouble navigating at times, but bro was spawned there so he knows all the different routes and how to get to you. when he finds you he usually lets out an excited groan and splays his arms out expecting a hug! (please give him one, he will be very sad if you don't)
🦋he doesn't really have much to do in there aside from hunt and eat people cuz he's a hungry guy but he's not gonna hunt and eat you so he usually just ends up following you around wherever you wanna go
🦋if you have activities you like to bring into the backrooms like a book, a sketchpad, whatever it may be he will sit intently and watch you do whatever you're doing and won't move for hours, just observing you
🦋he can understand what you're saying but can't talk back so feel free to just yap whatever you like to yap about to him, he's a very good listener! (also i don't think he blinks so he's just gonna stare awkwardly at you the entire time you're talking)
🦋he's definitely collected random items from throughout the complex like couches, random chairs, the occasional pillow, and brought them all into one room for you that serves as your little makeshift bedroom (even though there's probably beds down there for you to actually sleep on)
🦋when you're tired he likes to pick you up and carry you someplace soft and lay down with you wrapped up in his long lanky arms and lets you sleep, he doesn't need sleep himself but he just likes holding you and feeling you breathe softly as you curl up against him
got done watching the backrooms movie. i really liked it actually like oh my god clark and mary make me crazy. but anyways i come on here, look the movie up, only to find people making x reader fics of the white stoner guy who had like 8 minutes of screentime. You people really would fuck a fence if it was white don't fucking piss me off
Clark has to leave reader alone with Pirate Clark for a bit and reader tries to walk away and Pirate Clark’s growls at them and holds them down :3
i made this kind of cute mb
cw// clark + pirate clark being possessive (borderline hostage situation?) suggestive themes if you squint
"just stay right here," clark told you. "i won't be long. just running up to the surface to grab some things."
"why can't i go with you?" you asked, almost pleadingly. it had been a while since you'd been outside of the complex. clark wouldn't let you leave and insisted on bringing you whatever you needed or wanted, like water and food, since you refused to eat the still lifes that lived there.
"it's... safer here," clark told you. "besides, we wouldn't wanna leave him all alone, right?"
a look of unease crossed your features as you glanced up at the pirate entity behind you. the other version of clark stood there, slightly lopsided gaze flickering between the both of you but mostly just looking at you.
"you'll be fine with him," clark reassured you, patting your arms with his hands. "i'll be right back."
he didn't allow you room to protest further before heading out, departing from the room you and his counterpart were in. you stood there awkwardly for a moment before glancing up at the pirate. he didn't follow after clark, just stayed there with you like an obedient pet. he tilted his head at you as if expecting you to do something.
"um..." you started, but trailed off when you remembered he couldn't exactly hold a conversation if you started one. even though clark told you to stay put, you were growing tired of the hum of the florescent lights above you and decided to try to follow him. you knew your way around relatively well, and it helped that he had marked the exit with blue tape.
however when you stepped forward you felt a large hand engulf your shoulder, yanking you back. you craned your neck to look up at the entity, as he gazed down at you with almost pleading eyes, as if silently asking you not to leave.
"it's fine, i'm just going to go after clark," you told him, turning on your heel once more. you were cut short however as you heard the creature growl, and you felt his large hands grip onto your arms as it flipped you around and abruptly pinned you to the floor. the impact was enough to knock the wind out of you, but not enough to seriously hurt you.
"w-what are you doing?" you stammered, blinking up at the pirate, his massive form shadowing you as it held you there. "get off me!"
it didn't listen, instead intently staring down at you, his teeth gritted as he growled at you again. your brows knitted together in frustration, your wrists pinned to the floor by his malformed hands, unable to move much.
"i wasn't going to try to escape, i was just going to follow after clark," you tried to reason, turning your head to the side so your cheek was pressed against the floor as the entity lowered his head a bit, as if sniffing you. "can you please just get off me?"
the entity didn't budge, instead lowering more of his weight onto you. not sure what he was about to do to you, you writhed, trying to squirm free, to no avail. you felt him bury his face into your neck as he settled down onto you like a giant cat. you let out a sigh of defeat, realizing you were effectively trapped between him and the floor, and he wasn't about to let you get up.
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