Potions and Pastries to make you feel safe

[potions-and-kindness]

" Alice, why did you leave wonderland”

Basic information:

🍄 Wonder 🍄 He/Fae pronouns 🍄 Host of The Decadence system 🍄 Queer as Fuck 🍄 replies and follows from @thatdecadencesystem

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BYF is as explained below,

This account is a mental health/Positivity blog. This means I will not be engaging is shipcourse. I am also radically inclusive in all queer and system matters so if you are a sysmeds or queer exclus please leave. I block as needed.

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Rules:

I am absolutely willing to spread positivity for any group that requests it or give tips on how to handle a mental illness of some kind. If I do not have said mental illness I will attempt to refer you too posts that can be more helpful than I can. Of you need some assistance or a distraction my dms are open. Please be respectful to everyone and do not attempt to trigger anyone.

[potions-and-kindness]

this is your reminder that your disability does not the person make

[newtsoftheworldunite]

celebrating the arrival of disability pride month by experiencing debilitating symptoms from my disabilities. 🫶🫶🫶

[crazycatsiren]

Every small win, like emptying the dishwasher or vacuuming one area of a room, matters when you're a disabled homemaker. The little things add up to big things and the wins become bigger.

[12u3ie]

if you have violent intrusive thoughts I love you. if you have sexual intrusive thoughts I love you. if you have bigoted intrusive thoughts I love you. you are not your thoughts and you are worthy of love and care and help and affection. you are not a monster you’re a person going through it and that’s okay

[finnslay]

A little reminder that the "scary" neurodivergents belong in the community too. The ones with intrusive thoughts. The ones who seem self-centered.

The people with ocd, bpd, npd. Stuff like that. They belong here too.

[potions-and-kindness]

I want to get a bipolar diagnosis. I’m tod that it’s too many labels, that im still learning and growing too much for that.

what about the labels that others place on me?

emotional, silly, crazy, too much are all things i’ve heard from the people i love (this is not disparagement) but what i am saying is that people will put labels on you no matter what.

the least you can do for yourself is find the labels that work for and help you because you can’t escape them

[vvolken]

"i would kill for you" "i would die for you" okay but would you forgive me if i forgot something important for the 51204th time in a row even though i tried my best to remember

[clumsybish]

[potions-and-kindness]

if you are scared you’re faking it, then you probably aren’t faking it

[fenmere]

This is something that can be elaborated upon. There really aren't any credible cases of human beings or people in general subconsciously faking something and fooling even themselves.

We've all been taught about psychosomatic conditions, and have been told that if you have one that whatever you're feeling is all in your head. That description of them is out of date and also a product of misinformation and prejudice. "Psychosomatic", by the way, has been deprecated and has been replaced with simply "somatic", because the "psycho" part has been found to be grossly misleading and inaccurate.

If you look up and thoroughly learn about somatic conditions, you'll discover a few things. One, they are primarily physiological conditions, such as high blood pressure, pain, rashes, etc. They are not psychological conditions. Two, they are very real and to be treated seriously. Three, clinical professionals are instructed to rule everything else out before they assume something is somatic (they don't typically do this, because clinical professionals are deeply flawed people, but they're supposed to).

When it comes to things like identity, gender, orientation, plurality, etc., or things like sensory processing issues and emotional dysregulation, the concept of somatic disorders does not apply. A somatic disorder is one in which a neurological state is causing a change in physiological state. If your state is purely neurological, you are experiencing that neurological state! So, for instance, if you are experiencing other people in your head talking to you and sometimes take over, you're plural!

Whatever the actual mechanism that's happening in your head to make you experience that, the word that describes it is "plural". It's not like you're experiencing a fake plurality because you're depressed about your ADHD and your subconscious is making shit up. Because even if that was the case, you'd still be plural! And if you're so dissociated that one part of you can cause another part of you to experience something that it made up with the intent of faking plurality without you realizing it, that's still plurality.

If there is anybody faking plurality, they are doing it in the same way that someone joins a play or sits down to play a role playing game. They are consciously making the choice to act like they are plural and to guess what plural people act like and imitate it.

But, you can't fake yourself into experiencing a psychological thing without it actually becoming that thing.

Or, another simpler way to put it, if your plurality is somatic then you are genuinely plural.

[potions-and-kindness]

if you are scared you’re faking it, then you probably aren’t faking it

[the-haiku-bot]

if you are scared you’re

faking it, then you probably

aren’t faking it

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[deaddovedecadence]

Thank you everyone who got me to 1000 reblogs!

[potions-and-kindness]

if you are scared you’re faking it, then you probably aren’t faking it

[the-haiku-bot]

if you are scared you’re

faking it, then you probably

aren’t faking it

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[lemonsharks]

You might have a thing similar, related, or adjacent to the thing but you're not faking the thing

[wiingdings]

on colors and being different and not being enough for yourself

(please reblog instead of liking)

[headspace-hotel]

random, but I think the way people talk about abusers as hypercompetent, calculating manipulators that Know exactly what they're doing makes it easier for people to get into abusive relationships

[teaboot]

The people who abused me prolly had no idea what the fuck they were doing. It was still bad! I still don't regret buggin out!! But I don't think they had a secret wall covered in red string linking notes like "How to fuck up this person specifically". Pretty sure they were in their own bubble the whole damn time, actually, and yeah, that does make it harder to recognize or get out of

[cloverlady]

THIS ^^^

[lymmea]

This is why I always say that in abusive relationships, intention means nothing and results mean everything. I spent so long forgiving people who treated me like shit for treating me like shit because I was convinced (and maybe I was even right, who knows) that they didn't MEAN to. Even when they refused to listen to my objections or change their behavior, it wasn't because they necessarily wanted to hurt me - it could be that I hadn't explained myself well enough, it was really hard for them to think/act differently because of trauma or circumstances, etc. And then one day I realized none of that fucking mattered, because I was being treated like shit and I was miserable. It didn't matter if that was the INTENT of their actions, that was still the RESULT, and I didn't deserve to be treated like shit no matter what was going on with them. I'm a person who deserves just as much consideration as they do, but they were the only ones being considered. The difference between "won't" and "can't" is purely academic. Whether they won't or can't treat you better, you can and should go find people who will. No one is entitled to your suffering for their shitty behavior, or to have relationships they don't properly maintain.

[theroundbartable]

As someone who received their personal trauma through other children my own age (i was like 8 or something), this is so important.

People sometimes don't know better. But if they don't change, if they keep abusing you, keep blaming you for their own mistakes and make you feel dumb about everything you do, then you, as a Person yourself, can never make it right with them.

Set your lines. Warn people of those lines and make them pay the consequences, when they cross them. Even if you lose them or make them angry. You're a person too and they do not own you.

It took me 15 years to recognise that I didn't HAVE lines. That the few ones I had were too close for comfort and made me aggressive as hell when toed.

It is the people who don't know better that will hurt you the most. And those who won't change their behavior for you, are the most dangerous ones.

Stay safe.

[invisiblefoxfire]

The following conversation was the thing to finally get me out of a really abusive relationship.

"He really doesn't know any better. He's been mistreated his whole life. It's not his fault he's like this."

"Maybe. But it's not your fault either. You can't fix him. You staying while he treats you this way is hurting you and it's not helping him. Either you stay and be mistreated while both your lives fall apart forever, or you wish him the best and walk away. It doesn't matter whose fault it is."

[etherealspacejelly]

sometimes you just have to let yourself be a bit neurodivergent.

i hate going out, it gives me a lot of anxiety and sensory input that i dont like, and i am often forced to talk to people.

so i do this thing on more difficult days, or sometimes just for fun, where i "bring a fictional character with me". i walk and imagine Fictional Character walking next to me. they talk to me, reassure me, hype me up, whatever i need them to do.

today dean winchester came christmas shopping with me. he went over the list with me of stuff i needed to get, told me i was doing a good job every time i finished in a certain shop, reminded me to take a deep breath when i got a little overwhelmed.

and yea. its kinda silly. and i know its just me talking to myself in a different voice, but it Works! especially since all of my special interests/hyperfixations tend to be tv/movie related.

so do what you gotta do to Get Shit Done. stop holding yourself to neurotypical standards. if you need Fictional Character to tell you you're doing a good job, do it! if you need Favourite Singer to walk you to school, do it! yea it might feel silly but you're literally fighting against your own brain to get stuff done every single day. you can have a little self indulgent daydream, as a treat.

[ohara-n-brown]

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

[potions-and-kindness]

i love you people with Dermatillomania and yes i mean the person who’s relapsing yes i mean the person who doesn’t pick anymore, yes i mean the person who picks til their bloody, yes i mean you, you are loved, i promise