//Slytherbitch//

I stan Drarry and you should too.

[potterheadsnake]

What if..

Draco: Potter isn't here yet and its 10:02, he's normally walking through this hallway by 10:01. What if something happened to him?

Blaise: Stop being so paranoid, maybe he woke up late

Draco: Oh no. What if he ran away? What if he died? What if that muggle family took him back and locked him up in their house? If I don't see him, how on earth am I supposed to show him I love him?

Blaise: Well there's Potter now!

Draco: QUICK PRETEND LIKE I DIDN'T SEE HIM AND WE'RE JUST CASUALLY TALKING

Harry: Ugh. Move out of the way Malfoy.

Draco: Well, if it isn't Potter with his dweeb friends walking down the hallway. Why don't you go back to that muggle family since nobody wants you here, maybe they'll lock you up under the stairs again.

Harry: *walks away*

Blaise: HOW ON EARTH IS THAT SUPPOSED TO SHOW HIM THAT YOU LOVE HIM!

Draco: idk but he comes crawling back every time.

[potterheadsnake]

I swear to Merlin

Harry: I swear to Merlin, I am going to kill you Hermione if you tell Draco that I w-

Draco: Tell me what...*smirks*

Harry: Um- tha- uh that I love you so much *fakes a smile*

Draco: Well I already knew that but thanks for telling me *walks away*

Hermione: What's so bad about telling him that you watch him sleep? *smirks*

Harry: Well the fact that I sneak into his room in the middle of the night is bad enough.

[potterheadsnake]

Draco: our anniversary is coming up!

Harry: what anniversary?

Draco:

Harry: ohhhhh is it our ‘sorry I never accepted your friendship offer on our first day at Hogwarts’ anniversary?

Draco: no you dimwit it’s our wedding anniversary.

[potterheadsnake]

Harry: DRACO LOOK THEY HAVE A SLIDE!

Draco: Merlin, why am I in love with a damn child?

Harry, going down the slide: wheeeeee

Draco, disappointed: He’s 20 for goodness sake. Merlin send me your guidance.

[potterheadsnake]

Draco: harry don’t you dare…

Harry, takes a step closer to candy store: watch me

Draco: I swear to Merlin I will drag you if you take another step

Harry, sprints inside candy store:

Draco: damn it

[potterheadsnake]

Draco: what the fuck is happening?

Harry, casually lying outside in a thong: someone told me I was too pale so I’m trying to tan.

Draco: if you’re considered too pale then what the fuck am I?

[potterheadsnake]

Harry: why am I so unloved?

Draco: YoU? UnLoVEd? EvERyOnE LoVeS YOu! YoURe ThE BOy ThAT LiVed WhAT tHe FuCk! YoU DeFEatEd VolDeMoRt FoR MeRlIN’s SaKe!

Harry: jeez do you have some daddy issues?

[potterheadsnake]

Harry: ok so I want our children to have my color hair but your eyes. I was thinking that it would be best if we had one boy and one girl. And I was thinking that it would be best if I’m the one carrying the first child, I don’t think you’d do good at being pregnant.

Draco: babe it doesn’t work like that.

[potterheadsnake]

Draco: what idiot wrote this

Harry: gosh people are so dumb

Draco: it was you wasn’t it?

Harry: yep

Draco: I’m not surprised.

[potterheadsnake]

Harry: If i jum-

Draco, instantly: no

Harry: If I jumped off the gryf-

Draco: I already told you, no.

Harry, thinking:

Draco: Don’t even bother thinking, the answer is no.

[blaccwitch]

Harry: youre making me lose my mind

Draco: pssshht. You cant lose what you never had

[daddiesdrarryy]

Harry: Sorry I just farted

Draco: Can you be less crude with your words?

Harry: Okay, sorry I just coughed through my arsehole

Draco *sigh*: …

[hisshisssssss]

Harry: can I borrow your pen Draco?

Draco: here you go

Harry: thanks

Harry: uhm… Draco? I think this pen is broken

Draco: what? I just used it 5 mins ago

Harry: yeah i dont know. Its broken

Draco: thats weird, it worked normally 5 mins ago

Harry: how about you write your phone number into my paper so we can see if its broken or not

Draco: yeah su-

Draco:

Draco: *smacks Harry’s head*

[inkpotter-deactivated20211125]

lucius: draco, have you been practicing horrendous acts of homosexuality?

draco: WHAT?! dad, how DARE you make that accusation?!

lucius: oh thank merlin i thought-

draco: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THINK I STILL HAVE TO PRACTICE

[potterheadsnake]

Harry: we’re going on a double date with Ron and Hermione. Get ready.

Draco: what’s with the sour attitude? Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Harry: I don’t want to talk about it.

Draco: what happened?

Harry:

Draco: tell me.

Harry, about to cry: th-they killed off my favorite character!

[potterheadsnake]

Draco: Potter, who’s Harry Styles and why do you have his picture on your wall?

Harry: oh he’s my husband.

Draco: then what the fuck am I?

Harry: my side bitch

Draco:

Harry:

Draco: Potter, I swear to Merlin if I catch you cheating, I’m breaking up with you.

Harry: that’s fine since I still have Harry Styles.

Draco: POTTER!

[potterheadsnake]

Blaise: Draco

Draco:

Blaise: Draco

Draco, stares blankly at wall:

Blaise: OH MY GOSH HARRY IS WALKING THIS WAY

Draco: WHERE? DO I LOOK OKAY? BLAISE WHERE IS HE?

Blaise: hmm? He’s not here, I was just trying to get your attention. So, did you watch the quidditch game yesterday?

Draco: oh haha