IM BACK! ✨🙇🏻♀️
I know lately I’ve been absent from my socials. And I’m preparing a content to talk a bit about this with open heart! I needed some time and that’s it. It was refreshing and so good for my mental health.
Briefly speaking, I was again entering on a exhaustion on making art everyday. And constantly doing it was turning really harmful for me. I was starting to get anxious, and with that a burned out sensation was starting to grow. And for a person that had a burn out stress over and over again, we start to be expert on this topic (sadly). After realizing that I might have a mental break over it I stepped back and took a time off. (Still was doing commissions)
Well, that’s it!
Hope you guys like this Sirius Black… kind of representing a bit of my art frustrations! 😂 and hope you guys don’t abandon me yet!
ok so, I can't, like, set a precedent for every time there is a catastrophic event in my country I post a TLE spoiler because let's be real, that's gonna be every day for the next four years at least and I only have so many non-major-spoilery TLE bits to share. But I'm making my way through an emergency bottle of prosecco and texting my friends about how in the face of the endless onslaught of late stage capitalism, fanfic -- a community built purely around love and joy and not a single drop of money being exchanged -- is in a small way something radical and precious and dare I say holy (did I mention I was drunk) and that should be honored on today of all fucking days, and ALSO we should all spend less time staring at gifs of that evil-ass motherfucker doing nazi salutes and more time crafting joy and creating community with each other so
here is a lil snippet from TLE3
as with all my spoiler snippets, I reserve the right to completely rewrite this before the final draft because honestly this was mostly an exercise in me learning how to craft sentences again mid-burnout, but!!!! here, have a lil moment of joy, maybe. i love you.
Excerpt from The Last Enemy: Marauders’ End
“So, what do you think?”
Sirius turned expectantly to his best mate, who stood beside him as the boys peered through the doorway of Sirius’s second bedroom. The room had been unoccupied at the time of Sirius moving into this flat a few weeks ago. Now…it decidedly was not.
“Er…” said James, who did not quite seem to know how to answer the question.
“Her name is Lola,” Sirius added in a reverent tone.
“She has a name, does she?”
“Of course she has a name, you pig.”
“Right,” said James. “Well, then frankly, I’m a bit hurt you moved out and left me for Lola.”
Sirius knocked his shoulder against James’s. “Come on. I didn’t leave you. We’ve been over this. I’m of age, I was going to have to get my own place eventually.”
“Yeah, okay, sure, but you barely made it a month before you shacked up with your new flatmate, Lola.”
Sirius grinned. “She’s sexy, isn’t she?”
“She’s…very shiny.”
“She’s the goddamn love of my life.”
“Okay, ‘she’ is a motorbike, mate. You’ve gone completely batty.”
Sirius laughed and strode further into the room where indeed the Muggle motorbike had been set up, dominating the space. It was a thing of beauty, all sleek lines and silver glint. The floor around the motorbike was haloed with the detritus of Sirius’s last few delicious days: all sorts of mechanical bits and bobs, empty beer bottles, an ashtray, a crumpled up bag of crisps, a few oily rags, and a confusion of Muggle tools, the names of which Sirius kept mixing up — a socket wrench, he thought that one was called. The spare bed that had once been the primary feature of this room — a springy mattress James had transfigured for the nights he was too pissed to apparate home (“Mum won’t mind, she put the security spells on your flat herself.”) — had been shoved into the corner to make room for this new sacred altar.
James did not seem as impressed with Sirius’s new acquisition as he felt his friend ought to be. “You’re just jealous,” Sirius told him, “that you’ve never known a love so true.”
“Ha. Touché.”
Sirius pulled a rag from his back pocket and began to lovingly polish a spot on the seat of the motorbike.
“You know,” said James, still observing from his post at the doorway, “I’m not sure it’s healthy, you spending so much time by yourself.”
“What time by myself?” laughed Sirius. “You’re here almost every day.”
This was true. Hardly a day had passed so far this summer that James hadn’t found a reason to come by. Not that Sirius minded. Though he’d never admit it, he liked living on his own rather less than he’d expected.
“Yeah, well…” James strode closer to inspect the motorbike. “Someone has to make sure you don’t go completely bonkers, all on your own here. Lola, I ask you. You know, if you start talking to the bike, mate, I’m hauling you off to St. Mungo’s too.”
Sirius leaned down and whispered to the handlebars: “Don’t listen to the mean man, Lola. I’d never leave you.”
James sat down on the spare bed with a mournful creak. “Besides,” he said, “Potter House is too quiet now, with you gone and dad all…entombed. Some days I think if I don’t get out, I’m the one who will go bonkers.”
Sirius turned back to his friend, suddenly somber. “Hey, you know I’m just joking, right? You’re always welcome over here. I love having you here.”
“Yeah,” said James, though the faintest tint of melancholy compromised his credulity. Sirius watched as James plucked an oil-stained rag from the bed, sniffed it, then tossed it aside with a wrinkled nose.
“How are things…?” Sirius ventured. “With your dad?” Fleamont Potter’s health had been in steady decline for years, but last Christmas things had taken a turn for the worse. The diagnosis seemed to be simply that he was old…though Sirius had a hard time wrapping his head around that. “Have things gotten any better?”
“No,” said James shortly. “And they’re not going to. It is what it is.” He glared at the wall for a brief moment, then sighed — a deep, intentional sigh, as though exhaling all his miseries in order to transform himself back to Sirius’s good-natured friend. “So…does she work?”
“The fuck d’you mean, ‘does she work?’”
“Well,” said James, “it hasn’t escaped my notice that the bike is in your spare bedroom, rather than, say, on the street. So either you and Lola have a far kinkier relationship than I care to know about…or she doesn’t work.”
A pause.
“She’s a work in progress, okay?”
“Knew it,” grinned James.
“Hey, have some respect,” said Sirius. “I’m fixing her up myself. It’s far cooler than just buying some shiny toy from a shop. This is my bike. Mine. I’ll make her fly, just you wait.” He stroked the bike handle. “Isn’t that right, Lola?”
Exasperated yelps and swears followed him as he darted through the haphazard collection of desks and chairs, though he paid little mind to the frustrated people in his wake. He was going to get an earful when he finally arrived where he was expected to be nearly a quarter of an hour ago. But the key to making it for that earful was to not impale himself on the end of a table or decapitate himself by mistakenly running into the flock of memos soaring around the office.
(He wasn’t truly worried about doing such a thing, as he’d never heard of such a gruesome injury in his three decades of life, but that didn’t mean he wanted to make it in the records as the first. Sirius would never let him hear the end of it once he finally joined James in the afterlife.)
The meeting had to be happening in the boardroom at the furthest end of the building, of course. When he finally skidded to a halt in front of the closed mahogany door, he took a moment to compose himself, slipping quick fingers down the front of his robes and then through the tangle of curls atop his head. As quietly as he could, he pressed open the door and slipped inside the room.
the way you left me by @possessingtheproperspirit [Jily, M, angst/grief/loss. Oneshot. 2021].
Summary: At nineteen, James vanishes, and Lily breaks.
*Note from author: Based loosely on the prompt "au where james leaves one night to keep the lily safe and is assumed dead but returns to lily when the war is over to find she is ‘engaged’ to someone else."
Not going to lie, this one hurts, but it's sooo well written. It makes you feel everything. And...let's not forget there's light at the end of the tunnel. 💔🩹😌
She was there, staring into infinity and finding herself staring back.
With the stars shining, the painting came alive, shimmering and sparkling and bouncing its brilliance around the room[...] With a gasp, Lily noticed the dots of light reflected onto her dress, her arms, the glare catching in her eye. Like a disco ball, the painting scattered its light. She looked down at herself and saw that she was made of starlight.
Who Knows Who Cares, Chapter 17
She was there, staring into infinity and finding herself staring back.
With the stars shining, the painting came alive, shimmering and sparkling and bouncing its brilliance around the room[...] With a gasp, Lily noticed the dots of light reflected onto her dress, her arms, the glare catching in her eye. Like a disco ball, the painting scattered its light. She looked down at herself and saw that she was made of starlight.
Who Knows Who Cares, Chapter 17
He clears his throat, stopping his hand from slipping through his hair. "Yeah… I erm—we've been going out for a couple of weeks."
"You are dating?" Lily asks, setting her drink down; it sloshes over the side. "Oh. I hadn't realized you were dating her, I thought only…" She lets her voice trail away as she gives a vague wave of her hand.
"Ah, yes. Sort of giving this boyfriend thing a go."
He was about to go home, about to return to the place where he had had a family […] The life he had lost had hardly ever seemed so real to him as at this moment, when he knew he was about to see the place where it had been taken from him. (chapter 16, dh)
james potter denying that he has any feelings for lily evans when the entire common room has seen him literally squeal and jump out of joy after every interaction with her.
“After hours of worry, she had finally drifted to sleep, cradling her stomach with one hand and petting the tip of his ear with the other. He laid his head on her stomach, hoping, praying, to hear the door open and James to appear like he promised. The alternative is not an option. He closes his eyes and focuses on the sound of Lily's breath, straining to hear not one but two heartbeats coming from her center.”
Quote from this post by @yallthemwitches (to whom I therefore owe a special thank).
she had a goal to discover all of his little secrets.
-
James: Can I kiss you?
Lily: I like to do this in a more private place, not here…
James: Oh if only I had a map to take you to all secluded places of this old castle…
Lily: It would make me so impressed… that I would kiss you right now…
James: I’m not a genius, unfortunately…
Lily: and will probably snog me in a broom closet, which is so original.
Marauders @pottributeinidris - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
snowghoul
vaporwave
2087
discoholicmusic
kianamaiart
dededos
romaincrisis
janainaart
