Wah

One reblog and I blow this place up

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At some point it’s just like whatevaaaa yk

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If you still drink Starbucks we are fundamentally different people on a plethora of levels and I don’t respect you

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Me and who

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Yay

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A good peek into my psyche is the fact that after my second suicide attempt I kinda had a come to Jesus moment where I was like “Hey. Clearly you aren’t good at this and now it’s just embarrassing. Let’s move on.”

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Flow state 🙏

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I’ve been living with a massive fly for about a week now. I tried to kill him the first day but then it grew into a Tom and Jerry type of situation. I’ve grown quite endeared to him. He was trying to get out of my windows today so I opened them to try and help him out but he’s super stupid. Anyways I found myself making kissing noises at it like you would a cat to get him to come to me. There’s a chance he is now my pet

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Can’t find him but I think he’s dead </3

[poutery]

I’ve been living with a massive fly for about a week now. I tried to kill him the first day but then it grew into a Tom and Jerry type of situation. I’ve grown quite endeared to him. He was trying to get out of my windows today so I opened them to try and help him out but he’s super stupid. Anyways I found myself making kissing noises at it like you would a cat to get him to come to me. There’s a chance he is now my pet

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A gun would not be sufficient

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Hello? Someone is gonna die?

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If you speed up SLIGHTLY to get around me on the sidewalk and then slow me down I swear I will make us both so goddamn uncomfortable you want to tear your skin off

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Similarly, if you choose to have your head down, tap tap tapping on your phone while getting on and off the train, I will body check you into next Tuesday

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Finally (for tonight) if you park it right in front of the doors instead of moving to the middle of the train car, I will reserve you a seat in hell at my right hand and I will spend every day for the rest of eternity picking every hair off your body follicle by follicle

[poutery]

If you speed up SLIGHTLY to get around me on the sidewalk and then slow me down I swear I will make us both so goddamn uncomfortable you want to tear your skin off

[poutery]

Similarly, if you choose to have your head down, tap tap tapping on your phone while getting on and off the train, I will body check you into next Tuesday

[poutery]

If you speed up SLIGHTLY to get around me on the sidewalk and then slow me down I swear I will make us both so goddamn uncomfortable you want to tear your skin off

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I just interviewed a candidate who’s top 5% in her class at H*rvard. 3.95 GPA. In what world should I be interviewing someone like that. But also like obsessed with her she served. Women are very cool!

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The only thing I ingested yesterday was beer and a cheesesteak and I’d do it again because look at her