STARRY EYES | theodore nott
summary: yearner theo shoots his shot… will he ball or will he flop?
author's note: thank u so much @puddlesoffrogs for the request i hope i did it justice! y’all let me know if you want a part two ;) i have some good ideas for it buttt would need to flesh it out a bit so just lmk if it’s something u would want to see!
Ever since you watched Pansy Parkinson launch herself at Draco Malfoy for calling you a mudblood during your first year of Hogwarts, you’ve attached yourself to her hip. She didn’t exactly want you around at first, because being a friend of yours made her a target. But soon enough, you had unknowingly charmed Pansy with your sweet, almost innocent personality, and she quickly grew quite fond of you.
Pansy had never been the type of girl to not speak her mind. This was something that you realized within seconds of meeting her. Even in the most awkward or emotionally charged situations, she never held back her true feelings or thoughts. You looked up to her and thought of her as your own older sister. Of course, that came with her teasing you nonstop, although always from a place of love.
You like to think that you balance her out, even now, six years later with her in her final year of school and you one year behind. Pansy talks, and you listen. That’s how it has always been. You can’t even imagine what your last year of school will look like without your best friend by your side.
“He’s always annoying me, trying to ‘demand’ I go out with him or something.” You and Pansy are currently sprawled across her bed, legs dangling off the side with your head laid on her stomach. Your head moves slightly with each of her words, and you should find it annoying, but there’s something comforting about the physical closeness.
“Do you have to talk with your mouth full?” You ask with a tone of faux irritation, laughing when Pansy tugs on your ear. “You know Draco has liked you since forever, Pans.”
She scoffs, continuing to munch away on muffins that she had somehow snuck in. “His ego is way too big. And plus, he was such an asshole to you.”
You prop yourself up with your elbow, watching Pansy with soft eyes. “That was six years ago. I let it go a long time ago. He’s changed.”
“That’s because you are way too forgiving, babes.” Pansy scoffs, her eyes narrowing just at the thought of Draco being mean to you, even though he was obviously just a young boy going through a lot of shit. It’s not like you forgave him easily, though. He spent the entirety of fourth and fifth year trying to make it up to you. “Plus, you know about me and Hermione.”
“Ah, yes, your secret relationship,” you muse, a teasing smile on your face. “I’m kinda the only one who knows. You can’t blame Draco for shooting his shot, well, at least once a day.” You giggle when Pansy makes a disgusted face. Her teeth are stained brown from the chocolate muffins, and there are crumbs across the lower half of her face, but she’s never looked more beautiful to you.
“I love you,” Pansy sighs, mimicking your pose to be eye level with you. “I’m not ready to graduate. I can’t leave you,” she whines, shoving your shoulder as if it’s your fault you’re a year younger than her.
“Don’t remind me,” you answer sadly, your smile drooping into a sadder one. The weight of her graduation remains heavy on your shoulders. It physically hurts to think about your life without Pansy constantly talking your ear off about the 30 different things that have managed to annoy her in the span of a day.
“Actually, that reminds me,” Pansy says suddenly, her eyes lighting up at whatever prospect just appeared in her mind. “Blaise told me the group is getting together tonight. You know, to celebrate graduation.”
You snicker softly, shaking your head in disbelief. “You guys do realize that you’re graduating in a few months, right? You’re celebrating a little too early.”
“Oh, but you know Enzo. He never misses a chance to liven up the common room a bit.” You groan, letting yourself fall back onto Pansy’s bed, staring at the canopy above.
It’s as if she can sense your discomfort. She pokes your cheek, pouting slightly at your lack of enthusiasm. “Come on, you’ll come. For me? It’s only one night.”
You grimace, already mentally preparing yourself to sit there quietly for the entire night. “Shouldn’t I be hanging out with people my own age?” you ask quietly, as a last ditch effort to try and get her off your back.
Pansy pinches your cheek instead of poking it. “Oh, shut it. We’re one year older, for Merlin’s sake. And they’re your friends too.”
“Barely,” you grumble, but you know that there isn’t any way in hell you’d make Pansy upset over something so avoidable. “Fine. I’ll be there.”
“I think it’s time to just give it up.” Theodore receives a pillow to the face at that comment. “Ow- what the hell was that for?”
“You are a such a fucking pussy,” Mattheo drawls. Normally, that wouldn’t have pissed Theodore off, but the sight of Blaise snickering on his bed while he pretends to read a book ticks him off.
“And you’re annoying,” Theodore spits out, shoving Mattheo to the side so he has space to lay on his own bed. Out of sheer habit, he opens the drawer of his bedside table, taking out a cigarette. He fumbles for his lighter, but Mattheo snatches it out of his hand.
Theodore glares. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Save that for tonight, loverboy,” Mattheo muses, laughing as Theodore seemingly tries to kill him with just his gaze. “Come on, why give up now? It’s been two years of you doing literally nothing at all, for Merlin’s sake. Now’s the perfect time.”
“We’re graduating in three months.” Theodore grabs the pillow next to him and uses it to cover his face. He wants to scream into it, to let out the pain and discomfort that’s been tearing his heart apart ever since he decided he had to have you one way or another. “What’s even the point?”
Mattheo grabs the pillow from his grasp, tossing it onto the floor. “It’s not like you’re moving half way across the world. You’ll be in London. You can still visit her. A lot.” Theodore says nothing; he simply stares blankly at the ceiling, his arms falling beside him.
“Come on, Blaise. Back me up,” Mattheo calls out.
Blaise doesn’t even look up from his book as he responds. “I dunno, mate. It’s not like Theo has the balls to make a move.”
That comment makes Theodore scoff. “If you guys are trying to ragebait me into doing something, it’s not going to work.” Despite his words, he can feel his fingers twitching by his side, itching for the sweet relief of nicotine to relax the pressure of needing to do something, to at least tell you how he feels, to at least make it known to someone other than his best mates that he fell in love with you over the course of six years.
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of Pansy, are you?” Mattheo asks.
“No, Merlin knows I’m not.” That could be a small lie. It’s awfully hard to approach you when you have somewhat of a guard dog beside you at all times.
“But okay, tell me this.” Theodore gets off his bed, beginning to pace the room, hands in his hair as he tries to calm himself down. “Has anyone other than Pansy fucking Parkinson ever had a conversation with her that has lasted more than a few minutes? No? That’s what I thought.”
“Can you stop fucking pacing, mate? It’s distracting.” Blaise tosses his book at Theodore, and it hits his side, but he doesn’t even react. He’s too busy trying not to hex himself into his next life so he doesn’t have to stress about this anymore.
“I’m being serious. How am I supposed to get her to like me, or even acknowledge me, if I can’t even talk to her. How?”
“Oi.” Mattheo’s voice snaps him back to reality, and Theodore whirls around to face him, his hands finally dropping to his side. “You need to relax, Theo. Like seriously.”
Theodore groans, his head falling into his hands. “Do we have to talk about this?”
“Listen,” Blaise starts. “Pansy told me she’s forcing her to come hang out with us tonight. When Pansy’s being her usual loud and annoying self, just make your move then. Your girl is always quiet, off to the side. Who knows? She might enjoy someone other than Pansy talking to her.”
Theodore’s eyes widen. Mattheo whistles, patting Blaise on the back. “Yo. Good shit, mate.”
Blaise shrugs like it’s nothing. “How do you think I got Luna to fall for me, you assholes?”
Theodore snickers. “We still don’t know to this day, mate.”
You wince as Pansy practically attacks you when you walk down the stairs to the common room, your hands immediately finding her arms to stabilize both her and yourself.
“You reek of cigarettes, you know that?” Pansy returns your comment with a simple eyeroll, grabbing your hand to drag you toward the couches by the fireplace.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” Mattheo drawls, a smirk adorning his face as you stand (hide) behind Pansy, giving everyone a small smile and a quick wave.
“Oh shut it and leave her alone, Riddle,” Pansy retorts, returning to her original seat on a couch closest to the fire. Naturally, you slide in next to her, Draco to your right with Pansy to your left. Lorenzo, Theodore, and Mattheo sit on the couch opposite of you, with Blaise situated on the floor with his back to the fire.
You shift uncomfortably; everyone seems to be looking at you, for some reason. You look to Pansy for help, and of course, ever your savior, she launches back into whatever conversation they were previously having. Something about Professor Snape being especially broody lately.
The night passes quickly for most, but slowly for you. You spend most of the time laying your head on Pansy’s shoulder, smiling softly at Enzo’s random jokes and Draco’s flirtatious comments. When the joint gets passed around to you, you find yourself actually accepting it, laughing when Draco raises his eyebrow.
Eventually, the conversation naturally drifts into smaller groups. Pansy gets distracted arguing with Mattheo and Blaise over something ridiculous. Draco and Enzo are huddled to the side, their whispers looking more like gossip as their bodies shake with hidden laughter. You have the couch all to yourself now, your head leaned to rest on the back, your hands fidgeting in your lap as you admire the ceiling. You’re so relaxed to the point where you can feel your body dip lower and lower into the couch, inch by inch.
You can actually feel yourself drifting off before the spot next to you on the couch dips. “Pans.” Her name automatically rolls off your tongue, your eyes fluttering open. “I’m so hungry. Like, I would kill someone for a milkshake right now.”
“Well, I hope I’m not your victim of choice, then.” You gasp, immediately moving your head up and to the side.
“Oh,” you whisper breathlessly, stupidly, your eyes wide as you realize you’re face to face with none other than Theodore Nott, a man you’ve exchanged maybe a total of 20 words with over the span of six years.
He stifles a laugh, and you feel like letting the ground swallow you whole. “Sorry,” you manage to squeak out, your gaze falling down to your hands in your lap.
“Don’t be,” Theodore murmurs, and his voice is smooth and almost velvety, so unlike anything you’ve ever heard him sound like before. It’s such a stark difference to the way he’ll banter with Mattheo or insult Draco. You’re surprised he even has the ability to sound so… friendly.
“I know a way to get you that milkshake without committing any acts of murder, if you’re interested,” he muses, trying to hide his smirk behind his hand but absolutely failing.
You can feel your face flush with embarrassment, yet you will yourself to look up at him. “I… um.” You hesitate, but all of a sudden it’s like Pansy has infiltrated your mind, her voice screaming at you to branch out, to be more open. Plus, you are really hungry anyway, so what’s the worst that could happen?
You steel your nerves, sitting up straighter as if your posture will somehow provide you with more courage. “I’m interested.”
Theodore smiles and you swear you can feel your heart fall out of your chest. He cocks his head towards the exit, as if beckoning you to follow him. “Don’t be too obvious, or I’ll never hear the end of it from your girlfriend.”
You giggle, glancing towards Pansy quickly, and once you see she’s still engrossed in her argument, you stand up along with him. What you miss as the two of you walk out is the glance Theodore throws behind him right before he leaves the room. Mattheo smirks, and Theodore returns the look. Smooth.
“So, what is this bright idea of yours?” you mutter, glancing around the corridors as the two of you walk side by side. You, oddly enough, are a bit scared of getting caught out after curfew; you’re usually not. Although the feeling of nervousness could also possibly be attributed to the terrifyingly charming boy walking next to you.
Theodore slides his hands into his pockets, a calm look on his face despite the raging onslaught of emotions he’s currently experiencing. “House-elves owe me a favor.”
You raise an eyebrow, pleasantly surprised by his answer. “Do tell.”
Theodore laughs, following you down the stairs to the kitchens. “Some things are best left unsaid, darling.”
Your insides flood with warmth. You’re eternally grateful that Theodore can’t see the blush that has most definitely bloomed on your face.
He takes your silence as rejection and quickly backtracks. “I-I’m sorry. That was way out of line.”
“No,” you start quietly, looking at him once the two of you reach the bottom of the stairs. “It’s… it’s fine.” You don’t elaborate, quickly walking to the painting of a bowl of fruit. “Just tickle the damn thing. I’m hungry.”
Theodore snorts. “Didn’t realize you were so bossy.”
“Usually not,” you admit, watching as Theodore gets out his wand to perform the spell. You’ve not only surprised Theodore with your behavior, but also yourself; it’s true that you aren’t usually this open around new people. You assume it has something to do with the joint you accepted from Draco. How fitting.
“Are you sure this is okay?” you whisper as Theodore shuts the painting door behind you, glancing around the kitchens to see only a few house elves still cleaning up the place.
“Don’t worry, principessa. I wouldn’t take you here unless I knew for certain it would be alright.” You turn behind you to witness Theodore giving you a reassuring grin, and you return it with a shy smile and a brief glance. He thinks he could die right now and remain happy for eternity.
You lean against the wall, simply watching as Theodore squats down to murmur something in a house elf’s ear. Five minutes later, you’re sipping on a strawberry milkshake, roaming the halls back toward the common room.
“Thanks a lot. For this.” You gesture towards the milkshake, laughing when Theodore tries to wave it off.
“It’s no big deal,” he replies, and his tone is filled with such warmth that you can feel pooling in your stomach.
“So, what’s your favorite class this year?” Theodore asks, watching you sip happily. It’s painfully obvious that he’s trying to start a conversation, and you find it mildly entertaining that this is your first time getting to know him after six entire years.
“Probably Care of Magical Creatures.” You see Theodore’s eyebrow raise in the corner of your eye. “Don’t start,” you warn. “That class isn’t only reserved for Hufflepuffs, you know.”
Theodore raises his hands in mock surrender. “You really are feisty.” You shake your head to try and hide the smile on your face. “What’s your favorite creature, then?”
“Definitely kneazles. They remind me of my cat back home.” You raise a hand to your mouth, eyes widening as you realize you are willingly sharing personal information about yourself to someone other than Pansy. You curse under your breath; you’re not sure what to do with yourself. You’ve never acted this way around new people before. You haven’t even acted like this around people you’ve known forever.
You glance towards Theodore, expecting him to mock or tease you like anyone else would after finding out your favorite class is coddling creatures. Your heart climbs into your throat when you turn your head to find him looking at you with eyes full of curiosity and genuine intrigue.
“I, uh…” you start, trailing off as you try and think of what to say. “I have a tabby back home. I’m not sure if you’re familiar?”
Theodore nods thoughtfully. “They have stripes, right? With a sort of ‘M’ shape on their forehead?”
“Uh, yeah,” you respond a bit too breathlessly for your liking. You clear your throat, quickly turning away to take another sip of your milkshake to try and distract yourself from the fact that you are walking around, alone, with a terribly handsome and attentive man. You don’t know how you only now started to realize this fact.
Theodore laughs at your reaction, and you melt. “It can’t be that funny,” you murmur, huffing as you look away.
“It’s only mildly amusing,” he teases, and you realize you need the conversation to turn away from this sort of banter or you might actually faint.
Thankfully, Theodore seems to read your mind. “I noticed you reading in the common room the other day.” He says it so nonchalantly, like it means nothing, like you shouldn’t read into it. So you don’t. But you can’t stop your traitorous heart from doing a flip in your chest. “What book?”
“It’s just some stupid muggle book,” you murmur, tugging on your sleeve almost anxiously.
It’s like Theodore can read you perfectly. “You don’t need to be shy. I’m not going to judge you. I might even take your recommendation.” He smiles at you, and you can’t help but notice the way his eyes crinkle at the edges, and how his lips are slightly chapped, and how his hair is perfectly tousled, and–
You clear your throat once again. “Have you heard of The Kite Runner?” Theodore shakes his head as a no. “It’s a historical fiction novel. It’s the only book that’s ever made me cry,” you admit, and once again, you’re surprised at yourself for even bringing it up.
“Well then, it seems like I’ll have to check it out,” Theodore muses, and you return his smile.
The two of you talk and talk until you end up reaching the entrance to the common room. You find yourself actually feeling a bit disappointed as the two of you reach the dungeons. It amazes you that you’ve been talking to someone other than Pansy for more than 30 minutes. It’s so easy to talk to Theodore because he’s actually listening.
You are honestly and truly scared of your treacherous heart, for the way it stops when he looks at you, or the way it beats faster when he teases you. You’re not sure how you’ve managed to ignore this man’s existence for six whole years. It feels like you’ve wasted them all.
You turn around once you reach the entrance to the common room, surprised when Theodore doesn’t follow. “You okay?” you ask softly, letting your hand drift from the stone wall. He says nothing while looking at you, deep in thought. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears, and you swallow heavily.
“I’m not quite sure how to say this, but I…” Theodore trails off, looking nervous for the first time since you’ve known him. He looks almost cute, yet you immediately dismiss the thought.
“I’m interested in you.” Your mouth falls open. You almost drop your milkshake glass. “And I have been for… a long time now.”
You say nothing. You are physically incapable of movement. Your mind is screaming at your body to do something, to say something, anything. With a wand to your head, you probably still wouldn’t be able to even twitch a muscle.
“If you want, I’d like it if we could keep walking around. And talking.” Theodore reaches his hand out slowly, giving you time to pull away, and grabs your wrist softly when you don’t. Your breath hitches as he makes contact with you, and you’re so overwhelmed and confused and flattered that you can’t even think. Your vision swims. His thumb traces circles onto your skin and the sensation is akin to fire spreading across your body.
“There’s no way you like me,” you reply dumbly, eyes wide open as you gaze up at him. He looks so unguarded, so vulnerable, that it makes you want to do the same.
“There actually are many ways, and I’m living them all,” he murmurs, his eyes drifting down towards your lips before moving back up.
“I–” You’re interrupted by the sound of stone shifting behind you. You immediately yank your hand out of Theodore’s grasp, and you only briefly witness the hurt look on his face before you turn around.
“Pansy?” You say in disbelief, mouth falling open now for a completely different reason as she collapses onto you.
“I was looking for you, babes!” Pansy looks at you before looking at Theodore by your side, her eyebrows furrowing. “You’re with… him? Just him?”
You try to hide your snicker as you shoot Theodore a look. He only smirks in response, shaking his head. “I, uh…” you raise your hand with the glass in it. “Milkshake,” you put simply.
“Ohhhkay then,” Pansy mumbles, grabbing your hand to drag you back inside. “C’mon, we’re playing truth or dare and you have to play with us. No excuses this time.”
Somehow, Theodore is able to masterfully act like nothing happened, playing the trivial game with ease. However, you know that there is no way in hell that you will be able to concentrate with Theodore sitting right in front of you, his words echoing in your head nonstop as you stare blankly into the distance.
You eventually find yourself risking a glance at Theodore across the circle. He’s already looking at you, and you hold back a giggle. You feel like a fucking fangirl when a nervous smile adorns his face, and for the first time, you find yourself uncontrollably smiling back. You’re acutely aware now of the fact that the rest of your sixth year will be forever changed by a boy who has, quite possibly, stolen a milkshake along with your heart.
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