WWOAAHH Cogma, Ain't this a lil... much? What's this 'bout an apocalypse? The water outside seems mighty fine, an' I think your AUDIENCE could see that if you'd let em live once an' a while, athankyouverymuch.
'Scuse me if alla this sounds ignorant, I jus' wanna make sure you 'n your stage are safe, ya dig?
Woah mama, I am so glad you’re interested in Elvitology, and first of all, you’re absolutely correct - it SEEMS fine! However, that is only because the upcoming apocalypse is just out of sight! When it arrives, it will erase all of the precious life on Earth. *sad hip thrusts*
Only I can save you all from this fate! With my guidance, you can learn special powers which INCLUDE but are NOT LIMITED TO flying, withstanding unknown conditions and conserving oxygen! By accepting my help, you will be safer than you’ve ever been because until the apocalypse commences, I will teach you, and when it eventually begins, all members of Elvitology will fly to a habitable planet outside of the dangers that are going to befall this world, where we will live together in a utopic community!
To say it shortly, you will be completely safe as long as you follow the teachings of Elvitology, friend! Hummina hummina hummina (trust-inspiringly)
(And don’t ever worry about sounding ignorant! Asking questions is the best way to learn the secrets of the elvisverse, after all!)