||Lover.||

Who am I? Yours.

[kote-kvothe007]

Don't wanna live as an untold story

Rather go out in a blaze of glory

I can't hear you, I don't fear you

I'll live now 'cause the bad die last

Dodging bullets with your broken past

I can't hear you, I don't fear you, now

Wrapped in your regret

What a waste of blood and sweat

I wanna taste love and pain

Wanna feel pride and shame

I don't wanna take my time

Don't wanna waste one line

I wanna live better days

Never look back and say

“Could have been me”

“It could have been me”

Yeah!

Don't wanna live as an unsung melody

I'd rather listen to the silence telling me

I can't hear you, I won't fear you

Don't wanna wake up on a Monday morning

The thought of work is getting my skin crawling

I can't fear you, I don't hear you now

Wrapped in your regret

What a waste of blood and sweat

I wanna taste love and pain

Wanna feel pride and shame

I don't wanna take my time

Don't wanna waste one line

I wanna live better days

Never look back and say

“Could have been me”

“It could have been me”

Yeah!

(I wanna taste love and pain)

(Wanna feel pride and shame)

(Don't wanna take my time)

No!

(Don't wanna waste one line)

Hey, hey (wanna live better days)

Just better (never look back and say)

(Could have been me)

“It could have been me”

(It could have been me)

“It could have been me”

I wanna taste love and pain

Wanna feel pride and shame

I don't wanna take my time

Don't wanna waste one line

I wanna live better days

Just better!

Never look back and say

“Could have been me”

“It could have been me”

Don't wanna waste one line

I wanna live better days

Just better!

Never look back and say

“Could have been me”

“It could have been me”

“It could have been me”

“It could have been me”

Yeah!

[kote-kvothe007]

Why is this rebloggable.

[3yesd0ntpry]

No one would know.

[kote-kvothe007]

Well, may I find out then?

[3yesd0ntpry]

When the time is right.

[kote-kvothe007]

Any clues to when that’ll be?

[3yesd0ntpry]

That does not sit in mine talons.

[kote-kvothe007]

You really do know how to get me impatient, don’t you? You don’t even have to try, and I’ll have trouble waiting anyway.

[3yesd0ntpry]

My dove, but you always get impatient. Whenever it is for my words, explanations, touch.. Everything happens at the right time and I am no better.

As I always have been telling you, patience is the key with me. You won't get anything if you get impatient so fast.

[kote-kvothe007]

I said you make it difficult for me to be patient, not impossible. You know better than most that I never back down from a challenge.

[pr7ing-ey3s]

I wish I could experience anger like everyone else maybe then I could understand everything irrational about people

[pr7ing-ey3s]

I despise asking for things more than being vulnerable I hate needing favors I hate needing help I hate voicing wants I hate questioning hints or subtleties I don’t understand I hate admitting I don’t always live the easiest most boring life ever

[pr7ing-ey3s]

Moral of the story is that I can’t escape the sadists intentional clinical term I happen to be surrounded by and I only enjoy being hurt by myself so I have a constant urge to kill and or run away with like the 5 things I’ve ever liked in my life

[pr7ing-ey3s]

Ouch

[pr7ing-ey3s]

On the other hand, the only thing I’ve ever wanted was to be helpful

[pr7ing-ey3s]

You see I despise despise despise people being kind to me because they think I need it I despise feeling weak I despise feeling like a burden I despise asking for things I despise voicing my needs I despise voicing my wants even more I despise being needy and I cannot say these statements enough times I cannot convey the truth behind these words if I tried

[pr7ing-ey3s]

One cannot understand how much I am scrambling and kicking and biting and clawing and dying just to try to attempt to gain control of my own life

[pr7ing-ey3s]

I seem to suffer 85000900000008786644674226 times more when I dare to let my guard down

[pr7ing-ey3s]

I can’t wait to fade into the cosmic background

[pr7ing-ey3s]

It’s difficult to breathe but not because I’m having a panic attack I just don’t want to move at all I want to just turn to stone and be forgotten actually

[pr7ing-ey3s]

I want to be in control always so that I don’t have to deal with pain because when someone insults me in a situation where we have equal authority or I have more authority I can js be like “well I gotta be red I’ll let them do as they need to” and idrc but the second the single second I give up any of that control or swords forbid I trust someone any singular would they could possibly deal me will sting and bleed forever and I will let it because after all I deserve to suffer for being so ungrateful and so idiotic as to trust

[pr7ing-ey3s]

It’s funny because I have so much more to say about my life and situation and why I’m so rarely happy but I cannot for the life of me allow myself to act in a manner I’d consider weak or impolite

[pr7ing-ey3s]

I’m scared and I want reassurance and I want to make sure I’m still good enough and that I still deserve everything I’ve been allowed to have and I want to make sure I’m not hurting anyone but I am so so scared and I don’t actually want to be given any of that I just want to not be proved right

[pr7ing-ey3s]

I will be better. I have to be better. I will figure it out. I must. I will.

[pr7ing-ey3s]

You know it’s pain but depending on whether — or — is in control it’s either a searing rage or a guilty sorrow

[pr7ing-ey3s]

I am hurt and I have the urge to break something or cry or scream or something to just express my pain but I am either scared or exhausted to the point of just accepting that discomfort and trying to ignore such