here's to us, the rotten children

here's to us, the rotten children. they made us into violence. your bones, your skin, it’s all been turned into ash. here’s to us, those born of violence, turned into a war ground. MERCY RIVERA TOY SOLDIERS

[prayformercy-blog1]

jcolden:

   “Ah, Mercy. You know the way to my heart.”

   “What you’re witnessing is a walk of shame. Do we have any food? I’ve never been this hungover in my life.”

“The walk is only shameful if you couldn’t get it up.”

“As much as I’d love to play caretaker and fix you something to eat, we don’t have shit.”

[prayformercy-blog1]

jcolden:

   “Thanks, dear, but I’ll have you know I dragged myself in, which frankly I think I deserve a medal for.”

“And where have you been that’s left you looking so rough? It should be a crime to fuck with a face as pretty as yours.”

[prayformercy-blog1]

xbamfbi:

“Right after he shot Chaol, and I saw that he was there, I started shooting him. And I hit him- over and over and over again, right in the chest. But he just kept coming. I thought I was in a fucking nightmare. Like I knew what was going to happen and it didn’t matter what I did to try and stop it, it was going to happen.” Even thinking about it again made her heart race, her foot starting to to tap quickly without her even noticing.  “I have never felt terror like that in my entire life. It was like knowing you’re about to die and having to watch the person walk towards you with the knife, and there’s nothing you can do about it..”

“But I want to murder him. I want to more than anything. I just have to figure out how to do it without him turning it around.”

Hearing Bambi’s story wasn’t easy for Mercy––in fact, it made a familiar anger start to surge just beneath her surface. She knew what it was to be helpless, under the power of another; it was why she did what she did and why she encouraged Bambi to do the same. Some people, Mercy knew, deserved to die, and while the world may have been too merciful to deliver them the knives in their guts they so rightfully deserved, Mercy bore no hint of her namesake. “That was your mistake,” she shrugged, taking a few steps toward Bambi, until she was close enough to press two fingers to the girl’s forehead, a mock gun with a steady hand, “You should have shot him right between the eyes. Next time, don’t give him the chance.”

[prayformercy-blog1]

lucasmoran:

“Well, I’m not gonna say no if you’re offering,” Lucas said, his smile all cat – though he knew better than to think Mercy was a canary.

“Having fun, hmm.. So vague. We’re all friends here, no? You can tell me.”

“I don’t get out of,” Mercy started, pausing briefly with a slight shrug, “Or rather, in to bed for ‘not gonna say no.’ I’m really more of a ‘beg for it’ type of girl. Gotta know your worth,” Mercy flashed him a well-practiced smile, the one that always punctuated her flirtations.

“I was out with a guy. I’ve been eyeing him for a while,” she started the story as casually as any before delving into the details. “He’s a piece of work––a real fucker. Rape, murder––you name it, he’s done it. I’ve been wanting to take him out for months, so I did. Well, he took me,” Mercy corrected herself, her voice still friendly, informal. “He took me to a restaurant downtown. He was creeping his hand up my thigh before the appetizers,” she let out a small laugh before she continued, “It took all of my willpower not to take him out right there with the fucking cutlery, but I’m a good, patient girl. I waited until we got back to his car, and he was on top of me, and then,” she dragged her finger in a straight line across her throat. “It was a mess, but definitely worth it. Nothing quite like that moment, you know? When it’s over,” Mercy stopped for a minute, letting her gaze drift over Lucas before shooting him a wink, “Kidding. Sounds better than my actual date, though. Dude was boring as fuck.”

[prayformercy-blog1]

judaslovett:

“Fighting for money’s not exactly going to leave me looking spotless,” Judas replied, shoulders going up for a shrug. 

His new operation needed funds, and because it didn’t have the years of backing that the Soldiers had, those first couple of coins had to come out of his own account, so to speak… and his own pockets had always been lined with the green that came from the fight rings.

           –At least his nose wasn’t bleeding any longer.

“–– Am I bleeding through the patch on my cheek again?”

“It would if you bobbed and weaved,” Mercy joked, gesturing a quick jab as she tilted her head slightly. Despite her quip, she wasn’t necessarily keen on the idea of Judas taking punches for cash, specifically as she noticed the blood seeping through the bandage on his cheek.

Nodding her head, Mercy acknowledged, “Yeah, but it does make you look all rough and reckless. I’ll change it for you if you’re not into that.”

[prayformercy-blog1]

ka-ia-leidoscope:

“If we’re not moving forward, we’re moving backwards,” Kaia said simply. They might not be dwindling in size, but the Toy Soldiers were starting to look more and more like a group of nomads than an actual gang. Kaia rolled her eyes, “If that was true for everything, you’d never bother to share an opinion. I asked because I wanted to know your standpoint on it, and you tend to be pretty honest. But hey, ‘might surprise you. Apparently I can’t be any worse, so it’s all up from here,” 

“I haven’t been surprised in years, but you’re more than welcome to try. Be wary of confusing confidence with blind conceit, though. Things could always be worse. You could always be worse. And you have big shoes to fill.”

[prayformercy-blog1]

lucasmoran:

“Well, not everyone can look as good as you do, Mercy.”

“Should I sue the world for not giving me cheekbones like yours, is that what you’re gettin’ at?” Something like a baritone laughter followed his question, Lucas cocking his head to the side as he looked at his fellow Soldier. He did look like shit – the lack of sleep had started taking its toll on him, and he could feel the need for it slowly gnawing at his insides. 

He’d scrubbed the blood off his face, his hands, his throat, could still smell soap, and underneath that, iron––– but the itch wouldn’t leave. It had kept him company for years, like the marrow in his bones.

“Where have you been, hm? You sure as shit didn’t get dragged in by the cat.”

“If I was forced to live without these cheekbones, I know I’d want someone to pay,” she cracked a smile, never one to play modest when it came to her looks. They had gotten her this far, always one of the most important weapons in her arsenal; there wasn’t much that could lure a man faster than the fluttering eyelashes of a pretty girl and Mercy was more aware of that than she could hide.

She had been off putting those wiles––as well as her knives––to use, but the wicked needed rest as much as the innocent, and Mercy had no desire to relinquish her beauty sleep.

“I’ve been out. Having fun,” she offered. The kill was really a need for her, now, but ‘fun’ was as appropriate a word as any. “I just never look like shit. I’m gifted that way. You, on the other hand,” she laughed, “Look like you need me to put you to bed.”

[prayformercy-blog1]

ka-ia-leidoscope:

Kaia had asked for her opinion, and she respected it regardless, so she wasn’t bothered by Mercy’s honesty. “No proof to say I’m not, though,” Kaia pointed. She had a blank slate, she hadn’t done anything wrong -not in comparison to the other soldiers- so any predispositions weren’t from her supposed ‘track record’. “I was tired of us losing lives, that’s why I stepped up. Someone had to,” the girl replied with just as much honesty. “Always,”

"No proof to say you are, either. It's not like we've been dropping like flies since Judas left, and I think we both know someone would have stepped up if she had to. Don’t ask what people think of your rise to the top when you already know the answer. You can't run a 4th place race and expect to be treated like a winner. You jumped your turn, but that's your burden to bear."

[prayformercy-blog1]

xbamfbi:

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, pausing a moment to think. “I can’t stop thinking about it. Not when I’m sleeping, not when I’m awake- it’s like he’s fucking everywhere. I’ve fucking tried. But it’s like my brain is stuck. I get anxiety attacks fucking constantly. The fact that I didn’t murder him when I had the chance fucking haunts me.”

It wasn’t hard for Mercy to put herself in Bambi’s shoes. She had found herself in that position once before, and though the trauma gave way to unrelenting anger, she still found herself back in her childhood bedroom in nightmares that seemed impossible to wake from. Knowing how she dealt with her own pain, Mercy replied simply, “So find another chance.”

[prayformercy-blog1]

ka-ia-leidoscope:

“Not helpless, just burgerless…. tragic, I know. I wouldn’t take the position if I didn’t think I could do it,” Kaia tilted. “What do you think?”

“I think everyone thinks they’re capable when they’re fifteen and most of them are wrong,” Mercy shrugged matter-of-factly, speaking truthfully. “People have made lives out of taking what doesn’t belong to them, but others have lost lives doing the same. You seem to have chosen the latter, walking that tightrope in a pack of crazy like ours.” Mercy had no interest in offending the teenager and spoke bluntly only to advise the girl. “I’d march carefully, little Soldier.”

[prayformercy-blog1]

ka-ia-leidoscope:

“Hey if it works for you, it must be good then. If that were true, I’d have a giant cheeseburger in my lap right now,” Kaia chuckled. 

“Don’t play so helpless, leader. Confidence is key,” Mercy advised, eyeing the younger girl with a raised brow.

[prayformercy-blog1]

xbamfbi:

Bambi knew the moment she showed up that Mercy would want to know what happened. She’d know whatever the Toy Soldiers told her about Sage nearly dying, and her mind would wander. There was no point in lying, either, as Mercy would see through it immediately. “What do you think happened Mercy?” Her eyes drifted towards her, her face nearly expressionless. She hated thinking about Arden, as even the mere thought of him made her stomach tie into knots. “I’m fucking stupid and got myself, and Sage, kidnapped as a result.”

Though Mercy had expected the girl’s explanation in part, already aware of the role Arden had played, the self-deprecation caught her off guard, causing her to narrow her eyes and shake her head as she broke the newfound silence. “Cut the shit, Bambi,” she started, her words more comforting, somehow, than harsh, “You didn’t ‘get yourself’ kidnapped, and we both know you’re a lot stronger than playing his victim.”

[prayformercy-blog1]

ka-ia-leidoscope:

“Could be worse… ‘Could look like you,” Kaia smirked playfully.

"My looks can be a curse, but they tend to be more of a blessing. We all have ways of getting what we want. You know a little something about that, right?”

[prayformercy-blog1]

xbamfbi:

“It’s a wonder considering the week long spa vacation I just took.”

“It looks like you got a hot stone massage from about,” Mercy paused, feigning thought before offering, “3 feet away?” Letting her gaze drift over the girl, however, taking in the cast, the stitches, and her wrist, a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it look of concern overtook Mercy’s usually bored visage. “Did you want to tell me what happened or were you here because those Lost Boys can’t give you what I used to,” she smirked slightly, the joke concealing her worry.

[prayformercy-blog1]

“Well, look what the cat dragged in. You look like shit.”