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@preakercursed
ANOTHER UPDATED VERSION OF ‘ EMILY HAS TOO MANY BLOGS ’ :
↷ LYDIA MARTIN , TEEN WOLF › main blog , medium activity . ↷ JESSICA MOORE , SUPERNATURAL › secondary blog , high activity . ↷ NANCY WHEELER , STRANGER THINGS › making a comeback soon ↷ AMERICAN HORROR STORY MULTI › new blog , low activity . ↷ ALICE COOPER , RIVERDALE › currently being revamped . ↷ BETTY COOPER , RIVERDALE › currently being revamped . ↷ CAMILLE PREAKER , SHARP OBJECTS › super low activity for now .
based on this suggestions blog. warning: these are pretty dark/angry & could be triggering to some people. please be cautious before proceeding!!
‘ all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly & me to not flinch away without meaning to. when will this stop affecting me? ’ ‘ all i want is to be soft & gentle, but i’m made out of steel & anger. maybe in another life, i guess. ’ ‘ beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so choose to see beauty in everything. ’ ‘ burning it all to the ground & force them to start again. they made you lose everything. now return the favor. ’ ‘ do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own? ’ ‘ do you trust me enough? do you trust me at all? ’ ‘ don’t you dare abandon me. ’ ‘ even after all you have done, i will always want you fighting on my side. ’ ‘ every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again. ’ ‘ everyone i have ever loved is long gone. i sing to the sky alone. ’ ‘ everyone i touch gets hurt, but i can’t stop. i touch & i touch & i touch & people get hurt. why can’t i ever stop? ’ ‘ everyone says i used to be a hero, but i can still taste the blood in my mouth & still feel bruises blooming because of my fists & my eyes are still stretched wide & terrified. ’ ‘ everything i love has been taken from me. what do i have left to fight for? ’ ‘ fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong. ’ ‘ friends are more important than any material object will ever be. ’ ‘ i am aching to hold you & keep you safe, to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you. ’ ‘ i am divine & you will bow before me. ’ ‘ i am fucking divine. ’ ‘ i am in control & i listen to no one. ’ ‘ i am not a good person. don’t pretend i am. ’ ‘ i am not accustomed to love. this is a learning experience. ’ ‘ i am not worth saving & i am not worth redemption. let me stay in the dark. ’ ‘ i am so tired all the time, all i want to do is rest. ’ ‘ i am too tired to deal with any of this. ’ ‘ i bow to no man. ’ ‘ i broke into sharp pieces when i broke & i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together. i’m sorry. ’ ‘ i can give you your wings back & i can show you to fly once more, if you only believe in me. ’ ‘ i cannot be saved. ’ ‘ i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people. i can bear this weight on my own. i have to. ’ ‘ i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you, but i loved you too much to notice. ’ ‘ i crave affection in the simplest way. ’ ‘ i deserve to hurt. i deserve to bleed. ’ ‘ i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me. ’ ‘ i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer, as long as it leaves your lips. ’ ‘ i don’t fight for you anymore. ’ ‘ i don’t want to let go of you. not now, not ever. ’ ‘ i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to remember. i don’t want to heal. all i want is for it to go away. ’ ‘ i don’t want you to touch me. please don’t touch me, just go away. ’ ‘ i feel anger deeper than my bones. i feel anger in my very soul. ’ ‘ i feel nothing at all, except for when i feel everything all at once. ’ ‘ i have fallen & though i may miss the sky, i belong here now. ’ ‘ i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine. ’ ‘ i have no home anymore. ’ ‘ i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand & then i remember nothing. ’ ‘ i see beauty in everything, but especially in you. ’ ‘ i should never have fallen in love with you. ’ ‘ i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me. now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away. ’ ‘ i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe. ’ ‘ i will never amount to anything. i am a failure in the worst type of way. ’ ‘ i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me & maybe someday it will be true. ’ ‘ if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore. ’ ‘ if you ask me to, i will set the whole world on fire, my dear. it’s all for you. ’ ‘ is it my fault? it’s my fault. it’s always my fault. ’ ‘ it’s not murder if they deserved it, right? ’ ‘ i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me, choking on anger & suffocating on sadness. ’ ‘ i’m in love with everything that hurts me. ’ ‘ i’m okay. i’m alright. this is all in my mind. ’ ‘ i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me. ’ ‘ i’m so cold & i can’t stop shaking. i am not who you think i am. ’ ‘ i’m so tired all the time & i just want to be awake again. ’ ‘ i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten. i just want someone to remember me. ’ ‘ i’m tired of fighting everything in my life. just make it stop. ’ ‘ i’m too tired to care. blow up, get angry at me. i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it. ’ ‘ jealousy burns within me. ’ ‘ just let me go in peace for once in my damn life. ’ ‘ loneliness is a disease & it leaves me empty & hollow, like sound goes through my body & bounces back. ’ ‘ made of starlight & sunshine, i shine brighter than they all know. ’ ‘ my anger is righteous & my actions are pure. ’ ‘ my chest aches & my lungs burn. this sickness comes from the inside. ’ ‘ my chest hurts & all i need is some comfort & understanding. ’ ‘ my chest hurts & i ache to go back to the sky. ’ ‘ my shoulders are aching where wings used to be & all i want is for them to stop hurting. ’ ‘ pull me apart & piece me together in your own way. make me perfect. ’ ‘ righteous fury throws through my veins & if you touch the people i love i will destroy you. ’ ‘ rise up. you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more. ’ ‘ say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue. ’ ‘ so much blood has been spilled in my name. time to make you believe it was in yours. ’ ‘ so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent, but not when i scream & plead for help? fuck off. ’ ‘ sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want. ’ ‘ stay away from my fucking friends. stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you. ’ ‘ stop treating me like i’m an idiot. you aren’t better than me in any way & you better remember that. ’ ‘ the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue. ’ ‘ the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it. ’ ‘ to love them is my divine right. ’ ‘ voices whisper from the shadows & they fill my mind with thoughts of you. ’ ‘ what did i to wrong to be so unloved? ’ ‘ what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it? ’ ‘ who the fuck do you think you are? ’ ‘ why can’t i ever fucking stop crying? ’ ‘ with a new year comes new tests & triumphs. let’s try to make the most out of it. ’ ‘ would it really kill you to be honest for once? ’ ‘ yes, i remember my wings breaking & being destroyed. i was powerless to stop it. ’ ‘ you are not required to love your parents, or to even like them. ’ ‘ you can’t hate me more than i hate myself, but you are more than welcome to try. ’ ‘ you may say you love me, but you love only a part of me. i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being. ’ ‘ you never fucking cared about me. don’t fucking lie about it. not to me. ’ ‘ you remind me of mint. fresh, sharp, kind of cold, but in a nice way. i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite. ’ ‘ you shine light in even the darkest parts of me. you are my sun. ’ ‘ you should fear me, but you don’t. i will be eternally puzzled, yet grateful. ’ ‘ you touch me & my skin burns & it burns for you, always you. ’
*in seductive voice* do you find my abandonment issues and unstable sense of identity sexy? *strips off clothes* i’m convinced you hate me and i don’t know who i am baby
I’M THE WORST & I WANNA FOLLOW THE TREND . go ahead & like this for some instagram aesthetics because they’re my favorite to make & i haven’t done them in awhile . these might be a tiny bit selective , but i might come to you for ideas on established relationship / friendship / whatever if we haven’t interacted yet !
I’M THE WORST & I WANNA FOLLOW THE TREND . go ahead & like this for some instagram aesthetics because they’re my favorite to make & i haven’t done them in awhile . these might be a tiny bit selective , but i might come to you for ideas on established relationship / friendship / whatever if we haven’t interacted yet !
sentence prompts ➝ poetry starters
‘ life— the thing that happens to us. ’
‘ you owe no one your forgiveness. ’
‘ how’s that for a happily ever after? ’
‘ silence has always been my loudest scream. ’
‘ when I die, do not waste a minute mouring me. ’
‘ “no” is short for “fuck off.” ’
‘ you shine brighter than all the starlight there has ever been or ever will be. ’
‘ i bet you regret making an enemy out of me. ’
‘ we cannot control what we remember ’
‘ i don’t even believe in people. ’
‘ it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are ’
‘ i am a world of uncertainties disguised as a girl. ’
‘ whatever it is that stirs your soul, listen to that. everything else is just noise. ’
‘ i like the disaster of the night sky, stars spilling this way and that as if they were upturned from a glass. ’
‘ resist much, obey little. ’
‘ be patient and tough; one day this pain will be useful to you. ’
‘ i am a dreamer with empty hands and I like the chill. ’
‘ i deserved someone who was willing to stay ’
‘ you’re everywhere except right here and it hurts ’
‘ time doesn’t obey our commands ’
‘ girls like her were born in a storm. ’
‘ only the brave and the broken are kind in this world. ’
‘ people aren’t born sad; we make them that way. ’
‘ some people are born with tornados in their lives ’
‘ there is nothing scarier in their minds than a girl who knows the power of her flames. ’
‘ tell them to be proud of every bit of themselves— ’
‘ some are made of witchcraft and wolf and a little bit of vice. ’
‘ these scars have never diminished your worth, they are the stories that make you whole. ’
‘ and you say you are broken, but broken mirrors like you create the most beautiful patterns of light. ’
‘ but what could you possibly see in her? ’
‘ everything, I see everything in her, because the stardust that makes her is the same stardust that makes me. ’
‘ did you really think she was a tender flower you could trample upon, and damage her very soul? ’
‘ you clutter my mind ’
‘ i close my eyes and see infinite galaxies ’
‘ i long for a life i have control of ’
‘ and all i have now are memories that feel like dreams ’
‘ don’t be afraid of getting hurt ’
‘ you have to fight to be alright ’
IF YOU NEED ME TONIGHT : i’ve already been doing this all day , but i’m constantly going to be jumping in between camille , jessica , & lydia . i have a lot of shit to get done & i know it won’t be a lot , but i’m gonna try my best to do some things before the work week starts . i’m also avalible on disco if you wanna talk or plot or start some threads on there ! just as a reminder , work days i usually can only get to things on disco unless i have muse in the morning before leaving so if you want to write with me , that’s the best bet .
* yagaymi .·
░░░░░░ ☾ amma looks at her sister with a mixture of pity and pleasure. “why do you pretend you never wanted her love?” she pokes at camille’s inflamed wounds like a burning needle. she does not know how to explain that some days adora is a comfort. most days, she is not. “i think…” she coughs into the side of her pillow once, twice. her mouth twists with irony as she turns back to face camille. “i think there’s nothing wrong with wanting a mother’s love.”
“oh, mille.” she says, like a cardigan-clad housewife who is well above her years. it does not suit amma’s sickly, pale face. “there’s so much you don’t know. there’s so much you have to learn. come. get into bed with me. i’m sure she’ll eat it right up.”
IT FELT AS THOUGH SHE WAS BEING PRIED OPENED . the younger was asking questions no one ever had -- saying things that had been echoing in her mind for years & to tell the truth , camille absolutely hated it . her skin began to crawl & recoil at the question , causing a discomfort settle in the pit of her stomach that grew every time amma’s lips parted . she gulps , shrugging , feeding into amma’s ways . ‘ i wanted her love once , but i never got it . i never will . ’ hands reach out for amma’s face , delicately placing a hand on her forehead , only for her to come to the conclusion that she was burning up , she just couldn’t figure out how adora was able to do it . ‘ there’s a lot wrong when it’s our mama we’re talking about . ’ her expression turns sour as her body pleads with her not to slide into the bed next to her , but she obeys . being in the palm of a teenager was not something she wanted to do , but if it meant getting amma to listen to her , maybe it wasn’t the worst decision . once she’s down . she fixes her visage to something resembling softness as she looks over at her sickly sister . ‘ what do you think about coming home with me for a little while ? ’
random numbers 3 8 21 46 78 88
003 . DOES YOUR CHARACTER LIKE COFFEE BETTER OR TEA ?
camille strongly prefers coffee . after a childhood of getting tea brought to her no matter what , she can’t stand it any longer . on top of that , due to frequent nightmares , she needs the coffee & acts like it’s a damn lifeline .
008 . WHAT IS THEIR FAVORITE FAIRY TALE ?
as a kid , it was sleeping beauty . now anything that involves the evil mother ( or step mother ) getting what they deserve is something camille has always eaten up .
021 . HOW DO THEY DISPLAY THEIR AFFECTION ?
she doesn’t know how & believes that she never really has . as of late , it’s taking care of amma & opening up to others about her past .
046 . HOW DO THEY HANDLE GETTING SICK ?
camille hates getting sick . it reminds her too much of her childhood , of adora , of marian , now of amma . every part of sickness comes with an overwhelming feeling of confusion & resentment , along with a fear that she’s going to perish due to a small cough . truly , she knows it’s an irrational fear , but it’s still one that remains .
078 . HOW EMOTIONALLY STABLE IS YOUR CHARACTER ?
depends on the day . emotional stability is something camille hasn’t had in a couple decades . since her stay in the psychiatric care unit , she’s learned how to put up a better front & tries her best to hide the fact that she’s never emotionally open for others or herself . all of her stability is made by drinking to hide it away .
088 . IS YOUR CHARACTER QUIET OR LOUD ?
quiet . she’s always been quiet – someone who would rather listen & observe than be loud & the center of attention . anything to keep eyes off of her & stay hidden in plain sight is something she strives for so she doesn’t raise her voice often , not even in a fight .
( * &. – @yagaymi › character development › accepting !
* incorrigibletoo .
❛ so how was the funeral ? ❜ gaze is cast down to her fiddling fingers, voice an octave lower than usual. amma didn’t really want to know how it went; she could care less, even with the few memories she had of actually enjoying being around natalie. an ounce of guilt, maybe, but it wasn’t because she regretted doing it. guilt because she hadn’t done it sooner. ❛ sad ? ❜
AT FIRST SHE SHOOTS AMMA A HARSH GLARE . it seemed as though her sister was just trying to make conversation , not really caring . camille tried to look past it as she parted her lips , mumbling a little before speaking . ‘ most funerals are sad . a little girl did get brutally murdered after all . ’ she constantly is trying to figure amma out , but she wasn’t sure if this was the right way in doing so . ‘ i pissed mama off again , though . ’
100 Random Character Development Questions
001. When is their birthday? 002. Do they do anything to celebrate their birthday? 003. Does your character like coffee better, or tea? 004. Do they prefer being alone or with others? 005. Are they in good health? 006. What sense do they most rely on? 007. Is your character an optimist or a pessimist? 008. What is their favorite fairy tale? 009. Do they believe in happy endings? 010. Do they believe in love at first sight? 011. How would your character court the person of their dreams? 012. What makes your character embarrassed? 013. Have they ever been bullied or teased? 014. Detail one secret shame your character feels. 015. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? 016. What is their choice of weapon? 017. When does your character think that violence is justified or deserved? 018. Your character wakes up to find that war has been declared. What do they do? 019. If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? 020. What are their hobbies? 021. How do they display affection? 022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? 023. What do they consider beautiful in others physically? 024. What do they consider ugly in others physically? 025. What do they consider beautiful in others personality-wise? 026. What do they consider ugly in others personality-wise? 027. What is their idea of perfect happiness? 028. What makes them laugh out loud? 029. What sort of sense of humor does your character have? 030. Do they believe in the afterlife? 031. Are they superstitious about anything? 032. Does your character believe in ghosts? 033. Do they keep their promises? 034. What’s their view of lying? 035. What is the most important rule your character lives by? 036. How honorable is your character? 037. If your character saw someone drop a large sum of money and knew that they could probably take it without anyone noticing, what would they do? 038. What bad habits do they have? 039. What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? 040. What is their obsession? 041. Are they comfortable with technology? 042. What is their greatest achievement? 043. What will they stand up for? 044. What disgusts them? 045. Does your character have any chronic medical conditions? 046. How do they handle getting sick? 047. What was the last medical problem your character had? 048. Do they have any allergies? 049. How does your character feel about growing old? 050. How does your character feel about their own mortality? 051. If they knew they would die tomorrow, what would they do today? 052. What is your character’s worst flaw? 053. What is your character’s greatest strength? 054. Does your character want power or authority of any kind? 055. Is your character an introvert or an extrovert? 056. Has your character ever struck someone in anger? 057. Has your character ever killed anyone? 058. What is your character’s idea of a perfect day? 059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up? 060. What is your character’s attitude toward education and learning? 061. Does your character prefer adventure or safety and security? 062. What sort of legacy does your character wish to leave behind? 063. How well does your character handle difficult people? 064. In what ways does your character annoy others? 065. Is your character better at leading or following? Which do they prefer? 066. Does your character prefer city life or being out in nature? 067. Does your character believe in fate or destiny? 068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it? 069. What about your character is heroic? 070. What about your character is cowardly? 071. How kind is your character? 072. In a Dungeons & Dragons game, which class would your character be? (wizard, fighter, bard, priest, ranger, etc.) 073. In a novel, what plot role would your character fill? (hero, anti-hero, sidekick, villain, etc.) 074. What is your character’s favorite game? 075. Is your character ticklish? 076. How do they express anger? 077. How often do they cry? Over what? 078. How emotionally stable is your character? 079. How easy is it for them to read the emotions of others? 080. How easy is it for others to read your character’s emotions? 081. Is your character religious? 082. What are your character’s sleeping preferences? 083. What is the first thing they say and/or do when they wake up? 084. Describe your character in one word. 085. Describe your character in three words. 086. How would your character describe themself in one word? 087. How would your character describe themself in three words? 088. Is your character quiet or loud? 089. How vocally expressive is your character? 090. How bodily expressive is your character? 091. What type of music does your character like? 092. What emotion does your character evoke in others? 093. What is your character’s goal in life? 094. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to know. 095. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to do. 096. How do they move and carry themselves? What energy do they project? 097. How well do they adapt to change? 098. Does your character like animals? 099. Do they talk to inanimate objects? 100. Does your character dream? If so, what do they dream about?
HOMECOMING QUEEN by Hinder
( * &. OOC . hey , hi , hello ! i just wanna let everyone know that i’m not ignoring these blogs , you , your messages , replies , starters , or memes on purpose . the week was busy & got away from me . i thought i’d have some time tonight since i worked an earlier shift than usual , but i forgot i have to take my cat to the vet at seven in the morning . please bear with me as i try to get my shit together this weekend & hope for some things to come of these blogs again . i swear on everything that i’ll be getting around to all things in character & out ! i love you all dearly & just thank you for understanding !
okay , babes , i’m off to work for the next ten or so hours . feel free to add me on d!scord & we can plot or write or just talk because i’m gonna be bored af . as for right now , the muses avalible on d!scord are camille preaker , jessica moore , lara jean covey , lydia martin , & nancy wheeler !
also sincerest apologies that i didn’t get anything done on these blogs over my long weekend. i got busy and then i got lazy. i’m gonna put up some starter calls tonight and queue replies and memes as well. wish me luck.
I WASN’T BORN TO BE SOFT & QUIET . i was born to make the world shatter & shake at my fingertips . / independent & highly selective canon divergent jessica moore from cw’s supernatural . penned by emily .
