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one of my coworkers has a matching tat w her fiance. hers says “beauty” in cursive and his says “beast” in like an edgy Masculine font & that’s what straight culture is

chicksallovermedeleted-deactiva

people that own chickens are trustworthy

blextrophy

chickens own themselves

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you’re completely right and i’m a fool

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please watch brooklyn nine nine

weloveshortvideos

bob-belcher

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reallyreallyreallytrying

medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later

reactionfaces

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rumze

it would funny if it didn’t hurt inside

bonbonlanguage

You know what I think is really cool about language (English in this case)? It’s the way you can express “I don’t know” without opening your mouth. All you have to do is hum a low note, a high note, then another lower note. The same goes for yes and no. Does anyone know what this is called?

rk8con

gulreth

I got a new phone and recorded a video of my bird.

spentgladiator

is your bird a villager?

wasted-art

he should get an oscar for this interview

everydaylouie

i animated a lil mbmbam bit i really like

what can i say, i love silly names

myboyfriendpetebuttigieg

The first time I heard an adult say the f word was when I was in fourth grade and we were doing some project that involved us baking cookies together as a class. My teacher Ms. Lindsey, who was real sweet, was demonstrating for everybody and she asked if anyone knew how to crack an egg, and I really didn’t know how to crack an egg, but I’m a go-getter, so I raised my hand and she called on me. I instantly knew I was in trouble at that point but I’d seen my dad crack eggs hundreds of times so I figured, ya know, it can’t be thaaaat hard. So I grab the egg but I have no sense of how softly you’re supposed to tap an egg to crack it, so I just slam it against the desk and splatter raw egg ten feet in every direction and my teacher said “what the fuck, Dion?”