At this point, I’ve just resigned myself to being pregnant forever.
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@preggo-problems
At this point, I’ve just resigned myself to being pregnant forever.
TFW your pregnancy app emails you to ask if you’re still pregnant.
Yes. Forever.
Really could have done without the obnoxious Macy’s salesman who a) opened with “hey, we’re on the same diet plan!” b) assumed I was having twins, and c) quickly launched into the story of his 11+ lb. kid who required an ER c-section.
Go fuck yourself.
I’m going to go ahead and call BS on the whole sex/semen as a natural labor kickstarter concept. It’s clearly penis propaganda perpetuated by the male industrial complex.
Spoiler: IT’S NOT WORKING
A non-comprehensive list of things I don’t want to envision passing through my vagina 🙈
Current laundry regimen: Removing misc food stains from the belly region of my shirts.
Only one person asked me today if I’m having twins, so that’s a win.
Me: Ok self. Just try to enjoy the last few days of this pregnancy
Universe: *hold my beer*
Man, shouting from his front porch: GOTTA BE TWINS!! MUST BE DUE TOMORROW! THAT’S THE *BIGGEST BELLY* I’VE EVER SEEN!!!
Never been so excited about mucus before
😬🙅♀️😬🤷♀️
Mother. Fucking. Cankles.
Oh good. Cause it feels like someone is aggressively punching me in the vag.
Me: My placenta cooler is packed and ready!
Husband: You mean, my lunchbox?
SAME
Indefinite status
Hahahahahhahhahhahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahhahhahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahhahhahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahhahhahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahaha NO
Mood
really living my best life