â(Y/N)! GLAD YOU could make it!â atsumu notices you entering the restaurant, waving you over.
âhi, everyone.â you smile.
your friends from highschool are already here, after a month of planning to suit your busy schedules. courtesy of atsumu, of course.
âhey.â osamu raises an arm.
âhello.â kita smiles.
conveniently, the only open seat is next to him. he shares his menu with you, although you end up ordering the same thing.
the five of you catch up, atsumu casually throwing in unnecessary yet amusing comments with osamu there to regulate him. of course, aran is there to keep the conversation going, too.
somewhere along the way, volleyball gets brought up into the conversation, leading into a one-sided debate between aran and atsumu. osamu pays attention for the fun of it.
âyou okay?â kita casually whispers in your ear.
âwhy wouldnât i be?â you tilt your head to the side. âweâre all together, weâre having fun.â
he stares at you for a bit, looking sympathetic. âyou know itâs not all of us.â
you donât reply. heâs right.
as much as the topic is better to avoid, itâs almost impossible to miss the fact that one of their old teammates is absent.
you try not to mull over it. after all, you did come here to have fun.
âdrinks for all of us!â atsumu declares, cutting your conversation short.
you chuckle, looking at kita once more. âletâs have some fun?â
he nods, directing his words to atsumu, âwe need at least two of us to be sober.â
âme.â osamu casually offers.
âiâll be the second. the rest of you, go all out.â he laughs.
kitaâs laugh is nice. so are several aspects to him. in fact, itâs almost impossible for you to find flaws in kita.
as much as you do care for him (one will even go as far as saying you love him), you know you canât get back in another relationship for at least a while.
kita knows that, too, and heâs very respective of your decision. that doesnât mean the two of you donât think it over every once in a while, though.
â(Y/N)! drink something!â atsumu says.
âunlike you, not all of us are free from work tomorrow.â you tease. âi have an important meeting.â
âyouâre no fun.â he pouts, though you know heâs joking. âweâre here to celebrate!â
âand what are we celebrating, exactly?â you cock an eyebrow.
he pauses for a bit. âitâs been one year since our team participated in the olympics!â
â10 months.â osamu corrects.
âso what, i just forgot a few months!â
âyouâve been obsessing over the olympics for months prior to the event itself. you wouldnât forget an important detail like that.â
âdo i really need an excuse to hang out with my friends?â
âno, but if youâre going to come up with an excuse, donât lie about it.â
osamu seems to have said something he shouldnât have, because you can feel the slight vibration of the table as something hit it. atsumu instantly reaches for his foot, mumbling something incoherent.
although you never really understand what they fight about, the twins never cease to bring a smile to your face with their banter.
âitâs been a year since⊠(Y/N) became an independent woman!â
another kick is sent under the table, this time hitting atsumu. he goes for his other foot, softly massaging it through the shoe as he insults his brother.
âif you keep that up, i wonât be able to use my feet.â
âyou hit yourself the first time.â
you chuckle a bit, and atsumu is relieved that the topic isnât sensitive for you to speak about.
âto independant women.â you raise a glass.
âdo independant women!â atsumu raises his, despite it being almost empty.
âto independant women.â osamu raises his glass of water, intentionally clanking into atsumuâs.
âto independant women.â aran grins, raising his drink.
âto independant women.â kita smiles, raising his glass of water.
the five of you simultaneously drink out of your glasses, despite the difference of liquid within them.
the men find themselves arguing over how to split the bill, and you find that as an opening to sneak outside.
as much as you do enjoy spending your time with them, there are times that you need for yourself.
you never think that youâll find yourself staring at the same sky again, and you could have sworn that you promised yourself to leave behind this city.
it was hard, and you caved after a little over a year.
itâs also hard to believe that it has been that long. a whole three-hundred-sixty-five days, and you still havenât gotten over everything.
âwho thought iâd find you here?â the voice speaks again.
you turn to face the familiar tone, not surprised to find the one you left behind. he doesnât look much too different.
âhi.â you say, not really wanting to indulge in conversation.
âso, what are you doing out here?â
âi could ask you the same.â
a pause takes place. the both of you know that the conversation is awkward from the start. there are far too many unspoken words, far too much meaning behind them.
âyou look great.â he says again.
âyou changed up your hair.â
âi always liked it better when it was long.â
âi think it looks better this way.â
another silence. this one is a bit shorter than the last, but itâs long enough for you to decide that you want closure.
âhow did things go with the olympics?â
âended a few weeks after.â
a few words are missing from the context, but the two of you have managed to understand each other with no misconceptions.
he knows youâre speaking about her, and you know what he means when he says after.
âiâm sorry.â he mutters.
youâre holding yourself back from shouting at him, yelling that he canât apologize after all this time from being away and what heâs done.
âwas it a coincidence that we met here?â you say instead.
âno.â he sighs. âthey told me they were busy tonight, and i made a lucky guess that youâd all be here.â
âyou wanted to speak with me?â
âyeah. you needed some closure after all this time.â
âso will you answer my questions truthfully?â
âto the best of my abilities.â
he sucks in a breath, âa few months.â
âfor how long?â you repeat.
you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. as much as you hate admitting it, crying was inevitable when you think of what happened.
âthat day i brought you to the jelly-stick stand, when i had to leave early.â
âthatâs kind of irrelevant now.â
you chuckle a little. then it turns into a full blown laugh, and youâre bent over your knees trying to catch your breath.
âi really, really wanted to believe that you had changed.â you say. âitâs not realistic for people to change, but part of me wanted you to. part of me hoped for you to.â
âthe same part of me that canât get you out of my head.â
he faces you with his eyes widened, but you pay him no mind as you continue to stare up at the moon.
âiâm⊠i know what i did was wrong, but-â
âthere isnât a âbutâ, and you and i know that well.â you sigh. âas much as i still think about you, i canât put myself through something like that again. even before that incident with her â and i donât know her name because youâre not telling me â i was beginning to feel out of place.â
âdonât say youâre sorry. you and i both know that wonât do anything.â you say. âbut if you were right about something, it had to be that iâd become a shell of myself.â
he knows that what youâre saying has been on your mind for a while. âi understand what you mean-â
âyou donât understand, suna. iâve never felt more free in my life than i do now.â
âoh.â he breathes out â he notes the use of his last name. âi didnât realize iâd put that much pressure on you.â
âyouâre smart.â you say. âyou just didnât want to realize.â
you are right, and heâs surprised to have seen you caught on. itâs hard to forget someone, someone you used to feel every emotion that you can possible feel towards. ten years of your life that the old you will claim to be the happiest, but the new you knows better.
âoh, yeah.â you shuffle for something inside your pocket. âiâve been meaning to give you this, incase we met up randomly at a time like this.â
heâs handed the ring he gave you over a year ago, in almost pristine condition. you donât wear it often, but that is a given considering the meaning behind it. it rests in his palm, and he makes no effort to put it away.
â(Y/N), you alright?â you faintly hear kita shout from the dark.
âyeah, iâm fine!â you shout back.
heâs too far away to see you, but the sound of your voice is enough reassurance for him to stay put.
âweâre finished with the bill, do you want us to come?â
âno, itâs fine. stay in the car, iâll be there in a few minutes.â
âso, kita?â suna questions. âanything going on between you?â
âi donât think itâs your place to ask.â you say words similar to his own when speaking of her.
âyouâre right, my bad.â
âwell, i should get going. it was nice to get some closure, i guess.â
âdo you ever think about what couldâve been?â
you sigh, âweâre not having this conversation. you and i both know itâs futile.â
âyouâre right.â he murmurs. âthis mustâve been how you felt before.â
when he doesnât answer, you look up at his face. suna rintaro isnât a very emotional person, so itâs a surprise to see small, subtle tears falling down his face â almost invisible in the moonlight.
âi really put you through a lot, huh? and i made you cry again tonight.â he sighs.
âi have to get going.â
âso this is goodbye?â
âwill i see you around?â
âwe both know the answer to that.â
you turn around, beginning to walk to the parking lot with heavy steps. before you can get very far, he calls out to you once more.
a small pause settles into the air, with an accompanying breeze.
âlike you said before,â you say. âitâs irrelevant now.â
you turn on your heels for the final time, your footsteps much faster than before. you donât want any distractions or last-minute stops.
suna watches you go, wiping the small tears of his own. the droplets of water were but a fraction of what you had to endure for a long time, all because of him.
he shouldâve known that the wholesome, friendly interactions the two of you had in highschool could never develop into anything more.
even if youâd gotten to know him more than anyone else, he shouldâve never accepted your confession without thinking it through. he shouldâve never kept moving on with the next step of your relationship just for the thrill of it.
after all, the relationship was doomed from beginning.
it was good until it wasnât.
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hello, everyone! firstly, i would like to thank everyone that has commented and left asks about the story, all of you really kept me going! at some point, i lost all inspiration for this story and even considered discontinuing it, but i coudnât. itâs been a nice journey between the innerworkings of a toxic relationship, and i feel like i can... truly understand what the mc feels like now (i donât know if that makes sense?). again, thank you for sticking around, and i hope to see you all in the next series i have planned!