Pretty Dumb Heart

here to spill my heart and mind

[prettydumbheart]

Sunday Reverie

There are things that drift but on that Sunday's light you stayed in sight even when the coffee gets cold I found you down's sitting around through the buzzling crowd, it's your voice I'm trying to find to turn the turret down for what's done swirls and sweeps the river flows, but you filled the seat forgotten agony with your sweet hello like growing hues that could win the war but I'm terrified I'd burn you black and white.

[prettydumbheart]

Tossing and Turning

You stay by the fire intertwined with her hand not with mine that love's twisted disguise not enough to fill the abyss of your mind infidelity hiding within those eyes my reflection haunting your nights blind hoping, it's me with you tonight.

[davecortel]

[prettydumbheart]

Tonight, Rain

With the pavements gleaming and sky roaring the wind whispered your name, carried on it's breath a little bit more love did reclaim my heart for you again.

[prettydumbheart]

Small but Certain Happiness

Do you ever feel like you're stuck or frozen behind glass? Sometimes, it feels like everything is moving fast: friends getting engaged, married, and even starting their own families, getting promoted in their jobs, traveling, and finding the love of their lives, while you're there, stuck in life, watching life happen to people around you. It feels terrible, right? The questions “When will I get there?” or “Will I ever get there?” fill your mind. I have been there, and there are times when that feeling arises when I let myself. But recently, I came across this phrase: “Small but certain happiness.” It's about the little things around us that make us happy. We sometimes focus too much on the things we cannot control in life, especially the vague future. But only if we find time to take a deep breath and focus on what's here and now.

Think about the last time you felt happy, warm, and contented. What were the things around you? What are your all-time favorite things in life? Mine are empty cafés, iced matcha lattes, rom-com books/movies or series, tea, my dog, sunsets, the smell of books and rain, painting, the moon, reading my Bible, going for a walk, writing, going on picnics with my friends, lighting scented candles, doing yoga, and going to bookstores. These are my small but certain sources of happiness that help me forget about my worries in life. Doing these things keeps me warm inside, especially on days when I feel hopeless and tired.

Sometimes, we define happiness as something big, something that we can only feel when we finally “get there,” or maybe even depend on how others define it. But we can truly know what real happiness is when we learn to appreciate the small things around us and redefine it on our own.

[prettydumbheart]

The Art of Slowing Down

I have been reading books about adulting to make/ live it “the right way.” Apparently, there’s no right way. It's quite a ride in real life than how it's described in books. There are so many lessons to learn, new people, expectations and deadlines to meet, and fresh opportunities for exploration. It's fast-paced; you're 21 now and the next thing you'll know is, you're 25. You're needed here and there and expected to behave in certain ways to the point that you may sometimes fail to remember to listen to and spend time with yourself too.

Lately, I've grown my fascination with solitude. It's when I can spend time with God on Sundays to navigate my life and heart, go to my local coffee shops, order matcha latte, sit in silence and read a book— a time when I sit with myself to delve deeper into who I am, and ponder about life. This makes time slow down.

Eagles take time alone to rest in order to undergo a process of natural renewal: shedding old feathers to regrow new ones and replacing their beaks which helps them stay healthy, stronger and more resilient in their changing environment. Therefore, if you are tired both emotionally and physically, it's okay to step back for a while to rest in quietness and let God fill you up, even if it's just for a day or two then comeback to do more of the things you love and bring joy and happiness into others.

[prettydumbheart]

Changing Seasons

Little by little this whirlwind will be tamed from autumn to summer breeze both you don't want to miss so go through it for beauty awaits in those two.

[prettydumbheart]

Would I Love It If I Learned It?

I wonder if being in love really means falling

when it visits me it feels like I'm floating

with cold feet, I feel my prickles growing

even my dictionary couldn't define it

is it a thread I can add to my tapestry of knowledge?

[prettydumbheart]

Navigating Adulthood's Whirlwind

Hello, it's me again, but 25 years old this time, which basically means I'm an adult now. I'm so different from the person I used to be before my 20s. I sometimes feel nostalgic about that version of me who loves K-pop so much, who's always energetic and excited about everything. haha I still can't believe that I used to dance in front of massive audience but now I'm this very Zen person who loves reading romcom novels and romanticizing life. WOW!

Adulting is really fast-paced. I get to meet new people with different personalities and dreams, visit new places, try out new food, learn about paying taxes and encounter new experiences in life. Not just that, but there are also some unspoken expectations that I have to live up to, and when I deviate from it, I get pushback. It's like a whirlwind that takes me by the hand and leads me to unknown places. If I don't take the time to be alone, I might lose my way. Not to sound dramatic/poetic but yup, that's how it has been for me. Those past experiences gave me too many butterflies, but I learned to see the beauty in this season of my life. I found me.

I guess I'm writing this to my past and future self that you have to be proud that this present version of you exists and you worked so hard for this version. Thank you for taking the time to pause, disappear, and navigate from time to time, and not letting the world put out that fire in your heart to love and keep doing the things that spark joy in you. Thank you for not letting others' damages damage you. Thank you for being you and not stopping to discover more things about you. I also love how you try to redefine and color life with beautiful hues. Thank you for using the lessons and gifts God has given you. I love your heart. It's not perfect but it's golden and I hope you know that.

[prettydumbheart]

Sunset Sky

In your world I am the sunset sky— when you looked me in the eyes you felt the warmth of my golden hues the sun awakened the fiery red in you when I painted your blue skies pink and as you ventured through the night I was that calming blue unfolding the purple side of you I was that fleeting moment tattooed in your head for I am the sunset sky.

[prettydumbheart]

Pretty Dumb Heart

My pretty dumb heart stained through seasons you planted flowers in the hollow now thistles grow defying all who would be cowed can't utter love when it starts blooming but when the rain clouds come falling your ink won't stop spilling to keep your what ifs breathing.

[prettydumbheart]

I Love You(s)

My hands trembled after what you said a poem sprouts from my heart but thorns never fail to be defensive I cracked a joke like I didn't hear it but my mind grew a garden as your voice echoes in and out and my heart laments for the same words I should have said

[prettydumbheart]

Sun Child

Sweet as a cherry to my ocean blues oh, Tuesday sun three daisies at hand with that smile sundowns are golden pinkish hues are glowing making me count stars in your Aquarius skies

[prettydumbheart]

Loosen Ruby Ring

I breathe you out you breathe me in as I crawl out of this skin you touched me with your ruby ring deep night your words were as sweet as berries you pulled it taut only to want it loosen for you found love easy from another shoulder

[prettydumbheart]

My Poetry

You're someone I can touch but afraid to stain bottling up this feeling now it screams

I watch the flame until it's blue my heart almost succumb to your pull on the brink to end my misery with your company but I chose to turn you into poetry

[prettydumbheart]

A Willing Accomplice

Resisting these buried feelings that you dig the page that I tore and you kissed still burn too much to ashes persisting falling as you did didn't know you to another for that's not what the signs said clueless about the game we're playing but I can't burry what's still breathing can't you just kill it?

[prettydumbheart]

Where The Wildflowers are...

Even the flowers I bought grew tired of waiting and my love's still not awaken my mind sometimes wonders in circles would you be in somewhere crowded or in the coffee shop I go on Sundays? I hope I'm not the hunter because I stopped dancing with cons who call themselves lovers in lieu, I embark on this path where the wildflowers are growing.