philophobia, n. - a fear of love, or falling in love [an NCT fic]
as a rich, socialite party girl queen bee, you’re, honestly, a spoiled brat who gets whatever and whoever she wants. enter two boys who want something from you that you never planned to give up any time soon.
playlist: here (full credit to @hyungjunjpg)
ask the characters tag: here
table of contents;
teaser // one (particular taste) > part two, part three // two (there’s nothing holding me back) > part two // three (kid in love) > part two // four (nervous) // five (fallin’ all in you) > part two // six (lights on) // seven (where were you in the morning?) // eight (lost in japan / no promises / why) // nine (like to be you) // ten (queen) // eleven (ruin) // twelve (i need it / because i had you / three empty words) // thirteen (mutual) // fourteen (perfectly wrong) // fifteen (when you’re ready) // sixteen (crazy) // epilogue (never be alone)
The oneshots are all standalones and aren't directly connected, but they all trace their roots back to this pivotal moment — the story that defines who they are and the complicated love they can never seem to let go of.
While Jaehyun’s character revolves around his idol life in Ilichil, Yuta and Taeyong will also play key roles, as their lives are heavily intertwined with the unfolding of Jaehyun and Y/N’s relationship.
Feedbacks are always welcome!
🍒 YUTA NAKAMOTO
Valentine’s Surprise #2 | wip
From Milan to Paris | wip
Remnants of the night
🌹 TAEYONG
Beneath the Chuseok Moon
Steamy Tokyo Holiday
🍑 JAEHYUN
We’re Unconditionally Timeless
This is the backstory of Jaehyun and Y/N’s tumultuous relationship, the foundation, the beginning of everything—where their relationship starts to unravel and set the stage for what follows.
my definitive @/loseyoutoloveme (ao3) fic ranking + rec list
my favourite author in the entire world, both in fanfiction and outside. i have spent countless hours (and by countless hours i mean it considering the size of their works) reading and adoring nearly each and every piece of work. i love and adore every piece nct jaehyun content they have ever ever ever posted + i have read each one multiple times despite the insane word counts. @/lytlm-authornim i genuinely have NO idea how you manage to floor me every single time, but to all those who have never read their work, please please please do, even if you don't read for jae / nct bc honestly, you'll be amazed
because i genuinely wholeheartedly recommend each piece, i've decided to rank them, ish, in case you don't know where to start!!! even the ones at the 'bottom' would still make my 'my favourite works' list - that's how good they are
icb that just within these fics on this page alone, without any sequels, prequels or spin-offs, i've already read over 2.8 million words of their writing. reading that is just whew incredible, but writing it? lytlm is INCREDIBLE and their talent is just unfathomable and that's why i wanna make sure everyone has had the opportunity to be introduced to their works!!!!!!
these fics are all nct's jeong jaehyun fics with the exception of 1. the list is split up into series and then works up to 3 chapters! and also only includes the first part of a collection if it is part of one. also, please read the tags and warnings of each specific fic!!!!
[SERIES]
amore vecchio non fa ruggine (196k, 21 chapters)
-> f1 driver!au, exes!au ; i'm gonna throw up this is the most perfect au as a ferrari fan >:( soooo well written as always and perfectly paced. made me swoon sooooooo much seriously and they have you rooting for them sooooooo hard
he'll be nobody after tonight (101.6k, 10 chapters)
-> crown princess!yn, college!au, princess diaries 2!au ; i'll actually start crying if i think about this too long, i love these two so much, their love is just URGH so hot and sexy and romantic and sometimes i just cry whenever i think about them in college and shit. so grade a+++++ perfection
the umbrellas against the downpours of remembrance (98.5k, 8 chapters)
-> doctors!au, widow!yn ; i have genuinely never ever cried more at a fic nor has one left such a lasting impression on me for so long afterwards. this deals with grief in the most beautiful of ways and shows love in so many angles. everything is symbolic, everything is beautiful in ways i cannot even begin to verbalize (jh's not the one dying btw!)
at the heart of it all (50.8k ; 4 chapters)
-> college!au, e2l!au ; honestly one of my favourite jaehyuns - we all need a man who loves us for exactly who we are and roots for our successes
by the way i love you (80.9 k, 9 chapters)
-> f1 driver!au, romeo and juliet!au ; they are soooooooooo in love your honour, everything about them is so sweet and perfect and omg i can't stop thinking about them
two stones and one bird are hanging out in their bush! (252.8k, 23 chapters)
-> surgeon!yn, footballer!jh ; himbo jae is the greatest thing on planet earth and yn is soooo badass its amazing and their love is just whewwww i love me an on and off will they wont they
a melancholy weekend in december, or, when the end of us wasn't the end (637.2k, 61 chapters)
-> ballerina!yn, pianist!jh ; it took me a long time to get around to reading this and honestly the word count scared me for a while and also the fact that i didn't know anything about ballet, but this was genuinely soooo worth my time and i binged it all in one go. the plot is just absolutely DELICIOUS and this story was gut-wrenching in soooooooo many ways that i can't even begin to explain. you just have to try to read it, pls give it a chance
you were just for me (75.8k, 7 chapters)
-> figure skater!jh, hockey player!yn, e2l!au ; i LOVE sports fics and this one is like on another level.
the most joyous fete of misery (301.4k, 29 chapters)
-> corporate!au? ; if you love a slow burn and love triangles this is the one for you, honestly just an incredible plot that has you yearning
stitch your heart upon the blossom of mine (435.1k, 38 chapters)
-> politics!au, somewhat of a soulmate!au ; i don't even know how to tag this, but the world-building in this story is genuinely next level insanity like so detailed and everything has a place and reason. it's so well written i am still astounded to this day
the horizon of his heart is the closest place to safety (57.4k, 7 chapters)
-> tour guide!jh, rich!yn, summer vacation!au ; i looooove me a holiday romance, this is soooo sweet
ah, she's here, time to wake up (185k, 19 chapters)
-> prince!jh, sleeping beauty?au ; genuinely one of the funniest things i've ever read, just incredible and unhinged, but also still works perfectly and is incredibly creative - prince jaehyun of the past wakes up in modern time
his biggest secret is yours. you want the little ones too (157k, 16 chapters)
-> ib batman?!au
i needed you with me wherever i went (63k, 7 chapters)
-> bodyguard!jh
something or nothing, you and me (90k, 11 chapters)
-> politics!au, e2l!au
[ONESHOTS/TWOSHOTS/THREESHOTS]
there is good and great and decent, but never perfect [NCT'S KIM DOYOUNG] (32.5k, 2 chapters)
-> college!au, forbidden love!au ; genuinely one of theeeee most amazing fics i've ever read, just everything about it is perfection i promise
later, loser! (49k, 2 chapters)
-> ib regina george x rodrick heffley ; that's all you need to know tbh. insane masterpiece.
i don't know anything about you, but yes (34k)
-> maid!jh ; the plot twist is DELICIOUS it's so sweet i love
kiss me. kiss me? (28.1k)
-> college!au, school reunion!au ; hgwh oh i'm actually on the floor and you will be too after you finish it i promise
jingle some balls, jingle ball rock into my arms (36.2k)
-> holidays!au, christmas party!au ; more lighthearted and fun
[11:15pm]: pretty please? (34.3k, 3 chapters)
you're the loveliest, lemon drop (54.9k, 3 chapters)
-> singer!jh
it all comes back to this (41k, 3 chapters)
-> reunion!au
[UNRANKED]
make me a star to forever orbit his sun [currently in progress]
Could not agree more, I love re-reading every single one of their fics and I get something out of each read. The best. Literally, perfection every time.
Pairing: jeong jaehyun x female reader | ft. johnny suh, kim doyoung, kim jungwoo
Genre: angst
Warnings: alcohol intoxication, relationship struggles, fertility issues
Word Count: 1805
Summary: After a night of heavy drinking, words slipped out of a wasted Jaehyun. Revealing hidden concerns about your relationship that unintentionally wounded you.
Jaehyun had attended their stylist Kim Youngjin’s wedding with Johnny, Doyoung, Jungwoo, and Mark. Knowing they’d likely be drinking during dinner, you offered to pick them up at the end of the night.
You arrived at the pickup point right on time, as Jaehyun had told you the ceremony would end then. But what you didn’t expect was to find your ever composed boyfriend, known for his high alcohol tolerance barely able to stand, with Johnny and Jungwoo on either side trying to keep him upright.
You quickly got out of the driver’s seat and hurried over. “Gosh, how much did he drink?” you muttered as you reached for him.
Jungwoo gave you a sheepish smile. “Sorry, noona... we really tried to get him to slow down.”
You let out a sigh, shaking your head as you looked at your very wasted boyfriend.
“We’ll come along too, if that’s okay,” Johnny offered. “We can help you get him upstairs.”
“That would be a huge help. Thank you,” you said sincerely.
The moment Jaehyun saw you, he reached out and latched onto your hand, refusing to let go.
“I’ll drive,” Doyoung said, gently taking the keys from your hand. “You sit with him in the back.”
“Well, looks like I don’t have a choice,” you replied, sliding into the backseat beside Jaehyun. “What would I do without you guys... Oh, where’s Mark?”
“He had a schedule and had to leave earlier,” Johnny explained as he buckled in.
Once everyone was settled, Doyoung started the car. Jaehyun leaned into you, eyes barely open, mumbling your name.
You rested his head on your shoulder, trying to keep him steady. The others chatted lightly about the wedding, how blissful the couple looked and laughed over how adorable Youngjin’s daughter had been as the ring bearer.
Then, Jaehyun mumbled, “Y/n… I really wanna marry you… but I’m not ready.”
You turned to him, stunned. The words hung in the air, heavy. You’d talked about marriage after his military service, but to hear this, in such a vulnerable state, made you question everything again.
The boys knew things hadn’t been smooth between the two of you lately. The tension in the car shifted instantly, and the conversation died.
But then Jaehyun muttered again, this time barely audible: “Youngjin hyung’s daughter was so cute… I want a daughter too… but we can’t have one, right…”
Another blow. You froze. The quiet mention of your fertility struggles, the very thing that’s been weighing on your relationship, it felt like a dagger.
You gently eased Jaehyun off your shoulder, though your touch was hesitant, almost as if you didn’t fully want to let go. You turned away, staring out the window, blinking rapidly to hold back tears. Jungwoo, catching the shift, pulled him toward his side of the seat.
Johnny glanced back, trying to ease the moment. “Don’t mind him,” he said softly. “He really just had too much.”
The drive home was quiet. Awkward, even. Tension hung in the air like mist, and no one dared break it.
With the boys around, you didn’t need to lift a finger. They helped Jaehyun out of the car and up to the apartment, with the kind of care that didn’t need explaining.
They brought Jaehyun into your shared room, laying him carefully on the bed.
“It’s too late to get a cab home,” you said softly once everyone was inside. “Just stay the night.” They exchanged a few glances but nodded without hesitation.
As hurt as you were, love still anchored your hands. You changed him into more comfortable clothes, wiped him down, and tucked him in like you always did. Only this time, the routine felt different. He had no idea how deeply he'd wounded you, and yet your care hadn’t faltered.
You washed up in silence, then slipped under the covers and turned to face him. He was already fast asleep, his expression calm, unaware of the weight he’d left on your chest. You stared at him for a while, thoughts circling, emotions tangled. You were too exhausted to keep thinking, but your heart wouldn’t quiet. Sleep eventually found you, heavy and dreamless.
The next morning, you rose before everyone else and quietly prepared breakfast. The smell of eggs and toast slowly drew the others out of the guest room, one by one, each offering a soft “morning” as they settled at the table.
You joined them at the table, trying to keep your smiles light as the boys chatted casually, catching up with one another. Their laughter filled the space, warm and familiar, almost enough to distract you for a bit.
Then, footsteps echoed in the hallway. Steady and familiar. Jaehyun.
Jaehyun entered the kitchen, hair tousled and eyes still heavy with sleep. He walked over and leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your cheek, just like he always did. “Good morning,” he mumbled, voice rough and soft.
You didn’t respond.
He frowned slightly and sat down, glancing at you again. “Are you okay?” he asked, this time more alert.
You didn’t meet his gaze. Instead, you set down your cup and stood slowly.
“I’m done,” you said softly, then turned and walked back to the bedroom, shutting the door behind you.
Jaehyun sat frozen in his seat, confused. He looked around at the others for an explanation.
Doyoung cleared his throat and finally spoke, “You don’t remember what you said last night… Do you?”
Jaehyun blinked. “What?”
“You said some things in the car,” Johnny added gently. “Things you probably didn’t mean to say. But you said them anyway.”
A sinking feeling settled in his chest. He didn’t know what he had said exactly, but the weight in the room and the pain etched on your face told him everything, whatever it was, it had wounded you deeply.
Jaehyun’s brows furrowed, confusion knitting deeper into his face. He looked from Johnny to Doyoung, then to Jungwoo, whose eyes were downcast.
“…What did I say?” he asked quietly, almost afraid to know.
The boys exchanged glances. No one spoke at first.
Doyoung finally sighed, putting his chopsticks down. “You said you wanted to marry her… but you’re not ready.”
Jaehyun froze.
“You also mentioned wanting a daughter,” Johnny added carefully. “… and brought up the fertility stuff.”
Jaehyun’s eyes widened. “I…what?”
“You were out of it, hyung,” Jungwoo said gently. “None of it came out like a conversation. It was more like… pieces. Thoughts. Things you’ve been holding in, maybe.”
Jaehyun sat back, the weight of their words sinking in. Shame washed over him like cold water.
Doyoung added quietly, “We know it’s been tough for both of you. But hearing it like that… it was painful.”
Jaehyun swallowed hard, “Did she hear all of it?”
Doyoung nodded. “Yeah. She didn’t say a word after. Just looked out the window the whole ride home.”
“She didn’t even want to push you off when you clung to her,” Jungwoo added. “She just… froze.”
He ran a hand through his hair, breath catching in his throat. “Shit… I didn’t mean any of this.”
“We know,” Johnny said carefully. “You should talk to her,” Johnny said gently.
With a slow nod, Jaehyun rose, feeling the weight of what he’d done settle heavily on him.
He knew he might have fractured something fragile, but facing it was the only way forward. He had to fix it, no matter what it took.
Jaehyun stood outside the bedroom door, his hand hovering just above the knob. The silence inside made the space between heartbeats feel longer. He exhaled slowly, then knocked, voice quiet.
“Y/N… can I come in?”
No answer.
Another pause. Then, the soft sound of the door unlocking.
He pushed it open slowly and stepped inside. You were sitting on the edge of the bed, your back turned to him, still in your sleep shirt, shoulders stiff.
He approached cautiously, unsure of where to begin.
“I… I don’t remember saying those things,” he said, voice strained, “but I’m not going to pretend they didn’t come from somewhere. I’m really sorry.”
You didn’t look at him. Your hands were in your lap, fingers curled slightly. He noticed your fingers curled slightly around a crumpled tissue, used.
“I wasn’t ready to hear them like that,” you whispered, your voice low and trembling. Not broken into half sentences… not slurred through the haze of too many drinks.”
“I know, and I’m sorry,” he said, sinking down to his knees in front of you. “I should’ve told you before. I should’ve told you everything.”
You finally looked at him, your eyes glassy with unshed tears, “So it’s true?”
He didn’t answer right away. He searched your expression for a place to land, but all he saw was pain, pain that he was the cause of.
“I do want to marry you,” he said slowly, honestly. “More than anything. But I’m scared, y/n. Not of you. I’m scared of messing this up. That I won’t be enough. Especially after everything we’ve been through.”
Your throat tightened. “And the baby?”
“Last night… Youngjin hyung’s daughter reminded me of what I want. What we want. And how much it hurts not knowing if we’ll ever have that,” he said, voice cracking. “I didn’t mean it to sound like it’s your fault. It’s not. None of it is.”
Your tears finally fell, slow and silent.
“I know we said we’d wait until after your enlistment to talk about everything again,” you said, “but hearing you say you’re not ready, after we’ve tried so hard to hold on these past few months… it really felt like the beginning of the end.”
“No,” Jaehyun said firmly, reaching out to take your hands. “Don’t say that. That was me at my worst. But us, what we have, it’s still everything to me. Even if we’re bruised, even if things aren’t perfect. I’m not giving up on us. I never will.”
You looked at him for a long moment, your silence louder than anything in the room.
“I’m not giving up on us either. I want us to come back to this with a full heart, not a bruised one. And you... you need to learn how to speak from your heart, before the hurt finds its way out first.” You admitted.
He nodded, swallowing hard. “I know I’ve hurt you… but I want to be better. For you. For us. I just… I need you to know I’m not letting go.”
There was a pause. Then you reached out and gently touched his cheek.
“I love you” Brief, but grounding. Then quieter still, “I love you even more.”
Your voice trembled just slightly. “I don’t want to lose you,”
summary: They broke each other’s hearts without meaning to.
Now fate’s pulled them close again — but nothing’s the same, and nothing’s simple.
One message. One night. One last chance to get it right.
warnings: explicit sexual content (18+), strong language, emotional vulnerability, angst, kissing, crying, avoidant attachment OC, bad communication, arguments
wc: 7,5K
notes: I did my best to make each of their perspectives understandable, but it's legitimate for everyone to take a side on here. Ultimately, i don't think any of them were in the wrong. In my head, they're real people, and real people aren't perfect, which doesn't make them bad people. This is a story about human emotions, in all its complexity.
"I'm seeing someone else."
You still remember the words falling from Jaehyun’s lips—raw, sudden, unfiltered — right after he’d made love to you like it meant something. Your breath hadn’t even steadied yet, your skin still tingling from the heat.
You looked to your side, his profile staring up at the ceiling above you. "What the fuck, Jaehyun," you mumbled, your voice low. You looked for a long time. His throat moved, his adam's apple going up and down as he swallowed hard. "And did you consider maybe starting there, before fucking me?"
“I needed to see you. One last time.” His voice was thick, heavy with what sounded like shame.
You stayed where you were, tangled in him, head resting on his outstretched arm, limbs still joined. You squinted at the side of his face, searching for regret in it, some trace of remorse. But all you found was silence. Then, your own voice broke through: dry, almost fragile. “Get out of my house.”
He didn’t flinch. Didn’t even look your way. Just sat up in your bed, reached for his clothes, and muttered a quiet, “I’m sorry, angel,” on his way out, before closing the door quietly behind him, leaving your house like he had never been there at all.
And you’d be lying if you said it didn’t break you. You’d be lying if you said your pillow wasn’t soaked with tears that night, or that you didn’t spend the next week dissecting every moment with your best friend, wondering where it all went wrong.
You’d be lying if you said it didn’t shatter you all over again — one month later — to see him across the room, sitting across a table from the girl he had chosen instead. The same girl he had left you for. That night, your heart splintered in a thousand new directions.
You met Jaehyun on a train. He was seated across from you, headphones in, sketching something in a small notebook. You hadn’t noticed him at first, too focused on the cracked screen of your phone. But when he got up without a word to let an elderly woman sit, you looked up—and caught his face. Clean lines, tired eyes, quiet.
A week later, same train. This time, he noticed you first. “You again,” he said with a small smile.
You raised a brow. “Am I being followed?”
“Maybe it’s destiny,” he replied, almost joking - but not quite - and flashed a smile that was all charm and warmth. You exchanged numbers before getting off at your stop.
Things unfolded quietly. He texted you for the first time to ask if you’d ever tried Korean cold noodles at midnight in winter. When you said no, he took you to a tiny place with fogged-up windows and metal tables. It was a dark, cold night, in the late hours of the dawn. You ate with gloves on, and he told you about how his grandma used to make him that exact dish when he was a kid. You didn’t say much, but you listened. And he noticed.
Another time, he took you to a bookshop café where he never read the books, just picked titles he thought sounded like you—"The Art of Quiet Chaos," "We Were Never Here," "On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous." He didn’t say why. He just passed them across the table with a smirk, as if they were private jokes only he understood.
One night, after you told him you'd had a particularly hard day in uni, he brought you to an abandoned rooftop. He said he used to sneak there when the world got too loud. You brought coffee in a flask. He brought his silence and listened to you vent. Then, you sat side by side watching the night sky full of stars. And at the end of the night, he gave you a soft goodnight kiss that left you wanting more.
And all this time, you didn’t notice how he looked at you when you weren’t paying attention. You didn’t catch the way his shoulders relaxed when you laughed, or how he memorised the exact way you stirred your drinks.
And when you did notice, you chose not to say anything.
And then, after one particularly still evening—just the two of you wandering a half-empty museum—he parked the car outside your building and didn’t kill the engine. “What are we doing?” he asked, hands loose on the steering wheel, voice light but careful.
You blinked. “You’re giving me a ride home?” you teased.
He chuckled under his breath but didn’t drop it. “No, really. What is this?"
You turned to face him fully, one leg tucked beneath you. “I don’t know. I’m enjoying this, Jaehyun. Do we have to label it?”
A few minutes went by with no answer and then ,you saw jaehyun nodding his head slowly. “So you’re not looking for something serious,” he said—not as a question, but as a confirmation. His tone cooled just enough to make you look at him twice.
“I’m not,” you admitted. “Not because I don’t like you. I do. I just... I’m not ready for something that demands so much. I like my space. I like my freedom. I like not having to explain myself to anyone.”
He nodded again. “Of course.”
And that was that.
Only it wasn’t.
Because after that, something in him dimmed. Jaehyun, who would always stop your makeout sessions when they got a little too heated because he wanted to 'take it slow with you', was quick to fuck you against your mattress the night right after that conversation.
He stopped texting you about the weird street musician he saw on his walk home. Stopped sending you photos of sunsets he knew you'd love. Stopped making time for you between the chaos that was the life of a STEM student.
But you didn't question it because, in your eyes, he was doing everything right - not drowning you in attention, not invading your space, and giving you just the right amount of passion. You figured this was just what happened. The natural slowing down. The balancing of desire and distance. Besides, he still made you feel alive whenever he touched you. And that was enough.
Or so you told yourself.
You had always, throughout your whole life, had some problems with committing to relationships. It was hard for you to give up your independence, had always been. So the relationship you established with jaehyun was perfect for you. You got to enjoy your single independent life as well as the joys of having a loving man beside you.
Until he left you naked in your bed, after fucking your brains out, without as much as an explanation.
And it got ten times worse when you sat down in front of your way-too-nice date on a random tuesday, just to look over his shoulder and see jaehyun. His eyes on you. Unmoving.
You froze.
For a moment, you forgot how to smile, how to breathe, how to pretend. The glass in your hand felt suddenly too cold, too heavy. You blinked, once, twice, hoping it was someone else.
But it wasn’t. It was him. His dark hair was longer than you remembered, the ends brushing his cheekbones. Still as handsome as you remembered. His hands rested on the table, fingers tapping a silent rhythm you used to feel against your spine, on nights he would come to make you company.
The restaurant was dimly lit, small, quiet in that urban way: the low hum of conversation, the clinking of cutlery, jazz humming faintly through the ceiling speakers. You had picked it because it wasn’t trendy. Because you didn’t think anyone you knew would be there.
But there he was.
The girl across from him was pretty. Blonde hair, clean laugh, elegant hands with manicured nails around a glass of wine. The complete opposite of you. She reached across the table to wipe something from the corner of his mouth. He didn’t pull away like it was a familiar feeling. Familiar enough to gut you.
And yet his eyes never left you.
You forced your gaze back to your date. To his ocean-blue eyes and curly hair. You tried to focus on his voice — something about his cousin’s dog and a hiking trail with a view of the city you didn't give two shits about when jaehyun's sweet brown eyes were right there.
You nodded to what he said. Laughed when it seemed appropriate.
But all you could feel was the heat rising in your chest, your throat tightening around a lump you hadn’t invited.
You found the bathroom after mumbling something about needing to check your lipstick. Your hands shook as you pushed open the door and locked it behind you. Sat on the closed lid of the toilet and stared at the tiled floor, tracing the cracks like they were a map out of this moment. You got up and leaned over the sink, staring at your reflection, makeup still intact but your skin was pale and your eyes distant.
The air in the bathroom smelled like lemon-scented cleaner and anxiety. You gripped the edge of the sink with both hands, grounding yourself with pressure. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out.
You closed your eyes. But even in the dark behind your eyelids, you saw him.
Jaehyun at the noodle shop, laughing into his palm when you couldn’t use the metal chopsticks properly. Jaehyun tracing the curve of your knee absentmindedly while reading something on his phone. Jaehyun gifting you a book with a pink sticky note inside that just said, “it made me think of you.”
For some reason, you couldn't shake the feeling of heavy guilt from your chest, even knowing he was the one walking out on you.
Your fingers trembled slightly as you opened your phone. No notifications. Not from him. Not from anyone that mattered.
You splashed water on your cheeks, trying to keep your makeup spotless. Patted your face dry, and walked back out. You didn’t look toward Jaehyun’s table. You didn’t have to.
You felt his gaze follow you anyway.
Later that night, after dodging the tentative kiss of your unsuccessful date, you laid in bed, but sleep didn’t come easily.
You reached for your phone, instinctively. Scrolled past the messages you’d archived a month ago just to avoid seeing his name. But tonight, you opened them. Scrolled through them and watched them grow shorter, colder, until the effort started to dissolve into silence.
You closed the messages.
Locked the phone.
Stared at the ceiling until the sun came up.
Four days passed.
You were lying on your couch, curled sideways like a comma, the light from the window pale and watery. One sock on. The other was lost somewhere in the kitchen.
Your phone buzzed once. Then twice.
No anticipation. Just muscle memory. You reached for it, already expecting some useless notification—an ad, a group chat, something about the deadlines you’d been ignoring.
But it was him.
Jaehyun:
the bookstore café’s shut down
thought of you
You stared at the screen, blinking slowly.
It didn’t say much. It never did, with him. But the weight it carried was absurd. Of all the things he could’ve said. Of all the ways to reach out. Your thumb hovered over the reply field. You could pretend not to see it.
But you rolled your jaw slightly and typed back:
Y/n:
random
didn’t think you still thought about stuff like that
The message was read instantly. A minute passed.
Jaehyun:
I don’t. just walked by it
not that deep.
You shook your head, your mouth tightening. The way he said - casual, like you were just a passing thought. A book he once read, now covered in dust.
Y/n:
then why the fuck text me that in the first place?
you lost the right to text me at all the second you walked out
I mean, the second you fucked me and then walked out
The typing bubble flickered into view. Then disappeared. Then came back.
Jaehyun:
I just didn't know how to bring it up
I didn’t lie to you
you think I meant for it to go like that?
You felt real anger stir in your chest and scoffed. Actually scoffed. Alone in your apartment, with your phone in your hand and your jaw tight.
Y/n:
no, I think you’re a coward
you just didn’t want to say anything until after you got what you wanted
sex
classic
so yeah, maybe don’t text me when you pass coffee shops.
I’m not a fucking souvenir
That one made him take longer.
Jaehyun:
don’t do that
I asked to be serious, you said no, I moved on
anyway, I didn’t reach out to fight with you
Y/n:
I said I wasn’t ready yet. not that I didn’t want to be with you
but you didn’t even give it a chance
you just backed off
The three dots danced again.
Jaehyun:
I left because I knew what I wanted, and you didn’t
you said not to label it, so I didn’t
don’t rewrite that now just because you’re mad
Y/n:
so you think what you did was right?
pretending that what we had meant nothing?
Jaehyun:
it did mean something
that’s why I didn’t want to keep dragging it out
things would only get worse for me
You swallowed.
Y/n:
oh yeah, poor you. you're an angel
Jaehyun:
jesus, Y/N
it was one message
that's all it was
You stared at the last one for a while. Your phone screen dimmed. Then lit up again when you touched it.
You didn’t want to reply. You wanted to throw your phone against the wall, or maybe press call and scream at him just to hear how calm he’d be on the other end.
But instead, your thumbs moved again.
Y/n:
was it all meaningless to you?
A pause. Long enough to feel like maybe he wouldn’t answer. Then he did.
Jaehyun:
none of it was meaningless to me
I left because it was the opposite of that
you're the one who pushed me away in the first place
That one got under your skin. You sat up straighter, chest tight.
Y/n:
can you stop blaming me for that?
last time I checked you left me for someone else
you pulled away first
you changed the second I said I wasn’t ready for labels
you stopped calling. You stopped showing up
didn't even try
you were halfway out the door before I even pushed it
Another pause.
Jaehyun:
I wanted something solid
you wanted space
I gave it to you
Y/n:
you didn’t give me space
you gave up
He didn’t answer right away. You locked your phone. Set it down. Not noticing how your eyes had teared up. Picked it back up. Reopened his chat.
Jaehyun:
and you never asked me to stay
not once
And there it was - the guilt you had been pushing down in your chest ever since he left you that night. But you ignored it.
Y/n:
I didn’t think I had to
I thought you’d stay because you wanted to be with me
stupid of me, I guess
Read. No reply. You were about to lock your phone again when—
Jaehyun:
y/n.
you told me how you liked your freedom
how you didn’t do labels
how you weren’t ready
I tried to believe that was enough. that maybe I could live in the in-between with you
but I couldn’t
so I left
what's so wrong about that?
You breathed in slowly. And typed.
Y/n:
it's how you did it, jaehyun
you never communicated how you felt
and when you finally decided you'd had enough of me, you fucked me one last time and left me crying
and now you're here
texting me about a fucking café
Another pause.
Jaehyun:
I thought about you
that’s it
didn’t expect it to turn into this
You sat there, chewing the inside of your cheek.
You didn’t know if you were more hurt by his honesty or by how casual he still sounded.
Y/n:
well it did
There was a long pause. You thought maybe that would be the end of it. That he’d finally shut up and disappear like he always did.
But then you saw him writing and deleting multiple times. Before it struck you.
Jaehyun:
can we meet?
just talk, clear the air
You didn’t want to go.
You told yourself that three times while putting on your coat. Five more on the bus ride there. And again while standing across the street from the park, half-convinced you’d just walk past and go home.
But you didn’t. Because a part of you wanted to see him. Needed to know if the way he’d left you—so quietly, so cruelly—had haunted him even half as much as it had haunted you.
The park was mostly empty. Overgrown grass, cracked pavement, that fountain that hadn’t worked in years. There was a sharp chill in the air, enough to cut through your sweater. You crossed your arms tighter, more for comfort than warmth.
And there he was.
Sitting on the edge of a bench like it was nothing. Like this was any other day. Jaehyun. His elbows rested on his knees, staring at the cracked pavement in front of him. His hair was messier than usual, curls pushed back with one hand like he’d been running his fingers through it over and over. His black hoodie was too thin for the weather.
He looked exactly like you remembered. You hated that you noticed all of it.
He didn't see you at first. You approached slowly, and he looked up as you did. His face stayed neutral — unreadable in the way that used to drive you insane. He stood when you got close, but didn’t move forward. Didn’t smile. Didn’t say your name. Just gave a slow nod, like you were business.
"Hey."
You didn’t say anything at first. You stayed where you were, the cold wind brushing over your skin and dark curly hair, your heartbeat loud in your ears. “I’m here,” you said eventually. “So talk.”
He nodded again, like he didn’t expect anything else. Gestured to the bench. “You can sit. If you want.”
You didn’t. “I’ll stand.”
He sat back down, leaned forward, elbows on his knees again, fingers threading together. His eyes stayed low. “I don’t have a whole speech planned or anything,” he said. “Wasn’t trying to make this into something it’s not.”
You snorted under your breath. “Right. I didn't expect you to.”
His jaw flexed. “I just thought it made sense to talk. In person.”
You didn’t answer. Just looked at him—really looked. The same long lashes. The same damn mouth you’d kissed a hundred times without thinking. And now, the sight of him made your throat ache.
He ran a hand through his hair, kept his eyes forward. “The way things ended… it didn’t feel right.”
You laughed once, short and humourless. “You think that’s what this is? You trying to make things feel right?”
Jaehyun didn’t look at you. “I didn’t plan that night like that.”
You took a sharp breath. “Yeah. Like it wasn’t a choice.”
“It wasn’t meant to go like that.”
“But it did,” you cut in, voice tight. “You knew exactly what you were doing. You fucked me, and then, when you got what you wanted, looked me in the eyes, and told me you were seeing someone. You think that doesn’t sound like it was very well planned?”
His head turned fast. “That’s not fair.”
“Oh, sorry,” you said, teeth clenched. “Am I being unfair now?”
“You said you didn’t want anything serious.”
“I said I wasn’t ready,” you hissed. “Not that I didn’t care. It's not the same thing.”
"It felt the same!" he snapped, finally standing up. His voice was louder now, sharper. "You kept saying you liked your space, your freedom — that you didn’t need anyone. What the hell was I supposed to think, Y/N? You wanted me close but not too close. Wanted my heart but wouldn't give yours back."
Your eyebrows furrowed. "And you never gave me a chance to! You pulled away first. You decided I wasn’t worth waiting for."
“I waited,” he said, stepping closer. “I waited longer than you think. I kept hoping you’d just say something. Anything. That maybe one day you’d look at me and decide you wanted me the same way I wanted you. But you didn’t. You never did.”
“And so what?” you shot back. “You gave up? Just like that? You didn't even try.”
He let out a sharp laugh, bitter. "Try? I was the only one trying. You think getting you books that reminded me of you wasn’t trying? Showing up when you were stressed out, taking you for midnight rides, listening to your rants and to your silences — that wasn’t me trying?"
You stepped forward now too, close enough to see the wetness brimming in his eyes. “Then why’d you leave right after sleeping with me, Jaehyun? Why wait until after sex to tell me you were seeing someone?!”
“Because I didn’t know how to say goodbye to you!” he shouted, and his voice cracked. “Because if I’d told you before, you’d never have let me close. And I was fucking desperate to be close to you one last time. Is that what you want to hear?”
Your heart thundered in your chest. “So I was just a body to you? A goodbye fuck?”
“No!” he barked. “No, you were never just a body. Don’t you dare twist this.”
You shook your head, voice trembling now. “You didn’t just break my heart, Jaehyun. You made me feel disposable. Like all of that — everything — was only real for me.”
He stepped back, breathing hard. His hands were trembling. “It was real. All of it. That’s why it hurt so much to stay. I wanted more. I needed more. And you—” his voice cracked again, “—you didn’t.”
“And you couldn’t wait,” you said, voice low but fierce. “You couldn’t believe I’d eventually come around. You just had to run.”
“I couldn’t keep waiting for someone who never even asked me to!”
Silence fell over the both of you then, heavy and breathless. Neither of you moved.
He blinked, once, twice. Looked away, stepping away and rubbing one hand over his face. His voice, when it came, was quieter. “Shit. I didn’t mean to scream at you.”
You exhaled shakily, nodding. Your eyes were wet.
Another silence. One that said too much.
You sat down finally, feeling your legs shake beneath you. The bench was cold against your skin. A moment later, Jaehyun sat down too, but kept space between you.
“I saw you,” you said. “At the restaurant.”
He didn’t ask where. He didn’t ask when. “I didn’t know you’d be there,” he said softly.
“She touched your face like she knew it. Like it belonged to her.”
He looked at you, and his voice cracked when he said, “It doesn’t.”
You looked away. Your voice was quieter now. “Then why didn’t you come back?”
“I didn’t think you wanted me to.”
“You could’ve asked.”
“I’m asking now,” he said.
And your heart stopped.
Just for a second — but it was enough. Enough to make the cold in your bones feel like fire. Enough to make your ribs ache from how tightly your lungs refused to expand.
You didn’t answer. Couldn’t. Something behind your ribs was clenching too tight, too painfully. A wall you’d built so carefully trembling at the seams. Commitment had always tasted like surrender to you — and now it loomed in his eyes like a quiet plea.
He saw it. The hesitation. The panic flickering beneath your expression. Your lips parted like you were about to say something — but no words came.
Jaehyun’s eyes dropped. And when he spoke, there was no anger left in him. Only a tired sort of softness, laced with something that felt like resignation.
“Let me take you home,” he said.
You looked at him. At the slope of his shoulders. The way he didn’t reach for your hand this time.
And then you both stood. Side by side. Not quite touching.
And walked. The bus stop wasn't far but you decided to walk your way home, because part of you didn't want your time with him to come to an end. Because there was still so much left to say.
It was quiet at first. The city had started to slow down, the occasional bike passing by, distant chatter from someone’s open window. You watched your own breath cloud in front of you.
He was the one to speak first. “You still pulling all-nighters for anatomy?”
You jokingly rolled your eyes at the topic. "All-nighters? Please, I’ve become nocturnal. I am the night."
He chuckled, then glanced at you — the laughter fading quickly.
You glanced at him. “Still at the lab until midnight?”
He scratched the back of his neck. “Most nights. It’s worse now. Deadlines stacked like hell.”
You nodded again. The silence returned, but it was different this time. Not cold. Just… tentative. He kicked at a loose stone on the sidewalk. “Does your best friend think I’m an asshole?”
You let out a breath — the closest thing to a laugh you could manage. “She has her reasons.”
He looked over at you, something like a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Fair.”
The walk stretched into another few blocks. Comfortable conversation between you, catching up on what you missed in each other's lives in the last month. You didn’t say to turn left where you normally would because he knew his way to your place like it was his own. When you reached your building, he hesitated at the gate.
You opened the gate and turned back to look at his calm face, soft smile, and understanding eyes. And then he mumbled, "I'll see you around."
Three days later.
You didn’t mean to text him. You really didn’t.
You’d gone the whole day pretending you weren’t still thinking about that day. About the way his eyes watered slightly, just enough for you to notice, when he raised his voice at you for the first time. About the way he looked at you like he did when it all began. Just to whisper a low 'let me take you home' with hopeless eyes full of restraint as his hand didn't even come near yours during the walk, just to end up pulling away completely.
You could still feel it — the moment slipping between your fingers. The weight of his presence. The ache of everything unspoken.
And maybe, in the back of your mind, a quiet voice had already started to admit it: That it hadn’t just been him. That your inability to commit, your insistence on space and detachment, had pushed him into the arms of something simpler.
So when you found yourself standing in the kitchen, staring into the open fridge, your thumb moved without permission.
Y/N:
do you remember the name of that noodle place you took me to once?
the one with no sign and metal tables. near the station, I think.
You hit send. And instantly regretted it.
Not because it was too much — but because it was too obvious. Because you didn’t ask how he was, or say you missed him, or apologise. You asked about noodles. And yet, you knew both of you would read between every line.
He read it almost immediately. No typing bubble. Just silence.
Then finally:
Jaehyun:
Seong’s.
the place with the tiny stools and the broken heater.
You smiled — small, involuntary — because of course he remembered the heater. You’d both frozen your asses off that night and still stayed until they kicked you out. You were the last two people in the whole restaurant, gloved hands wrapped around tin bowls, breath fogging up the windows.
Y/N:
yeah.
I walked past the street today and thought of it.
thought of you too.
You waited. This time, the typing bubble came almost immediately.
Jaehyun:
I think about you more than I should.
don't know what to do with it.
Your heart thumped once, then again — slow, painful, deliberate.
You sat down on the cold tile floor, back against the fridge, and typed slowly.
Y/N:
I’m not really sure what I’m doing either.
I hate how we left things.
i feel like there are still a lot of things to say
Another pause. You thought he might back away now. That you’d pushed the door open too far.
But then:
Jaehyun:
i still don't know where you stand on this
are we gonna repeat the same cycle?
You blinked.
The quiet truth of it hit you somewhere low in the gut.
Y/N:
I don’t know.
I think maybe I already ruined it.
He took longer this time. But you waited. You waited because for once, this wasn’t about being right. It was about being honest.
Jaehyun:
you didn't.
Your eyes burned suddenly. You tilted your head back against the cold door, blinking hard.
And then you typed:
Y/N:
do you want to come over?
Another long pause. You imagined him — sitting on the edge of his bed, hand running through his hair, probably staring at your message like he was afraid it was a trick.
But then
Jaehyun:
I’ll be there in twenty.
You locked your phone. Got up slowly. The fridge door still hung open, humming quietly behind you.
And for the first time in days, you didn’t feel quite so cold.
When the buzzer rang, your breath caught. You stood frozen for a second, eyes fixed on the door like you weren’t sure you were ready to open it.
But your feet moved anyway. The lock clicked. The door opened.
And there he was.
Jaehyun stood in the doorway, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket, hair a little messy from the wind, eyes darker than usual beneath the yellow hallway light.
You stepped aside to let him in, wordless, and he brushed past you quietly, his shoulder grazing yours.
You didn’t expect the silence to feel this loud.
Jaehyun stood in the middle of your living room like he wasn’t sure if he should take his shoes off or leave altogether. His eyes flicked to the couch, then to the floor, then—finally—to you.
You’d never seen him look like that before. Not angry. Not cold. Just… unsure. The usually so relaxed, nonchalant guy didn't know what to do with himself.
You rubbed your arm absently, suddenly aware of the too-quiet air between you, of the slight tremble in your breath, of how small this space felt with him in it again.
“You can sit,” you said softly, not quite meeting his eyes. “If you want.”
He nodded once, then lowered himself to the edge of the couch like he was afraid of sinking too deep into anything.
You sat beside him.
For a while, neither of you spoke.
It wasn’t uncomfortable, exactly. But it wasn’t easy, either. It was something else — like the space between you was fragile, waiting to be handled gently or shattered.
Your knees were barely brushing, and even that small contact made your skin feel too warm.
You glanced sideways at him. He was looking straight ahead, jaw tight, fingers laced together in his lap like he didn’t trust his hands.
“Can't believe that plant is still here,” he said quietly after a moment, looking at the dry flower you kept in your living room. “That same plant that’s always half dying.”
You let out a breathy laugh. “It’s resilient.”
“Or just neglected.”
That made you smile, a little. He didn’t.
When you turned toward him, your shoulder brushed his, and you could feel him tense beside you.
But you didn’t pull away, and neither did he.
Your eyes met.
And for a second, nothing else existed.
The room fell away. The city. The noise. The weeks. The girl he sat across from. The fear. The hesitation. The version of yourself you’d been clinging to that told you love was something you weren’t meant to hold.
None of that mattered in this breath.
You glanced at him. So many moments between you had burned, fizzled, slipped. And still, he was here. You had told yourself you didn’t need anyone. But right now, in this breathless quiet, you weren’t so sure. “I miss you,” you whispered.
It came out quieter than you meant it to — not dramatic, not even deliberate. Just honest.
He blinked. His jaw shifted, his lips parting slightly like he wasn’t sure if he should admit anything.
Then he said it.
“I never stopped missing you.”
You didn’t think. You just moved.
Your lips met in a crash of silence. There was no hesitance now — no soft lean-ins, no caution. Just heat. Raw, unfiltered heat.
The kiss stole the air from your lungs. It was gasping, hungry, too much and not enough all at once. Your hands gripped his shoulders like you were grounding yourself, his fingers already at your waist, pulling, tugging — desperate to be closer.
His mouth tasted like tension. Like weeks of withheld words and nights spent remembering the taste of you. He groaned into your mouth when your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging just enough to break his breath.
He pushed you back gently, just enough to lay you down against the couch. His body moved with yours like he remembered every angle, every breath, every whimper. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he pressed into you like he couldn’t bear even an inch of space.
Every touch was too much. Every brush of his lips down your neck was a plea. You arched into him when his hand slid under your shirt, fingertips skating up your ribs like he was rediscovering the lines of you. Your breath hitched. He paused.
"You sure?" he whispered, voice low and hoarse.
You nodded. “Yes. Please.”
Clothes came off in pieces, fumbled and frantic. His mouth never strayed far from yours. Every second without your lips felt like something was missing.
When he finally entered you, it was a slow, aching slide. A sound slipped from both of you — somewhere between relief and devastation.
You buried your face in his neck as he moved. Deep, steady, deliberate.
It wasn’t just sex. It was memory. It was longing. It was a silent scream of I’m still here.
His forehead pressed to yours, your lips brushing between every gasp. He whispered your name, almost crying it out, like it anchored him, like he was afraid he might lose you again if he didn’t say it enough.
You clenched around him, moaning brokenly into his mouth. “Jaehyun…”
“I know,” he breathed, his palm petting your messy hair. “I know.”
Your hands roamed every inch of his back, his shoulders, his chest — not like you were touching him for the first time, but like you were trying to memorise what you’d almost lost.
The world narrowed to the sound of your breaths, the slick rhythm of your bodies, the creak of the couch beneath you. The tears that slipped down your cheek weren’t from pain. Or pleasure.
They were from all the things you still couldn’t say.
And when you finally came — shuddering, clinging, whispering his name like a prayer — he followed with a broken groan against your throat.
Neither of you moved for a long time.
You stayed wrapped around each other, his arms around your waist, your fingers in his hair, your chest pressed to his.
There were no promises. No confessions.
Just breath.
Just skin.
Just this.
____
The room was now quiet and dark.
Your bodies had long since cooled from the heat, but neither of you had moved. The only light came from the streetlamp outside, flickering pale and golden through the blinds, casting slow-moving shadows across his bare chest, across your collarbone.
You lay half-draped over him, your arm on his stomach, your face near his neck. You could feel his heartbeat. It hadn’t fully steadied.
“Are we gonna talk about it?” you murmured.
Jaehyun didn’t move. “About the sex?”
You let out a soft laugh, nose brushing his jaw. “No, you idiot.”
“Because if we are,” he added, tilting his head with a playful grin, “ten out of ten. Would do again.”
You swatted his chest, a cheesy grin on your face. “Stop.”
He caught your wrist and pressed a lazy kiss to your knuckles. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
You were quiet for a moment.
“This… us,” you said. “It’s not gonna work if wekeep being so stubborn. If we both keep wanting to be right all the time.”
He blinked. “Are you about to admit I was right?”
You groaned. “God, you’re the worst.”
He laughed — that low, quiet laugh he did when he was happy and didn’t want to show it.
But then you both fell silent again.
You shifted slightly, curling into him, your face burying deeper in the curve of his shoulder. “We don’t know how to compromise.”
Jaehyun nodded. “I think we both just want to be understood. And forget to try to understand the other.”
“And we never say sorry.”
“We say sorry with sex.”
“That does not count.”
“Feels like it counts,” he muttered. You elbowed him, and he grunted, grinning despite it.
“I mean it,” you said, softer now. “If we want this… to work… we have to actually want to work for it.” You didn’t say it out loud, but you knew that if this broke again, it would break differently. Deeper.
“I do,” he said, almost immediately. “Even when you drive me insane.”
You grinned, "I do too."
A beat passed. Then his voice, slightly different now:
“You know what also drove me insane?”
You looked up at him, your chin now resting on his chest. “What?”
“That guy you were with at the restaurant.”
You blinked, a teasing grin growing on your lips. “Oh god.”
“He looked like he used the word ‘delightful’ unironically,” Jaehyun rolled his eyes in playful annoyance.
You laughed. Loud and sudden. “He literally did! Like twice!”
Jaehyun made a face of mock agony. “See? I knew it. That guy was a menace.”
“You had no right to be that mad,” you said, smirking. “You were there with your perfect jawline and your cozy sweater and your little blonde wine-sipping mouth-wiper.”
“You’re impossible.”
You shrugged. “You started it.”
He was quiet for a second. Then: “Did you kiss him?”
You tilted your head at him. “Would it ruin your night if I said yes?”
He narrowed his eyes, looking down at you with brows furrowed. “Did you?”
You paused dramatically, just to watch him squirm. Then: “No. I didn’t. I kept comparing him to you.”
“Poor guy,” Jaehyun murmured, laying his head back down, smug now. “He didn’t stand a chance.”
“You’re insufferable.” You tried to glare. It melted halfway into a smile. “What about her? What did you do to the girl,” you asked, afraid of what was to come after the question.
He shook his head. “Didn’t even hold her hand. It felt… off.”
"She seemed familiar, tho. Wiping your mouth and all that."
“Was she? Damn. Guess I was too busy trying not to choke on my wine while you played footsie with Discount Harry Styles,” he deadpanned, and you let out a surprised, loud laugh. And then, when you calmed down, "She could’ve wiped my whole face and I still wouldn’t have looked away from you.”
“First of all, it was one accidental tap. Second of all, he had great curls. You're just jealous of the curls.” You laughed together, both recognizing the teasing tone in your voice.
You both fell quiet again. But this time, it felt safe.
Then he asked — casually, like he was almost afraid of the answer — “So… what was it, really? Why did you push me away?”
Your breath caught a little.
You turned onto your side, facing him, the blanket loosely wrapped around your waist now, your arm across his chest.
“I think…” you started slowly, “I’ve just spent a long time pretending I don’t need anyone. It’s easier that way. Safer.”
He didn’t interrupt. Just watched you, his fingers tracing idle shapes on your hip.
“Every time something starts to feel real, my first instinct is to pull away. Not because I don’t care — but because I care too much. And that terrifies me.”
You swallowed.
“I get scared that if I let someone in, they’ll either want too much or leave. So I keep distance. I make jokes. I change the subject. I convince myself I’m better off alone. And then I hurt people without meaning to.”
Your voice cracked on the last part.
“I thought I was protecting myself. But I think I was just pushing away the one thing I wanted.”
He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
“I’ve never wanted to be someone you're scared to love,” he said softly. “I just want to be someone who makes you feel safe. Even when you’re scared.”
Your throat tightened.
“I’m still figuring it out,” you whispered.
“Okay,” he said. “We’ll figure it out together.”
And that was enough.
His lips found yours again — slow this time. No rush. No heat.
Just promise.
It wasn’t perfect. Not even close.
You still avoided your feelings when they got too big, falling into silence or forced jokes — still got scared of closeness, swallowed your feelings until your chest felt too tight, and said you were fine when you weren’t. And he still went quiet when something hurt, retreated behind his walls like silence might keep the peace and give him control of the situation, mistaking quiet for control. Years of emotional armor don’t just fall away because you finally say the things you were too afraid to say before. Not even with love. Especially not with love.
But now, you saw and understood each other.
He noticed when you started folding into yourself, even if you joked through it. He could read the tilt of your shoulder, the edge in your laugh, and knew when you were slipping beneath the surface. And he didn’t pull away anymore — he reached further. Even when you resisted, even when you said “don't insist.”. Now, he did insist.
And you stopped letting him disappear. You called him out when his messages got shorter or his eyes stopped meeting yours. You'd press, even when it turned into raised voices and late-night fights, even when he said “it’s nothing” four times in a row. You didn’t back off. Not anymore.
It was still messy. It still hurt sometimes. But you tried again.
There were two toothbrushes now. Two mugs permanently drying on the rack — yours chipped at the rim, his with fading math jokes printed on the side. A playlist you built together slowly, one song at a time. Your panties that always ended up in his drawers, his hoodie somehow always on yourchair. Texts that said “pick me up?” and replies that always said, “already outside”. Laughter — the kind that echoed off walls during burnt-toast mornings and grocery runs. Tiny arguments over dishes. Soft apologies whispered into skin. There were his arms around her waist while she brushed her teeth. Her fingers in his hair when he fell asleep on the couch mid-paper. Shared inside jokes.
And still, somehow — always — the heat. The fire.
It wasn’t just comfort. It wasn’t just routine. It was hunger, still — the kind that burned hot and fast when their eyes met across a room. The kind that had them tearing at each other’s clothes like they’d been starving. Had them tangled in sheets and gasping against doorframes like they couldn’t get close enough, bodies fitting like they were made for each other. It was his hands on her hips like he remembered every inch. It was her mouth at his neck, like she needed to leave a mark. It was hunger, still, for every version of each other. Familiar and feverish. Known and new.
But more than the heat, it was this: they didn’t leave when it got hard. They didn’t weaponize silence. They sat in the discomfort. Asked the hard questions. Stayed up too late whispering truths that hurt but mattered. They didn’t walk away.
Instead, they learned how to stay.
They weren’t perfect. But they were learning how to be soft with each other. How to fight fair. How to ask the hard questions and stay in the room even when the answers hurt. How to build something that felt like safety — not because it was easy, but because it was chosen.
And somehow — in the mess, in the noise, in the rhythm they rebuilt from the wreckage — they had become each other’s peace. Each other’s storm. Each other’s fire.
Warning: Arguments, infidelity (mentioned) , bathtub sex (let me know if I missed something)
AN: I hope you guys like this as much as you liked the first part, Im super unsure if some scenes look rushed? but feedback is heavily appreciated and once again I dedicate this to Jaehyun who I miss dearly💕
Taglist: @yowmaman @r24priv05
Part: I
Part VI : A Daughter’s resentment
The first three days of Jaehyun's absence were defined by a hostile, vibrating silence. Yuna was a whirlwind of directed fury. She refused to touch the toy towers Jaehyun had helped her build, kicking them across the room whenever she passed. When you tried to mention his name, she would cover her ears, her small face turning a bright, angry red.
"I don't have an Appa," she had declared on the second night, her voice trembling. "The giants got him."
But by the fourth day, the anger leaked out, leaving behind a hollow sadness. You were sitting in the nursery when she stopped midway playing with her plush toy. Her eyes, so much like Jaehyun’s, were wide and searching.
"Eomma?" she whispered. "Is Appa still fighting the giants? It's been a lot of nights."
You felt a sharp ache in your chest. You didn't even know where he was. "He's... handling business, Yuna."
"Did I make him stay away?" she asked, her lip quivering. "Because I said I hated him? If I say sorry, will the giants let him come back for pancakes?"
The heartbreak in her voice was a testament to the "little permanent happiness" Taeyong had warned Jaehyun about. Even in her anger, her world was incomplete without the man who had promised to hold her hand.
He had fallen into a repetitive, punishing routine over the past few days. By 8:00 AM every morning, Jaehyun was a phantom in his own company. He showed up at the office with the precision of a machine—his suits crisp, his hair perfectly gelled, his presence commanding. But the man inside was disintegrating. His eyes were perpetually bloodshot, hidden behind a pair of heavy designer frames that served as his only shield against the world. He moved through the halls like a well-programmed ghost, and though his presence was intimidating, the scent of expensive cologne couldn't quite mask the faint, sharp tang of the scotch he’d been using as a sedative until four in the morning.
He functioned on autopilot—signing contracts, leading board meetings, and navigating the mental torture of his responsibilities with a terrifying, hollow efficiency.
Eunha noticed the shift immediately. On the third morning, she stepped into his office, closing the door with a soft, suggestive click. She approached his desk, her hand reaching out to graze his shoulder as she leaned over with a stack of files.
"You look exhausted, Jaehyun," she whispered, her voice dropping into that familiar, intimate lilt. "Maybe you need a break. You should loosen up a bit, and I know exactly how to—"
"Get out."
The words weren't a shout; they were a low, dangerous growl. Jaehyun didn't even look up from his screen. His jaw was set so tight it looked like stone.
"Jaehyun, I’m just trying to—"
"You are a secretary, Eunha. Act like one," he snapped, his gaze finally snapping to hers. There was no heat in his eyes anymore, no desire for the distraction she offered. There was only a cold, visceral disgust—mostly for himself. "If you cross that line again, your resignation will be on my desk by noon. Do not touch me. Do not speak to me unless it is about work. Am I clear?"
She recoiled as if he’d slapped her, the power dynamic she’d carefully cultivated vanishing in a single breath. Jaehyun watched her leave, then slumped back in his chair, his hand trembling as he rubbed his face. He wasn't being "moral"; he was just tired. He was tired of the shallow warmth of people who didn't actually know him.
Back at the estate, the atmosphere was different. For the first time, the massive, state-of-the-art kitchen wasn't being run by a staff in white coats. You had sent them away. You needed to do something with your hands, something that wasn't signing a check or managing a social calendar.
You were covered in flour, a smudge of it white against your cheek, as you pulled a tray of slightly lopsided chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. They weren't "patisserie" perfect, but they were warm, and they smelled like a home instead of a museum.
Yuna sat on the marble island, her legs swinging, her eyes wide as she watched you. "Eomma? Are we allowed to make a mess?"
"Today? We're allowed to make the biggest mess in Seoul," you said, forcing a smile as you handed her a warm cookie.
The initial fury Yuna had felt toward her father had faded into a quiet, haunting confusion. She took a bite, but her eyes drifted to the window overlooking the manicured gardens.
"Eomma?" she asked softly, her voice barely a whisper.
"Yes, baby?"
"Is Appa still mad at me?" She looked up, her lower lip trembling. "I told the giants I was sorry. I said I didn't mean the 'H' word. Why won't he come back to the house?"
It was the same mental torture you and Jaehyun had endured since you were six—the constant fear of being "discarded" if you weren't perfect. You saw your own childhood trauma reflecting in her tear-filled eyes, and you refused to let it take root.
"He's not mad, baby," you said, dropping the oven mitt and pulling her into your lap, ignoring the flour getting on your clothes. "He’s just... he’s a little lost. Like when you lose your favorite toy under the bed. He needs us to show him the way back."
To drown out the heavy silence of the estate, you turned the afternoon into a whirlwind of distractions. You chased her through the long, sun-drenched corridors, her small socks sliding on the polished wood as she squealed with delight. You played hide-and-seek behind the heavy velvet curtains and built a makeshift castle out of the expensive silk throw pillows in the lounge. You did everything to make sure only laughter would grace her face.
Eventually, the sugar and the excitement wore her out. You carried a sleepy, heavy-lidded Yuna up the grand staircase to her room. As you tucked her in for an afternoon nap, she gripped your thumb with her small hand.
"Tell Appa... I miss him," she murmured, her eyes fluttering shut.
You waited until her breathing was deep and even before you walked out, the playful smile vanished from your face. You went straight to your room, sat on the bed, and dialed the one person who knew exactly which hole Jaehyun had crawled into.
"Taeyong," you said, your voice hard and determined. "I don't care what he is doing, and I don’t care if he’s ashamed.Tell me where he is. I’m bringing him home."
The tires of the Lamborghini screamed against the asphalt as Jaehyun took a sharp turn onto the rain-slicked highway. Inside the cabin, the air was toxic—a suffocating mix of expensive cologne and the sharp, acidic burn of neat scotch. The speedometer climbed, the engine’s roar sounding less like a feat of engineering and more like a cornered animal’s howl.
Jaehyun’s vision was a smear of neon lights and wet pavement. His hands were white-knuckled and trembling on the steering wheel. He was insanely drunk, the kind of drunk where the world feels both too fast and agonizingly heavy.
His phone buzzed incessantly in the center console. He swiped it with a clumsy, aggressive motion.
"What?" he barked into the speaker, his voice a jagged wreck.
"Jaehyun, pull the car over. Now," Taeyong’s voice was sharp with authority, but his underlying panic was palpable. "I can hear the engine. You’re going to kill yourself."
"Maybe that's the point, Hyung," Jaehyun slurred, a hysterical, hollow laugh bubbling up in his throat. "Maybe a ghost should finally stay dead. I haven't been back in days. I’m just sitting in a hotel room waiting for the walls to swallow me because I can't look at my daughter anymore."
"Jae, listen to me," Taeyong pleaded. "Y/N just called me. She’s looking for you. She sounded... different. She wants you to go home."
"Home? To what?" Jaehyun swerved, the car fishtailing slightly before he corrected it with a jerk. "To the look on Yuna's face? I missed it Hyung, her first day of school. The most important day of her life, and where was I? in a hotel room with Eunha, trying to feel anything other than the suffocation of that house. I was hooking up with my secretary while my daughter was looking for me. And then she saw me later. She looked me in the eye and said she hated me. My three-year-old knows I’m a coward and doesn’t want to see me.
"You idiot!" Taeyong’s voice crackled with a sudden, sharp fury. "I told you to stop playing around with her. I told you Eunha was a parasite feeding on your misery. You spent months
"I ended it!" Jaehyun screamed back, slamming his hand against the leather dash. "I told her to get out! I told her if she touched me again, I’d destroy her career. It’s over, hyung. I’m done with the distractions."
"Telling her 'it's over' isn't enough, Jaehyun," Taeyong snapped, his tone cold and pragmatic. "She’s still in your office. She’s still in your space. If you actually want to go home, if you actually want to look Yuna in the eye, you fire her. You scrub that mistake out of your life entirely. You can't heal in the same room where you poisoned yourself."
Jaehyun let out a sob that sounded like a physical tear in his chest. "We’ve been bound together since we were six. Twenty years of being 'the perfect couple' for the cameras, and I’m so broken I can't even show up for a child. You want to know what it feels like to be me?"
"Jaehyun, slow down—"
"She sleeps with him, Taeyong!" Jaehyun screamed, the confession finally bursting out of him. "Your brother. Mark. The one who got to be the human while you and I became the machines. She goes to him because he’s 'free.' He’s holding her in the dark while I’m out here chasing shadows like Eunha just to feel like I’m not a corpse.
The silence on the other end of the line was deafening. The wind whistled through the slight crack in the window as Taeyong absorbed the hit. Mark. His own blood, the younger brother he had protected, was the one dismantling Jaehyun’s life.
"Jae..." Taeyong’s voice broke, the anger replaced by a crushing, profound pity. "I didn't... I didn't know it was Mark. God, Jae, I’m so incredibly sorry. I’m going to handle him. I promise you, I will end it. I'll make sure he never touches her again. Just stay alive long enough to get home."
Jaehyun’s foot finally eased off the pedal. The roar of the V12 dipped into a low, mournful hum. He swerved onto the shoulder of the road, the tires crunching on gravel before the car came to a jarring halt. He slumped over the wheel, his forehead resting on the cold leather, his entire body racking with violent, silent sobs.
Jaehyun wiped his face with the back of his hand, his breathing finally leveling out. The drunk, hysterical edge had been replaced by a heavy, grounding realization: he couldn't stay on this shoulder forever. He had to face the wreckage.
He drove back to the estate with agonizing care, every turn of the wheel a conscious effort. When he finally pushed open the heavy front doors, the silence of the mansion didn't feel like a threat—it felt like a witness.
He walked up the stairs, his footsteps muffled by the carpet, and stopped at Yuna’s door. It was cracked open with just a sliver. Standing in the hallway, he watched the soft rise and fall of her shoulders under the duvet. As he looked at her a fresh wave of grief hit him—not the loud, drunken kind, but a quiet, sharp ache. He had missed so much in just a few days of running. He didn't go in; he didn't feel worthy of waking her. He just admired her from the shadows, a man looking at a miracle he almost threw away.
Finally, he turned toward the primary suite.
The room was dim, the bedside lamp unlit. He thought you were already asleep until he saw the silhouette on the balcony. You leaned against the railing, staring out at the expansive gardens, the moonlight catching your natural beauty.
He stepped out into the night air, the chill biting through him. He stood beside you, not touching, just existing in the same space.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. It was the simplest thing he had said to you in years. "I’m sorry for missing Yuna’s first day. I’m sorry for being a ghost."
You didn't look at him, but you didn't pull away either. "Yuna thinks the giants took you. She’s been apologizing to the hallway for saying she hated you."
Jaehyun closed his eyes, a pained sound escaping his throat. "I talked to Taeyong. On the way here. I told him I’m done with the distractions. I told him I ended things with Eunha... but he’s right. I can't just end the 'hookup.' I have to fire her. I have to scrub every part of that mistake out of my life if I’m ever going to be able to look Yuna in the eye again."
As the silence took over without your response, Jaehyun proceeded, his gaze shifting from the horizon to the floor.
"Do you remember the charity gala my family hosted?" Jaehyun asked, his voice a low, jagged rasp. It was a memory pulled from a time before the bitterness had set in. "We were eight. You were wearing that stiff lace dress that you kept scratching at."
You didn't move, but the tension in your shoulders dropped a fraction of an inch. "And you were hiding under the dessert table because your father told you that you had to deliver the welcome toast in three languages."
"I succeeded for a solid twenty minutes. Until you crawled under there with a plate of petit fours and told me my tie was crooked."
"Someone had to," you whispered, leaning back just enough to look at him. The moonlight softened the edges of his tired face. "You looked like you were being marched to the gallows."
"I was," he murmured, his voice thick with the memory. "And you were the only one who didn't look at me like a prodigy. You looked at me like I was a kid who was about to cry."
You let out a long, trembling breath, finally turning your body slightly toward him. You didn't reach for him, but the wall between you felt thinner. "I’m sorry, too, Jaehyun," you said softly. "I’m sorry for letting us get so cold. I think I spent so much time resenting the fact that we were forced together that I forgot you were the only other person trapped in this with me. I stopped looking at you because it was easier to be 'practical' than to see how much we were both hurting."
It was a quiet, sober recognition of your shared history. You weren't fixed, but the isolation was gone. You were just two people who had known each other since they were six, finally acknowledging the gravity of their proximity.
Jaehyun finally reached out, his hand trembling as he rested it over yours on the railing. It wasn't a possessive grip; it was a plea for a ceasefire, a simple acknowledgement of your presence in his life.
Jaehyun finally reached out, his hand trembling as he rested it over yours on the railing. It wasn't a romantic gesture; it was a ceasefire. "I want to be that person again," he whispered. "I don't know how to do it yet... but I'm here."
The next morning, the sunlight filtered through the heavy curtains in pale, thin strips. As you stirred, your hand instinctively reached across the expansive mattress, searching for a warmth that wasn't there. The silk sheets were cool and perfectly smooth on Jaehyun’s side. For a heart-stopping second, the old anxiety flared up—the fear that you have opened up way too much last night.
You threw on a silk robe and hurried out of the room, your footsteps quiet on the hallway runner. But as you approached the top of the grand staircase, a sound drifted up that made you pause: the frantic, rhythmic clink-clink-clink of a whisk hitting a metal bowl, punctuated by the high-pitched, bubbly giggle of a three-year-old.
You walked toward the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe to take in a sight that felt like a glitch in the mansion's matrix.
Jaehyun wasn't in a suit. He wasn't even in his usual "casual" button-down. He was wearing a soft, oversized cream-colored cashmere sweater—the kind of "warm" clothing he usually avoided because it made him look too approachable, too soft. His hair was messy, ungelled and falling over his forehead, and he had a pair of comfortable white shorts on.
He was focused intently on a pan of sizzling batter, but he wasn't alone. Yuna was practically glued to his left leg. Every time Jaehyun moved to reach for the spatula or the milk, Yuna shuffled along with him, her small hands gripping the soft wool of his sweater as if he were a life raft.
"Appa, it’s bubbles! Look!" Yuna squealed, pointing at the pancake.
"I see them, baby. That means it’s almost time for the flip," Jaehyun murmured. His voice was husky with sleep, but it held a gentleness that felt brand new. He looked down at her, his expression a mix of awe and a desperate kind of tenderness. "Are you sure you don't want to sit in your chair? I promise I'm just going to the fridge."
"No," Yuna said firmly, tightening her grip on the cream wool. "The fridge is too far. You might get lost again."
Jaehyun went still for a moment, the weight of her words hitting him visibly. He caught sight of you in the doorway and offered a small, uncertain look—the expression of a man who knew he was trespassing in a domestic world he hadn't earned yet.
"Eomma! Appa is making circles!" Yuna announced, her face beaming.
"I see that," you said, walking further into the kitchen. The scent of vanilla and burnt butter was a welcome change from the usual sterile smell of the house. "Since when did you learn how to handle a stovetop?"
Jaehyun let out a short, self-deprecating huff. "I didn't. I had to watch three YouTube videos just to figure out how not to set the smoke alarm off. I think the first batch could probably be used as roof shingles."
He gestured to a plate of charcoal-black discs sitting in the sink. You couldn't help it; a genuine laugh bubbled up. "Well, at least you’re consistent. You always did aim for 'durable' results."
Jaehyun’s eyes softened, he reached out to flip the current pancake, and even though his technique was clumsy, Yuna cheered as if he was the best cook in the world.
"Yuna, why don't you let Appa move so he can get the plates?" you suggested, moving toward them.
"I'm a koala," Yuna declared, burying her face in the soft fabric of his sweater. "Koalas don't let go."
Jaehyun looked at you over her head, a helpless, tired smile on his lips. "It’s okay. I can work with a koala. I think I’ve spent enough time being 'unreachable' anyway. I don't mind the extra weight."
He sets the plates over on the dining table, the porcelain clinking softly against the wood. After doing so, he carefully tries to peel Yuna from him to place her in a chair beside him, but the girl remains insistent that he just feeds her while carrying her. She wraps her legs tighter around his waist, her small face buried in the soft, cream-colored wool of his sweater.
Jaehyun sighs, a sound that is more fond than frustrated. "Alright, alright. I guess I’m a high-chair today," he murmurs, settling into his own seat with her perched firmly on his lap.
The three of you eat comfortably, the clinking of silverware the only sound besides Yuna’s occasional happy hums. Jaehyun is attentive, blowing on each small piece of pancake before offering it to her. He looks at her with an intensity that suggests he’s trying to memorize the exact shade of her eyes.
"Appa?" Yuna asks, leaning back to look at him. "Are you going to put on your suit now? Are the giants calling you on the phone?"
Jaehyun sets the fork down and looks her directly in the eye. "No more giants today, Yuna. And no stiff suits. In fact," he glances up at you, his gaze lingering for a second before returning to her, "I’ve decided I won’t be going to work for some time. I’m staying right here. We have a lot of towers to build and a lot of movies to catch up on."
You raise your brows at that, a piece of pancake pausing halfway to your mouth. It’s a shock to the system. For a man who usually measures his worth in billable hours and corporate takeovers, the idea of him voluntarily stepping away is entirely new.
"You’re taking a leave?" you ask quietly. "For how long?"
"Until I’m sure the 'H' word is gone for good," he says, his voice low and sincere.
Yuna’s eyes light up. "Then we can watch the movie! The one with the ice queen and the snowman!"
Once the plates are cleared, the three of you move to the massive, plush living room couch. Jaehyun settles into the cushions, still playing the role of the "koala tree" as Yuna sprawls across him, her head resting right over his heart. You sit at the other end, close enough that your knees occasionally brush his, the domesticity of it all feeling both beautiful and fragile.
As the opening credits begin to roll, the living room—usually a place of ice and silence—feels transformed by the bright colors on the screen. But you know the reality of the calendar.
"Yuna, baby," you say gently, leaning toward her. "Since Appa is staying home to play, that means you have to do your job, too. You’ve missed a lot of days already. On Monday, you need to go back to school."
Yuna’s face falls instantly, her eyes darting from the screen to the soft fabric of Jaehyun's sweater. "But if I go, you’ll leave again. You’ll go back to the office."
Jaehyun tucks a stray curl behind her ear, his hand lingering there with a touch so gentle it almost looks foreign on him. "I won't. I'll tell you what—this time, I’m the one who’s going to drive you. I’ll walk you all the way to the door, and I’ll be standing right there at the gate when the bell rings to bring you home. I promise."
Yuna looks at him, searching his face for any sign of a lie. "Pinky promise? The real kind?"
Jaehyun gravely hooks his pinky finger with her tiny one. "The realest kind."
Yuna lets out a happy sigh and settles back against his chest, her eyes glued to the screen as the music starts. You watch them from your side of the couch, the sight of the two of them—one small and hopeful, one grown and trying to mend a thousand breaks—stirring something complicated in your chest. You want to believe him. You want to trust that the man who missed the first day would never miss another.
The movie credits began to roll in a quiet crawl, the bright Disney melodies fading into a soft, instrumental hum. Yuna’s breathing had long since become deep and rhythmic, her small hand finally losing its iron grip on Jaehyun’s cream sweater.
Jaehyun moved with a practiced, agonizing slowness. He scooped her up, cradling her head against his shoulder as he stood. He walked upstairs to her room, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he didn't just drop her off. He tucked her in, adjusted her favorite plush toy, and lingered in the doorway, watching her sleep for several minutes before finally heading back down.
When he returned to the living room, you were still sitting on the couch, staring at the blank television screen. The warmth of the morning felt like it was evaporating, replaced by the cool, sharp reality of your shared history.
Jaehyun sat down, though he kept a respectful distance. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I meant what I told her," he began, his voice low and earnest. "I’ve already cleared my schedule for the next two weeks. I want to be here every morning. I want to be the one who—"
"Jaehyun," you interrupted, your voice flat and devoid of the lightheartedness from breakfast. You turned to look at him, your eyes searching his with a profound, weary doubt. "Just make sure you aren’t actually keeping her hopes up this time. I can handle your absences. I’ve had years of practice. But she’s three. If you promise her the world and then disappear back into God knows where again... I don't think she'll forgive you a second time."
Jaehyun’s mouth opened, a protest or a deeper apology sitting on the tip of his tongue. He looked like he wanted to reach out, to promise you that he was different now. But the weight of his recent choices—the missed school day, the drinking, Eunha—sat between you like a physical barrier.
"I—" he started, but you were already standing up.
"I’m going to shower," you said, cutting him off before he could offer words that you weren't ready to believe.
You walked away without looking back, leaving him alone in the center of the silent living room. Upstairs, the steam of the shower filled the bathroom, the hot water hitting your shoulders in an attempt to wash away the tension of the last few days. You leaned your head against the cool tiles, closing your eyes.
After you finished, you wrapped yourself in a fresh robe and sat on the edge of the bed. The house was quiet, but your mind was a riot of noise. You picked up your phone, your thumb hovering over Mark's name.
Mark was the one who had seen you through the loneliest nights. He was the quiet comfort you sought when Jaehyun’s coldness became too much to bear. While Jaehyun was out being a "machine," Mark was the person who actually listened, providing the warmth that had been missing from your marriage. But looking at the closed door, and thinking of the moments you have shared the night before, you knew the cycle had to stop. You couldn't ask Jaehyun to be better while you were still holding onto a backdoor escape.
You pressed the call. It only rang twice before he picked up.
"Mark?" you whispered into the receiver, your voice trembling despite your best efforts to stay firm. "It's me. We need to talk. Properly."
"Uhh, sure?" Mark’s voice came through, low and laced with an immediate, cautious concern. "Did something happen? You sound... different."
As you walked down the grand staircase, the clinking of porcelain echoed from the kitchen. You found Jaehyun there, his sleeves still rolled up, meticulously washing the last of the breakfast dishes. He looked up as you entered, his eyes taking in your outfit and the keys in your hand.
"Are you headed out?" he asked, his voice quiet, devoid of the usual cold authority. He paused, drying his hands on a towel. "Will you be home for dinner?"
"I’m going to meet a friend," you replied, your hand tightening slightly around the keys.
You waited for the flicker of suspicion or the cold, possessive tilt of his head, but it never came. He simply nodded, his expression softening as if he realized you needed your own space just as much as he had needed his. He wasn't trying to cage you; he was simply acknowledging the reality of your life.
"I understand," he said quietly. "Enjoy yourself."
He turned back to the counter, but you found yourself pausing at the threshold. The lack of tension in him made the truth feel even heavier. "I’ll be home for dinner, Jaehyun," you added, the statement feeling like a small, tentative bridge being built. "I'll be back by six."
He didn't turn around, but you saw the slight rise of his shoulders as he took a breath. "I’ll have something ready," he murmured. "Be safe."
You walked out to the parking lot, the engine of your Porsche 911 roaring to life, the sound bouncing off the concrete walls. The drive to Mark’s apartment was a blur of traffic and heavy thoughts. You parked the car and took the elevator up, the silence of the lift echoing the finality of your decision.
When the door opened, Mark was standing there. He looked like the opposite of the life you lived—casual, warm, and entirely uncomplicated.
You take hesitant steps going inside, facing him as soon as you are inside. The apartment, once your only place of refuge, suddenly felt like a stage for a play that had reached its final act.
"Taeyong called me," Mark said softly, his voice dropping into a somber register as he leaned back against the doorframe. He didn't move to touch you, and the familiar warmth that usually greeted you was replaced by a quiet, shared understanding that the air between you had changed.
"He didn't hold back. My brother reminded me that regardless of how cold that house felt to you, there’s a three-year-old girl in the middle of it now. He told me it was pretty bad, what we were doing... that Yuna deserves parents who are at least trying to be whole."
He looked at you then, his eyes softening with a sad, sentimental smile. "And he was right. I think I knew it, too. I was your sanctuary, but a sanctuary is just a place you hide from the storm. It’s not a home. Especially not when there’s a child like Yuna waiting for the people she loves to finally stay."
The realization hit you hard. Even Mark, the man who had been your peace, recognized that the stakes had shifted. Taeyong’s intervention—as both his brother and the man who knew the wreckage of your marriage best—had stripped away the blur of the affair, leaving only the reality of the damage it was doing to a little girl who didn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire.
"I can't live in the shadows anymore," you whispered, the finality of it settling in your chest. "Not if I'm going to ask for the light to be turned back on at home."
Mark nodded slowly, a final, quiet acceptance. He didn't try to argue or plead; he simply looked at you with the gaze of someone who truly cared enough to let go.
"Then go," he said gently, reaching out to give your shoulder one last, grounding squeeze. "Go be the mother she needs. Go see if that house can actually feel like a home tonight."
You stepped back out into the hallway, the weight on your shoulders feeling different—not lighter, but more honest.
Part VII: Quiet Surrender
The drive back was quieter than the drive there. As you pulled the Porsche into the driveway, the estate didn’t look like the cold, imposing fortress it usually was. Instead, the golden glow of the interior lights spilled out onto the manicured lawn, making the house look soft—almost inviting.
When you stepped through the front door, the first thing that hit you wasn't the scent of expensive lilies, but the savory, mouth-watering aroma of roasted chicken and herbs. The house felt warm. It wasn't just the heating system; it was the life vibrating within the walls.
You walked toward the dining room and paused. Jaehyun was still in that cream cashmere sweater, though he had added a comedic touch: a ruffled floral apron he must have found in the back of the pantry. He was sitting low in his chair, patiently blowing on a spoonful of mashed potatoes for Yuna.
"Eomma! You're back!" Yuna beamed, her face lighting up like a Christmas tree. "Look! Appa made a volcano out of the potatoes!"
Jaehyun looked up, his eyes meeting yours. There was no judgment there, only a soft, relieved smile. "Welcome home," he said quietly. "We just started."
You took your seat, and for a few minutes, you and Jaehyun ate in a comfortable, domestic silence. The clinking of silverware was underscored by the "cracking" of the ice that had lived in your chest for so long. Seeing him like this—disheveled, helpful, and present—was slowly mending the parts of you that had gone numb.
"Eomma, where did you go?" Yuna asked, her mouth slightly messy with gravy. "I woke up from my nap and you weren't in the fort. I thought maybe the giants got you too."
You felt a small pang of guilt, but you smoothed it over with a gentle smile. "No giants, baby. I just had to go meet a friend for a little bit."
"Who?" Yuna tilted her head, her curiosity never-ending.
"I met up with Auntie Yeji," you said, offering a small white lie.
Yuna’s eyes went wide. "Auntie Yeji? I miss her! She makes the bestest funny faces." She poked at a stray pea on her plate, her voice turning a bit wistful. "Does she want to play with me again soon? Can she come over and we can show her the fort?"
Yuna’s eyes went wide. "Auntie Yeji? I miss her! She makes the bestest funny faces." She poked at a stray pea on her plate, her voice turning a bit wistful. "Does she want to play with me again soon? I want to show her my new toys! I have the sparkly pony and the doctor kit now!"
"I'm sure she’d love to see them," you replied, your heart squeezing a little at her innocence. "I'll tell her you have a whole new collection to show her."
"And we have to play hide and seek!" Yuna added excitedly, her hands waving in the air. "Auntie Yeji is the best at hiding. One time she hid in the big laundry basket and I couldn't find her for a hundred years! Tell her she has to come play and see my toys soon, okay Eomma?"
Jaehyun let out a genuine, low chuckle that vibrated through the room. "A hundred years? That’s a long time for Auntie Yeji to be in a laundry basket. I’ll have to make sure she brings an overnight bag if she’s going to hide that well again."
The dinner continued with Yuna babbling on about which new toy Auntie Yeji would like the best. When the plates were finally cleared, Jaehyun stood up and scooped a giggling Yuna into his arms.
"Alright, little koala. It’s bath time," he announced. He looked over at you, his expression earnest. "Why don't you go upstairs and relax? Take a long soak or just lie down. I’ve got her tonight. You’ve had a long day."
"Are you sure?" you asked, surprised. Bath time with a three-year-old was usually an Olympic-level sport involving water splashing everywhere.
"I'm sure," Jaehyun said, adjusting Yuna on his hip. He looked down at the little girl. "Ready to make a bubble beard, Yuna?"
"Yes! A giant one!" she cheered.
As they headed toward the stairs, Jaehyun stopped and looked back at you. "The tea is on the counter. It’s still hot."
You watched them disappear up the stairs, the sound of Yuna’s laughter echoing through the halls. For the first time in years, the silence in the kitchen wasn't lonely—it was peaceful.
You looked at the steaming cup of tea Jaehyun had left on the counter. It was a kind gesture—almost too kind. The sudden shift in the house was giving you whiplash, and you didn't know how to process the warmth radiating from the kitchen. You swallowed your emotions, deciding that a cup of herbal tea wasn't going to cut through the layers of confusion in your chest. You needed something a bit more potent.
Bypassing the kettle, you headed for the wine fridge and pulled out a bottle of Domaine de la Romanée-Conti. You poured a glass and downed it in one go, the rich red wine offering a sharp contrast to the domestic sweetness of the evening. You grabbed the bottle and a fresh glass, heading upstairs.
As you passed the hallway, the sound of splashing water and high-pitched giggles drifted out. You caught a glimpse through the cracked bathroom door—Jaehyun was kneeling on the floor, his sleeves pushed up, with a massive "beard" of white bubbles Yuna had smeared onto his face. He was making a ridiculous face, and Yuna was shrieking with delight.
The sight was too much. It felt like a beautiful lie you weren't ready to buy into yet.
You retreated to your shared master bedroom, the bottle and glass clinking in your hands. You walked straight into the en-suite bathroom, needing to submerge yourself in something other than your own thoughts. You didn't turn on the lights, preferring to light up some scented candles and relying on the dim glow of the bedroom as you sank into the warm water of the tub, finishing the bottle as you leaned your head back.
Eventually, the house grew quiet. Jaehyun had finished with Yuna and made his way to the shared bedroom. Noticing the bathroom door was slightly ajar, he stepped toward it to check on you.
He stood there for a moment, watching you in the quiet dimness of the candlelight. His gaze was soft, lingering on you with a look of quiet contemplation, as if he were trying to memorize the scene.
Suddenly, you opened your eyes.
You caught him staring, and the sheer timing of it caught him completely off guard. He actually jumped a little, his hand flying to the doorframe as his composed expression crumbled into a look of pure, sheepish surprise.
He cleared his throat, trying to regain some of his dignity. He looked at the empty bottle on the ledge and then back at you, his voice softening. "Yuna is out cold. She’s finally asleep. I... I didn't want to disturb you, I just wanted to see if you needed anything."
He stayed there, hovering at the door, seemingly torn between giving you your space and wanting to step closer into the warm, candlelit room.
"You know, you shouldn't stutter," you said, your voice low and slightly husky from the wine. You shifted in the warm water, a semi-teasing glint in your eyes as you looked at him through the flickering candlelight. "It's not like this is something you haven't seen before, Jaehyun."
The flush on his cheeks deepened, reaching the tips of his ears. He let out a dry, breathless laugh, finally stepping fully into the bathroom but keeping a respectful distance near the vanity. "I suppose not. I just... I didn't want to intrude on your peace."
You reached for the empty glass, swirling the last few drops of red. "Peace is a strong word for a bottle of Romanée-Conti in the dark. But speaking of things I haven't seen... why are you being so domestic all of a sudden? The apron, the 'potato volcanoes,' the bubble beards... it’s a bit of a shock to the system."
Jaehyun’s playful embarrassment ebbed away, replaced by a raw, quiet sincerity. He leaned against the marble counter, his gaze dropping to the floor.
"I have a lot of faults to answer for," he murmured, his voice tightening. "I’ve spent so much time being the man who stayed away... the man who came home at four in the morning smelling like a life that didn't include you or Yuna. Coming home with a different scent on my clothes, pretending I wasn't destroying the only good thing I had.
He looked back at you, his eyes shimmering with a mix of exhaustion and genuine regret. "I hated myself for it, but I didn't know how to stop the cycle until I saw how much it was hurting Yuna. Seeing her face when I walked in today... I realized I was becoming a stranger in my own home. I regret it. Every second of it."
The tension in the room shifted, turning from lighthearted teasing to something much heavier. You sat up slightly, the water rippling around you. "And what assurance do I have that this 'change' is forever, Jaehyun? It’s all so sudden. One day you don’t come home for a week, the next you’re the world’s best father. It’s hard to keep up. I’m utterly confused."
You looked at him, your mind screaming at you to be careful. "Is this just a phase? A reaction to a guilty conscience? Because I can’t let you break her heart by going back to that other life the moment this house feels too quiet for you."
Jaehyun moved closer, kneeling down by the edge of the tub. He reached out as if to touch the water, his fingers hovering just above the surface before he pulled his hand back suddenly, as if he didn't feel worthy of the warmth. He looked up at you, his eyes brimming with a devastating level of regret and a longing he had been trying to suppress all evening.
The air between you became electric, thick with years of resentment and an underlying pull that neither of you had been able to fully sever. Before he could apologize again, before he could retreat into his guilt, you reached out.
Your hands, damp and warm, suddenly grabbed onto his face, pulling him toward you. The movement was sharp, desperate, and caught him completely off guard. You leaned forward and kissed him—a kiss that tasted of expensive wine, candle wax, and a complicated, breaking history.
Jaehyun froze for a heartbeat, his breath hitching against your lips, before his eyes fluttered shut and his hands found the edge of the tub, gripping it until his knuckles went white as he kissed you back.
The kiss deepened, turning from a desperate question into a heated demand. Your fingers tangled in the soft, expensive wool of his cream cashmere sweater, tugging at the hem with a sudden, impatient hunger. Jaehyun let out a low, muffled groan against your lips, his hands moving from the cold marble of the tub to your arms, his touch a frantic contrast to the gentle father he had been just an hour ago.
Slowly, you worked the fabric upward, ridding him of the sweater that had symbolized his "domestic" shift, wanting to get back to the man beneath the layers. He helped you with a feverish urgency, the garment discarded somewhere on the tiled floor.
As you tried to pull him into the tub with you, the water rippling and spilling over the sides, Jaehyun suddenly paused. He pulled back just an inch, his forehead resting against yours, his breathing ragged. He looked at you with a flicker of hesitation, his eyes searching yours for more than just a fleeting impulse.
"Are you sure?" he whispered, his voice thick with an unsure, trembling hope. "Is it... is it actually okay for us to do this? I don't want to take advantage of... of tonight."
The alcohol was running through your veins now, a warm, numbing tide that silenced the voices of caution and the memories of his long absences. You didn't want to think about the "why" or the "how long." You just wanted to feel something other than the hollow ache that had defined your marriage for so long.
"It's okay," you murmured, your hands sliding down to his waist to pull him closer. You looked him in the eye, your gaze heavy and clouded. "I don't care, Jaehyun. Just... don't stop."
Jaehyun didn't need to be told twice. The last of his restraint snapped, and he climbed over the ledge—but not before he removed both his shorts and boxers. Your mouth watered at the sight; you knew Jaehyun had been going to the gym more these days, and hell, it had paid off too well. The candlelight caught the sharp lines of his physique, tracing the results of hours of discipline that you hadn't been around to witness lately.
He sank into the water beside you, the heat of the tub suddenly magnified by the heat of his skin. The water overflowed, splashing onto the marble floor as he reclaimed your lips, never once breaking the connection. The steam and the scent of the candles enveloped you both, blurring the lines between the life you were trying to fix and the passion that had always been your undoing.
You pushed Jaehyun down and his back hits the bath tub, slowly you straddle him kissing his neck and rubbing your hands all over his chest making him moan underneath you and for a moment you look up looking at him he says “Please I need you inside me now” you obliged no longer able to wait yourself too, you sink into his member in a slowly painful way, and his mouth form an “O” shape from the pleasure.
The water sloshes around you both as you lower yourself fully onto his thick cock, the stretch burning just right, making your breath hitch. Jaehyun's hands grip your hips hard, fingers digging into your skin with a roughness that sends sparks up your spine. He bucks up instinctively, thrusting deeper, and you gasp, nails scraping down his chest in retaliation, leaving red trails that make him hiss through clenched teeth.
"Fuck, you're so tight," he growls, voice low and ragged, eyes locked on yours with raw hunger. You start to move, rolling your hips in a slow grind at first, feeling every ridge and vein of his shaft drag against your inner walls. But the need builds fast—too fast—and you pick up the pace, slamming down onto him harder, the water splashing over the tub's edge with each bounce.
Jaehyun doesn't stay passive. His grip tightens, one hand sliding up to your ass, squeezing the flesh roughly before delivering a sharp smack that echoes in the steamy bathroom. The sting makes you clench around him involuntarily, pulling a deep groan from his throat. "That's it, ride me like you mean it," he demands, his other hand tangling in your hair, yanking your head back to expose your neck. He latches on, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin, marking you as his teeth graze just hard enough to border on pain.
You cry out, the mix of pleasure and edge pushing you closer to the brink. Your nails rake down his chest, leaving red trails over his toned muscles, and he hisses in response, thrusting up to meet your descent with brutal force. The rhythm turns frantic—wet slaps of skin on skin, your pussy gripping his cock like a vice as he pounds into you from below. Sweat and bathwater mix on your bodies, making everything slippery and intense.
"Harder," you whimper, leaning forward to capture his lips in a messy kiss, tongues clashing as you grind down. He obliges, wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you in place while he drives up relentlessly, his cock hitting that spot deep inside that makes stars burst behind your eyelids. The roughness amps everything up—his fingers bruising your hips, the way he nips at your lower lip hard enough to draw a bead of blood, licking it away with a possessive swipe.
Tension coils tight in your core, every thrust pushing you higher. Jaehyun's breaths come in harsh pants against your mouth, his body tensing beneath you. "Come for me," he rasps, voice breaking as he slams up one last time, grinding deep. The command shatters you—your orgasm crashes over you in waves, pussy spasming around his cock, milking him as you scream his name. He follows seconds later, hips jerking erratically as he floods you with hot cum, filling you to the brim until it leaks out around where you're joined.
You collapse onto his chest, both of you heaving, the water settling into gentle ripples around your spent bodies. Jaehyun's arms wrap around you, holding you close with a tenderness that contrasts the roughness from moments before, his lips brushing your temple in a soft kiss.
The water had cooled slightly, the steam now a soft mist clinging to the candlelit air. The frantic energy of the last hour had ebbed away, leaving behind a heavy, vibrating silence. You sat in the curve of his arms, foreheads pressed together, both of you breathing in the same humid air.
For the first time in a long time, the walls you’d built weren't just cracked—they were leveled. The wine had loosened the knot in your chest, but it was the heat of him, the physical reality of his presence, that finally pushed the truth to the surface.
"I ended it," you whispered, the words barely audible over the soft trickle of water.
Jaehyun’s body remained remarkably still. He didn't flinch or pull away. Instead, he let out a slow, measured exhale, his expression slipping into a quiet, almost detached nonchalance. He didn't ask who; he didn't need to. He knew the ghost that had been filling the spaces he left empty.
"With Mark," you continued, your voice gaining a fragile kind of strength as you looked him in the eye. "It’s over. For good. I saw him today... and I told him it was the last time."
Jaehyun closed his eyes for a moment, absorbing the words. There was no theatrical shock or outburst of wounded pride. Deep down, the weight of his own transgressions—the nights he didn't come home and the scents he brought back—acted as a heavy anchor, keeping him from judging you. He knew he was far from sinless; he knew the glass house they lived in had been shattered by his own hands long ago.
"I’m not in a position to throw stones, Y/N," he murmured, his voice steady but low. "I’ve spent enough time being the villain in this story to know why you needed someone to play the hero."
He reached up, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw. His touch was light, almost clinical in its calmness, though his eyes betrayed a flicker of raw regret. He didn't ask for details or apologies; he simply accepted the reality of their shared mess.
"I’m just glad you’re the one telling me," he added, his voice softening just a fraction. "I think we’ve both done enough apologizing in our heads. I just want to be the man who stays from now on."
You looked at him—really looked at him—and saw the man who had been hiding under the expensive suits. He looked human, and for the first time, he looked like he was actually present.
"Don't make me regret choosing this, Jaehyun," you said, a final warning wrapped in a plea.
"I won't," he promised, the nonchalance fading into a firm, quiet vow. "Starting with tomorrow. I'll be the one waking up with you."
Warnings: kissing, calling each other names, banter, breaking in, suggestive.
Summary: You weren’t supposed to be in the library after closing. He wasn’t supposed to catch you. And you definitely weren’t supposed to start wanting the one person you can’t stand.
Author's note: I finally got around to putting this idea into words. I feel like it could've been better, but I know if I don't scratch the itch now, this won't ever see the day of light, so here it is. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated, and I hope you enjoy! This piece is actually the result of some lovely comments I got, so please know that your support matters more than you think!
Disclaimer: This work is purely fictional. Any resemblance to real person(s) is used solely for creative and fictional purposes and should not be understood as factual representation.
The problem with Jaehyun wasn't that he was attractive.
The problem was that he knew it.
Or at least, you strongly suspected he knew it.
Because nobody should be allowed to look that good while shelving books.
Every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon, he'd stroll around the library with his sleeves rolled up, forearms on display as if to taunt you, glasses sliding down his nose and acting like he personally owned every square inch of the building.
Meanwhile, you couldn't check out a book without him finding some new way to annoy you.
Not actual annoying.
The infuriating kind.
The kind where you leave smiling despite yourself.
The kind that keeps you awake later replaying conversations and kicking your feet like a love-sick fool.
The kind that turns into a six-month overdue library book because you're...hopeless.
Hopelessly in love.
And because Jaehyun is impossible.
The first month wasn't intentional.
You simply forgot.
The second month became awkward.
The third month became a challenge.
By month four, it was war.
Because Jaehyun had discovered the book was overdue.
And because Jaehyun never let anything go.
"Oh look," he'd call whenever you walked into the library. "My favourite criminal."
You'd roll your eyes.
"You're a librarian."
"Part-time librarian."
"Worse."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
Then he'd grin.
And you'd hate him.
No. You absolutely love his devastatingly gorgeous smile. But you'd rather die than him ever finding that out.
Which was incredibly inconvenient.
So when month six arrived, you developed a new strategy.
Avoid him.
Specifically, avoid him so thoroughly that returning the book became impossible.
Which somehow led to you climbing through a library window at nine-thirty at night.
In hindsight, it wasn't your brightest moment.
The library was technically closed.
But the return slot had been jammed all week and you were desperate at this point.
And you'd spotted the maintenance man leaving one of the side windows cracked open.
Which felt less like breaking and entering and more like...aggressive book returning?
You dropped onto the carpet inside with all the grace of a falling bookshelf and a loud thud. Too loud for someone sneaking in.
A stack of magazines rattled, which made you freeze in place. A few seconds go by, and no alarm goes off. There's no sound at all except for the occasional car that drives by in the distance.
Reaching for the novel in your bag, you let out a sigh of relief.
"Freedom," you whisper dramatically, whilst you almost stumble over yourself to reach the return counter.
You're safe. You can put the book back and leave and nobody will ever know this has happened-
"You know breaking into a library is probably a bigger offence than an overdue book?" A deep voice says.
You nearly launch yourself into orbit at the sound.
Spinning around, you find Jaehyun leaning against a shelf.
Arms crossed, that smug smile, and entirely way too pleased with himself.
"Oh my God. You almost gave me a heartattack!"
Jaehyun chuckles.
"What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?"
"I asked first."
"I work here."
"It's nine-thirty."
He shrugs.
"I was finishing inventory."
"You live to ruin my life, don't you?"
"I live to improve it."
"By harassing me?"
His smile widened.
"Mostly."
You rolled your eyes.
Of course. Of course, he'd be here.
Because apparently the universe itself wanted to make your life difficult.
Jaehyun pushed away from the shelf.
"You climbed through a window."
"You saw nothing."
"I saw everything."
"You are the worst."
"Yet here you are."
He took the book from your hands.
Examined it.
Then looked back up.
"Six months."
"Don't."
"Six months."
"Jaehyun."
"Six. Entire. Months."
You lunged for the book.
He lifted it over his head.
Naturally.
Because he was tall and annoying.
"Give it back."
"No."
"You child."
"You committed a crime."
"You are being dramatic."
"You broke into a library."
"You keep saying that."
"Because it's insane."
With a determined huff, you stepped closer and reached again. The edge of the book brushed your fingertips, but Jaehyun effortlessly lifted it higher.
"Seriously?" you groaned.
"Seriously."
You made one last ambitious grab, rising onto your toes. Unfortunately, your balance had other plans.
Your foot caught on the leg of a nearby chair. Who even put it there?
The world tilted, and before you could fully process what was happening, you stumbled forward straight into Jaehyun's chest.
His free arm instinctively wrapped around your waist to keep you from falling.
For a moment, neither of you moved. When you look up at him, you're met with those beautiful brown eyes you've been dreaming about.
"You know," he said, "If you wanted an excuse to end up in my arms, you could've just asked. No need to blame the book."
"You are unbelievably full of yourself."
"And yet you're still in my arms."
For one horrible second, you heart stopped beating all together.
Then you shoved him away. And you could swear you saw him look at your lips for a split second before you did.
"Shut up."
His laugh followed you long after you'd stepped back.
You crossed your arms, pretending that your face doesn't feel like a thousand degrees right now.
His eyes sparkled because he knew how much it did affect you.
That was another problem.
Jaeyhyun looked happiest when he was driving you crazy.
"And also, you do know that most people just use the front door?"
"Most people don't have librarians obsessed with them."
"Oh?"
His eyebrow lifted.
The idiot.
The annoyingly attractive idiot.
"You think I'm obsessed with you?"
"I know you are."
A laugh escaped him.
"Princess."
Your stomach betrayed you immediately, as the butterflies broke free.
You hated loved when he called you princess.
Because he only did it when he wanted to watch you malfunction.
"I am absolutely not obsessed with you."
"You broke into my workplace."
"To avoid seeing you."
"Still counts."
"It doesn't."
"It does."
"It doesn't."
"It does."
You stared at each other. You with fury in your eyes and he with too much amusement in his.
"You know what I think is the funniest part?"
You immediately scoffed.
"Leave me alone."
"No, hear me out."
"I'd rather not."
His grin only widened.
The problem with Jaehyun's grin was that it always meant trouble.
The bigger problem was that you secretly liked it. A lot.
"You held onto this book for six months."
You pointed at him.
"Because of you."
His eyebrows shot up.
"Oh, that's dangerous information for me to have."
"It wasn't a compliment."
"Pretty sure it was."
"It wasn't."
Jaehyun took a slow step forward.
You took one back.
"You were embarrassed."
"No."
"You were."
"No."
"You absolutely were."
Another step.
You backed away again.
Jaehyun looked far too pleased about it.
"Tell me I'm wrong."
"You're wrong."
"You snuck into a library at night."
"That proves nothing."
"To return a book."
You glared.
He smiled knowingly.
"The evidence is overwhelming."
You hated that smile.
You hated the way it made your stomach flip.
You hated the way he clearly knew it too.
"Besides," he continued, lazily flipping through the book in his hands, "if you were really returning it because you forgot..."
His eyes flicked up to yours.
"...you would've returned it before chapter twenty-three."
Your jaw dropped.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE?"
The look on his face was pure victory.
"Oh my God."
"You just answered your own question."
You buried your face in your hands.
Behind them, you heard Jaehyun laughing.
Actually full on laughing.
The jerk.
"That chapter, huh?"
"Stop talking."
"Interesting choice."
"Jaehyun."
"Very interesting choice."
"JAEHYUN."
His grin only got bigger.
"Good taste, though."
You made a strangled noise.
The amusement dancing in his eyes was unbearable.
And somehow incredibly attractive.
Which was honestly another one of your problems.
"You know," he said, taking another step closer, "I always wondered why you kept renewing it."
"Please stop."
"I thought maybe you were busy."
You backed away again.
"I was-"
"And then I realized you were renewing it every few days."
You hit a bookshelf.
Your heart immediately stumbled.
Because now there was nowhere else to go.
Jaehyun noticed.
His gaze flicked briefly behind you before returning to your face.
The smile he wore became slower.
More dangerous.
More teasing.
"Oh."
"Don't."
"You've run out of escape routes."
You swallowed.
"This is a library, not a hostage negotiation."
“You always this dramatic when someone catches you? I was starting to think you wanted to get caught." He says with that infuriating smirk as he grabs the shelf next to your head, caging you in.
You hated how close he was.
You hated how aware you suddenly was of every inch between you.
You hated how much he seemed to enjoy it.
You especially hated how he could practically hear your heart beating right now.
His eyes dropped to the book.
Then back to you.
"You know what's really embarrassing?"
"Everything about this conversation."
"No."
His voice lowered slightly.
"The fact that after six months, after sneaking into a locked building, after all this effort..."
He chuckled at your expression.
"...you still never asked me for recommendations."
You blinked.
"What?"
Jaehyun tilted his head.
"I work in a library."
You looked at him like he said the moon is pink.
He stared back completely serious.
Then his smirk cracked through again.
"If you're going to read something that has you blushing this hard, I could've saved you some time."
You made a noise somewhere between a gasp and a groan.
"You're impossible."
"I know."
"Insufferable."
"I know."
"Annoying."
"I know."
He looked entirely too content about it.
Then, his expression softened just enough to make your chest ache.
"And yet."
You tried so hard to hide how your breath caught.
Jaehyun's gaze lingered on yours.
The teasing was still there.
But so was something else.
Something warmer.
Something that had been there for months.
"And yet," he said again, smiling, "you keep coming back."
The butterflies in your stomach became completely unmanageable.
For a second neither of you spoke.
The library felt impossibly quiet.
Just the two of you.
The old shelves.
The dim lights.
Jaehyun looked at you for a moment.
Then shook his head softly.
"What?"
He laughed under his breath.
"Nothing."
"Tell me."
His eyes sparkled.
"I was just thinking."
"That's never a good sign."
"No?"
"No."
His smile widened.
"I was thinking it's kind of unfair."
"What's unfair?"
"You spent six months reading about fictional men."
"And?"
"And now I have competition."
You stared.
Actually stared.
Because that was such a ridiculous thing to say.
Such an outrageous thing.
Such a completely Jaehyun thing.
The look on his face told you he knew exactly what he was doing.
"You are unbelievable."
"Am I really, my princess?"
"You are."
His gaze flicked briefly to your lips for a second time that night.
Then back to your eyes.
"Good."
Before you could think of something to throw back, he leaned in. And looked back into your eyes when he was just a hair away,
"May I?"
You nodded since you couldn't trust your voice anymore.
The kiss was warm, the kind that immediately made every coherent thought disappear.
It was like nothing you imagined and everything you feared you’d have to wait for forever. Soft at first, tentative—like testing if it’s real—but the hesitation melted instantly. Every second of holding back crashes into this single, electric instant.
Your heart hammers, your chest feels too full, and the world shrinks to just the two of you. You taste the patience, the longing, the unsaid words, and it’s dizzying. Every nerve is alive, and yet, somehow, it’s calm too—like all the waiting was necessary to make this so perfect.
When he pulled away, he was still smiling.
Still looking unbearably pleased with himself.
You rolled your eyes once again.
"Don't look so smug."
"I earned it."
"You absolutely did not."
His grin only grew.
Then he leaned closer, voice low enough that it felt like a secret.
"Next time you need help finding something spicy..."
Your face immediately heated.
"Jaehyun!"
His voice dropped an octave, low and dangerous, "Come to me instead… I’ll show you the live-action version. Every scene, every moment… more intense than anything in those books." He leaned in even closer. "And I'll make it so much better than your imagination, princess."
● Summary: After your friends convince you to go out for a good time, you find yourself dragged along to a popular bar. But unexpected circumstances are about to lead you straight to a very particular being.
● Warnings/Tags: Jaehyun Demon!, smut (not explicit), forbidden romance, no use of y/n.
● Words: 4.2k
● A/N: English isn't my first lenguage.
The rain fell over the city like a silent curse that night.
The neon lights melted against the wet pavement while you walked behind your friends with a half-hearted expression, hugging yourself against the chill that seeped into your bones.
"We can still go back," you murmured, your voice nearly drowned out by the downpour.
"Not a chance," Mina said, gripping your arm firmly. "You’ve been cooped up for weeks. Tonight you’re having fun, even if I have to drag you."
You sighed, resigned.
The bar in front of you glowed in hues of red and gold—elegant, but far too noisy for your taste. A luminous sign spelled out the name Neocity above the entrance. You couldn't shake the heavy feeling in your chest, a strange foreboding you couldn't quite decipher.
You didn't know that the very instant you stepped through those doors, someone stopped breathing.
Because he was already there.
Waiting for you.
Watching you.
From the darkest corner of the bar, that demon in human form slowly raised his eyes. At that exact moment, the entire world seemed to go completely silent. It wasn't a poetic metaphor; the blaring music grew distant, conversations vanished, and the thick smoke in the air seemed to freeze for a second as his black eyes locked solely onto you.
There you were again.
The impossible girl. The human with light in her blood.
He had been following you for months. Months of watching you from a distance, like an addict incapable of drawing close to the very thing that, ironically, could destroy him with its own purity. You weren't like the others. Humans usually fell before him in seconds. A single glance, a smile, the imperceptible brush of his fingers was enough to unleash an uncontrollable desire—a need bordering on obsession.
He was the demon of lust. Sin made flesh. People adored him without realizing it, surrendering to their darkest impulses under his influence.
But with you… with you, it was different.
You walked through the world with a softness he found unbearable, a cruel innocence that made something inside him burn with an intensity he had never known.
And he, a creature born of hell, had become completely incapable of tearing his eyes away from you. It was ridiculous, dangerous, humiliating. But there you were, in front of him, once again.
And tonight… tonight he was finally going to speak to you.
"We’re going to dance, you coming?" Mina said, already moving to the beat of the music.
You shook your head, despite your friend's attempts to pull you from your seat. She finally gave up and headed toward the dance floor, leaving you alone by the bar. You absentmindedly adjusted the sleeves of your leather jacket as you scanned the venue, feeling the weight of the crowd and the suffocating heat. You ordered a drink just to have something to do with your hands.
And then you felt it.
A presence behind you. It wasn't exactly physical heat; it was something deeper, a heaviness in the air that shifted everything.
You turned slowly. And you saw him. Your heart took a violent leap.
The man in front of you looked… unreal. Beautiful. Dangerously beautiful. He was dressed entirely in black, and the intricate, dark tattoos climbing up his neck seemed to take on a life of their own under the flashing lights. His skin was flawless, and his black eyes were so deep they were frightening if you looked for too long.
For a second, you forgot how to breathe. He offered a faint smile, and the world seemed to crumble.
"May I sit?" he asked, his voice deep, calm, and strangely comforting.
You should have said no. Any intelligent person would have said no. But something in his magnetism drew you in a way you couldn't explain—an urgency that overridden your common sense.
You nodded slowly.
He took the seat next to you. Instantly, the scent of his cologne—woody, warm, slightly sweet—enveloped you, drowning out the bar's smell of alcohol and tobacco.
"You don't seem to be enjoying this place very much," he commented, watching you with absolute attention.
"Is it that obvious?"
"A little."
"My friends made me come."
"Then I should thank them."
Your cheeks flushed slightly at his direct comment. He noticed, of course. Demons perceived every minuscule change in the human body: the accelerated rhythm of your heart, your unsteady breathing, the way your pupils dilated when you looked at him. He could sense the desire awakening inside you—small and trembling, but real. And it nearly drove him insane.
"What's your name?" you asked, trying to regain control of the conversation.
There was a pause. His true name couldn't be uttered in human tongue; it was ancient, violent, a name that made entire creatures tremble. But with you, tonight, he wanted to be something else—something less monstrous.
"Jaehyun," he finally replied. The name sounded all too natural leaving his lips, but to him, it felt like a white lie.
"Beautiful name."
*If you only knew what I truly am* he thought. But he smiled. "And yours?"
When you said your name, Jaehyun felt something dark twist painfully inside his chest. Because even your name sounded precious to him.
Pathetic. Completely pathetic.
Talking to him was strangely easy. Time began to slip away without you noticing; the conversation flowed as if you had known each other your entire lives. He listened to your every word with absolute attentiveness, making you feel seen, special, safe.
That was the worst part. Because Jaehyun wasn't safe. He was destruction disguised as beauty. But with you, he wanted to pretend he could be human, just for one night.
The music suddenly shifted to something slower, more sensual. Jaehyun tilted his head slightly toward you, his gaze locked onto yours.
"Dance with me."
It wasn't really a question, and yet you nodded. He guided you toward the dance floor. It was packed with people, but the moment his hands settled firmly on your waist, the rest of the world seemed to vanish. You felt an intense, almost electric heat radiating from his body. Your fingers slid slowly up to his shoulders as he pulled you closer.
Too close. Your chest brushed against his. You could feel it again: that strange, potent heat beneath his skin, like a contained fire fighting to break free.
Jaehyun looked down at you, devouring your lips, your eyes, your shaky breath. He was running out of self-control. Never before had he needed to restrain himself this much around a human. Because he didn't just want to possess you; he wanted to keep you, and that terrified him more than any infernal punishment.
"You're looking at me like you want to tell me something," you whispered, trapped in his gaze.
He smiled faintly, his face drawing dangerously close to yours.
"Maybe I do."
"And what would that be?"
Jaehyun tilted his face slightly, so close you could feel his warm breath on your lips.
"That you are dangerous."
You let out a small, nervous laugh, your heart racing wildly.
"I think you're the danger here."
Oh, if you only knew…
When his lips finally touched yours, you felt the world tilt completely. It wasn't a soft kiss, nor was it rough; it was intense, desperate, as if he had been holding back for centuries. Your hand ended up tangled in his dark hair as he deepened the kiss slowly, trapping you against his firm body.
And Jaehyun… Jaehyun was losing his mind. Your taste was addictive, warm, human—worse than any punishment he could ever imagine. His fingers tightened slightly around your waist as a dangerous darkness vibrated just beneath his skin.
For a split second, his eyes flashed a vivid red. Just a second. But you didn't see it, far too busy trying to remember how to breathe.
You don't remember exactly how you ended up leaving the bar. You only remember the rain hitting your faces, your nervous laughter, and his hand holding yours tightly as you walked hurriedly toward your apartment. And the way he looked at you in silence: as if you were something sacred, something he should have never touched but could no longer let go.
The tension exploded the moment you crossed the threshold of the apartment. Jaehyun kissed you with ferocity against the door as soon as it slammed shut behind you, enveloping both of you in the darkness of the entryway. Your hands desperately traced his neck while he held you with barely contained desperation.
Every touch of his seemed to set your skin on fire. Your ragged breaths filled the silence of the place. And yet… there was something strange about him. His body was too hot, almost feverish. The shadows in the room seemed to shift and twist on their own whenever Jaehyun lost his focus. At times, you could swear you felt something dark and alive sliding just beneath his tattooed skin.
But every time you tried to process it, he would kiss you again and your mind would simply stop working.
"Jaehyun…" you whispered between breaths, your voice trembling.
He closed his eyes upon hearing his name in your voice, fighting his own instincts. He didn't know how much longer he could hide it. The desire inside him was beginning to blend with something far more dangerous: the demonic instinct to claim, to possess. And he shouldn't do it. Not with you.
The urgency carried you both from the entryway to the kitchen. You found yourself sitting on the cold countertop while he rested his forehead against yours in the dim light. His hands moved slowly over your waist and hips with a reverence that contrasted sharply with the intensity of his gaze. He seemed to be trying to memorize your every curve, your every texture.
And then you saw it. It was only for a second, but it was unmistakable. The dark shadows on his neck began to move. It wasn't a trick of the light; they seemed to spread and writhe like living ink over his burning skin.
Your eyes widened, confusion mingling with desire.
"What…?" your voice came out as a thread.
Jaehyun cursed internally, his breathing turning husky. The darkness vanished immediately, his tattoos becoming static once more, but it was too late. You had noticed.
You backed away slightly on the counter, fear beginning to seep in. He slowly raised his eyes to meet yours, and this time, he didn't look entirely human. His black eyes glowed faintly red under the dim kitchen light.
You expected to feel panic. You should have screamed, run, done something. But all you felt was your heart racing even faster—a strange mixture of terror and an unyielding attraction.
"Who are you?" you asked in a low voice, your gaze locked onto his.
Jaehyun remained silent for several long seconds, his breathing the only sign of life. Then he smiled with infinite sadness.
"Someone who should have stayed far away from you."
But he didn't move. And neither did you.
"Tell me the truth," you demanded, your voice gaining strength despite everything.
His gaze swept over your face slowly, as if he were deciding how much pain he could cause you with a single word. Finally, he spoke, his voice deeper than ever.
"I am not human."
The air grew heavy, oppressive, and the lights in the apartment flickered for just an instant.
"Then… what are you?" your voice was a barely audible whisper.
Jaehyun held your gaze, his expression serious and tormented.
"A demon."
A heavy silence fell between the two of you. He expected fear, screams, for you to hate him and run away. But you only stared at him, trying to process his words.
"That's impossible."
He let out a bitter little laugh.
"I wish it were."
And then, the shadows in the room truly began to move around him. Dark, alive, slowly climbing up his arms like black smoke rising from his burning skin.
Your lips parted slightly. Because now you could see it: the creature hidden beneath the human skin, the raw power radiating from him. And yet… and yet he was still beautiful, in a terrifying and fascinating way.
"I should go," he said, his voice tense with the effort of restraining himself.
But he made no move to step away from you. Because he didn't want to. Because he had been desiring you for months with an intensity that consumed him. The demon inside him had already made a choice long before speaking to you.
Instead of backing away, you moved closer to him. Jaehyun looked at you, genuinely surprised by your reaction.
"You don't understand me," he murmured. "I am literally the worst thing that could ever get close to someone like you."
"Then why haven't you hurt me?"
He froze, left without an answer. Because he had never wanted to protect anyone before. Because his instinct had always been to take, not to care.
"Jaehyun…"
Your hand rose slowly until it touched his burning face. And that… that completely broke him. His eyes closed briefly against your palm, like a starving creature receiving warmth for the first time in its existence.
"Don't do that," he whispered, his voice broken.
"Do what?"
"Treat me as if there's something good in me."
Your heart clenched painfully. And before you could answer, he kissed you again. This time with something deeper, more desperate and vulnerable. As if he were damned and knew that, after tonight, there would be no turning back for either of you.
His hands moved up your curves, tracing a path dictated by absolute possessiveness. Before you could even process the heat of his touch, your jacket and shirt had already been stripped from your body, tossed carelessly out of his line of sight.
Jaehyun's hands relished the warmth of your breasts while his lips traced a trail of wet kisses that devoured your neck, descending slowly down your collarbones to the valley of your chest.
Every little gasp that escaped your lips was an addictive melody to the demon's ears, igniting a primitive, wild, and relentless side within him.
With determination, he took you into his arms. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you allowed him to guide you through the darkness toward your bedroom. During the entire journey, you could feel his intense arousal pressing hard against your center—a constant reminder of the desire consuming him.
"You're perfect," he whispered barely as your bodies fell onto the soft bed, his pinning you down with a deliciously overwhelming weight.
With superhuman agility, Jaehyun unfastened your pants and, in one swift movement, stripped the garment from you. Though you still wore your underwear, you suddenly felt self-conscious under the gaze of Jaehyun, who no longer bothered to hide his piercing crimson eyes. They were two pools of carmine fire devouring your nakedness. Seeking refuge from that intensity, you drew him back to you, kissing his mouth with devotion while his hands—slightly rough from the pent-up energy—removed the thin fabric of your panties. Your center was already responding to him, completely slick from the mere proximity of his magnetism.
"Ah!" You let out your first gasp against his lips as you felt the pressure of his middle finger forcing its way through your inner walls with a torturous slowness that made you arch your back.
It had been too long since you had experienced contact of this nature, causing your muscles to contract suffocatingly around him, locking him in an intimate, warm embrace.
Jaehyun muffled a growl against your neck, intoxicated by the delicious resistance of your body.
He began to move his fingers in a steady rhythm, exploring your anatomy with an almost mystical precision, drawing spasms of pure pleasure from you. The heat in the room grew dense; the shadows in the corners of the ceiling seemed to writhe to the rhythm of your moans, isolating the bed from the rest of the universe.
When the desire reached a point of no return, Jaehyun rid himself of the last clothing covering him, revealing a perfect, sculpted silhouette where the tattoos on his neck seemed to expand like dark veins across his shoulders and chest. He positioned himself between your legs, pinning your hands above your head with a firmness that made you shudder.
"Look at me," he commanded, his voice vibrating straight into your chest. "I want you to see the creature that is going to claim you."
You locked your eyes onto his, hypnotized by the carmine glow of his pupils. When he joined with you in a firm, deep thrust, you felt the world stop. It wasn't just a physical encounter; it was a tide of electricity and liquid fire expanding through your entire being. His every movement was intense—a perfect blend between the brutality of his demonic nature and an almost sacred adoration for your body. You lost all track of time, completely surrendered to the rhythm of his hips, his hungry kisses, and the possessive words he whispered in your ear. At the night's climax, when the pleasure became so sharp it almost hurt, Jaehyun pressed his lips against your chest, right above your heart, releasing the latent energy of his true essence in one last, desperate claim.
You felt a burning sting, a sweet and piercing pain that made you cling to his broad shoulders while he caught his breath, sealing his pact into your skin before collapsing by your side, exhausted.
● ● ♡ ● ●
Hours later, the apartment remained in absolute silence. The rain kept drumming rhythmically against the windows. And you slept soundly amidst the tangled sheets, completely enveloped by the intense heat of his body.
Jaehyun watched your face in the dim light. Your peaceful breathing, your hand resting trustingly on his chest… something that should be impossible for a creature like him. Because demons didn't love—not truly.
But there he was. Completely lost to you.
His gaze traveled slowly down to the dark mark beginning to appear vividly just below your collarbone. It was an elegant black symbol, resembling ink spreading across your skin.
The bond.
The demonic union.
The irrefutable proof that they were now connected for all eternity.
Jaehyun closed his eyes heavily. He should have stopped. He should have left before it was too late. But it was too late. Because now he could feel you: your soul, your warmth, your very existence beating alongside his own.
And the worst part of all… was that he didn't regret it.
Warnings: FANTASY GALORE. rough break up sex, unprotected sex, slight nipple play, swearing, mentions of other idols
A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I have time.. For NCT-WRITERS Cafe Resonance
—————
Walking around the mall alone and witnessing yet another beautiful, and successful Valentines Day for the year of 2021 and you’re the only person in the world who knew the man behind this beautiful day.
“Alone during Valentine’s day Y/n? Jaehyun hyung can’t come?” Mark, the waiter from the cafe asked you while he serves you your third round of your favorite warm drink. This is where you and Jaehyun first met, and you have been celebrating Valentines day for nearly three years here now just because Jaehyun can see all the lovers holding hands through that clear glass. All his hard work has paid off.
But tonight, he is already two hours late and you wonder why because he has never been late on Valentine’s Day.
“Uhm, Jaehyun will be a little bit late. Business trip. But I completely understand his schedule” you smiled and thanked him.
Of course you’re not sad that Jaehyun couldn’t make it on time this year. Maybe he got caught up with a little work an emergency perhaps? But you do hope that this is nothing serious.
Three Valentine’s Day ago
You were sitting quietly at Cafe Resonance with a warm drink on your side. Just admiring the happy couples that are enjoying the day with flowers, sweets, and different kinds of surprises. It was a normal day for you, but not until a very handsome man sat in front of you on the other side of the table. Giving you three pieces of Cafe Resonance’s Valentine cookies.
A cupid in his human form. Came out to play and enjoy his day for his own selfish needs. The gods forbade Jaehyun to celebrate his own day so he could stay pure like the god that he is and remain sinless and worthy. But the young cupid is full of passion and curiosity that he took his chance to walk on Earth and make himself meet someone that can satisfy his physical wants.
“The cafe manager said that if I want someone to fall on love with me, I should give them a Valentine cookie” he said and flashed a very handsome smile at you. Knowing all too well that what the manager told him was complete bullshit, because no one can force love to happen with anyone but him.
At least that’s what he knew.
Your first encounter with Jaehyun was surprisingly refreshing and fun. You ate all the cookies that he gave and to be honest you only did that to show him that you’re interested with him too, and also it’s not so bad to fall in love with someone like him. He’s nice, decent and well mannered. Though it’s pretty obvious that he’s after for some Valentine’s sex, and you have no problem with that.
At the end of the day, the man made you scream in bed, fucked you on the wall and made you cum for more three times using his cock. He sure knew how to fuck, you thought.
But the bitter feeling and ugly thought of waking up without him by yourself the next day is something you don’t want to happen so even though you’re dead tired from the sex, you try si hard not to sleep yet and make the best of this moment by asking too much questions to him that he likes answering.
Was the valentine cookie from Cafe Resonance real? Is it really possible for you to fall in love with a stranger?
“Go sleep. I promise I’m still here when you wake up” he said.
And he kept his promise not only the day after Valentine’s Day, but also for the next few weeks. Who would expect that a cupid who just wanted to have fun during his day, wasn’t so immune with love after all. And who would expect that he’s willing to be punished by the gods because of you? But what amazes Jaehyun the most, is how you fell in love with him. Because even as a cupid, he didn’t made you like him or used his powers for his selfishness.
Either way, he still refused on believing that the Valentine cookie was real and effective. Such kind of love mustn’t be tolerated he thought.
Life with Jaehyun was sweet and real. Too beautiful to ruin. That’s why when Jaehyun said that he’s leaving, you didn’t take it lightly which soon lead to your first fight.
Jaehyun didn’t have much of a choice but to tell you the truth. Even though you just laughed at him when he finally said the words, he secretly hoped that you’d still understand because he believes that you love him.
“I don’t have a choice Y/n. I’ve been away for months now. I am neglecting my duty as a cupid, by this time the happy couples that we saw during Valentine’s day could have broken up already because I’m not around” he explains frustratedly.
“So you’re saying that you’re the cupid and couples can break up because you’re not around. Because you’ve been busy being happy with me?”
“Yes” he answered weakly and reached for your hand to kiss it. Promising you that he will come back and find you. “It’s just for a year. I’ll sort everything out and I promise I’ll give the love that you deserve”
And as Jaehyun left you as soon as the truth was revealed, you let him leave you with a big doubt and judgement in your heart. Is he secretly married and you’re a mistress now? Have you done something wrong to make him leave you like this? And these ugly thoughts ran thru your mind for months and months during his absence.
During your wait for Jaehyun’s return, you decided to move on and just date anyone to forget everything about Jaehyun. But every time that you plan a date with someone, the set date will be either cancelled or the guy won’t show up. Little did you know that Jaehyun is the man behind those unfortunate events. Secretly watching you from a cloud above you, guiding you towards patience until he returns and win your heart again.
It was not easy for Jaehyun to see you like this, purposely forgetting everything about him like he was just a dream to you. He can’t let that happen, for he knew that what you have is love.
On the next Valentine’s Day, you can’t believe who showed up in your doorstep. He didn’t change a bit, and neither his feelings for you.
“Can I come inside?” the cupid asked nervously.
“I don’t know what game you’re playing, but seriously what are you doing here Jae?”
“I told you I’d come back right? I’m here now, and we don’t have much time-“
“I have a boyfriend now so please leave me alone”
“That’s a lie. I know everything about you, I’ve watch you every day from above for a whole year. Please just believe me. Don’t push me away, I kept my promise didn’t I? I’m here now”
And the thought of Jaehyun keeping his promise was enough for you to welcome him in but your heart is still cold and broken because of what happened from the past.
As you and Jaehyun sit and have a decent conversation, he showed his wings which is enough proof to believe him that he really is the cupid. You were speechless for hours, and your apartment’s for corners was suffocating you so Jaehyun decided to have a walk with you.
He wanted to hold your hand like every couple he sees now. He wanted to whisper how much he misses you and loves you. Ironic isn’t it? He’s the cupid who spreads love on Earth but he can’t have love for himself.
“So how old are you?” you finally spoke. Those were your first words after seeing his wings, and that was four hours ago.
“Human age is 25, but cupid age... I have no idea but let’s say almost 127 years old? That’s still young in cupid years” he smiled and let out a small laugh. Completely missing that you’re shocked to the core upon hearing his age. But now that you know more truths about him, the normal thing you would do was react hysterically and make him leave you alone. Surprisingly, you wanted to hear more about him. To hear more about the truth.
“Tell me more?” You said shyly, slowly reaching for his hand for you to hold and hold it tightly. Oh you missed him.
He smiled so big and reached in for a kiss on the forehead before he tells you more about him and to what he do. The simple walk turned into a date, and of course he brought you to Cafe Resonance to celebrate your reunion and basically your first year of knowing each other. And when you got back to your apartment, he immediately brought you to your room and fucked you all night in different positions.
“When are you going to leave?” you asked while drawing circles on his chest and savouring his warmth.
“Tomorrow” he answered weakly and tightens his embrace, “I can’t be away from duty like what I did last year. The gods might not let me see you if I continue to be stubborn”
“It’s sad. But I understand, and at least now I have something to look forward to”
Three Valentine’s Day later
Thru the years of being together, even when you don’t see each other everyday, Jaehyun always finds a way to show his love for you thru unexpected things. Big or small.
Like during your birthdays, he always sends gifts to you with sweet and short notes. Or like whenever you wake up on your side of the bed and see a feather on his side of the bed. That simply means he’s always with you, like an angel.
This year’s Valentine’s day marks your three years if staying in love with each other, and you’re more than excited with seeing him today. But given that he was hours and hours late already, you decided to call it a day and go home to rest. Maybe he will come by the next day? Nonetheless, you still believe that he will do everything just to be with you.
Three days later, he’s still nowhere to be found and it’s weird how you can’t feel him watching you anymore. What is happening?
“Hi Y/n” Mark greeted you with his normal cheerful aura. “Were you and Jaehyun supposed to meet? You completely missed him. It’s weird actually, he came here not have some coffee but instead he had a talk with the manager”
“Uh- yeah, sorry. I guess I’ll see him at home then,” you answered awkwardly and forgot the cake that you purchased.
When you came back to your apartment, finally you see his unique figure standing by the window and staring blankly at the sky.
“I thought you forgot about me, are you okay? Jaehyun?” You hugged him from behind and kissed his broad shoulders.
“Sorry about that, how are you?” He turned around and return the hug and kisses. Saying that he’s really sorry for leaving you hanging on a very special day.
“I’m fine. What happened? Is there something wrong? You look troubled” you asked, but he didn’t answer your question but instead he kissed you deeply and motioned you towards your bedroom, making a trail of discarded clothes on the floor.
And once you landed on your bed, Jaehyun immediately went on top of you and kissed your neck, all the way down to the valley between your boobs while kneading them and sucking them. His breathing was heavy and you quickly noticed it. You wanted to make him stop and make him talk, but you’re too late.
He already spread your legs wide and positioned himself between your legs, kneeling in front of you so handsomely as he starts touching your pussy with his thumb. Up and down he makes you wet and sensitive, not to mention he was really gentle and slow. At first you thought he was going to fuck you already, but to you surprise he put his two fingers inside you and came closer to you again, to suck your nipples and bite them softly until he’s satisfied.
Swollen and sensitive, that’s how he left your nipples and starts lining his cock on your entrance, slowly pushing in his cock. “Fuck” he comments with a grunt. Putting every inch of his thick and veiny cock inside of you, moving his hips slowly. His head rests on the crook of you neck, his breath tickling you but all you can do now is moan.
Moan and keep him close with your arms wrapped around his frame. And when you whispered “I love you, Jaehyun” that instantly melted his heart and fucked you even more deliciously. But he also wished you didn’t say it to him because now he knows your love is not real. Cafe resonance put you in a spell and only your true love can break it.
He got up from his comfort close to your body and got a hold on your hips, slightly lifting it so he could fuck you harder and so he could see your boobs bounce up and down, grip it whenever he wants to, pinch it whenever he wants to and suck it whenever he wants to.
Suddenly, he pulled out completely only to push back in a little harsher that your head hit the head board. He did it again. Making you hiss with the stretch from your cunt, but the pleasure is driving you insane. He then started to lick your neck and chest, pinning your arms on your side while he fucks you harder. Your moans became louder and you started gripping the sheets and just stop fighting the feeling, and accepting the intensity of every thrust Jaehyun gives you.
“Why are you so rough tonight?” You asked with ragged breaths, toes started curling, and you begged him to go slower because you don’t want to cum yet but he didn’t listen.
He made you cum for the first time tonight and it wasn’t anything you’ve ever had before. You gripped the pillow so tight, moaned his name weakly, and let you shiver and curl beneath him while his hands still roams around your body, his cock still inside you and he hasn’t cum yet, a sign that he is not yet done with you.
Little did you know, he’s scanning every inch of you, engraving your beauty while you’re naked in his mind. For this is your last night together.
“I wanted to talk-“
Jaehyun started talking but to his surprise you voluntarily move your hips and started fucking yourself. He was sure he made you weak already and fucked you hard, how is possible that you still wanted to go for another round? But he wasn’t complaining, in fact he loves the image of you fucking yourself and using him to go off.
“That’s right baby, fuck me. Go deeper” and so you followed what he wanted, after all you’re not doing this for your own pleasure, you’re doing this because you wanted him to cum too.
With widely spread legs and bouncing tits, you moved your hips up and down while Jaehyun is kneeling in between your legs and you have a complete view of Jaehyun’s fucked out face. Eyebrows furrowing, parted swollen pink lips, chanting your name over and over again and telling you how much he loves what he’s seeing and feeling.
“Oh fuck Y/n, you feel so good”
“Fuck baby”
“Go slower, I don’t want to cum yet-“
But you didn’t gave into his request simply because he didn’t go slow earlier with you. So you moved your hips faster, up and down and put on a show for him by kneading your boobs in front of him and pinching your sensitive nipples to make yourself clench around him.
In a matter of seconds, Jaehyun’s hands are around your rib, perfectly placed under your boobs, and your legs are folded so he could go deeper. He took over until he’s finally shooting his warm, thick cum inside you. Satisfied for what you’ve done to him because he landed on top of your body, so weak and his legs are still shaking.
Too tired to clean the cum dripping from your hole, too comfortable in Jaehyun’s arms and presence that you never want to let go.
On the next day, you woke up quite late and you’re all alone in your cold bed. Though you’re completely cleaned and dressed, maybe Jaehyun took care of you last night before he leaves.
Scanning your apartment for something Jaehyun left, a small note or a flower placed somewhere... but you didn’t find anything. He usually leaves with a promise of seeing together again. Maybe he forgot?
When Jaehyun found out the truth about that Valentine cookie, he immediately hated himself for giving it to you and being the root of his heartbreak right now. He needs to fix this by looking for someone that will love you despite still having his effect on you. He’s positive that once your true love showed up, you will completely forget and move on from him.
It’s weird how this year, all you did was feel an unexplainable pain in your chest. A year full of pain and you dont know where your heartbreak is coming. Not to mention, Jaehyun hasn’t been making you feel his presence lately. That’s why you feel so lonely.
6 months have already passed since the last time that you saw him. And suitors always comes in the way, and you wonder how and why because you knew Jaehyun would get rid of them.
And as months passes by, you continue to fool yourself and still believe that Jaehyun will come back to you. Even tho you felt nothing from his presence the whole year.
Until finally, you received a note from him on Valentine’s day 2022.
Go to Cafe Resonance tonight -JH
And so you did, with a big smile on your face and with a new dress you bought specifically for this occasion. You waited for his arrival, looking at your watch every minute... but he never came. Instead, he sent you another note given bu the manager of Cafe Resonance.
“I’m sorry Y/n,” Manager Chenle said handling you the note that contains the saddest news you’ve ever received.
But just before you could open the note, someone sat in front of you and asked permission to share the table with you because everywhere else is full.
“Yes its fine,” you said without even looking at him and proceed to minding your own business. Reading Jaehyun’s last note to you that says.
He is a good man, full of love and has a heart of gold. He is the one destined for you, not me. The love I can give to you, has no match to what he can give to you. I’m sorry.
“By the way I’m Johnny”
The man reached out his hand for you to shake, smiling so handsomely at you. It’s weird how your heart instantly skipped a beat. Jaehyun how could you do this to me.
“I know, I know. But I’m talking about the feeling. It feels like I’m here with you for the first time again and I still think that you’re very beautiful”
Pairing: Jaehyun x female!reader, fubu to lovers
Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, angst?
WC: 3,599
Warnings: protected sex, accidental unprotected sex, pregnancy, mentions of sickness during pregnancy, slight somnophilia, swearing, mentions of other idols
A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I have time. Sorry I didn’t include the promt from my terms haha forgot to but I hope the person who requested this is satisfied
—————————-
It started with a kiss. A very special kiss that’s only held during new year’s eve. He was the one who grabbed you and placed his hand perfectly at the top of your jaw to make you calm. And you swear your world stopped during that meaningless kiss.
“Happy new year,” he said, and smiled oh so handsomely. Placing a friendly kiss on your cheek and pulling you in a hug. He smelled good, he feels warm, and you will never forget that damn cream sweater because it really looked good on him.
The second kiss happened three hours after the first one. It was in your apartment and you and Jaehyun spent the whole night kissing in your bed. Although you’re both all dressed up, your bodies felt like you just had sex because of the intensity from the kissing.
Then after a week you find Jaehyun in between your legs, kissing your inner thighs and wet panties. Making you feel good after you both had a long day at work.
“Mmm. Jae-“ you whine and tried getting away from his soft kitten licks. But he was strong and you can’t do anything about him removing your panties while his lips are on your navel, making you calm and telling you to keep quiet in the most softest tone with the softest kisses.
“Sorry I’ve been too loud,” you apologized but Jaehyun is having none of it.
“No need to say sorry for. I just don’t want our neighbors to get the wrong idea, you know?”
And at that moment, you can only nod. Accept that what you have with Jaehyun is not a relationship but a fucked up sex life. No more, no less. Good thing he never disappoints in bed, that way you forget all the fucked up things and the consequences.
“Can you lay on your stomach? Pretty please?” he said, kissing your neck and bringing you back to reality. You gave him what he asked for and earn a light smack on your ass, followed by a soft kiss that takes away the sting. You giggled at what he did, and stick up your ass so he could fuck you finally.
“Wait- Don’t forget the condom, not on the pill”
You did not see it, but Jaehyun rolled his eyes playfully while putting a condom, good thing the ones you have are thin ones so it feels kinda raw. He reached for your hand and let you stroke his hard cock not only to make him harder but to let you know that he’s not fooling you about the condom.
As you lie on your stomach with your ass up, you feel secured and excited as Jaehyun licks your entrance a few times and put a few finger in your cunt to prepare you. He holds you by the waist and caress whatever skin he can reach. Removing your thin shirt and throwing it away so you’re now both naked in bed.
“How come you never let me fuck you raw?” he asked and placed soft kisses on your shoulders and back while he slowly pushes in. Making you weak and part your lips.
“W-well, do you want to be a dad?” You struggles to tease him as you feel him starts thrusting slow and deep. “Fuck Jaehyun not so deep- still not used to your size baby, please”
“I love it when it when you call me ‘baby’,” he lowly grunted near your ears and started kneading your boobs. He didn’t go any deeper as requested, he didn’t even fucked you hard because he knew you’re not ready, he just had sex with you... a plain, boring sex. But he loves every second of it because it was you. In fact, he loved it so much that he always cums first.
“You always leave me Jae,” you said with ragged breaths and facing the man behind you while he discards the condom. “It’s not fair, you always cum first,” you teased him and switched places with him. You love enjoying the warmth of Jaehyun’s body after sex. Always. He’s like a handsome heater which warms your body and does the job perfectly.
“I’ll buy you a heater next Christmas,” he wraps his arms around you and places kissed on top of your head. You didn’t cum but who cares, he never forgets to care for you and that’s ten times better than cumming.
As the seasons change and so is your apartment, you and Jaehyun never thought that being fuck buddies would be so easy to manage. No strings, no commitments, just condoms and sex.
“Jaehyun, you have your own apartment. You literally live five floors away. Hi,” you kissed him and placed your hand on his shoulders to give him a massage. You just got home from work and you found him working on your study table.
“I know but I like yours better,” he answered and invited you to sit on his lap. Still, you’re not satisfied with what he said and waited for more explanation. He has the biggest apartment in this building, how come he likes this shoe box?
“Okay. I’m prone to get lonely. Listen, I’ll buy the groceries from now and I’ll take care of you... in bed” he said with a smirk and kissed you on the lips. “Have I ever told you how much your kisses affect me?”
“No” you continue kissing him.
“Just a few minutes ago, I’m so stressed at this conference that I needed to attend to this coming weekend. Then here you are, making everything better with your kisses,”
“In that case let me treat you right tonight,”
“That sounds fantastic. You’re the best,” he said and kissed you deeper.
With half a year of being ‘together’ Jaehyun have finally controlled himself in bed and promised himself that he will never cum unless you cum first. So night after night, Jaehyun would fuck you and you try your best not to scream his name so loud for every orgasm that he gives you because Jaehyun... knows how to fuck and is the only man whose dick is so addicting that you want it inside you every night. May it be in you cunt, or in your mouth. You don’t care anymore.
So tonight, it’s your first time trying such thing. You know, being in command and in control the whole night. “Baby, you don’t need to this. Really, I’m fine-“ but his breath was taken away when your lips touched the tip of his cock. Slowly you take him and allow your tongue to do the magic. Well, you guess the magic is effective because Jaehyun can’t stop moaning and asking for more. His face was so fucked up, lidded sexy eyes that can’t look away from you, and on top of this, his lips were all pink and parted the whole time.
“Really Jaehyun? That good?” you rested your jaw and allow him to enjoy his first orgasm, letting him cum while your hand continuously strokes him. You asked for a kiss which he gladly gave you. Moaning and grunting deliciously while you touch him.
But just as he thought that you’re done for the night, you spread those creamy thighs of his and caress it gently. Earning a small laugh from him, a sign that he can’t believe that you have more plans for him. He looked you straight in the eye with a handsome smile, thinking how beautiful you are... and also how he loves the way you match his craziness in bed as if you’re soulmates.
“Never had a girl spread my legs before,” he comments while you make sure he’s comfortable.
“Do you want me to fuck you like how you do to me? Or do you want me to ride you? Choose wisely Jung,” he teased him while licking and sucking his nipples.
“You can fuck me hard another day, ride me slow tonight?” He answered.
“Good choice,” you answered back and proceed to put condom on his cock, before you put it inside slowly. You watch Jaehyun went crazy while you put his cock inside you, his grip on your waist was incredibly tight like you’re going away any minute. And when you started moving, he was completely lost and speechless that all he did was moan, shut his eyes close and hold on to your waist.
“Fuck- go slower please, I don’t want to cum yet” And so you did, moving your hips slower to his request. “Do I feel good?” he asked and put two fingers in your mouth. You can only nod and swirl your tongue around his fingers, you wonder what was that for.
“Too much Jaehyun don’t do that,” and just like that you question was answered when he removed his fingers from your mouth and put it on your clit to draw circles that makes your legs shake in an instant.
“Or else what? Cum with me,” He said with smirk.
And so the night ended with you and Jaehyun cumming together and enjoyed quality time in bed after a good orgasm. Who would need a label if it already feels like you’re in love with each other. Right?
Before he leaves to go to Japan for a couple of weeks, you decided to go grocery shopping together which is one of your favourite things to do with Jaehyun because sometimes when you’re out in public, he holds your hand unconsciously while walking, or place a soft kiss on top of your head whenever you’re close to him. Some habits of his that never stayed in bed, and you love it.
And at the end of a beautiful day, he made you a very delicious dinner that he made with love.
“I’ll cook for you more when I get back, I promise”
“Wow my private chef is so amazing,” you praise him and his cooking. Tasting the first dish he hands you and wow, it’s very delicious.
“Is that what you think of me Y/n? Your private chef?” he asked out of nowhere. Accidentally ruining your mood and making you nervous for nothing. “Baby, don’t get me wrong” he reached for a kiss on your temple to take away your nervousness. “For sure, I’m more than just a guy you fuck. I just want to know what goes through that sexy brain of yours,”
This is it, Jaehyun thought. If you say that you have feelings for him even the slightest bit, he will kiss you and make it official from now on. He’s just so scared to be rejected if he’s the one to tell his feelings out loud.
“Well, uhm. A good friend that knows how to cook and knows how to fuck. Seriously, Jae why are you single?”
Clueless and unaware, Jaehyun sat there like a stone while he listens to you eat and enjoy your food. Heartbroken and speechless, all this time he can’t believe that he’s just a friend to you. He was so vocal and pretty obvious with his motive, but still you can’t see his point.
Little did he know, you love every inch of him. And you wish that what you have now is real instead of just fucking and being sweet to each other without any reason.
Surprisingly that night, Jaehyun didn’t want to have sex. “I just want to hug you all night until we fall asleep,” he says. And so you did. Hands intertwined, bodies closer than ever, listening to the sound of the air conditioning and each other’s heartbeats.
Something is wrong and you both know that but too shy to fix it.
While Jaehyun is gone for his business trip, you were so busy with work and almost every night you go home exhausted and really tired. So this is life if Jaehyun is to leave you. Cold, lonely and tiring. Funny how you just realize now how that peach can brighten up a small room with only his presence alone.
You: My apartment misses you 😞
Jaehyun: I miss you. I will be home soon 😘
Meanwhile, in Japan with nine of Jaehyun’s workmates in a night club, he was downing a couple of strong drinks while watching his friends be entertained by a few girls.
“Not getting some tonight?” Johnny asked when he noticed Jaehyun has been staring and fidgeting on his phone the whole night. Not the usual Jaehyun.
“Nah I would rather release mine when I get home” Jaehyun answered while waiting for your reply.
Anyone who’s close with Jaehyun for a long period of time would straight up recognize that he’s serious now and he’s willing to give love a chance.
After a couple of days, he finally got home in the middle of the night, and found you sleeping soundly in your room. Wearing a thin shirt and panties. He shook his head on disbelief with a small smile, and quietly joined you in bed.
“I’m home, wake up. For me? Please? I missed you so much” he said in between kissing every exposed skin of yours but you just won’t wake up. Maybe you’re tired? Exhausted? Okay he’ll give up. But before he even stops, he found himself hard and horny and did not realized that his hand is hook on your panties ready to remove it.
And so he did.
“Jae it’s the middle of the night. Welcome back,” and you finally woke up when you felt your thighs being kissed softly. “Missed me that much?” you see that he already removed your panties and his pants.
“So much. Are you tired?” he asked before he proceeds.
“Just sleepy. Want to fuck?”
“Haven’t had sex for weeks. Are you really asking me that?” He laughed quietly while placing lustful kisses on your neck. Hands started to slowly lift you shirt to expose you to him, he did the same thing. He removed his underwear and placed himself in between your legs. “Remember our first night making out this bed?”
“How could I forget? That night was beautiful”
“Well it kinda feels like this-“
“I completely remember that we were wearing clothes that night while were making out,” you giggled.
“I know, I know. But I’m talking about the feeling. It feels like I’m here with you for the first time again and I still think that you’re very beautiful” he admitted, kissing your lips oh so softly like that night during New Year’s Eve.
“That’s sweet Jaehyun-“
“I love you Y/n. And I hope you can love me back,” he rested his head on your chest. Feeling weak and hopeless. He somehow thought that this night will be your last night together, and he was ready to say goodbye.
But
He felt your embrace that made him look at you. “Baby, what took you so long?” you smiled and kissed him deeply pressing his body on yours, chest to chest, lips to lips, soul to soul.
For the first time in your lives, it was not about just for the sake of having sex then cumming afterwards. Tonight is all about love and you and Jaehyun made love for the first time in your bed.
He was whispering how much he loves you the whole nigh while he fucks you slow and deep. Hard for a few seconds but it never stayed like that for too long.
“Jaehyun, baby, more” you asked while you feel yourself on the verge of cumming. Moaning how much he feels good, moaning how much you love every inch of him that’s inside you. He fucks you how you wanted it while he sucks and licks your nipples. This is how he knows everything inch of your body.
Of course he came first, then you. And it was the first time he watch you cum like this. So satisfied, so happy and contented.
“You do realize that from now we have to fight sometimes?” you smiled and teased him while he’s busy pulling out.
“Yeah, I would rather fight with you so I can love you harder afterwards,” he smiled and intertwined his hands with yours. Kissing your knuckles and eventually sleeping together.
On the next day, a sleeping tired and handsome naked Jaehyun is the first thing you see the moment you opened your eyes. “Good morning,” you greeted softly, raking his hair away from his face. Attempting to wake him up but he wouldn’t so you let him to rest.
When you came to the bathroom for your morning routine, you happily remember every second that happened last night in bed and caught yourself smiling alone. You brushed your teeth and washed your face, then you saw the box of condoms unopened....
That shit ruined your morning.
You didn’t tell Jaehyun. You wouldn’t dare because you knew it would freak him out just like how it freaked you out. Or maybe you’re just scared that he’ll leave you. Nonetheless Jaehyun found out about your situation because things aren’t normal anymore.
Whenever he invites you to have sex, you will politely refuse and tell him you’re not in the mood or you feel sick. Which is something he highly respects of course, and ended up taking care of you the whole night.
And speaking of being sick, he noticed that you’ve been having morning sickness and have been vomiting without even a warning.
“Shit Y/n, so when are you going to tell me?” He said while soothing your back while you vomit on the sink and eventually wash your mouth.
You were silent. Because honestly you don’t know if he wanted to continue being a father or he’s disappointed of whats happening right now.
The early months of your pregnancy was hell. It feels like you were alone the whole time even if you’re in the same room as Jaehyun. You were just a starting couple and you didn’t have the time to enjoy it because of your pregnancy. The once sweet and caring Jaehyun you fell in love with changed. Though he’s still here, but things were never the same again.
Until one day, the saddest thing that could happen in your life right now happened on a cold night.
He was standing by the door with his stuff the moment you woke up from your nap. Weak and shocked as fuck with whats happening, Jaehyun kissed you on your temple and apologized.
“I’m sorry. I’m not ready. I’ll support you and the baby financially. That’s all I can do-“
“Asshole. Get out I never want to see you again,” you said weakly and went back to bed. You heard the door closed and your apartment was lonelier than ever.
The next day, you found out that Jaehyun went back to the US to his family because the landlord was so clueless to what happened between you and Jaehyun, that he even gave you Jaehyun’s plant.
You and Jaehyun were both devastated and, lonely the moment you two broke up. He knew that it was stupid to leave you, you knew that you needed to at least listen to what he feels about the baby. Both have faults but clearly, you still love each other deeply.
And just as you thought that it’s already too late for you and Jaehyun, after a few months and your belly is all big and you can watch the baby kick... Jaehyun came back and you welcomed him with tears and open arms.
You loved each other more, fought more and forgive each other because it’s how a relationship supposed to be. Things have been hard with adjusting and starting a life together, but this is better living a lonely life from his family.
As you and Jaehyun wait for the baby to come out, surprisingly he is doing such a great job as the father and provider of his now small family. He bought a small house where you can finally call home and because he told you that your apartment was too small for the three of you.
When the baby finally came out Jaehyun was the one who’s so excited to touch the baby’s hand and introduced himself as his dad. Yes, it’s a boy. And when the three of you are now complete in the house that he bought, he has never been so happy in his life now that he gets to carry his son.
Your life has become extraordinary when the baby came into your lives. It was tiring, yes, especially now that you’re back to working and Jaehyun has been very busy with his work lately, but being in the presence of you baby can take every tiredness away.
“You go sleep, I got this”
Jaehyun said when he heard the baby cry the moment he came home from work. And when he stepped into the nursery, the baby stopped crying and started playing with the pillow. “Oh you want play? Okay big guy, let’s play” he carries the baby out from his crib and let him crawl on the matted floor with toy pillows and Jaehyun started playing with his son even though he’s tired to the bone from work. And when the baby decided to sleep again, Jaehyun went back to your shared room and... well, played with you too.
“I missed you” he said while spreading kisses on your exposed leg until he reaches your neck and give you a few tickles. Finally he can call it a day.
On New Year’s Eve, and while waiting for the clock to strike 12, you received more than a kiss from him this time because finally, he asked you to marry him.
“We were just two kids back then, but now we have two kids.”
Pairing: Jaehyun x female!reader
Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, angst if you squint, childhood friends to lovers, growing up au, college au, to being married.
WC: 3,522k
Warnings: mentions of getting bullied during kindergarten, alcohol consumption on a college party, getting drunk, swearing, spitting, oral sex: male and female receiving, slight cum play, overstimulation, fingering, cream pie, unprotected sex, switching positions, smut scene is kind of long.
A/N: I just want to post something.
Meant to be. You and Jaehyun are meant to be. But not as lovers, at least not yet. For now, you believe that you and Jaehyun are meant to be best friends.
It all started when you saw him starring at his blank paper, close to tears while other kids are teasing him for not having a box of crayons. You came in bolting and scaring those kids with your wrath and told Jaehyun, “stop being such a loser,” and shared with him your box of crayons.
On the next day, you forgot your colors at home and you felt like such a loser because everyone was busy drawing and coloring their works while you’re stuck with this great idea in your mind for your artwork.
“Stop being such a loser,” Jaehyun said and sat beside you to share his box of colors with you this time.
▸ Jaehyun x reader
▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Demon Jaehyun, Prostitute reader
▸ HALLOWEEN SERIES: 127 HOUSE
▸ 5/5 for NEOHALLOWEEN writing festival hosted by @nct-writers
Summary: Jaehyun is a demon who uses girls to make him stay handsome. He eats girls… literally. Then he met you and he can’t eat you because he’s in love with you.
Word count: 7K
Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, a lot of killings, mentions of killings, Blood, lots and lots of blood, killings again, then another killings, eating of human flesh, filthy (I’m telling you), all kinds of sex, swearing, abduction, mentions of eating children but he stopped don’t worry, pregnancy, murder, attempted murder, suicide (?), prostitution, mentions of sex club, depression, mentions of therapy, mentions of cheating
A/N: Pure fiction, we all know that Jaehyun doesn’t need girls to make him handsome. I made this filthier than ever because it’s my last fic for 127 House. I made a timestamp for this as a bonus preview so if you already read it, yay. Inspired by the movie Jennifer’s Body and Pretty Woman. I changed the ending last minute I hope you wont hate me. Also, I’m sure a lot of you want to read more Jaehyun eating girls, literally, in action. So I will just make another timestamp for that in the next few days.
Taglist: For the last time, if I happen to forget you I’m so sorry :( @chocolattees @floweringtheflowers @huangxx @bumblebeenct @neosculptures @kooksfairyfloss @jaehyunoos @soothingjae @plump-peach @neospirited @jeongyoonohs @shanghai-lu @seriousballoon @sunshinedhyuck @the-universe-in-you-jjh @mira-winterlight @generantionct @mal-nakamoto23 @svteencarat @johnjaespeach @jinsonaz @hyuckshoe69
Halloween present time
“Mom, can you tell me the story about the monster who eats humans just so he can look like one too?” your nine-year-old daughter snuggles beside you on a Halloween night, tired from trick or treating and already sleepy.
“Just because it’s Halloween” you boop her nose and kept her close to you, stroking her head and making her comfortable.
“Once upon a time, there were five teenagers who want to make a deal with the devil. The clueless teenagers did not know that what they were doing was wrong. Meaning, wrong methods, wrong sacrifice.
Given that they don’t know what they were doing, they singlehandedly or accidentally brought a creature into this world. The bothered creature that was summoned ate the teenagers as the creature was so confused, why was he bothered in his own torture cell in hell?
It starved for days, lost in a world that’s not familiar to him. He fed himself with every human who crosses paths with him, men, women, and children. Until it finally knew that eating humans can make him look just like them.
The creature adapted in this world, living like a normal human and walking amongst us, still not knowing how to go home. “
Halloween many many many years ago
“And that creature is me. Happy Halloween class, enjoy the night” Jaehyun finishes his story in front of his class. Watching every student laugh and shrug his ‘scary’ story for Halloween. They thought he was joking, and that was the fun part Jaehyun thought.
▸ Jung Jaehyun x reader
▸ 2k words
▸ Fluff, Smut, Angst
▸ angel reader, demon jaehyun, loss of virginity
From when you were only just a small angel, your senior angels told you to never trust a demon or anything that came from hell. The instructions were simple, avoid them at all costs.
Now that you’re all grown up, you’re finally allowed to guard and guide humans that in need of your presence. And as you do your job, of course, demons will always and always distract you. Demons are always awfully handsome, it’s part of their ways to distract humans and even angels like you. Growing up, there’s this one consistent demon who’s always following you from when you were just starting to be a guardian and up until now that you’re a senior angel.
Jung Jaehyun. A handsome demon who’s always by your side, annoying from sun up until sundown.
“Hey” he called you while you were putting a child to sleep, making the little girl calm because she was afraid of the dark. You ignore the demon and continue making the little girl calm. “I just wanted to say you’re beautiful” he whines. The demon is not just annoying because he wants to, he was bold about his feelings for you ever since you two hit puberty and the demon fell for your angelic features.
▸ Jung Jaehyun x reader
▸ Fluff, SMUT
▸ Genie au just because *whistles Make A Wish*
“Why don’t we talk about it during sex? Hmm?” He came closer to you, lips close on your neck, feeling his hot breath on your exposed collar bones. It’s hard to think about your three wishes while this handsome genie is busy fulfilling his own wish.
“One round, I’ll make it count and I’ll grant your three wishes” he whispers, reminding you of the sole purpose why you agreed to have sex with the genie that you found in your new house. His need to take you is very obvious, you can see it in his eyes, the way he kisses you gently but enough to take your breath away. You feel your body hit the mattress while his lips take your thoughts away, making you dive into lust and just let him do as he pleases.
The genie carefully slips his hands on your panties, removing your thin dress and putting his hands on your boobs. Squeezing gently, careful not to hurt you. When his lips touch your nipple, you let out a soft sigh as a way of telling him that it feels good. He smiled and did it again with your other nipple, “have you thought about it yet? Your first wish?” he pinched your nipple without a warning, it didn’t hurt but it sure made you jolt and moan.
“Money- Ah- but I don’t want to be greedy” it was a soft high pitch moan but he understands it. He nods his head as he continues to swirl his tongue on your nipples and pinch it whenever.
“Now say it again, but say my name. ‘My genie Jaehyunnie…'Go on” he continues, but this time you feel him caress your thighs, slowly spreading them for his liking. You took a peek at the beautiful man kissing your boobs, he’s now naked on top of you. Lips on your nipples, sucking, and licking, he winked when he caught you looking at him and it made your heart flutter. Why is he so handsome?
“My genie Jaehyunnie-“
“Yes?” he answers innocently, putting two fingers in your cunt while he still devours your nipples.
“I wish for money” you moan out.
“Granted. You asked so nicely” you let out a sigh when he left your swollen nipples. Thinking about how rich he made you, but the fingers inside you easily snatched away your thoughts. To be honest, you just want to enjoy this moment first then make a wish, it’s not every day you get a genie to fuck you.
“Oh. Jaehyun-“ it was a moan a little too louder than the previous ones. The genie knows how to use his tongue you’re surprised, it made you moan out his name over and over again. Making your legs weak as you try to push him away from your throbbing clit. Thankfully he stopped, chuckling handsomely, caressing your legs and kissing your inner thighs.
“Getting confident now, are we? I’m just Jaehyun to you now? Am I not your genie anymore? Don’t get me wrong, I love the sound of my name coming from those lips” he looked at your lips with full-blown lust, licking your lower lip until you feel his tongue inside your mouth. Distracting you with the way he kisses you again, he lines his cock and slowly pushed inside you. For a minute you stopped returning the kisses, and feel his girth stretch you out and moan his name again, feeding his wants.
“My genie Jaehyunnie,” You’re ready to moan your second wish, the genie above you smiles as he waits for your wish. Completely amused with how you keep yourself together despite him thrusting slow and deep. “Peaceful life” it’s all you can say but again he understands it.
“Done. Were down to your last wish, after that you’ll never see me again. Thank you for this” he spreads kisses on your neck, his hands roam around your body, grip your boobs and intertwine his hands with yours. Hoping that you won’t make your last wish just yet, he wants more time with you but he can’t ask for that because you’re his master. All he can do is, savor this moment that you graced him.
“My genie Jaehyunnie” you feel his thrust quicken like he’s stopping you from talking. “I- ah, oh fuck, I want you forever by my side- please slow down, ah Jaehyun!”
Both breathing heavily and catching breaths, the genie is so happy that he forgot to pull out and came inside you. With slight panic and a mix of happiness, he doesn’t know what to do, honestly. You laugh at him, admiring how cute he is, you wanted to scare him further but you rather not, “I’m on the pill don’t worry” you caressed his face, pushing his hair away from his sweaty face and watch him cry tears of joy. Years of being a slaved in that lamp, years of granting wishes for greedy people, then you came and grant his only wish; to have sex, only to be given freedom unexpectedly.
“I’m still yours even if I’m not your genie anymore” he smiled oh so sweetly to you, telling how grateful he is for giving him his freedom. Kissing you again and again and putting you in the mood for round two.
Themes: OLDER JAEHYUN, YOUNGER READER, please I’m begging you don’t read my works if you’re not comfortable.
Word count: 5k
Summary: Jaehyun was your father’s best friend and life has it’s own twist of reuniting you again.
Warnings: OLDER JAEHYUN, YOUNGER READER, BOTH LEGAL AGE, sex, sex, sex, over stimulation, choking, slapping, dom Jaehyun, mentions of other idols, pairing of other idols, swearing, unprotected sex, rough sex, filthy sex, sad ending, Jaehyun is Johnny’s best friend, Johnny is your dad do the math. Mentions of alcohol, mentions of pregnancy, sad ending
A/N: I did this in one sitting. This is only a made up story and theres no way in hell that this is true. If something about the warning doesn’t sit well on you please don’t read. I would like to thank the anon who pointed out the sensitive topic. I already deleted some parts and edited the fic. Again thank you, and I will be better next time. For the first 200+ readers, I’m sorry if the fic was carrying something sensitive and I was clueless about it but after consulting with some of my fellow writers, I think the edited version of this fic is now safer. Thank you! And if the concept is still sensitive you can message me again I’ll be happy to delete it.
Have you ever seen someone so dreamy and handsome that he sparkles every time he’s around? Or whenever he’s around he just lights up the whole room with his smile. He’s like an angel or a saint that walks among us. Mr. Jaehyun or Mr. Jae, as you call him, is the epitome of that description.
“Jae”, you whispered, gaining his attention, “We will still be best friends after this, right?”
He pulls you closer to him, making your face rest on his naked chest. He smelled like sweat and that intense body spray, like those days he came back from his basketball practice to meet you under the treehouse. He smelled like home.
pairing: childhood friend/ceo! jaehyun x fem! reader
genre: smut, angst
word count: 7k
warnings: loss of virginity, then not so virgin sex lol, squirting
summary: “Jaehyun had been your best friend ever since you were 7 years old, but after a certain incident he disappears, without informing you of his whereabouts. You had come to terms with the fact that you’ll never see him again until your paths cross unexpectedly, meeting as boss and employee”
a/n: I feel like ceo! jaehyun fics are overwritten so I tried to focus more on the childhood friends to lovers aspect, giving it a little twist
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There was no way that was him.
When you were 10 years old you couldn’t wait to have your first kiss. You were plain obsessed with the romance dramas that were playing on tv, your mom complaining about having to witness the same unrealistic tropes over and over again, but you stayed frozen in front of the screen.
Why were the characters so caught up in the thought of seeing each other? Why were they willing to risk everything they had for the other person? You were curious to find out about the love the grown ups talked about, and playing mommy and daddy with the neighbor’s son, Jaehyun, wasn’t cutting it anymore.
He was waiting for you in his treehouse, preparing his toys for your playdate. A table of pots and cutlery on one side of the room and a battlefield with ships on the other. He preferred when you two dueled for the “fate of your country”, but he knew you liked to play house so he compromised. One hour of what you like and one hour of what he liked, that’s what his mom had said.
You stomped inside, your pout not matching his excited smile.
“Finally, you’re here! Can we play my games first? My uncle got me new soldiers, look!” He ran up to you, a bunch of different green miniatures in his hands. You didn’t bother to spare him a glance, too caught up in your personal drama.
“I don’t want to play games,” you whined, “I want a boyfriend!”
Jaehyun blinked a couple times, confused. “But you have one, me. I am your friend and I am a boy”
You threw your head back in frustration, groaning so loudly that the rest of the neighborhood probably heard you. “Noo it’s not the same! We don’t kiss on the lips and stuff!”
The little boy came closer to you, scowling. He was starting to get really impatient with your whining over these dramas that you liked so much. So what if you don’t kiss and stuff? It’s no big deal anyways!
He grabbed your ears, bringing you closer to his face and he gave you a small peck. Your first kiss.
“There. Will you play with me now?”
When you turned 17 you exchanged your love for dramas with a love for art. You also exchanged your calculus workbooks for oil paints and acrylics, busy with piecing together a portfolio that would get you accepted into art school. There was one thing that stayed stable in your life, however, that followed you from childhood into adolescence.
“Hey, sorry for being late, basketball practice took longer than I expected”, Jaehyun apologized and joined you at his backyard. The treehouse had gotten too old for inhabiting but the trunk you were currently lied against served its purpose as your current hangout after school.
“Hey”, you sniffled and he finally noticed how watery your eyes were. He dropped his sportsbag immediately, and sat next to you on the slightly moist grass, your arms touching.
“I’m guessing Mark denied your offer to go to the prom with you?”
You nodded, hiding your face in his embrace before he sees you crying. Being Jaehyun’s friend wasn’t always easy. His easygoing personality and good looks on top of being president of four school clubs made him one of the most popular kids in high school. You reminded yourself that he’s still the same boy you’ve always known, that you don’t have to feel threatened by the army of girls always clinging by his sides, but it was hard. It was hard to recount your rejection from this morning when he probably has never truly felt that feeling before. Even with his college applications pending, you knew he’d be successful. Any institution would be crazy to miss up on him, and the rest of the world felt that way about him too.
“I don’t wanna talk about it”, you mumble, leaning back before you stain his t-shirt even more, “Did Mina find the dress she is gonna wear after all?”
Your genuine worry for his prom date, even after your failed promposal, broke his heart. You were always so empathetic, so selfless, so nice to him. He didn’t have it in him to let you stay in your state of misery.
“Nothing”, he blurted, rushing to explain after seeing the confused look on your face, “she bailed on me last minute”.
That was a lie, but you didn’t have to know that. Jaehyun cancelling on his date would be a dick move, he knew that, but you being happy was his priority. It always has, at least as long as he was still here. “So if you didn’t mind, I was thinking we go together? As friends of course”
“Jae! I love you!”
You tackled him with a hug, the grass tickling his neck and he just laughed at the adorable screech you let out. You both stayed there enjoying the chill evening, talking about renting cars and matching outfits.
He let you rant about the dress you’ve chosen to wear and he promised to convince his parents to leave his house empty for the after party.
The prom night was the last time you saw Jung Jaehyun. There you two were, sprawled out on his bed and tired off your asses, spending what seemed like the most fun night of your life together. Your feet were in blisters from all the dancing, head spinning from the after-party vodka. Jaehyun had turned his head towards you, tie undone and staring at a piece of glitter that had fallen on your collarbone. He looked as handsome as ever in his suit, red eyes glued on you and a satisfied smile on his face.
“Your parents are gonna be so mad when they see the mess on their carpet. I told you not to get Jungwoo drunk”
Jaehyun laughed, his deep laugh reverbrating through the room. “Not if you tell them in the morning. They can’t get mad at you. You told your mom you’re staying over, right?”
You nodded, maybe shaking your head a lot longer than needed but your tipsy self wanted to make sure you got your message across.
“You know”, you started with a snicker, “she gave me like a million condoms for tonight. Probably thought I was planning on losing my virginity like any teenager with a social life”
He kept staring at you, eyes lazily taking in the sight of your pretty smile. “Yeah, same with my dad. I think that’s the only reason why they gave me the house”
You whipped your head to face him at the speed of light, mouth gaped open and staring at him incredulously. “Jae, you’re a virgin??”
It was hard to believe. I mean sure, you hadn’t had any experience in the sex department either but you were, well, you. Shy with new people, horrible at flirting and a bit standoff-ish if you were being honest. But your best friend, as likable and good looking as he was, had never been with a girl before?
“Well, yeah, I was just kinda- I was waiting for the right person, you know? Someone to make it memorable”
You sighed, relating with his words but also…
“I just wish I could get it over with”, you confess and you saw Jaehyun gulp visibly. He was glancing at the nothingness on his ceiling, lost in his thoughts.
“Yeah”
The silence lasted for a few minutes, only the distant sound of a passing police car interrupting it. He sat on his knees, the conversation sobering him up significantly. “Remember when you wanted to have your first kiss and I just did it so you wouldn’t complain about it anymore?”
You smile fondly at the memory, waiting for him to continue. There was somewhere he was getting at.
“Well, we both want to not be virgins anymore, right? So let’s just do it”
You felt an electric tension growing between you. It was like you were holding two magnets, begging to touch each other but you still held them apart, because if you let go you just knew things would never be the same again.
Jaehyun leaned in, dunking his head at the last minute and kissing your neck instead. It was tentative, a kiss that tested the waters. He was still holding back, wanting to make sure you wanted this as much as he wanted it too. You scooted closer to him, placing your legs to frame his closed knees, putting his face gently in your hands.
His pupils were dilated, shifting to a million places but your voice managed to make him concentrate to your eyes solely. You could hear his heartbeat bumping in his chest.
“Jae, I love you. You have to trust me, ok?”
“Okay” he nodded, eyes wide open and sincere, “I love you too, so much”
You kiss him finally, and the room around you spun even more. The feeling was strangely comfortable, yet your lungs were struggling to do their job. In that moment, it felt like everything in the world was the way it was supposed to be, and you two were a part of that bigger, perfectly orchestrated picture.
He grabbed you by your waist, bringing you over his lap. His fingers danced from your thighs to the zipper of your dress, the cool midnight air spreading goosebumps on your back. You help him out by pulling your straps down, staying in your strapless bra.
“If I knew what was gonna happen tonight I would wear cuter underwear”, you mutter and Jaehyun chuckles. Why did your heart skip a beat at the sound? It’d be a lie to say you hadn’t found yourself staring at your best friend a minute too long in the past, but tonight- Tonight the effect he had on you held an intensity that you’ve never felt before.
“Underwear can only help you out so much. They can’t do wonders”
“Wow Jae, way to make me drier that the Sahara desert”
He dipped back down to your throat, sucking at the soft skin over your collarbones and earning an embarassingly high-pitched moan from you. You felt him smile against your neck as he licked over the nibbled flesh in little circles, wishing he would repeat that motion on another part of your body.
“We’ll see about that”
As if he wanted to prove his point, he grinds you over his erection, lighting your insides on fire. Your dress was short, meaning that you could feel all of him-and it seemed like a whole lot- over your panties that were damping up.
“Show me your tits and I’ll show you mine”
Jaehyun laughed at your comment; ridiculous yet successful at calming his ragged breath down. The buttons of his dress shirt opened one by one, each of them revealing another inch of his smooth chest. His skin was glowing, and his abs proved that puberty was starting to work its wonders on him.
You trace your fingers over two moles on his chest, leaving soft kisses over them. You could feel his pulse on your lips, fast and pumping blood all over his body. Despite his attempts at staying collected over the loss of his virginity, you realized that he was probably as nervous and scared as you are.
“Your turn”, he whispered, bringing you back into the moment. You reach back to unclasp your bra, freeing your boobs, and a smile cracked on your lips at Jaehyun’s reaction.
He stayed frozen and gawking at your chest, hands twitching and not knowing what to do with the sight you so generously offered him. Bringing his hands into your own, you place them over your mounds, guiding him into squeezing them. He continues on his own, pinching your nipples as he leans forward for another kiss, probably to hide his evident blush from you.
The making out continued, leaving you both with only your underpants on. He places you on your back, and starts petting your clit over your panties, the motion so soft it drove you insane. Hungry for more.
You started whining, grinding forwards against his fingers and he chuckled, pulling the fabric away to leave you uncovered. The chilly air was quickly exchanged with the feeling of his warm digits, causing a different kind of shivering.
When he inserted the first finger in you, you felt like your whole body was burning up with a high fever. You’d done this again, with your ex-boyfriend in summer camp but it definitely didn’t feel as sinful and delicious and pleasureable as this. It pulled at a knot in your stomach, begging to be untangled and Jaehyun was taking his sweet time with you. Quick circles on your swollen bud and a nibble on your neck, that’s what it took for him to enjoy you shaking through an orgasm.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful”
You looked angelic with the sweat trickling down your chest, skin glowing in the limelight and Jaehyun would just sit and stare if it wasn’t for the tent in his boxers that was screaming for attention. Pulling at the soft fabric, you sprung him free and the boldness that came when you did started to evaporate. It hit you in that moment, that he had seen all of you and now you saw all of him- yes you had been best friends for years but this intimacy was unprecedented. And you liked the feeling.
You put him in your grasp, moving your fist in a pivoting motion with his precum as your lubricant. He throws his head back with a grunt that almost made you cum a second time and urged you to pick up the pace. Unsure of what to do next, you licked your other palm and started to massage his balls hoping he liked it. He did by the sound of his moans, but stopped you abruptly, scaring you that you accidentally did something wrong in your inexperience.
“If you continue like this I’m gonna cum. Let’s do this“
You swallow on nothing and reach to your jacket on the floor for the condoms your mum gave you.
“Want a pink one? A green maybe? Blue?”, you joke and he pets your hair lovingly, looking down at you.
“Blue. Your favourite colour”
You smiled warmly at his response, satisfied with your decision to share this moment with your best friend. With someone who knew you so well.
Unwrapping the plastic, you placed the rubber over his hardness with shaking hands, following the instructions as best as you could. Jaehyun leaned down over you, planting a dozen kisses over your face as he positioned himself over your entrance.
“Ready?”
You nodded, giving him permission to dip his tip in, the first inches stretching you out nicely. The wetness caused by your orgasm helped your situation a lot, the slickness allowing him to dive a little deeper. Then, the stinging started, making you hiss and he kissed you immediately, trying to soothe you.
“I know, baby, I know. I’m sorry. We have to go through the hard part now ok?”
The nickname playing over and over again in your head gave you the patience needed to endure him bottoming out, along with the first thrusts. It was uncomfortable, but the feeling of him inside you, of the two of you coming together as one, released some chemical in your brain that made most of the pain go away. He took his fingers from your hips to gently pat away the teardrops staining your cheeks.
“That’s it baby, you’re doing so well”
His words and the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls drew a moan out of your half open mouth, the sound carrying on the air you two shared and landing on Jaehyun’s lips. There was a tension on your belly and something told you it wasn’t just physical, more like an emotional revelation, a fire already ignited but flared up by this incident. Your feelings towards your childhood friend, a love that was more than platonic.
For you, at least.
Jaehyun was young and you felt so tight around him that he didn’t take long to finish. He pulled out last minute, taking the condom out and spilling spurts of his cum all over your stomach. It earned a scowl and an eyebrow raise from you but the way he apologized, saying you “looked too beautiful to resist”, was too cute to stay mad at.
You laid back on his bed, holding hands and trying to register what just happened. The ocassional car drove by, the lights illuminating Jaehyun’s eyes that you noted were glossy. Maybe it was just as intense for him, you thought and squeezed his hands a little tighter.
“Jae”, you whispered, gaining his attention, “We will still be best friends after this, right?”
He pulls you closer to him, making your face rest on his naked chest. He smelled like sweat and that intense body spray, like those days he came back from his basketball practice to meet you under the treehouse. He smelled like home.
“Forever”
Forever must have a different meaning in the Jungs’s dictionary, because after that night, Jaehyun was unreachable. You tried to text him, call him, only to be ignored and faced with stupid excuses.
You thought long and hard about why your best friend suddenly decided to ghost you. Maybe he didn’t like the sex. Understandable, since it was your first time, but it’s not like you promised him a night of mind blowing love making or anything. You decided that he probably felt too awkward to talk to you after that night and you told yourself to give him some space.
Three days passed, then another, then a week and still no sign of Jaehyun. Tired of the radio silence and irritated by his attitude, you got ready to visit him at his house, confront him one-on-one.
No, you didn’t wear your favourite perfume for him. It just so happened that you chose to put on that dress he had complimented you on before. You didn’t hope for him to call you beautiful again, or have a retake of the prom night fun. The butterflies in your stomach were probably the heavy lunch you ate. Yes, it was all coincidental.
You walked down the stairs with a pep in your step, storming through your parents in the kitchen.
“And were are you going so happy, young lady?”, your dad chirps and you smile at him.
“I’m gonna go see Jaehyun real quick!”
“Real quick? To a different country? He came back already?”
You stilled at the sound of your mother’s words, confused.
“A different country? I’m going down the street to the Jungs, mom”
“Honey, the Jungs are there but not Jaehyun. He moved abroad to study Business. Didn’t he tell you?”
The ground beneath your feet seemed to melt and pull you under the third level of hell. How could he get accepted to a university and not tell you? How could he move countries and not even say goodbye? How dare he make you fall in love with him, give you the best night of your life and then leave you hanging like that?
You ran upstairs to your room, wailing in what seemed like a mixture of rage and sadness. You felt so dumb, in your sundress and shaved pussy and cute underwear you chose out for him. It was all so, so unfair and the feeling ate you alive. The feeling that you hated Jung Jaehyun.
So now, when he stands from across the room, all suited up but with the additional rank of CEO on his shoulders you couldn’t believe that it was him.
Your portfolio did get you into an art school after all, majoring in product design. Your innovative work of rebranding the latest releases, taking on the aesthetic part of the marketing, landed you a great deal in J industries. The product was good and your skills were better, so when the sales went off the roof you weren’t surprised. What you didn’t expect however, was that the boss of your boss, who was currently staring at you from across the launch party, was your childhood best friend.
Ex-best friend.
“Damn, y/n, Mr. Jung hasn’t taken his eyes off of you all night, huh?”, said Sook, the assistant marketing director who was working by your side on the project.
“Well, he should have come over and congratulate me by now. I did help save his company”
She laughed lightly, unaware for how deeply rooted your dislike for the man really was. You continue your conversation when you suddenly see her turn visibly tense, sweeping her hands on the front of her dress. Oh, you should have watched what you wished for.
“M-Mr. Jung, how are you enjoying this party? This is y/n, she did most of the designs for the campaign-”
Eyes widening in shock, you get lost in some passerbys, meddling with the other coworkers in the gathering. Sook left a little yelp when she realized you had dissolved into thin air in seconds. You could still faintly hear her apologizing merrily.
“Oh I swear she was sitting right next to me Mr. Jung”
Chatting up with friends and even strangers, you made sure you never stayed in the same place for too long. Jaehyun’s eyes were still boring holes into your face no matter where you went, a smirk plastered on his own every time he caught you checking out for him.
In a last attemp to turn invisible, you find cover on a small couch, slightly hidden by some ballon decorations and you shoved a book to your face, faking interest. But alas, a dip in the furniture next to you and the familiar woody smell soon rang a bell of danger in your head.
“You know your book is upside down, right?”
Wincing at your fatal mistake, you turn around to be faced with a pair of brown eyes you thought you’d never see again. You noticed how they’re glowing in pride and ambition and remembered how they shined that night from tears, how you tried to read through him, just like now.
“Jung. Got bored of your little staring game?”
Jaehyun had grown an inch or two since you last saw him, you notice, standing even taller in his exemplary posture. He still stuck with his long hairstyle, locks styled back sleekly and exposing his defined cheekbones. His skin was even paler than usual, glowing in the dark room. Being a CEO probably meant staying inside a lot, making tanning for his complexion almost impossible.
“Considering you applied to my company, y/n, I figured you’d come to me now as well”
Why was he using that voice around you? You‘d made fun of him numerous times in the past for that deep tone, only coming up when he was trying to woo some girl.
“I didn’t know it was your dumb company”, you start, rolling your eyes in annoyance, “I’m surprised you even remember my name”
“How could I forget the girl I went to prom with?” And took my virginity, you wanted to add but knew he censored his words on purpose. “Also, Sook mentioned your name like, five minutes ago”
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about”
His silence was uncomfortable, thickening the atmosphere even more. You saw regret and guilt in his features, lips struggling to find the right words and hands fumbling with his tie.
“I know you’re mad, rightfully so. But please, come over to my place for a drink. For old time’s sake”. The deep voice was persistent and that’s when you realized that Jaehyun wasn’t a teenager anymore. So many years had passed since that summer, enough to mature you both physically and emotionally, yet the wound stung still so freshly.
“You can’t just choose when to re-enter my life so easily”, you huffed and started to walk away from him, when you felt his fingers wrapping gently around your wrist.
“y/n, please. I’ve missed you. One drink, that’s it”
It was so annoying, you thought as you entered his condo, how his dimples were still so effective at convincing you. It was quite luxurious, definitely bigger than your apartment and by the looks of the fancy furniture, his hard work as CEO surely paid off.
“You like it?”
“Not as much as your treehouse but it’s okay”, you reply him and he grins at the reminiscence of your old shenanigans as children.
“I’ll bring the wine”
You snooped around a bit more, examining the decorations of his living room. It was quite minimalistic, an abstract painting or two, a weird sculpture, no family pictures in sight. You always hated places like that, so lifeless, so impersonal. Jaehyun had too rich of a personality for that.
He sat on his leather couch, placing two glasses of white wine in front of him and motioning you to sit down as well. You took a seat as far away from his as possible and he winced at the distance you kept, now also turning physical.
Jaehyun started a conversation by asking you about your work at the company, then moving on to your personal life. You politely answered him, even joked about how single you are. He started recounting the start of his company, how he got the idea to begin from scratch and the hardships that came with it. As it was expected from the bachelor’s vibes his place emitted, CEO position didn’t allow for enough free time for him to meet someone new, let alone something serious. Your little meet up seemed to be going well. Too well to be exact. One glass down and you finally had enough of feigning ‘happy old friends catching up’.
“Why did you bring me here Jaehyun? Really bring me here”
The man sighed at your tone, running his fingers through his hair and messing their gelled-up styling. Getting up from his position, he finishes up his second glass and sits closer to you, body facing yours.
“I guess… I owe you an apology. For back then. I should have told you I’m moving abroad”
“Yes, Jaehyun, you should have. Especially after what we did before you left”
He closed his eyes in shame, glossy after he reopened them. A serious expression darkened his features, looking as solemn as that last night you saw him before his disappearance and hanging from your lips. “Do you regret it? Going through with it?”
“No”, you answer immediately, because it was the truth. All the guys you’ve slept with in your time as an adult, though more experienced than high-school Jaehyun, were missing that one factor that none other than your best friend could offer you. Connection, vulnerability, care. True love.
He sighs, once again, clearly relieved by your answer but still speaking in a bittersweet tone.
“Good, I would really hate myself if you did. I was just, so scared you’d forget about me. I had to know you’d remember me. Then you said this whole thing about wanting to have our first time and-“. You knew it was the wine in his system that caused his rambling. Jaehyun wasn’t one to stumble on his words, definitely not sentimental like that. But alcohol seemed to bring you closer when in need and at the right time so you let it, once again, and you let him finish. “-and you looked so beautiful that I couldn’t help myself. If I knew you’d grow up to look like this I would have never-“
He stopped himself mid sentence, regretting sharing more. You, however, weren’t done with this conversation yet. There were so many years spent repenting your friendship, so many questions running through your head, and you weren’t leaving this room until they got answered.
“If you didn’t want me to forget you that much then why not tell me you got accepted to a university abroad? I was your best friend!”. Your words were emotionally charged, unwillingly making your voice turn up in volume. It was as if you turned back into the little girl crying in her bedroom, finally getting the chance to say all those things she was screaming in her pillow. “I would be so happy for you, I loved you”
“Yes you did! You literally said that every single day!”, Jaehyun yelled back, startling you, “And every single time it was as if you jabbed a knife in my chest! Did you know how much it killed me? To hear this from my best friend I’d been in love with for the past 10 years?”
“You- you were in love with me?”, you ask dumbly, voice light in disbelief, a stark difference from Jaehyun’s a second ago.
He settled his breathing, hands fixing his hair once again in abashment.
“I knew that if I told you I had to go abroad you would get all sad and start crying and I wouldn’t be able to see you like that. I knew that the moment you’d tell me you miss me I would drop everything to be with you. That night that we had sex.. I didn’t plan it but I thought it would be better for you if I made you hate me. And when I saw you again today- it felt like not one day had passed since high school. I didn’t know how to approach you, what to say. I’m sorry”
You sat there in shock, connecting the dots in your brain. All the feelings you were trying to repress around him, the lingering glances and butterflies in your stomach, were reqruited all along. You knew exactly what he meant earlier, about time seeming to freeze. The way he looked at you now, all teary eyed and red and shaking was utterly and overwhelmingly the warm Jaehyun that met you every night after school. And you wouldn’t let another day go to waste.
You lean forward, capturing his lips into a kiss long overdue. It was tentative and you started pulling back when he places both hands on the sides of your neck, keeping you from letting go. His fingertips grasp part of your hair and you lean your face sideways, melting into the kiss and his touch. A lick on his bottom lip and now your tongues were touching, groaning at how much better he got at this and wanting to put his skill to better use. Tugging on his soft locks, he moans and his baritone voice made the hairs on your arms stand on edge.
You moved your hands on his chest, palming the defined muscles and deciding you wanted to treat your eyes, ripping his shirt open in one move. Jaehyun grabs the meat of your thighs, hands gripping the edge of your dress and pulling it upwards until it falls over your head. He dipped into your neck immediately, sucking and nibbling passionately right in the middle, your moans sounding breathless with the pressure he puts on your throat. Trailing down, he left a path of open mouthed kisses, now focusing on the mounds of your breasts that your bra wasn’t covering. A flick of his wrist and the piece of underwear was gone, lips surrounding your nipple, releasing it with a loud pop.
You moan out his name and his growl’s animalistic, nails digging on the softness of your hips.
“Fuck I love that sound”
He probably made it a goal to hear it again as he started kissing on your inner thighs, the bruises he left behind teasing you to the point of begging. You lift you hips to discard the skimpy underwear you chose for tonight, Jaehyun’s breath fanning your clit. A few kitten licks and your back is already lifting from the leather, his hands intertwining with yours to keep you in place.
Practice makes perfect and Jaehyun must have had a lot of it, the interchanging of sucking, licking and spitting on your pussy making you lose your mind in the most delicious way. You were in the midst of murmuring a mix of praises when he finally finds that spot that has you trembling under his tongue. Riding out your high, you grind against his face, the pleasure not leaving any room for shame. Chest heaving and vision restored, you glance down at Jaehyun, looking as irresistible as ever wiping his wet lips and chin.
You were fully prepared and willing to return the favor so you motioned him to stand up, positioning the back of your neck over the hand rest of the couch. After opening your mouth wide he got the point, quickly ridding himself off his pants and boxer briefs, spitting profanities at how hot you looked for him right now.
You were upside down, but you could very well see Jaehyun’s hard and angry cock staring back at you. You always thought that maybe, since he was your first, you might have overestimated his size in your head. But your brain apparently hadn’t manipulated that memory in the slightest because that length and grith would definitely be a challenge for you. And hell, did you want to take it on.
He pushes through your lips, and your tongue is quick to engulf him. Licking up and down his shaft as best as you could, made Jaehyun grip the couch in an effort to keep his knees from buckling from pleasure. The position allowed him to push even deeper inside you, filling up your throat. He places his fingers over the bulge on your throat, watching it itently with every move of his hips.
Your eyes teared up and your throat started to burn but the sounds Jaehyun let out with every thrust made it all worth it. He finally pulls out, a string of saliva and precum landing on your lips and he is quick to to clean you up with his fingers. Collecting the wetness, he pushes his digits inside your mouth, and something changes in his glare, eyes darkening in the most lustful expression.
“I need you inside me”, you mumble with his fingers inside of you and he nods, asking if he should go get a condom. You search through the contains of your handbag, hands trembling with the way he is pushed up agaist you, erection digging in the softness of your ass as he’s nibling the skin on your shoulders.
You handed him the square foil and as soon as he takes it in his grasp, he pushed you down to the arm rest, back against the cushion and legs in the air. Moving your hand between your legs, you distracted him by playing with your pussy, speading the juices around and pushing your folds apart to direct him to your opening.
The first thrust felt divine, thick cock filling you nicely and making your head fall back in pleasure. Jaehyun threw your legs over his shoulders, eyes glued to yours as he kissed your calves, picking up his pace. The moans started rolling off your tongue, echoing inside the big lounge and accompanied by the skin slapping sound of your bodies.
“I missed your body so much”, he muttered as he gripped your waist, setting an incredible pace that had your feet flexing. You turned your head to the side, catching your reflection on the huge window leading to the balcony. Tits bouncing, Jaehyun’s flexed arms, his dick digging inside you. What a sight.
“See something you like?”, he chuckled darkly and you smiled up at him, grazing your nails over his biceps.
“Show me something to remember you by”
Jae halted his thrusts, turning you over to your stomach swiftly, ass in the air. He kneaded his hands over your ass, giving it a little spank and spread your cheeks apart. Placing his right knee on the arm rest, he dives inside you again, and the moan you let out barely sounded like you. His cock was so deep inside you that you had to close your eyes to relish the feeling of fullness, amplified by the light pain of the stretch. Jaehyun collected your hair in his fist, pulling your upper body against his chest as he wrapped an arm around your own.
“Open your eyes. See how nicely you take my cock. Think you’ll forget that?”, he growls in your ear, thumb digging in your cheek and palm slightly muting your sounds. The dirty talk, his cock grazing against the spot that drove you crazy and Jaehyun’s godly reflection pounding the shit out of you brought you over the edge again. He didn’t let you take any time off, hips continuing to bruise against you as feverly as before, and you thought you just might combust.
“Jaehyun, p-please, it’s too much”, you plead with as much power is left in your system, and he pulls out, only to start rubbing quick circles over your clit that had you thrashing in his arms.
You melt into his arms, a pressing feeling in your belly that you had never felt before and soon you climax for the third time, droplets of cum squirting out of your pussy and dripping onto the wooden flooring.
“This is so fucking hot”, Jaehyun mutters and starts thrusting inside you, trying to coax as much cum out of you as possible.
The waves keep coming, gushing out of you every time he pulls out, until he can’t take the sight anymore, coming with a shiver and a ragged breath.
You were sweaty and exhausted, smiling faintly as he showered you with kisses.
“Let’s get you cleaned up”
You try to stand up futilely, knees wobbling and unable to keep your balance. Jaehyun chuckles at the sight but helps you up like the gentleman he is, moving you to the floor’s bathroom.
You hop in and he joins you, letting the water run down your body and helping you soap up. It was very intimate but comfortable at the same time, his gentle caresses belonging to your skin. Everything felt right.
He was occupied with running his fingers over two hickeys he had planted on you earlier when you snap him out of his thoughts, voice barely audible over the running water.
“I’m sorry you felt like you had to lie to me to go study abroad. I think it’s pretty obvious after what we just did that I liked you too, but… I still would have let you move. Force you even.”
“You’re right. I’m sor-“
“I mean it Jaehyun. I’m so proud of you”
His eyes glimmered at your praise, wet eyelashes framing them and fluttering closed as he leaned down, pressing the sweetest kiss on your lips. It left you breathless, almost hurting when he pulled back. You could kiss him forever.
“I know you said I can’t just come back to your life like that but I want to try. I’ve seriously missed you”
“How about taking me to a date tomorrow night? To catch up some more”
He grinned brightly, eyes turning into crescent moons and dimples making your heart burst.
“Wherever you want”, he promised and took a step closer to you, hand snaking down your ass and pulling you against his wet body, “And speaking of making up for lost time… How about a round two?”
While reading this fic I think it is very well written in the most simplest form but it still has the oomph factor. Simple in a good way btw.
The flow of the story is very well connected and developed from childhood to adulthood. I also love the idea of the author to focus on having a cute childhood friendship first, before jumping to the ceo x reader theme. I also think that you established the friendship in the story between Jaehyun and the reader very well without giving us too much scenarios to think about how good their friendship is.
My favorite part/s:
1 Their first kiss! Little Jaehyun is so cute and romantic already even though he doesn’t know what he’s doing yet haha.
2 Cancelled prom date scene was brutal but cute.
3 From the condom talk to the loss of virginity talk was funny idk whats wrong with me but it made me laugh so hard.
4 “Well, we both want to not be virgins anymore, right? So let’s just do it” “Jae, I love you. You have to trust me, ok?” “Okay” he nodded, eyes wide open and sincere, “I love you too, so much” definitely screamed at this part.
5 And of course my favorite part of all time, when Jaehyun finally pushed in and their first time having sex in generally. So well written I can almost feel Jaehyun while I was reading. ITS THAT GOOD FOLKS.
6 “Jaehyun was young and you felt so tight around him that he didn’t take long to finish. He pulled out last minute, taking the condom out and spilling spurts of his cum all over your stomach. It earned a scowl and an eyebrow raise from you but the way he apologized, saying you “looked too beautiful to resist”, was too cute to stay mad at.” I love how they’re such vigins! I mean not anymore, but this is such a first timer move. (At least thats what I know) AND SEE HOW WELL WRITTEN THAT WAS? ^^^
7 I was reading this in bed laying comfortably and when I read that Jaehyun left, I sat up and focused more. That fucker just had to leave and not say anything, I MEAN THE NERVE?
8 Them meeting again was simple and not complicated and I love it. Not much drama but you know the tension of meeting again is there.
9 The second smut scene was h o t. They’re definitely adults I’m tearing up huhu. You will notice it by comparing their first time to their second time. I personally love the deep throat part.
I love writing for Jaehyun so much that sometimes I have to stop myself from thinking of him. And he’s not even my bias! The only update I did in this masterlist is I deleted some of my old works.
MAIN MASTERLIST
FAQ / WIPS / CALENDAR
ABOUT B
To this blog’s audience, please do not steal my works save yourself from the shame. Do not translate my works, they’re not worthy. Also if you see someone who stole my work, kindly reach out to me.
Sugar Series - You’re just trying to enjoy your short break before going back to school, you met Jaehyun at a bar in the most creative way. Things got interesting after agreeing to hook up with him.
Just got married - Everyone in your life is against marrying Jaehyun. The word ‘CHEATER’ still flashes whenever they see Jaehyun. Will the wedding still happen?
Because, I love you - You’re back and you’re completely a different person. From being rich and spoiled, now you see yourself as someone cheap. Even so, Jaehyun chase you as he tries to win you back even though you’ve been pushing him away over and over again.
Patients Patience - Who would have thought having a heart disease can make you score someone great like Jaehyun.
How old is too old? - Jaehyun was your father’s best friend and life has it’s own twist of reuniting you again.
Jaehyun’s Body - Jaehyun is a demon who uses girls to make him stay handsome. He eats girls… literally. Then he met you and he can’t eat you because he’s in love with you.
And he never heard from her again - As you lay at the hospital bed unconscious, Jaehyun blames himself because of the accident and regrets the time when he took you for granted.
Sweet - Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.
Smut and whatnot. My favorite Jeong Jaehyun fics. @prettypeachyplease - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag