L.D.F.- Long Distance Friendship
This is actually my first time blogging. I really donāt know whatās this for, but I just wanted to try because Iāve been hearing about this from my friends. I decided to write one today⦠Itās about what Iām actually experiencing right now.
If youāre reading this, you might be thinking that iāll be talking about a friend whoās at a different country. Well, technically, YES. But, itās quite different.Ā
I met this guy last month, end days of December. He was the first cousin of my first cousin. I know youāre going to think that weāre incest but weāre not. We are not related at all. Things started of as usual⦠SimpleĀ āHiā andĀ āHelloā⦠Exchange of gaze and smiles. It was awkward at first but we wouldnāt be able to move on if we wouldnāt break the ice right? Two days passed by and we became closer, thanks to the game we played- SPYFALL. We were also rehearsing for a dance presentation for my cousinās debut and I was the one teaching the choreography so I had to communicate with him a lot. P.S : heās a funny but cute dancer. He never failed to catch my attention because aside from the way he danced, he was also very tall, standing 6ā²1ā³. (Iām only 5ā²2ā³ by the way LOL) Rehearsal days flew by and as young people, we never forgot to have fun. We went to the malls and played arcade games and went shopping. (We went out together with our cousins)
The thing I can remember most on ourĀ āgoing outā moments is when we sang together at the stage. It was at a karaoke but it was very open to the public. Anyone could sing: on stage or while sitting down. Anyways, him and I sang two songs:Ā āShe will be lovedā by Maroon 5 andĀ āBreaking freeā by Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens from the High School Musical OST. We sangĀ āshe will be lovedā while sitting down because I was very shy at that time, knowing that people would stare at you when youāre on stage. When our first song ended, I said that I wanted to sing more. Then he said that if I want to sing more, weāll have to sing it on stage. I contemplated a bit but I decided to give it a go. #YOLO OurĀ ābreaking freeā stage felt like the high school musical oneās. We stole gazes from each other; smiling and laughing out of embarrassment. It was indeed a very memorable experience for me.Ā
Fast forward to New Yearās Eve. I actually just added him on Facebook and Snapchat that day. Funny right? LOL Anyways, we talked for like the whole day but it was cut off because we had to go to their house. We had different topics on messenger and on snapchat which I found very funny and amusing because how in the world do we have so much to talk to about. LOLĀ
12:16 AM, January 1, 2017, he called me. He was from the states so I never thought he would have a local number. He told me he asked one of his cousinās phone to call me. During the call, he admitted his feelings for me. He said that he liked me. I didnāt believe him at first and I thought of it as a prank. But as he explained, I was able to understand that he was really telling the truth. I was speechless because I never expected something like that. To me, he was just a cousin even though weāre not really related at all. And I told him that. In short, I turned him down. I had so many things going thru my mind.. So many factors I had to consider. So yes, I told him I only liked him as a cousin. #cousin-zonedĀ
Days flew by and we were still talking to each other- more of like getting to know each other MORE. I was actually confused with my own feelings because I only felt that I have feelings for him the day after he told me he liked me. #WTF #Confused And so, we continued to beĀ āfriendsā and we always talked on messenger and snapchat THE WHOLE DAY. When he went back to the states, his hometown, he wasnāt able to adjust to the time that fast so we were still talking even though itās dawn/morning there. By the way, we had a 16 hrs. difference of time. When itās morning here, itās the afternoon there. When itās the evening here, itās dawn there. When itās the afternoon here, itās the evening there. Everything was okay until he had an accident. We didnāt have any communication for days. I was so worried and I even wished I could be there. I wanted to see him so bad but I canāt.Ā
January 19, 2017 (PH)- January 18,2017 (Van. Wash.) = THE DAY I ADMITTED MY FEELINGS TO HIM. I was so scared and shy but I gathered my courage to say it because I couldnāt hold it in anymore. And so, the feelings were mutual. We didnāt know what to do after that. Weāre just two people who like each other. I couldnāt even call it asĀ āLONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPā because we are not in a relationship. Thatās why I called itĀ āLONG DISTANCE FRIENDSHIPā- friends with feelings for each other.Ā
February 7, 2017- IT ENDED. He had his reasons. He wasnāt able to talk to me for days. He wanted space from people and that includes me. Our story might confuse you, but I canāt really just tell everything. All I can say is that, I still like him but I gotta do what I have to do. I donāt deserve to be treated like some toy whom youāll just play with when you want to. Itās actually hard to move on when you know you donāt really have something to move on about. To him, I guess itās just aĀ āflingā or aĀ āthingā. For me, I donāt know. I take everything seriously and thatās my weakness. I get attached a lot so fast so I really hate SEPANX.Ā
If youāre reading this part, that means youāre able to finish reading my long story. Thank you and I appreciate it a lot! Leave a comment or opinion or suggestion or advice that you want to give. Iāll be posting more soon so please wait! XOXO