I'm Afraid of the Cold

Your local vocal performance major attempting to stay sane

[pr1nceshawn]

[borntobroadway]

Y’ALL IM SHOOK!!!!!

[ankle-beez]

[nameless-inklings]

god has heard your prayers and he left you on read

[poodleslime4]

If i see grinch porn blow up on this evil haunted fucking hellsite every horny gremlin on here shall face my infuriated wrath

[pochowek]

He will be portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch

[snufkunt]

[capablecapybara]

the real tragedy is that sirius black died before he could find out about the embarrassing nickname snape gave himself as a teenager

[lesbianism-that-sucks]

that alone would have cured his depression, ptsd and alcoholism

[gestopft-deactivated20200103]

is this what the kids are listening to these days?

[stevedusa]

Took me a while to identify what in the world the other brass was till I realized it wasn’t.

[beelzibubbles]

Someone even transcribed it!

[abkvs]

jesus god someone transcribed this i can’t believe it

(for those of u who are new to my house: my cousin is the one playing the chair)

[elodieunderglass]

Transcript for the hearing impaired:

TOOT scoot scoot TOOT scoot scoot

[whispycayenne]

I love this so much

[probablybard]

Kids these days who think that being a bard is just about swinging swords and playing lutes disgust me. Where’s the pizzazz? The showmanship? The seduction??

[probablystrangerpgideas-blog]

you ain’t a real bard until you seduce your way out of at least 19 situations that would normally end in combat

[probablybard]

You’re not a real bard until you make your DM cry because you seduced the Big Bad that they’ve built up to for 10 sessions

[a-daks]

Once a bard friend rolled a 1 for a seduction and ended up killing a girl and tried to hide the body. He was caught, rolled low on deception and they all thought he was fucking her corpse. He then tried seducing the guards and rolled low again so all the guards had boners while arresting him and the DM had to sideline the entire game and make up a dungeon for the rest of us to get our stupid bard out of. But we didn’t. So for like 3 nights the DM essentially ran 2 different games, one of us questing without ol’ corpsefucker and then the adventures of corpsefucker: escape from boner castle.

He seduced his way out, naturally.

[simplycookingrpgideas]

A true bard

[hollowboobtheory]

[ithelpstodream]

[theotheryongbok]

My man Jesus

[funnysowhatever2-deactivated201]

What story is that?

[ffermented-salmonella-deactivat]

Matthew 18:9

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

[beachfox-deactivated20181218]

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

[dinosaurrainbowstarfish]

He goes on for like several examples too.

“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”

“Cut it off.”

“wut”

“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”

“wut”

“What”

[corporationsarepeople]

“Did I fucking stutter?”

[redandpointy]

Canon Jesus is so much better than the fanon.

[b0ggyb1tch]

Jesus was cool and good, actually. Fandoms ruin everything

[lugmilla]

[officialfist]

This is funnier than anything shitpostbot could ever dream of.

[the-pundertaker-deactivated2020]

Only 32 days until this joke expires. Reblog while you can.

[pizzahutasuka]

This joke expires in 2 days folks

[valtsv]

[dogmurderer]

[yeahworms]

alignment based on sleepwear, tag urself

[count-di-luna]

nightgown. fuck your options

[memewhore]

[distinguishedbaloney]

[b-b-e-e-s]

[sonlosgatosespaciales]

[eggcup-deactivated20180129]

graspers

[yg-ou-deactivated20180202]

whats he gonna do with those hands

[eggcup-deactivated20180129]

grasp

[crowtrobot2001-deactivated20201]