Side blog for maytheratseatureyes aka The_Red_Poe All content will be of my Scarlet Hollow OCs Lucille and Morgan (and older art of my retired OC LittleShitpost aka Wayne trapped in a horse plush) I guess this will double as an ask blog for my OCs if anyone is interested in that kind of thing
I'm going to break this up because it's a long post, so there will be a second one coming, but for now...
This isn't easy for me to talk about, but here goes nothing
Warnings for child abuse, medical trauma, general depressing stuff
I think most people who follow me have already figured out I'm disabled
Disabled in a way that's left me housebound for the majority of my adult life. Life for me pretty much stopped after I graduated high school, and with no other choice, I was forced into living with my parents because I struggle with most things due to my health issues.
This wasn't a good thing you see because my parents are (were) abusive. Physically, verbally, emotionally abusive. The physical abuse stopped some time during my early teens, but the verbal and emotional abuse never went away.
My mother was the worst out of everyone. I'd rather not repeat some of the horrible things she said and did to me while she was still alive, but it was pretty awful, and I now have PTSD (among other things) thanks to her and my dad.
My mom worked in the medical field. She was a former nurse, and I can only hope she treated her patients better than she treated her children.
I also live in a basement. It's either here or being homeless, and I can tell you with my health I would not survive that.
I won't touch on all of my issues because there are many, but one of my biggest problems is panic attacks. Medication resistant panic attacks that almost never turn off. Only one medication ever helped, which was Klonopin, but they had to keep upping the dose and upping the does until I could no longer stay on it. My attacks are so bad that it sends my heart rate dangerously high, and I've had to be tranquilized in order to get it to go down because if they didn't doctors told me I'd go into cardiac arrest.
If you know anything about panic attacks, they make you feel like you're dying and pretty much every day of my adult life I've had to live with feeling that way. If you can even call what I have a life tbh.
I also have a lot of medical trauma due to bad doctors and therapists, but I don't want to go too deep into that. Most disabled people have medical trauma, unfortunately.
I occupy my time by watching horror movies, playing horror games, listening to goth and industrial music, and of course I draw. I've always liked horror, but it became a huge comfort to me once I became housebound and completely isolated from people aside from my family.
So the short version:
Housebound, lives in basement, isolated, abusive mom who worked in the medical field, Klonopin, tranquilizers, medical trauma, uses art and horror to cope
So after all of that, you can probably guess why I ended up liking a character like Reese so much. I don't really see people like me depicted in media pretty much ever, and it made me so happy to see a character with similar struggles that I faced. It made me feel less alone. Just having that feeling of "Oh! Someone else gets it! They had to in order to write this kind of character, right?"
Well...
The second part of this is going to focus on the abelism in both the fandom and episode 5. It will probably be a few days before I can get to that. I'm sorry if this was too rambly, I'm not the best writer, and I have difficulties articulating myself these days because of brain fog and because of my ADHD.
And feel free to leave comments if you wish, but please be nice. This is both embarrassing and difficult for me to talk about.
I might use this space to make a more personal post soon. It concerns how the fandom treats Reese and why I haven't been as active in the fandom as I once was, but also the reasons why I didn't care for episode 5 very much.
It's going to touch on more of my personal experiences as a disabled person and go a bit into my situation, which will probably be uncomfortable for most, but it's something I've wanted to get off my chest for some time. I don't feel comfortable posting something like that on my main and certainly not in tags. It will be under a read more, so you don't have to worry about seeing it if you don't want to.
I just hope what I have to say will be treated with kindness and understanding from the few people who will see this.
I have so many sketches of these two 😭 I should go back to pillowfort and start posting the full versions for all 3 Scarlet Hollow fans that use that site. More sketches under the cut
First is inspired by that one STP sketch Abby drew and the full (but censored) version of the sketch above the cut
I know hot trait MCs are supposed to have an award-winning smile, but I like to think that by the end of the week Lucille is breaking down juuuust a bit and the Tabby smile starts to take over
Wiill Reese and Lucille make it out of town? Will they make each other worse?
Who knows. But at least they match each other's freak
This was never going to go past him being a plush, but a few fans fell in love with him and wanted lore, so I quickly came up with something on the spot
stormborns
blakekathryn
kianamaiart
andulkaphoto
gracieabrams