૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ @prince-bunny - Tumblr Blog

I love you

I love the ways youve grown

The ways youve stood by me

How you've dreamed

You've protected

Transformed

All

I want to be your witness for life

And I hope you'll let me

There is so much scab and yet it never falls off

My shell like flesh grows and the softness tries to reclaim

I do not care if it's pink or raw underneath it all, I just want it off

And not even I remain...

Because why would I?

Why would I be something to stand for

It is because I am always the secret

Never good enough to be a reason

Never good enough to induce a pride

Just another secret to keep

When will I be able to eat again without feeling sick

When will I remember to drink water again

When will I get out of survival this time

#I just want my life #I just wanted to be happy

I just want to be comforted so badly...

I just want my evidence to be seen

and my wound to be seen

and to be held until the ache quiets

To be coddled and cherished and spoken to softly until my strength returns

Why do I never earn love like that?

Why am I so hard to hold?

#It never feels unrealistic that I should be held when hurt is done to me #But I always end up doing the holding #Why am I comforting someone for hurting me #I just want to be loved back

paper-wounds

pmamtraveller

"Rabbit and Crocodiles" by Nishino Yoichi

I hate that I can't totally escape it and get so scared about getting better, but I don't even like the way I look because of it anymore

There are parts I like, and I will miss in familiarity. But I hate the way that there's no more fat in my face, there no more life in it, and my brain fog is so terrible I can hardly talk to my friends without a script.

I love you

I want you to know that I love you

You are beautiful

You are lovely

You are helpful

You are my love, and I hope I can be good enough to help you see yourself as I do...

And I wonder when I got so silent

But then it's never the right moment to stay say anything

I just sit here and wonder why

#And I often think about when there will be a friend untainted #And I often wonder if that is even real #And I know what the answer is yet I give it the chance to be different

omnia-mors-aequat-nstrwa

“Memento mori” burial robes (17th-19th centuries)

terrorignitis

Julia Kristeva, Powers of Horror: An Essay on Abjection

And my thoughts become no longer helpful

And my thoughts become no longer safe

#And what to do #What to do #What do I do #What do I not do

I want to stop feeling like my house is on fire, then finding the thing that burns in the corner

I want to stop feeling scared enough to check

And yet, I can't

Because, even if just once every now and again,

I was right

#I just want to stop seeing how far it went #How long it went #How often #How many #Because no longer does it reflect on my worth to me #But my worth to you #And it often makes me wonder what made you think I deserved that #Why you felt comfortable leaving me with trauma that would eat me up inside for the rest of my life #And I know it's because it wasn't about me #But it also is about me #Because why lie to me everyday if it wasn't about me #I just want to stop being right #I want to be wrong now #I want to be proved wrong about this everyday until I die

"youd find something to hurt yourself with"

But why is it there at all still?

Nearing 6 months now

Everything of mine, 6 months gone

6 months ago I committed to letting go

Why am I alone in that ?

It feels crazy to hate someone

I don't think I like it at all

Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself, there's no reason to feel threatened by someone who has less critical thinking skills than anyone else on this world.

I'm very lucky to have a functional brain and the ability to use it

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡