@puppyloveandpredators requested a drabble based on the word bald. I literally have no idea wtf this is but I laughed writing it! Hope you enjoy!
Derek Hale had been called many things in his life.
Stiles had a list that was somehow still growing.
But he had never been called bald.
Stiles blinked. “I haven’t even said anything.”
“You’re looking at me like you’re about to say something annoying.”
Derek sighed and continued chopping vegetables. “What is it?”
Stiles walked around the kitchen island, studying him carefully.
“You know, I never noticed before.”
Derek slowly lowered the knife.
“That you’re basically one bad haircut away from being bald.”
Peter, sitting at the table drinking coffee, immediately looked interested.
“Oh, this should be good.”
Stiles waved his hands. “No, no, hear me out. I’m not saying you’re bald. I’m saying you have the energy of someone who could be bald.”
Peter nodded thoughtfully. “He does.”
Derek looked between them. “Why are you both like this?”
“Because,” Stiles explained, “you have the whole intimidating, brooding, emotionally unavailable thing going on. Bald men in movies always have that vibe.”
“Currently.” Stiles laughs.
Peter leaned forward. “I have to admit, I’m curious. What would Derek look like bald?”
“You’re imagining it.” Derek accuses.
Stiles grinned. “I think he’d still look terrifying.”
“Like a villain who owns a very expensive car and tells everyone he doesn’t care about anyone.”
“That’s literally just me now.”
“Exactly. You’d just have less hair.”
Peter laughed so hard he nearly choked on his coffee.
Derek looked betrayed. “You’re enjoying this.”
Stiles walked over and wrapped his arms around Derek from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder.
“For the record,” he said, suddenly softer, “I would still love you if you were bald.”
Then Stiles added, “I’d just buy you a bunch of tiny hats.”
The relaxation disappeared.
“Little ones. Ones that make your head look huge.”
“Then I’m emotionally checking the fuck out.”
Peter smiled into his coffee.
After years of knowing Derek, after watching him lose everything and rebuild himself piece by piece, Peter never thought he’d see the day someone could make Derek look genuinely defeated.
By the terrifying power of Stiles Stilinski and a hypothetical lack of hair.
“Honestly,” Peter said, shaking his head, “I think the bald jokes might be the most dangerous thing you’ve ever survived.”
“Traitor.” Derek mumbled.
And Derek, despite everything, smiled.
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