Go ahead, fly that thing high @princeonrepeat - Tumblr Blog

i'm not even gonna say rest in peace because it’s bigger than death. i never met the man (i was too nervous the one time i saw him) and i never saw him play live, regrettably. i only know the legends I’ve heard from folks and what i’ve heard and seen from his deep catalog of propellant, fearless, virtuosic work. my assessment is that he learned early on how little value to assign to someone else’s opinion of you.. an infectious sentiment that seemed soaked into his clothes, his hair, his walk, his guitar and his primal scream. he wrote my favorite song of all time, ‘when you were mine’. it’s a simple song with a simple melody that makes you wish you thought of it first, even though you never would have - a flirtatious brand of genius that feels approachable. he was a straight black man who played his first televised set in bikini bottoms and knee high heeled boots, epic. he made me feel more comfortable with how i identify sexually simply by his display of freedom from and irreverence for obviously archaic ideas like gender conformity etc. he moved me to be more daring and intuitive with my own work by his demonstration - his denial of the prevailing model...his fight for his intellectual property - ‘slave’ written across the forehead, name changed to a symbol... an all out rebellion against exploitation. A vanguard and genius by every metric I know of who affected many in a way that will outrun oblivion for a long while. I’m proud to be a Prince fan(stan) for life.

When he acts like he never cared

AND YOU WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE GODDAMN FACE BC YOU SAW ME CRYING YOU ASSHOLE YOU SAW ME AT WORK NOT BEING OHK AND YOU KNOW WHATS GOING ON WITH MY BROTHER YOU FUCKING KNOW AND YOU SAID NOTHING YOU DID NOTHING YOU ARE A COLD HEARTED BOY AND I REGRET THAT IM WASTING EMOTIONS BY FEELING ANY WHICH WAY ABOUT YOU OR THIS

Moving past it

Isn’t it funny how your head starts to heal your heart? 2 weeks of hurting because of someone after 4 weeks of falling for that same someone and I’m feeling normal again. It helped when I started to realize I wasn’t necessarily missing him anymore, I was missing what I thought we were going to have. That feeling of “this could be something” was enough to cry over, until I realized that feeling will come back if I work towards getting myself back to where I was before. Good with being alone and independent so that when someone with a spark comes along, I can recognize it.

The hardest part of the past 2 weeks was feeling like I had become someone I would typically judge - I was needy, desperate, trying way too hard. It’s a relief for those feelings to be gone, and I will do my best not to judge them so harshly in the future. When you’re going through the emotional roller coaster of not being enough for another person, there shouldn’t be rules for how you’re going to act or feel. I hated that I kept being told to act cool, chill out, maybe he’ll notice what he’s missing etc. Instead, he knew I missed him, that I wanted him, that I was sad about our ending. And now I know that as I move on and up, I was honest and open with my true feelings.

(Thank god for Tumblr and being able to use this as cheap therapy.)

Etc

Stop inviting me places where I would want to bring him. Stop asking me to do something where before I felt confident in my independence and now I just feel lonely without him there with me. Stop being a lovely day where I can't just wallow in my pity and fall asleep by 8pm so I don't have to think about tomorrow when I'll see him and he'll see me but I'll be the only one still wanting us.

Because I can't write this anywhere else

Without realizing it, I was taking time to figure out what I wanted. I stopped dating, stopped hooking up with people, and really tried to figure out if a relationship with another human was important to me. And if it was - what would it be like? Once I realized that’s what I was doing, I ended up taking close to a full year to myself. And I learned a lot. I got to know myself, good and bad. I got my head right, my job and the people I surround myself with right. It felt good! And then someone came along.

Yes, of course, it was hooking up at first. I’m not ashamed of that. But right away, I knew, there was a SPARK. A spark that had been absent with the previous others, at least in a long time. And the best part was I knew he felt it too. Everything was so natural and it fell into a quick rhythm of wanting to be with him most days and nights. He was kind, sexy in an unnoticed way, thoughtful and also willing to think outside of his box. I was someone new making him think a different way but that was OKAY with him and it made me like him even more.

There was a major bump in the road, but in a way his injury made me feel like we got closer in the first two weeks. He made me feel wanted and I was his “baby,” which left me weak in the knees. He kissed like it was a marathon and he liked when I washed his hair. Someone told me I was glowing and I know it was because of him and his smile at me and his honesty when he was speaking with me.

I have a hard time with emotions because they make me illogical. In my life, I’m pretty straight forward and don’t over think too much. Liking him made me question everything I did or said or felt and that frustrated me because I didn’t understand it. But I had wrapped my head around HIM and understood that HE was someone I wanted, so everything else that seemed scary or too definite was easier to bear.

Last Saturday, we had a day that made me realize what it COULD be like. If this stayed on track, if I let it be. It was wonderful - and yet, he didn’t feel the same. That is when he got scared. He felt crazy at how quickly everything had moved and how close we already were. In the middle of the haze of day drinking, he even said “I could see myself loving you.” This was the first nail in the coffin.

The next day was the beginning of the end. He expressed being scared of us - he didn’t think he could be in a relationship and that’s obviously where we were headed. I couldn’t understand because I wasn’t applying any pressure for that, we were just being natural. I knew that he liked me, he told me that, I felt it. So why ruin a good thing for something that might happen?

The next two days were torture. He didn’t sound the same, talk or text the same, his actions were holding back and he was backtracking to be more comfortable with the idea of us. But I didn’t want that. I told him. I used all of my logic I value to get him to see why my thoughts made sense. He agreed but he still held back and then I became needy. Needy because I didn’t know what I had with him anymore.

Finally, he ended it. I don’t blame him really, he knew he couldn’t handle how serious it had become and he was still being honest with me. He tried for a few days and I do appreciate that. But I can’t help but feel that my neediness and drunken expressions pushed him further away. I needed him more when I realized he wanted to need me less.

I miss him. I feel unwanted and less because he LIKED me but not enough to stay with me. It’s a sunny day and live music is playing and we could be having another perfect day- but I am not someone you wrap your head around and want to be with.

mxfreedom

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fuglyselfie

I need friends who’ll take cool aesthetic photos of me while I pretend I’m not looking

#I think about this ALL THE TIME

daddyfuckedme

#now that's my kind of reality show

jaxnathanielsteller

-You’re one of Luann’s girls.

-Lyla.

-Opie.

#this makes my heart hurt #Opie #still not over it #:(#Opie x Lyla #Sons of Anarchy

I had a dream that Harry Styles was wearing round horn rimmed glasses and it was the sexiest thing I've seen in weeks.

#long hair #shirt unbuttoned #closed mouth smirk #I DIED YALL #I woke up in a daze #and I knew someone on here would understand the pain when I realized it was just a dream #and I don't know Harry Styles and he doesn't wear glasses and ask me to get coffee

swift-network

Do you know how many sit downs I got at the label about that? A lot of me making this album was me going in the studio, making something I loved, and showing it to the label and getting a principle’s-office discussion. Like, “Young lady, you know you’re not going to sell as many albums if you’re not labeled as country.” I wasn’t kicking and screaming, but I was very firm about the fact that to call this album a country album would be the biggest mistake. Because when you’re trying to fool people, you insinuating that you think they’re stupid. And insinuating that people aren’t going to see through your transparent motives is the one worst mistake you can make as an artist who is supposed to respect their fans. That was my argument. I got really, really lectured about not putting my name on the title on the front of the album cover―that was fun. And then it was suggested to me that we use a different picture for the album cover because, they kept saying, “We need eyes, lips, hair on an album cover. You know no one’s going to know who that is.” And I was like, “That’s the point. We’re starting over.” Also, the reason I didn’t put my face on the album cover is because I didn’t want people to fully diagnose the emotional DNA of this album before it came out. If I’m smiling, it’s a happy record; if I’m frowning, it’s a sad record. I wanted people to be able to detect no emotion on my face. It was just taken on this ‘80s Polaroid camera that I have. I knew that I was doing something that I fully believed in when I was confronted with these people on my team, who were only going by what they knew―which is that there hasn’t been a successful country-to-pop crossover, really ever, who has sold as well as their country career did. They’d say “You’re not going to sell as much.“ and I would say, “I don’t care. This is the album I made, this is what I’m going to call it, this is how I’m going to label it.” I knew that I’d made songs that my fans would like; I was like, “You guys don’t know them like I do. You sit in an office, I’m out there at shows with them, I’m on tumblr talking to them, I know what they want from me.” Thank God it worked out. If we’d sold one album less than a million in the first week, it would have been two years of “Taylor, we told you.” So glad we sold almost 1.3 [million] in the first week.

Taylor Swift about 1989 (Elle Magazine)