ok

Alex, 30, this one time I almost got shot by a guy with a fake gun ig: defender.of.meh

[mezool]

my understanding is that euphoria is evil riverdale. which is weird, because riverdale is already evil riverdale

[sergle]

ok so this would be my vision for the cigarette cake x

[fiore-firelily]

while I am talking to you about something gay and stupid a mosquito lands on my arm and sucks all my blood out in an instant, swelling to the size of a person as my remains flutter cartoonishly down to the ground, and it continues the conversation where I left off in a high pitched approximation of my voice

[eatpussypraylove]

Favorite adderall review

[joebidensbignaturals]

[ralfmaximus]

You have to watch the dosage.

[mortimermcmirestinks]

You have to watch the dosage.

[boycritter]

maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

[boycritter]

maybe i like pulling out my debit card instead of using apple pay. maybe i like untangling my wired headphones. maybe i like typing something into the search bar instead of using siri or whatever. maybe i like curating my own social media feeds over an algorithm. i just don’t think everything has to be perfectly streamlined and efficient i like it when things feel tethered to the real world.

[dogpuppy]

[naga-noia]

FAAAAAAAAAGG!!!!

[oedipalrivalry]

being a team sports fan really is like oh what if you stanned the ship of theseus

[notlayingroses]

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

[ceruleanheaven]

how to become good at everything no practice no effort no motivation no passion no talent fast free

[loveridden1999]

[autistobrat]

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

[lesbian-stick-handling]

Interviews with hockey players are fantastic, because it is a complex game that can be spoken about at length, but during the intermission they'll find the Wettest player imaginable on the losing team and for thirty seconds they'll ask them things like "what do you need to do to get more pucks in the net?" And the player (panting, haunted behind the eyes) says something like "well, we've got to get them in there"

[gayteensupreme]

"queer-owned business" means nothing anymore. OpenAI and Palantir are both queer-owned businesses.

[gayteensupreme]

if this is how you find out that both sam altman and peter thiel are gay im sorry

[holdoncallfailed]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

[aropride]

this was written 100 years ago but it reads like a post i would make on my tumblr blog in 2026

[lemonpoppyseedmuffin]

My coffee maker is such a faggot. Every time I use it it whines and moans and groans and pisses all over the place

[slimegirls-slime]

i think they're called baristas

[patronsaintofmistakenidentity]

"cigarette" implies the existence of a much larger "cigar"

[patronsaintofmistakenidentity]

i recovered by the time i hit post but when i first had this thought i had genuinely forgotten cigars exist