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we're not kids anymore.

if i look back, i am lost
Today's Document

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Andulka
Jules of Nature

pixel skylines
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

oozey mess
Cosmic Funnies

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@princess-savannah
The Last Summer (2019) Directed by William Bindley
riaserrell:
That’s good to know in case, by some odd chance, I ever end up marrying someone.
Are you not the marrying type?
cleo-somers:
“Ugh,” she groaned and reached for a breadstick. “I don’t like this- whole thing,” she said about the Matt & River situation, waving the breadstick around. “I know that I’m to blame, but I can’t help but feel like he put me in a very tough spot. Like, Matt knew this would be hard for me. I don’t know. I find it so weird that he would try so hard, even if it’s not working. If this was a five year relationship he was trying to save, then sure, I’d get it, but we- I mean… we hadn’t seen each other in years. I was crying about someone else!” She frowned. “Whatever, I’ll just– I’ll try to talk to him. I have to.” She shrugged. “This is the best garlic bread ever, by the way? Oh my god, I would marry this thing,” she said with a laugh. “Should we order now?”
“That is very weird though I agree. Why would he go so hard to be in a relationship when it was so clear that you were into someone else. it’s almost like he’s trying to rub it into River’s face or something.” Savannah said as she grabbed a breadstick and took a bite. “Well you’d save a lot on the wedding. That’s for sure.” She nodded as she swallowed her bite. “Yes yes sorry I got super invested.”
whoarei:
she guessed my favorite color first try..
but between me and u……. i didnt even have a favorite color until she yelled out yellow!! she was hella excited n smiling like a little kid. so i told her she was right and i havent seen yellow the same since, its in everything. i could probably live in it now.
cleo-somers:
“Stress not good for the baby,” she jokes, taking a sip of her drink and letting out a laugh. “I know. I know, I know you’re right. It’s just so hard to- to talk about this with Matt. He makes himself scarce every time I try to have a serious conversation with him, like he knows it’s coming.”
“Well I mean if that is the case, you’re gonna have to dump him over video chat or something. if this isn’t working out. You both deserve a way out.”
cleo-somers:
Cleo shrugged and shook her head. “I mean, when he asked me out initially, I- I thought I’d lost Riv forever. Which sounds dramatic, I know, but we’d gotten into a fight- the first one, and it was bad. Really bad. I thought I would be… getting over him the next few months. But then I got home and we patched things up, and that… complicated things. But Matt has a lot of faith in- in us, I think. Because we have history together, you know? Mutual childhood crushes, though I didn’t find out about that one until recently. We also almost hooked up that one time- pre-Sean.” She sighed. “There’s something there. I’m just afraid it’s not enough.”
“I think that reason right there is why you should take a step back and re-evaluate all of this. It’s not healthy of you to be in this relationship with all this added stress.”
Kristine Froseth by Janicke Askevold (2015)
cleo-somers:
“Sav,” Cleo squeezed her hand, emotional over her friend’s words. “Thank you. I hope you know that the feeling is very much mutual. I mean, look at us! We’re in New York because you’re going to sell your clothes at a very exclusive boutique in fifth avenue, like… excuse me!? What is this life?” she giggled. “And I know you’re right. It’s just that- when I don’t think about Riv- when I manage to do that… I can see things working out with Matt, you know? And he makes me feel good about myself.” She frowned. “It’s also hard to break things off with him because he’s always busy, and I can’t just shoot him a text or- ghost him,” she sighed. “It also feels shitty over the phone, and the opportunities for face time are slim, believe it or not.” Cleo bit her lip. “But he knows this isn’t- serious, you know? It all started because I was heartbroken over Riv not loving me, so… he knows.”
“I now sometimes it doesn’t even feel real.” She smiled back. “You are just gonna have to do it over video chat then. You can’t stay in this relationship if you are falling this hard for someone else. Wait wait, Matt knows you are interested in someone else then why did he ask you out?”
princess-savannah:
Yeah I appreciate it.
Everything’s going well marriage wise?
Yeah. You know everyone talks about how much marriage feels different to dating but honestly it doesn’t feel much different.
princess-savannah:
“You guys are cute together. You should tell him.” She raised an eyebrow. “I do… what did you do?”
“I wish it was that simple, but he’s my best friend. If I tell him that I love him - love him, love him - and he doesn’t feel the same way, I risk messing up what we have right now. And I can’t- I could never live with that. About Matt, though” She sighed, psyching herself up to tell Savannah the mess she got herself into. “When I came to New York last, when I was upset with Riv because he- he slept with his ex, and it was a whole thing, um, I stayed with Stephen and Ollie, and they’re friends with Matt, so I ended up spending a lot of time with him too. At the very end of the week, he told me that he knew I was going through this with Riv, but that he really wanted me to give him a chance. He said that he liked me a lot, that he enjoyed spending time with me and thought we could make it work– he even asked Stephen for permission. And - you know, at the time, it didn’t seem like such a wild idea. It’s Matt! Right? I- I loved him when we were kids, and I don’t know, I did feel butterflies when I thought about- something with him… so I said yes. I- and I guess I’m sort of dating him now.” She bit her lip, glancing down at her lap as she played with the hem of the tablecloth, picking at a loose thread. “But I don’t- I don’t know, I made up with Riv, and I can’t stop thinking about him, and with Matt, I just don’t… feel anything. But he likes me a lot. And he’s a really good kisser!” Cleo laughed and shook her head. “I don’t know. I feel awful for- for stringing him along, but he really believes if I give him a fair shot we could work out. And maybe we can! Who knows? He- he could be my next greatest love. Right?”
“Cleo...” Savanna began but paused as she took in what she was saying. “Cleo you have to break up with Matt if you don’t feel anything for him. It’s not fair on both of you. You also can’t make yourself feel something for someone if you don’t.” She grabbed her hand from across the table. “I think the best thing to do is break up with Matt now before this goes any longer and you both end up really hurt. And if River can’t see what an amazing, wonderful, beautiful and strong girl you are, then he doesn’t deserve you and that’s his lose. You’re one of the strongest people that I know and you constantly amaze me everyday.”
cleo-somers:
“Oh! yeah,” she let out a soft laugh, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I don’t think that’s something I’m going to get over anytime soon. Or ever!” She furrowed her brows and sighed. “I also did something that has me feeling a bit, uh, not…great. Do you remember Matt? First crush Matt?”
“You guys are cute together. You should tell him.” She raised an eyebrow. “I do... what did you do?”