Hey Its Me Ur Brother

"if james bond was afraid of peanuts

[jasminemichaud]

 princessleialover69:

– “I WASN’T,” LOUIS INSISTS, though he’d say the same thing even if he was and she likely knows that by now. ‘long’ is relative anyway, so it’s not even really a lie. either way, their time together during the workday is generally scarce if at all, and louis is often the type of person to work right through lunch and eat at his desk unless he has specific plans, usually too absorbed in whatever he’s working on to want to pull himself out of it. studies say that whenever you interrupt your focus, it takes at least twenty minutes to recover from that, so he’d rather not waste it. but he’d waste time for her any day, even if it wasn’t her birthday. “ wh – wait. no, you’re joking, ” he says this slowly, coming to the conclusion himself, “ you’re absolutely joking, you wouldn’t. ” he eyes her suspiciously, eyes slightly narrowed, “ – right ? ” he just shakes his head in disbelief as jas presents the idea that her coworkers might be ‘slow’ to warm up to her, as if she isn’t one of the warmest people he’s ever met in his life. he can still remember being nearly intimidated by how friendly she seemed, stumbling over his words the first few times that he tried to speak to her. he’d liked her almost instantly, though. he thought it would be impossible for anyone not to. “ well, i didn’t think that, ” he tells her, knowingly, and his expression is full of playful admonishment. “ what, and impede on whatever you already had planned ? ” he jokes. “ which, i figured you would. but so did i, to be safe. our table’s at 7:45. ” and so is their table at several other places, which he will now have to cancel. but jas doesn’t need to know that !  “ don’t even worry about expensive. it’s your birthday. ” he would also add that she also doesn’t need to worry about him, with whatever gluten-free considerations she’s made, but he also knows that telling jas that would be futile. she cares too much, always, about everything. it’s one of the ways that they tend to be alike, actually, and one of the reasons that he’s comforted by her and her passion for everything. he thinks she’s better at it, though, but he’ll still do all he can to make this day as good as possible for her. 

“okay,” she accepts his assurance with a smile. even late jas isn’t that late, it’s just that punctual louis is always early, so when you split the difference… “you’re right, i wouldn’t! i don’t live to make your life more uncomfortable, louis, quite the opposite.” what he deserves and what makes him feel best are two different things, and in certain departments she’s still learning to accept this, but not when it comes to unwanted attention. “as always, i’ll just have to celebrate your birthday hard enough to make up for all the people who have no idea.” but she’s getting ahead of herself! jas knows that this is her birthday, even if talking about him is her ideal way to spend her time. she can’t help smiling in spite of herself the second he starts shaking his head, even as she keeps talking. they’re extremely similar in this way, though jas has a decent level of self-appreciation. it’s just that louis will always think more highly of her than she could ever possibly think of herself, and vice versa. “you’re extremely biased,” she points out, leaning over to kiss him appreciatively. “i give you kisses and baked goods. and i can only do one of those things for my colleagues.” and she hasn’t even brought in any snacks to the office. well…not a lot. “no, you’re lying,” she gasps dramatically, a knee jerk reaction, then grins. “strike that, what i meant was – you’re amazing and i love you very much. and that was very hot of you right now actually.” louis is a decisive person, when it comes to his own preferences and desires, but he often lets jas decide on activities for the both of them, much less a dinner in honor of her, so it’s nice seeing him just whip out a plan like that. “should we go all out then? champagne? one of everything on the menu?” she’s only teasing, though in a twisted kind of way it sounds nice, if she didn’t have to think about the inevitable food waste. jas picks up the lunch menu in front of her, eyes flitting over the salads. “maybe i should eat light, to leave room for tonight’s big feast.”

[princessleialover69]

– HE SMILES. "YEAH, I DO KNOW THAT." because she’s made it infinitely easier in so many ways. but it also wouldn’t be unlike jas to get carried away by enthusiasm, which he would never fault her for, but he’s seen it happen – granted, it’s impossible not to be endeared by her, at least in his opinion. he's got such fond memories of her, sprawled out on mari's bed with a pouch of glitter gel pens, over-planning the next gallagher party, planning for every possible circumstance and then back-up planning for all of those. it’s hard to see the fault in caring too much, especially when louis’s life has been a revolving door of people who cared very little. in a lot of ways, jas has taken some getting used to, but he likes becoming the person who could get used to such things. to thinking that it’s deserved, that she makes sense, slotted into his life – not like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle, but like the first. and, slowly, the rest seemed to fall into place around her. “ i just wouldn’t want anyone to feel any pressure, ” he adds. if louis’s birthday is a good day, that’s generally enough for him. granted, that’s probably not enough for jas. which is why louis wants to do the most on her day, too, to make her feel as special as she makes him feel. his heart thrums familiarly when she simply mentions kissing him, a reminder of how fucking bad he's got it. “ okay, well, if they’ve ever had anything you’ve ever baked, i’m pretty sure they’ll be biased, too, ” louis points out, one eyebrow arching. jas even makes gluten-free taste amazing, which isn’t an easy feat. louis would know, he’s had a lot of mediocre pastries in his lifetime. “ oh, yeah ? ” he preens, grinning with pride. “ well, there’s more where that came from, ” louis adds, voice lowered somewhat playfully as he leans in towards her. “ and it’s your night. if you want to try and eat everything on the menu…i’ll happily join you, ” he agrees, resisting the urge to check his balance on his phone. “ though you’ve got to tell me now, because you’re right, that’s seriously going to affect our ordering strategy right here, ” he nods conspiratorially, resting his hand on his chin. 

[jasminemichaud]

 princessleialover69:

– HE SMILES GENTLY, NUDGING HER LIGHTLY WITH HIS SHOULDER.“ but … good weird, right ? ” he asks. “ like, as nice as it is and all, ” mostly just having all of your friends in one place, which is something that never happened to him before and will never happen to him again as long as he lives, “ it’s cool that we can move on and start whatever’s next. together. ” for a huge part of louis’s life, at least, he never had that choice. where to next was decided by the government, and even his recruitment to blackthorne was more like being pulled along by a tide rather than something he worked for and decided for himself. in a way, his decision to be with jas is the first one he’s made autonomously for his life and future, rather than rowing in a direction that seemed to be set for him by someone else. “ that sounded ridiculously corny, ” he adds sheepishly, because at least he’s self-aware. “ and i was kidding about that, by the way. i’d be deeply hurt if you actually hated astronomy and you were pretending all this time, ” he adds with a hand over his heart, “ but i do want you to tell me when you’re actually not interested in something, obviously. ” for a spy, louis still takes being lied to a bit personally – but that’s only because he doesn’t trust very many people. it’s only once that trust has been earned that it could hurt, and of course, jas is the person with the most power in the world to hurt him. but she only has that power because louis has full confidence that she never would. “ there are DEFINITELY unfun ways to sweat, ” he narrows his eyes playfully at her, “ but maybe we should just focus on the fun ones. ” an almost cheeky smile tugs at the corners of his lips, a glint in his eye that’s been reserved just for her. “ oh, i know you do, ” he actually laughs at this, because he knows it very well. “ but it doesn’t make it any less intimidating. ” he actually thinks jas was very intimidating when he first met her – someone so beautiful and yet so efficient, like an unstoppable force of nature, scared the hell out of him. it was hard not to get a little tongue-tied in her presence, just out of sheer admiration. which he still feels, strongly, but he’s lucky that proximity forced him to get over the nerves and that even if he made a fool of himself around her a handful of times, she didn’t seem to write him off as a complete loser. he supposes there’s still time for that. “ i’ll leave the interior decorating to you, ” louis promises. he has never had a problem with that sentiment, in fact, the more his apartment starts to look like jas lives there, the more he’ll like it. “ i mean, i wasn’t going to say it, but the great solar storm of march 1989 … ” he trails off with a teasing grin before he leans in to kiss her, “ i’m kidding. of course it’s my favorite. ” besides the aurora borealis on the night of the great solar storm of march 1989, of course. eyes widen at the stack of envelopes, looking them over. he’s still a little stunned, unsure of how to react to such a gift. “ wow, ” his voice is soft, “ this is a lot. i don’t really know what to say. though i’m really tempted to open one. ”  

“i think everything about the idea of post-grad life is good weird. different, kind of scary, but mostly exciting.” she smiles easily at him, her mind a constant whir of ideas about what the next year will be like. and coloring every thought, on the periphery of her career and the rest of her social life, is him, the person she gets to go home to every day. jas takes his nudge as an invitation to lean her head on his shoulder, looking at up him through her mascaraed lashes. “yeah, very cool,” she teases, turning her head to press a quick kiss to his arm. it is, honestly, the coolest thing ever. getting to be an adult, whatever that might entail, starts with the decision to move in with her boyfriend and finally learn what it’s like to split the rent and bills and household chores and it’s so lame but those are the things that excite her most about graduation. knowing that louis is one of the neatest and cleanest people ever to walk the earth helps, too. “and would it surprise you to learn that i liked it?” there’s no such thing as too corny for jas, and given the way they both act around one another, she definitely would have figured out if she had a limit by now. “i’m just a lucky girl, my boyfriend has fascinating interests, what can i say?” she’s being 100% genuine, because he does, thank god he doesn’t collect stamps or something…though jas would easily find a way to be enthralled by that if he was the one talking about it. “i’ll concede defeat, though i won’t elaborate why.” torture and imprisonment comes to mind, unfortunately! “or, maybe, try to think of it this way: you have so many specific interests and you talk about them so passionately that i can’t help but retain all of that information and use it to get you gifts i think you’ll like. it’s sort of…like…your fault?” she suggests innocently, blinking a few times. there are certainly people in her life, or people she’s come across, who are a million times harder to shop for than louis. but when it comes to him, she has to narrow down all of her ideas. it’s a matter of picking and choosing, which can be a challenge of its own. “oh, good! because i have several pinterest boards with different aesthetics and i’m still trying to narrow it down. thankfully, i have time to decide…though i wish i didn’t, you know? i’m ready to move in with you now.” especially compared to the gallagher method of bunking four to a room. she’s small so it’s not too uncomfortable, but sharing an actual bed bed and getting snuggles is astronomically preferable, obviously. jas’s noise of disbelief is muffled by his quick kiss, but she gasps in disbelief when he pulls away. “you weren’t even there!” she usually doesn’t get nervous watching other people open presents from her, it’s normally an exciting prospect, but she can’t help how sweaty her hands feel suddenly. it’s not even rational, really, of course louis would appreciate the time she put into it if nothing else, but…perhaps it’s because these letters mean so much to her, she’d meant every word. she peers over, tapping her baby pink nail against the top envelope labelled open now. “well, you can open this one. if you want.”

[princessleialover69]

it’s not that louis can read jas’s mind – though sometimes, it does feel like he can, she’s very expressive – but her eyes give away more than her voice does sometimes. and he can see it there, the whirl of thoughts and ideas behind her words, more than she can express in a single sentence. he knows she tries sometimes, and he loves watching it happen, the way she talks so quickly and excitedly that her words trip over each other. it’s one of the first things he remembers noticing about her, liking about her, because it had immediately set him at ease when they’d first met in his dorm room at gallagher, years ago now. “ mostly exciting, ” he agrees. “ the good parts of it tend to outweigh what’s scary for me anyway. like living with you, or . . . starting life together. in a real way. ” not that any of this hasn’t been real, but he’s sure that she knows what he means. gallagher is more of a stepping stone toward the future, and it’s where they started, but louis is really fucking thankful that it’s not where their forever will be. for one, the cramped co-ed dorms are not that romantic. or private. “ no, because you’re corny, ” he teases, unable to resist touching her cheek affectionately. as if he doesn’t like it, too. that’s obvious, though, written all over his face, which is often nervous and terse, louis with his serious eyes and worry lines – but not around her. his face looks entirely different around jas. his dad commented on it once, that he hardly recognized louis when he smiled like that. louis had no idea, really, that he was that different around her. mostly, it just felt like being more himself. “ my fault ? aw, come on, ” he laughs, nose crinkling playfully, “ i think it has more to do with the fact that you have expert training in paying attention. i mean, my girlfriend is the best spy of her year at an elite spy college. i’m actually helpless. and completely blameless, ” he adds with a grin that borders on shit-eating. though if you asked louis, falling for her was completely out of his control. and what she’s doing with him, he’s still not entirely sure ( and trying not to ask too much, for fear that she starts wondering, too. ) “ i know. i’m pretty ready for it, too. though somewhat intimidated by these ‘pinterest boards’, ” he adds with playful air quotes around the words. louis may be great with technology, but he’s never really understood pinterest. but the joy that jas gets out of sorting boxes of pictures into other little boxes of pictures ? long live pinterest, in his opinion. “ well, no, but imagine how much better it’d be if i had ? ” he laughs. “ well, it does say so, ” he laughs at the serious instruction, reaching for the envelope so that he can carefully tear it open.

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​.

“this might not be comforting…” she starts, which is in itself not a comforting beginning to a sentence, so she steps towards him and tugs him closer. “but nobody is ever really safe.” kids scooped up at bus stops, girls followed home while jogging, couples taken unawares while kissing in the car – it seems like no matter what you do, someone might want to hurt you. “the difference is that you and i know how to protect ourselves, and how to fight back. and we’re good at it, too,” she adds with a faint smile, because if they’re going to be a part of this crazy business, at least they’re talented. “of course, i also feel better when we’re together.” it doesn’t make jas feel better solely for safety reasons, either, her entire life is made better when she gets to spend her time within louis’s orbit. “mm, well, now everyone knows what happens when you fuck with a gallagher student.” if you don’t end up dead, you at least end up hurt, and a lot of the student body has connections that outsiders wouldn’t want to anger. she reaches up to gently pinch his chin, then gives it a kiss, because anyone who messes with him is just begging to have their ass kicked. jas has a savior complex in general, she’s somewhat aware of that, and it’s possible she would have wanted to stab cecil back no matter who he had attacked. before the boys came, jas considered all gallagher girls to be family. but because cecil had picked louis of all people, she didn’t just want to hurt him, she couldn’t stop herself. still, she couldn’t say for sure that she wouldn’t have gone down to the sublevels on the behalf of someone else, too. jas nuzzles against his neck, and she is taking in everything he’s saying, she’s not sure she could ever not listen to louis even if she tried, but reliving this entire situation just makes her clingier than usual. thank god she gets to do this, thank god there’s still something so precious to her in this world, as dangerous and scary as it seems at times. she sighs against his skin before pulling back to look him in the eyes. “sweetheart, there’s a million things you take the blame for that aren’t your fault. and as much as i hate it, i’ve accepted it, my little worrywart. i’m not trying to make you feel any guiltier than you already do, but you should just…remember that i make my own choices, and if i want to take a risk for the person i love, then that’s my decision.” jas leans up to kiss him, twice, in quick succession, then breaks their embrace only to grab his hand and squeeze it. “haha,” she deadpans, but with a smile. “if i actually admitted to that, you would be extremely upset with me! plus, i know it’s a lot easier to get you out here than to do something that dramatic.” she rarely plays that card, because she wants louis to enjoy his new job and not waste any time or energy visiting her, but she always could. they both know that, it goes both ways. “oh, gosh, what should we do?” she wonders aloud, swinging his arm as they walk. “there’s so many options. i’d hate to accidentally spend the whole night in bed binge watching tv together.” except that’s exactly what she wants to do.

– SHE’S RIGHT. IT IS NOT COMFORTING. but her optimism can be contagious at times, and jas has always had a way of looking at things that louis hasn’t been able to see for himself. after all, he can see all the ways that gallagher students haven’t been prepared for what’s come at them – all the times they’ve been hurt or deceived on their state-of-the-art campus. “ i get that. i do, i just . . . this just makes being apart this year even harder, knowing that someone is out to get you and that i can’t be here all the time. not that i’m even sure what i’d do, just that it would feel better if i could be here with you, ” louis explains. though he does have every intention of trying to trace the video when he has time to himself. he has to do everything he can. “ well, obviously. though anyone would be an idiot for trying to mess with you, ” he says sincerely. he tries to smile to punctuate it, but it’s still difficult – not because of her, but because of how heavy this conversation has been and what the implications of it are. whoever released that video wanted to put those in it in danger. and in these circumstances, jas had been in the video because of him. it’s hard not to be taken back to the memory of that night – he’d been determined to protect luce, serious enough to die for it if necessary, but that didn’t mean that he hadn’t been terrified. “ i know you do. and i love you for that, i love you so much. but it doesn’t change the fact that i’m going to feel the weight of it, and that i’m going to worry about you. are you...are you scared ? ” he asks her. “ because it is okay if you are. i don’t want you to feel like you have to put on a strong front or that you can’t tell me just because i worry. i want to be here for you. ” he pulls her back in after she kisses him quickly for a longer one, partially because he can’t get enough of her, and also because if anything, this is a reminder that he’s got to make the most of all of their moments. not because she could be dead, but because he’ll have to go back to d.c. shortly and he’ll spend most of the time away from her thinking about her. hoping that she’s alright. “ would you ? ” he parrots playfully, leaning down to look at her with a discerning eye, “ does sound pretty dreadful. maybe we should spend the evening running drills in the gym so you’re prepared for anything, as a gallagher girl. you wouldn’t want to be seen as lazy, ” he notes. “ – there is a new episode of bake-off, though. ” 

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​.

“well, i still hope you weren’t waiting long.” partially because she feels bad making him wait, but mostly because she wants to be where ever he is whenever she’s allowed to be, for as long as she can. it’s harder to make their lunch breaks line up than she thought it’d be when she first started with the fbi, but since it’s her birthday, she was especially determined. “oops, i forgot, i handed out little desk calendars to everyone in your department with your birthday circled all special.” she grins, as if the joke isn’t obvious enough, because she may be extra but not in a way that makes louis uncomfortable, she hopes. it’s oddly nice being the only one at work who knows when it’s his birthday, so she can monopolize his special day and not have to compete with the other louis fans in the office. “apparently,” she admits, trying to conceal a smile. “i sort of expected people to be slow to warm up to…me, but also everyone, when they’re new. especially since i started straight out of school.” louis is an exception, because he’s just so good at what he does that naturally she’d expect his coworkers to recognize his talents immediately. “you didn’t make a secret reservation for us?” she asks, a crinkle in her nose that forewarns a smile, because he certainly knows her well enough to know she has some ideas of her own. “i was thinking rooster & owl. it’s kind of expensive, but i have a fancy rich boyfriend, so.” she smirks, because they’re both doing well enough to do something nice on special occasions, which is what louis deserves. and since he’s still learning how to treat himself to nice things, she’ll keep doing it for him. “and they have a lot of gluten free options!”

– “I WASN’T,” LOUIS INSISTS, though he’d say the same thing even if he was and she likely knows that by now. ‘long’ is relative anyway, so it’s not even really a lie. either way, their time together during the workday is generally scarce if at all, and louis is often the type of person to work right through lunch and eat at his desk unless he has specific plans, usually too absorbed in whatever he’s working on to want to pull himself out of it. studies say that whenever you interrupt your focus, it takes at least twenty minutes to recover from that, so he’d rather not waste it. but he’d waste time for her any day, even if it wasn’t her birthday. “ wh – wait. no, you’re joking, ” he says this slowly, coming to the conclusion himself, “ you’re absolutely joking, you wouldn’t. ” he eyes her suspiciously, eyes slightly narrowed, “ – right ? ” he just shakes his head in disbelief as jas presents the idea that her coworkers might be ‘slow’ to warm up to her, as if she isn’t one of the warmest people he’s ever met in his life. he can still remember being nearly intimidated by how friendly she seemed, stumbling over his words the first few times that he tried to speak to her. he’d liked her almost instantly, though. he thought it would be impossible for anyone not to. “ well, i didn’t think that, ” he tells her, knowingly, and his expression is full of playful admonishment. “ what, and impede on whatever you already had planned ? ” he jokes. “ which, i figured you would. but so did i, to be safe. our table’s at 7:45. ” and so is their table at several other places, which he will now have to cancel. but jas doesn’t need to know that !  “ don’t even worry about expensive. it’s your birthday. ” he would also add that she also doesn’t need to worry about him, with whatever gluten-free considerations she’s made, but he also knows that telling jas that would be futile. she cares too much, always, about everything. it’s one of the ways that they tend to be alike, actually, and one of the reasons that he’s comforted by her and her passion for everything. he thinks she’s better at it, though, but he’ll still do all he can to make this day as good as possible for her. 

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​.

“it’s not actually weird, it just…feels weird. the idea of never coming back.” she imagines a lot of people feel that way about college, though in their case, there’s a good deal of trauma and bad memories associated with the gallagher campus, so finally leaving entirely will be a positive. “i like going places, and seeing new things, and being with you, so it sounds exactly like our kind of trip,” she assures him, and while she may not love astronomy the way he does (how many people do?), she’s always had an interest and she finds it plenty fascinating. “but you do realize…being in love with you back is why i’m gonna do the stuff you love. i like making you happy, and luckily for me, you have interests i don’t mind learning about…mostly.” it’s not that jas doesn’t like video games, she’s just not good at all of them. jas feigns confusion. “all sweat is fun?” she can’t help but grin at his reaction, even if this is basically one of those i-don’t-think-it’s-a-joke-anymore kind of things. she can’t be blamed entirely; pheromones are a crazy thing! and she’s always thought he smelled nice, she should have known earlier just how much she liked him, or at least that she felt an instant attraction. it’s a stroke of fantastic luck that she managed to get to know him well enough to figure out it went much deeper than that. they hadn’t been in the same year, they’d taken vastly different classes, and it’s scary to think of how easy it would have been to never connect at all. “i like giving gifts!” she insists, much more than receiving them, though she values everything he’s ever given her, mostly because it’s from him. jas swears she’s the most low pressure person to shop for. “i’ve done it before and i’ll do it again,” she threatens, smiling, because despite herself, she really does love slowly decorating her future home. “let’s not put it over the bed, though, we don’t have to be that cheesy.” she leans over it give him a quick kiss, raising an eyebrow when she pulls away to look at him. “what are the other four, is it at least ranked number one?” he probably would have said that if it was, though, right? “okay, the other thing.” jas fights the silly nerves the bubble in her tummy when she crawls over to grab the stack of envelopes before returning to hand them to louis. “these are…me being there for you when i can’t actually be there for you. you can read them whenever you need them. it was really nice getting to sit down and write exactly what i wanted to say, so, well, hopefully you like them, too.”

– HE SMILES GENTLY, NUDGING HER LIGHTLY WITH HIS SHOULDER. “ but . . . good weird, right ? ” he asks. “ like, as nice as it is and all, ” mostly just having all of your friends in one place, which is something that never happened to him before and will never happen to him again as long as he lives, “ it’s cool that we can move on and start whatever’s next. together. ” for a huge part of louis’s life, at least, he never had that choice. where to next was decided by the government, and even his recruitment to blackthorne was more like being pulled along by a tide rather than something he worked for and decided for himself. in a way, his decision to be with jas is the first one he’s made autonomously for his life and future, rather than rowing in a direction that seemed to be set for him by someone else. “ that sounded ridiculously corny, ” he adds sheepishly, because at least he’s self-aware. “ and i was kidding about that, by the way. i’d be deeply hurt if you actually hated astronomy and you were pretending all this time, ” he adds with a hand over his heart, “ but i do want you to tell me when you’re actually not interested in something, obviously. ” for a spy, louis still takes being lied to a bit personally – but that’s only because he doesn’t trust very many people. it’s only once that trust has been earned that it could hurt, and of course, jas is the person with the most power in the world to hurt him. but she only has that power because louis has full confidence that she never would. “ there are DEFINITELY unfun ways to sweat, ” he narrows his eyes playfully at her, “ but maybe we should just focus on the fun ones. ” an almost cheeky smile tugs at the corners of his lips, a glint in his eye that’s been reserved just for her. “ oh, i know you do, ” he actually laughs at this, because he knows it very well. “ but it doesn’t make it any less intimidating. ” he actually thinks jas was very intimidating when he first met her – someone so beautiful and yet so efficient, like an unstoppable force of nature, scared the hell out of him. it was hard not to get a little tongue-tied in her presence, just out of sheer admiration. which he still feels, strongly, but he’s lucky that proximity forced him to get over the nerves and that even if he made a fool of himself around her a handful of times, she didn’t seem to write him off as a complete loser. he supposes there’s still time for that. “ i’ll leave the interior decorating to you, ” louis promises. he has never had a problem with that sentiment, in fact, the more his apartment starts to look like jas lives there, the more he’ll like it. “ i mean, i wasn’t going to say it, but the great solar storm of march 1989 . . . ” he trails off with a teasing grin before he leans in to kiss her, “ i’m kidding. of course it’s my favorite. ” besides the aurora borealis on the night of the great solar storm of march 1989, of course. eyes widen at the stack of envelopes, looking them over. he’s still a little stunned, unsure of how to react to such a gift. “ wow, ” his voice is soft, “ this is a lot. i don’t really know what to say. though i’m really tempted to open one. ”  

[josefkavalier]

𝗠𝗬 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣𝗦 𝗫 𝗧𝗜𝗞𝗧𝗢𝗞

jas michaud & louis redgrave

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​.

there are exceptions to every rule, which is something jas understood when she broke them to go after cecil. murder was never her intention, but she isn’t regretful about how everything had gone down, either. it’s easier for her, because she hadn’t taken cecil’s life with her own hands, she doesn’t have to live knowing that she’s capable of murder. but she knows she is, in any variety of situations. one day she might just have a license to kill, and she’ll make use of that if forced. so even though jas normally doesn’t condone murder, when it comes to the people she loves the most, she can’t help but think it’s justified. even if it’s selfish. jas doesn’t care half as much about the leak as louis does, but then again, that’s part of why she’d do anything for him. because, somehow, he loves her just as much as she loves him. they both prioritize the other. “they probably had a reason…which is more concerning than the leak itself.” jas doesn’t know if it was a distraction or a tactic to get those involved in trouble with both gallagher and the brotherhood. perhaps she thinks too highly of herself, but she’s not worried about fighting for her life. she trusts that she can handle anything, which might be one of her biggest faults. the thrum of his heartbeat beneath her ear is just as comforting as always, something she can’t feel and hear when they’re miles apart. jas inhales with her cheek against his chest, focusing on his scent for a moment before replying. “i’ll always feel bad that it makes you feel bad,” she says quietly, because she’s almost certain that no matter how much time passes, louis will wrongly think he has blood on his hands. the only blood on his hands was his own, clutching at an injury he never should have had. at least cecil had earned his punishment, while louis was targeted because of a legacy he barely knew anything about. she knows he wouldn’t see it that way, so she doesn’t argue the point. jas tilts her head up and presses up on her tip toes to plant a kiss to his neck, then smiles. “believe it or not…i think one day we’ll be able to be happy without all the worry.” if everything works out as they hope, then working in the same building will bring a huge amount of comfort. “okay, don’t judge me for this, but you hurrying over in a panic is sort of nice, because we don’t have any obligation to be somewhere else.” especially with her role on the party planning committee. “well, maybe you do, but since you’re already here…let’s see if we can pretend that work and classes don’t exist for one night.”

– LOUIS HADN’T WANTED TO SAY THAT, so he just nods. he hates the idea of something more sinister, sure, but even more than that, he hates the idea of jas being a pawn in it. if they’d do this to her, there’s no telling what the limits are. “ i hate this, ” he admits out loud, “ i just . . . i know we’ll never be REALLY safe in our profession, but i’d feel better if we could be together. i don’t want to leave you here, and, well, obviously i have my reasons for thinking that gallagher isn’t exactly as well protected as it claims to be. ” considering that he was stabbed despite touted state-of-the-art security. teeth sink into his lower lip for a beat, and while he knows that jas can protect himself, likely better than he can, it doesn’t make him like the idea of being apart from her under the circumstances any better. he hugs her a little tighter, trying to focus on the here and now, that she’s currently in his arms and they’re together, rather than think about the future where they part ways and he’s spending many sleepless nights worrying about whether she’s resting well. after all, he’d never expected such footage to be leaked, what else could happen that he didn’t expect ? “ i’m sorry. i never want you to feel badly, i know – i know you were protecting me, and that means . . . so much more than i could ever really express, ” but it’s never going to change the fact that what happened in the sublevels put jas in danger, in so many ways, even before this tape was released. and she did it for him. “ but i could never, ever forgive myself if something happened to you because of all this. you do understand that, right ? ” his voice wavers slightly as his speaks, words heavy with intention. he’s not trying to make her feel bad, he just wants her to know how he feels – which, louis can count on his hands the amount of people he’s ever wanted to put the effort in to make himself completely known to them. but he needs her to know everything, even if it’s needy or a little selfish. his expression softens at her request, even if the tightness in his chest isn’t totally resolved. “ if you leaked the tape to get me out here, admit it now because that would make me feel a whole lot better, ” he teases, kissing the tip of her nose. “ but yeah, that sounds nice. ” he’d escape the world with her forever if he could. 

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​.

“hey!” she greets breathlessly, gripping the side of his face to plant a kiss on his cheek before dropping into the seat across from him. “sorry i’m late, i guess a lot of people were waiting until lunch to tell me happy birthday.” jas produces a cupcake in an individual holder and sets it on the table top with a smile. “janice gave me this, then i got a few giftcards and some other things, i’ll show you when we get home.” of course, she hadn’t brought any of them to lunch, aside from the cupcake which she wants to share with louis for dessert. “it’s nice to know my co-workers remembered my birthday,” she says, trying to sound casual, but it means a lot that they even like her enough to acknowledge the day. / @princessleialover69​​

– “IT’S OKAY, I’M PATIENT,” HE LAUGHS, attention focused on her as she settles in across from him with a considerable amount of energy, more than he had if so many people had gone out of their way to spoke to him. he’s had his head buried in a computer screen all morning, and has just pulled himself out of that haze to have lunch with her. “ i haven’t even told my coworkers my birthday, ” he admits with a sheepish grin, “ and don’t you dare do it, that’s just between us. but people here are nice – and they like you. so, it’s not really all that surprising, ” he says, unwrapping his sandwich ( gluten-free bread, naturally. ) “ have you thought about what you want to do for dinner tonight ? ” he asks, though it’s a question mostly to start the conversation – he knows she’s thought about it, probably has a plan and several back-up plans, but he’s extremely comforted by that, by the way her mind works. it’s one of the many reasons why he loves her. 

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​.

“you better,” she says with a soft smile, because she’s fully expecting him to never broach the subject again. while his father’s text may sound sort of lame, she has to assume louis’s response wasn’t much better. but even though the conversation was probably pretty short, it’s still progress! especially when emojis are involved. “he’s a spy, louis, and he’s not a million years old!” jas, for one, would like to give the man some credit. “i bet he just doesn’t know how to use them yet, it doesn’t come naturally.” people also have different interpretations of emojis, it really depends on the circles you run in. “you saying for now just means i’ll eventually be the winner later on,” she says with certainty, because part of her still believes she’ll become obnoxious over time, but she’ll always love everything about louis. so that makes her the winner in the grand scheme of things. “what about when you tear up from allergies, is that crying?” tearing and crying are totally different things, they might even produce different kinds of water, but she can’t remember off the top of her head. “you’ve done lots of awful things, like be unbearably cute, and sweet and thoughtful and considerate, all of which are things that make my tear ducts act out! thank goodness you have such good tear-wiping thumbs.” it’s intended as a joke, but? not untrue. he’s really good at it. jas knows she could have probably turned up this weekend and said happy birthday! and just kissed him for a really long time and he would have been satisfied with that, but…she likes buying things for people she loves and getting to see the expression on their face. she can’t even see louis’s face when they’re kissing, though that’s not something she’s complaining about, though…in a way she does sort of miss him when they get caught up like this and she can’t actually look at his flushed face. “so when i move in,” she says between kisses, breathing a soft laugh against his lips, “and we have more time to do this, does that mean we’ll do it less, because we don’t have to make the most of our time together anymore?” she already knows the answer to this, but it doesn’t stop her from fishing for confirmation, because physical intimacy comes so easily for them that she knows exactly what to say to switch his mindset. “they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but i dunno…” she presses closer to him and tightens her arms around his neck even more. “i feel very fond of you right here.”

– HE JUST SMILES AT HER, because she’s right – he probably wouldn’t bring it up unless it really did feel particularly important or unless he wanted to talk about it. she knows that though, of course, which is one of the reasons louis has always felt so comfortable around jas – she seems to read his mind sometimes, or when she doesn’t, she just seems to understand the moments where he might not want to be read. as someone who grew up spending a lot of time alone, sure, he craves her company, but there are also times where he wants a certain amount of space and privacy, and jas has always seemed to know how to walk that line perfectly. “ there’s not some sort of spy requirement to use emojis or anything ! in fact, it was sort of weird to see him use an emoji, since, well, they’re more emotive than he is in person. but i think as long as he doesn’t get into bitmoji, i can adjust. ” he nudges her lightly with his shoulder anyhow, but he kind of likes that she’s sticking up for his dad in this instance. he actually think it has made things a lot easier for him and his father, having a presence like jas to connect them – the way introverts need extroverts sometimes. “ i don’t know. i don’t actually know that much about the logistics of crying, and i’m starting to realize that i shouldn’t argue with the expert on it, ” because he really has never met anyone that cries as much as jas does, but genuinely he loves it – for a lot of reasons, aside from the fact that it’s her, it’s a huge comfort for him to be around someone that displays their emotions so openly. though logic surrounding it aside, he thinks he just loves all the things that make jas who she is, uniquely, and he feels lucky to be privy to so many of those moments. “ my thumbs have been training my whole life for this, actually, ” he adds lamely. he pulls her closer, a low laugh escaping his lips, “ you want to talk about the future right now ? ” louis asks, a kiss pressed to her neck and then her jawline. “ i think we’ll do it just as much, because we’ll have more time together. i don’t think there’s ever going to be a point where i can get enough of you. ” 

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​.

“that’s…” she pauses before exhaling. sad! but she won’t let herself overthink insignificant little things like that tonight, because this is undoubtedly a happy occasion, and though tears seem inevitable, surely she won’t shed any thinking about how louis will never see the astronomy tower again. “actually, i was thinking we should take a trip to see the lowell observatory someday.” it’s more than a day via car and a few hours in a plane, but this is her person, so jas has to find ways to make air travel more comfortable for him, because she’d ideally like to see the world with him. but she can start with arizona. she grins up at him, lucky in the knowledge that she actually has a boyfriend who cares about things like anniversaries, even the half years, because not everyone can say that. it’s been a long time since jas has been with someone for this long and she knows it’s a first for louis, and selfishly she’s pleased nobody else can say they’ve had him all to themselves for a whole year. more than that, if you count from their first kiss, which in her heart she does, but technically relationships officially begin when finally defining said relationship. “god, don’t remind me what i’m missing out on,” she jokes with a laugh, the mention of him sweating making her think of their long-running bit more than anything else. jas plops down on the bundle of artfully arranged pillows, tugging him down gently to sit beside her. “i’ve conveniently thought of gifts that won’t take up a lot of space, because i’m considerate. and your apartment isn’t exactly a shoebox, either, mister fbi agent.” grinning still, even as she leans in to kiss him one last time before crawling over to grab the first gift, she’s oddly nervous that he won’t like the gifts, or that she’s done too much, per usual. jas produces the star poster from behind the picnic basket, simply wrapped in brown paper, and hands it over to him. “this is…extremely cheesy, but i figure, for us, it makes sense.” she bites her lip, over-explaining even before he’s fully unwrapped it. “the date on it is our first kiss, since…” that’s what the sky looked like when they were looking at it, together, through his telescope.

– “I DIDN’T MEAN IT IN A WEIRD WAY! i just meant that obviously i wouldn’t come back to campus when you’re gone because then i’d really have no reason to, so...this IS my last chance, because as cool as the astronomy tower at gallagher academy is, i’m not sure it’s worth visiting actual gallagher academy for. ” louis grins sheepishly, but in his defense, he did get stabbed here. and people keep dying, so – he figures he’s probably safer the farther that he is away from this place...but, of course, he’d do anything for jas, so he continually hauls his ass back to campus when there’s opportunity to see her. “ that would be fun, ” he agrees with a smile, “ sounds like our kind of trip, anyway. at least...i think it is. though, if you weren’t actually that into astronomy, you could stop pretending at this point, i’m already in love with you. ” he’s teasing, mainly because he doesn’t think jas could keep up a ruse like that for that long, and if she was really going to humor all of his interests, she’d play more minecraft. but still, louis knows a lot more things about her interests than he ever would have before, like the fact that all nail polish colors have funny names for no reason, never just ‘green.’ “ it’s not sweaty in the fun way ! ” louis argues, as if there is a clear difference, but still, he scrunches his nose when he laughs, shaking his head at her. still, he feels incredibly lucky to be with someone that seems to find all things about him attractive, and he supposes that’s why they’re able to celebrate one year together – because they’re so stupidly in love with one another that even things that other people would overlook or find uninteresting, they love about each other. he figures it was like that from the moment that he first met jas, he was fixating on things about her that he wouldn’t have noticed in anyone else, like the cadence of her voice or her tendency to ramble, her close attention to detail, or all of her cute outfits. and louis is not the sort of person who really notices people’s outfits, but he would always notice hers. maybe that was just part of always wanting to know more about her – memorizing the smallest details, taking what he could get. if only he could tell his past self how much he would have now, but even then, he’s pretty sure he still would have savored every little thing. “ i know. you’re an extremely expert gift-giver, it’s sort of intimidating, ” he points out, a gentle kiss to her lips. he unwraps the gift as she presents it, features confused at first but they quickly relax in understanding. “ wall art...the boldest of gifts...” he trails off before smiling widely, “ but of course i love it. just like i remember it. definitely top five favorite skies. ” 

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​

“okay. but you can.” even if louis isn’t on the video, he was the one cecil had attempted to kill. the impact of what cecil did will always have a far greater impact on him than on her. they do talk about it, sometimes, but usually in the few hushed words spoken after a nightmare and not in the kind of detail he likely still isn’t prepared to go into. jas just wants him to know that she’ll always be there to lean on, that he’ll never be alone with his thoughts or feelings as long as she’s around. sometimes she worries about pushing too hard, so she tries to show her supportiveness in other ways, knowing he’ll get the idea. all things considered, it’s inconceivable that he’d care more about how she feels right now, but she doesn’t want to force him to think about how, as far as her involvement is concerned, it all comes back to him. because the decision was hers, regardless of why she did it. “we don’t have to talk about it all over again, and you know i can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt and i’m always going to do my best to protect you, but i also want you to know that i don’t feel like…this is always going to be my impulse to prove how much you mean to me.” because she would have preferred being there for louis physically, to stroke his hair when his arm made it impossible to fall asleep, instead of leaving him in his dorm bed alone to go down to the sublevels. she’s sure that, on a certain level, he’d always known she was involved the second cecil’s attack was broadcasted to the school. regardless, she never would have pretended otherwise or tried to keep the truth from him, even if it would have caused him less stress. “i know you don’t see me as a violent person or anything, maybe i’d do things differently now…but at the time it was really scary, because it felt like i’d just found you and someone tried to take you away and it…” she looks at the ground and exhales, then meets his eyes and forces a smile. “freaked me out a lot, obviously i’d still be terrified if something happened to you now, and it’s not that i’m getting used to that, because i’ll never get used to that, i’m just more secure with the idea of you being a big part of the rest of my life. and at the time, i felt like this whole amazing future we’re going to have together was almost taken away in an instant, before i even got to tell you how i felt, and i panicked.” jas has never felt the need to explain away what she did, because she’d admit it to anyone and not even qualify it as wrong, but it was a rash decision that she didn’t have a lot of time to rationalize her way out of. she tugs him gently in one direction and brings the back of his hand to her lips, leaving them there for a silent moment. “i missed you,” she says quietly, followed by a half-hearted laugh. “i wish you weren’t here for shitty reasons but i feel a lot better now that you are.”

– IT'S NOT AN EASY MEMORY TO RELIVE. sure, there are parts of it that he's proud of – the way that he managed to ward of his attacker and protect luce, it gave him CONFIDENCE in himself that he might not have found otherwise upon graduation. but not only was he nearly killed, but someone died because of him – and louis doesn't have the sort of vengeful heart that could feel good about that. he understands it all objectively, that cecil was a bad person and that he deserved what he got, but there's always a twist in his stomach when he thinks about everything that happened, always watching over his shoulder like some brotherhood member might one day take revenge on him for causing the death of a fallen brother. it's maybe a little irrational, but the memory keeps coming back up no matter how hard he tries to forget, and the idea of the video of cecil's death circulating again, that man's name on the tip of every gallagher student's tongue...it does make him feel a little sick. it's true that he cares more about jas, about her future and what this means, but it is also sort of NICE to make this about her, about how she's feeling, because he doesn't know how to unpack his own mind. " i do know that. and you don't...i mean, we don't have to talk about it again, i know how you feel and you know how i feel. this is a separate issue – that someone took it upon themselves to spread that tape when it wasn't any of their business, " there's actually a bite to louis's usually soft-spoken tone, a bit upset on her behalf. anyway, thankfully people trying to kill him hasn't become an occurrence of habit and they haven't had to worry about such a thing since. " hey, it's okay. i don't want you to feel bad about it, " he says, reaching out to pull her close, wrapping his arms around her, " it was a lot to process, especially back then when i was still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened. and i know...well, i know how scary it is to have someone you love and be worried you could lose them. i worry about you all the time. but if that's a constant with how happy you make me, then it's worth it. ” still, he doesn't like discussing the ethics of the situation, he's just more happy to be near her now, more grateful with each passing second. " i missed you too, " he laughs weakly. " i like being here under better circumstances too, even for all the fancy galas. but i wanted to be here now just as much. "

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​

“good! let me know what he says,” she teases back, though she would pay the big bucks to watch that conversation go down, actually. jas is, quietly, very invested in louis’s relationship with his father, but she knows that being over zealous about them getting closer won’t be effective with either party. besides, she believes in her boyfriend, and he’s already making progress in that department with or without her help. (she does try to help a little.) “you want to call it a tie?” she asks, smiling into the kiss before wrapping her arms around his neck, because this is just one of the many many many things she’ll never get sick of, and one of the top five reasons why they’re both lucky to have been born at all, and to have found each other despite being born in different countries in vastly different situations. “sorry,” she mutters, not meaning it, then brushes her nose softly against his. jas can’t even imagine how he’d react if he ever made her cry in the bad way. the closest he’s ever come was probably when he’d gotten hurt, which wasn’t remotely his fault, but her constant battle to fight back tears had definitely not been of the happy variety. “i don’t even know if you can call it crying, really, i just get teary-eyed. my tear ducts feel very strongly about you!” that seems almost inevitable, so she smiles at the idea of being together for long enough to reach that point, and because any time he touches her hair or his fingers graze her face, her stomach flips. “if it helps, i’ll probably never get used to it.” jas has been assuming that she’ll have to one day, maybe because she’ll be older or maybe because she’ll stop finding every little thing he does so endearing, but at the same time, how could she ever possibly get used to knowing she’s with the exact right person? “i know you do,” she says, repeating a sentiment she’s shared countless times, but she never gets tired of reassuring him. “oh, yeah?” jas subtly tightens her arms around his neck, tilting her head slightly. “intentional how?” she leans in to kiss him softly, more tender than passionate, though she has a lot of passion when it comes to the birthday boy.

– "I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED," LOUIS SAYS, and he will, only that he's not going to say anything to his father – he doesn't need the big bucks, he has jas ! and a job in tech. still, louis knows that his relationship with his father might be fragile, but it IS healing. he might not have texted yet today, but : " the other day, he texted to ask how my day went. even used an emoji, by the way, " it's an insignificant update, but he'd liked it and he knows jas will care to hear about it, regardless of how small. " i didn't even know he knew what those were. " he doesn't think his dad is the type to use emojis, so it's more a sign that his dad is really trying than anything else. " yeah, we can call it a tie, " he agrees. " for now, i suppose, " he adds with a grin. but it's true that he does feel like they've both won in a way, because they're both really happy. " i think if your tear ducts produce tears, it's crying ! i guess if not one single tear comes out of your eyes it's just...about to cry or your eyes are watering, but...see, i don't know what i ever did to them! your tear ducts, i mean, " he laughs, though at this point he supposes it's a lot better than no reaction because he's used to jas being so expressive and it's something that he loves about her. it also might be something that he needs, because she always makes him feel so secure in the relationship. she wears all her emotions on her face around him, and louis doesn't think he could really be with someone that was stoic or unemotional because he'd always feel insecure about where he stood. jas is so naturally good at never leaving him any room to wonder. he's a bit lost in her kiss for a while, lips pressed to hers unable to think about anything else. so much so that it takes him a while to process her question – or to even realize she's asked something. " oh, what ? " he falters, " just...conscious of making the most of them like this, you know... " he trails off with a little smile before he leans in to kiss her yet again. that's intentional how.

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​

she makes a face, as if she doesn’t know what he’s saying, because it was a funny way of phrasing it. “you would know more about what the placement of the sun in the sky means than most people,” she teases, knowing that’s not what he meant, but it’s true! “not even,” she says softly, reaching over to fix some of his bedhead, though she thinks it looks ridiculously cute as is. “you’re one of us now. i’m sure my dad’s always wanted a son.” jas is sporty, and her sisters are fairly athletic themselves, so it wasn’t like he didn’t have children who would play hockey with him in the backyard. and louis isn’t the person to go to for that kind of thing, either, but she’s sure there’s certain male bonding activities she can’t do with her father. plus, her dad likes video games, which she’ll never be nearly as interested in as louis is. “you’re welcome,” she returns with a smile before finding his hand and slipping her fingers through his. “i’m not going to force you! anyway, i like your underwear now.” in case that’s something he’s ever even once remotely wondered about. “sweet people don’t try to be sweet, they just are. like you….cutest, sweetest, best boy.” she says the ending in a rush as if he’ll somehow not notice the compliments. jas exhales with a smile, eyes flitting up to meet his. “i love when you do that.” most girls do, more people even, but she really likes it so she wants to make sure he knows. “and so what! it’s christmas, louis! but fine, we can skip the drizzle. the maple syrup is non-negotiable, and i just won’t put a ton of marshmallows in it.”

– “I GUESS SO,” HE LAUGHS, “ though that’s not what i meant, but...you also know that i am completely incapable of arguing with you. ” louis scruches up his facial features as she fixes his hair, but he’s smiling by the end of it. “ does it look better ? ” he asks her, though he shakes his head as if he’s shaking off the tidiness like a dog drying itself off. “ i don’t know what he’d want a son for when he’s got so many great daughters, but i won’t complain. i’m...well, i’m really happy that he’s been so welcoming – everyone has, about being part of the family. i’ve never really...well, you know i’ve never really had anything like this before, christmas mornings with a family and all, so i feel even more lucky to be part of yours, mainly because it feels so perfect for me, ” mainly she feels perfect for him, but he likes her family a lot, too and it feels really nice to be somewhere for the holidays that he feels like he belongs. “ oh, come on, now you’re just being excessive,” he laughs, kissing her cheeks three times, one for each compliment. “ alright, ” he finally gets out of bed after kissing her lips one last time, holding out his hand to her, “ let’s go make some ridiculously sweet hot chocolates, then. ” 

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​

“i doubt you’d want to finally see it after i’ve graduated!” jas knows she’ll return to gallagher for future graduations, but otherwise, she doesn’t plan on coming back often or lingering in campus buildings. “and the first super moon of the year is a pretty big deal,” she says with a grin, half sarcastic, because naturally the big big event of the day is the fact that they’ve been together for a year now and she thinks it’s a good sign that it’s gone by so quickly that she can hardly fathom how 365 days have flown by already. “they do make some pretty cozy double sized ones,” she comments, because she had considered it, and there was something nice about the quaintness of some sleeping bags and maybe a couple of lanterns, but since she’s her, she couldn’t leave it at something so simple when this is an IMPORTANT moment to her. on future anniversaries, she’ll be more lowkey, but this is the first of what she hopes to be many so there’s an extra kind of importance on the date. “besides, i know that already.” she takes his hand to lead him over, swinging her arm a little as she goes. “if you feel that way about the set up, you’re gonna hate my gifts.” plural, big surprise!

– “IT’S TRUE, I GUESS THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE,” LOUIS LAUGHS, because he has no intentions of coming back to campus when jas isn’t there – most of his friends won’t be there either, so there will be no real reason to come back. however, he is a little speechless when he arrives, eyes trained up at the sky for a moment, breathless. it is the best view on campus. “ yeah, other than that, it’s just any other normal day, huh ? ” he says with a teasing smile on his face, because obviously it isn’t. louis knows that in the past, they’ve defined their one year differently – jas says their first date, when they kissed, and he’s argued that it’s later than that, when they officially started dating...she’s let him win out today, and he’s glad for it – though both times mark a point where he had the courage to act on his feelings and was rewarded with the confirmation that she felt exactly the same way. “ i’m kind of worried i’ll get sweaty, so it’s probably for the best, ” he says. “ okay, well, i just thought i should say it, ” he says, a lightness in his step as he walks with her. it’s amazing to him to think about how far that they’ve come in a year, genuinely how NERVOUS he was to kiss her that first night on the roof, but he knew that it was the right moment and that he’d regret it forever if he didn’t. perhaps that was the first step to trusting himself a little more, because he acted on an instinct, and since then...things have been perfect. he’s no longer the guy that things just don’t work out for, because they do. “ giftS ? ” he emphasizes the plural, eyebrows raised before he breaks into a smile, “ you’ve seen the size of my apartment, jas michaud. ” it’s not exactly large, and next year he’s got a whole new person to fit. “ but i did expect this. i got you something, too. ” 

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​

she purses her lips in an approximation of a sad smile, because she doesn’t think he’s fine, and the reason she’d asked was because she cares more about his feelings than hers. but she’d assured him she was okay first, knowing the sentiment goes both ways. jas links her hands behind his back and leans away just slightly to get a better look at him. it sounds corny, but she does feel infinitely better when her arms are around him. “because you’re worried about me,” she answers gently. “i knew you would be.” jas worrying about him, or caring about him, had led to the video in the first place and there’s nothing that could convince her that what she did was wrong, only that it was perhaps not great to break into the sublevels. jas hadn’t been the one to stab cecil. “it didn’t make me look that bad, i’m not…ashamed of what i did.” she’d do it again, not that she’d say that to louis, plus he already knows her feelings on the subject. “i feel worse for everyone else involved. and i feel like…well, i didn’t tell you who else was there because it wasn’t my choice to make, but part of me is kind of glad it’s out so the decision is out of my hands.” jas, personally, has always been willing to deal with the consequences of her actions. she slides her palm down one of his arms to grab his hand. “yes. but the pollen count is pretty high, i’m not sure if we should go to one of the gardens or not. we could just walk?” the most important aspect was him, so she wasn’t picky about where they went.

– “I’M NOT HERE TO TALK ABOUT ME, JAS,” louis says, concern present in his voice, because ‘fine’ is such a vague word anyway and all things considered, he really IS fine. he’s here with her, after all, and they’re not in any immediate danger. however, for someone who always drives five under, he drove a little over the speed limit on his way here because he couldn’t stop thinking about her and how much he needed to be there, that he wouldn’t feel even CLOSE to fine until they were standing like this with her arms around him. she’s the one who has to stay on campus with peers that watched it, made judgements about her because of it ; he doesn’t think he can make this about him, it wouldn’t feel right. “ i know you aren’t, ” though he still thinks that maybe she should be, a tiny bit, because it was a man who was already in custody. “ and honestly, i don’t really care who else was there any more, or...even in the first place, though i am glad that you didn’t go down there ALONE. that’s probably the extent of which i care about it, though, because none of those other people are my girlfriend, who i love very much and know that she went down there for me. ” he supposes this was something that was always possible, but he also thinks that it is a moment that shouldn’t have been caught on tape – as much as he doesn’t like cecil, the fact that now the entire student body had access to watch him in his last moments seems gross and disrespectful to the dead. it makes louis feel even more guilty for what happened, and naturally only he would be worried about disrespecting the person who tried to kill him in the first place. “ and regardless...it doesn’t make me feel good. that video shouldn’t have become public, i mean, i care more because you’re in it, but...period. ” teeth drag across his lower lip for a moment, squeezes her hand lightly because it feels like the only thing that can ground his clouded thoughts. “ yeah. just walking sounds nice. ” 

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​

predictably, jas had suggested (instructed, maybe) that louis catch up with people while she got the astronomy tower ready for their sleepover. thankfully, most students at gallagher don’t care about the universe or pink super moons, so she isn’t concerned about taking over the building for one night. especially since she’d LOVE to get off campus for her anniversary, but it’s not allowed! she’d texted louis that she was done getting ready: picture this but with more pillows and some cushions so they can lay down comfortably. there’s a bottle of champagne she’d stolen from the last ppc party, that’s been living under her bed but is now sitting in a cute ice bucket she bought on etsy. her framed gift is wrapped and a ribbon holds together a large stack of letters on the small foldable wooden table surrounded by pillows to sit on. jas can’t exactly blindfold louis while walking upstairs so instead she just does a little flourish when his head pokes up from the staircase. “i tried to think of something pretty but practical, like better than a sleeping bag but less than a mattress.” she closes the distance between them to give him a swift kiss to the lips, then smiles nervously. “do you like it?” / @princessleialover69​

– WHEN JAS SUGGESTS HE GET LOST, he knows she’s up to something because usually, they’re pretty well-attached whenever he comes to visit. still, it’s a good excuse to go catch up with kass, who just accepted a job in his department after graduation ( he may have talked her up quite a bit ) but he’s still thinking of jas in the back of his mind for the entirety of it. they haven’t talked much about graduation or what comes next in explicit terms, only a vague plan that she’d move in with him after graduation and find a job in d.c. “ the astronomy tower, i never would have guessed, ” he laughs lightly, but it’s actually the perfect night all things considered ; because louis loves stargazing, all things astronomy and space, and...jas likes things that are pink ? okay, and she’s also pretty tapped into the goings-on of the night sky with all they’ve talked about it. still, it’s a nice collection of combined interests, like the universe teamed up for them today to do all it could to make this one perfect. “ i’ve got nothing against sleeping bags, ” he says, returning her kiss. louis doesn’t know why he’s shocked that she’s gone to such an effort or that it looks so beautiful, but he revels in it, never wants there to be a point where he’s too used to this or it just becomes expected. “ but this is perfect. i...feel like i should tell you that you didn’t have to do all of this, but i’m probably starting to sound like a broken record at this point. thank you. ” 

[princessleialover69]

jasminemichaud​

“perfect timing, even!” she perks up, moving closer so she’s almost in his lap. to jas, thinking about louis and the existence of louis is synonymous with wanting to be closer to him, to fully embrace and appreciate the fact that he’s such an important part of her life. “i won’t argue with that, because i’m glad you feel that way.” she’d hate to think, or sometimes does hate to think, that louis doesn’t entirely love who he is or the life he has, though she knows he’s the happiest he’s ever been and she’s determined to make sure he always feels that way. “but…maybe secretly i think i’m actually the biggest winner.” she smiles softly and runs her hand through his hair before leaning over to kiss his forehead. “and i get to make you feel things,” she counters, clearly not arguing her side but just pointing out that they both benefit from one another, which isn’t news. jas absent-mindedly plays with the hair at the nape of his neck, laughing at his comment. “i probably will! but i’m trying really hard not to. i don’t want you to think i always have to cry when i talk about everything you mean to me. i think…inevitably, i’ll get used to it eventually. but it’s still sinking in.” it’s so striking how even someone like her could be so continually shocked by how much love she can have for one person, because she’s always known herself to be an exceptionally loving person, but louis brings it out in a different form. “i didn’t! i just know a lot of foreign expressions. and you make me think about some of them all the time.” it’s really, well, fascinating, meeting someone who finally makes her feel all those indefinable feelings that there’s no english equivalent for. “i’ll always worry a little, just like you will. and we’ll both wish the other would stop but we know we won’t! but good.” she crawls into his lap properly, folding her legs in and tightening her hold around him. “i wish there were more hours in the day, but only specifically for moments like this.”

– “GREAT, I WILL RELAY THE MESSAGE TO MY FATHER,” HE SAYS IN JEST, knowing damn well that he won’t. but he’s pretty sure that she knows that anyways. his dad actually hasn’t even texted yet, but louis isn’t surprised ; he’s not sure if his dad remembers, it’s not like he’s ever been present for his other birthdays and louis is trying to remember if he and his dad have ever talked about it. maybe he doesn’t even know the day he was born. ( realistically, of course his father is aware, and has probably spent hours trying to figure out the proper way to contact louis because louis’s dad’s social skills are egregious, but he also spent like fifteen years in hiding and not talking to people. ) “ can’t we both be the biggest winners ? ” louis argues, turning to fully and leaning in to kiss her because it is his birthday and he thinks he should be allowed ; to get lost in her a moment, to hold her impossibly close and as much as he likes a big speech, he certainly likes when they don’t talk at all. it’s impossible for him not to be thankful for his birthday on a day like today when he has a girlfriend that makes him so happy to be able to celebrate it. “ i know that they’re happy tears, but there’s definitely something inside of me that panics every time you cry because of me, ” he says this lightheartedly, laughter on his lips, “ so, maybe by the time i get used to it will be the time that you get used to it, wouldn’t that be an irony ? ” he says, brushing the hair away from her face. it’s not surprising that she knows so much, of course, because she’s exceptionally smart and it is her area of expertise, “ well, thank you for telling me about it. sometimes it’s pretty hard for me to find the words to express that i feel the exact same way. ” he’s not sure there’s any earthly equivalent for it, but he appreciates the quest for trying. “ that just means we’ve got to be intentional about making the most of the ones that we’ve got. ”