Keni

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
DEAR READER
$LAYYYTER
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

shark vs the universe
No title available
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@princesssroxy-blog
boy sexting me: this dick would look so good in your pretty little mouth you'd like that huh
me, eating a bowl of cereal while my hair dries: yes daddy I want it so bad
HOW DO YOU KILL YOURSELF WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING TO DO THE KILLING PART YOURSELF
This is also from 2016. It’s unfinished.
I love you and I’m afraid of you, and that is a terrifying combination.
I was 5 and you took me to ride my favorite pony. His name was Freckles. And then later we had a campfire, I sat on your lap, and you played that silly marshmallow game. I’m sure I was laughing and smiling all night long. You were human and I loved you.
I was 6 and too afraid to sleep in my own room. I didn’t know what the scary noises were downstairs, so I went to ask you. But you weren’t there. Mom wouldn’t tell me where you were, nor would she tell me what the loud noises were coming from.
I was 7 and you taught me that nowhere was safe. You taught me that I had no voice and that tears didn’t mean anything. You taught me about compliance, to hold still, and that the only way to end it was to wait until you were finished.
I was 8 and things kept turning up broken without explanation. First there was a window. And then a hole in the wall, missing toys, and even the hammock outside you knew my sister loved so much. But on Christmas you gave us everything we could ever want.
I was 9 and they finally, finally told me you were Bad as we raced out of the garage and down the street. I bawled and clung to my stuffed cat, the only belonging I was able to grab. We were gone for two weeks at a place full of cockroaches and broken people. I didn’t know that’s what the world was. When we finally went home you were gone. But now I knew it was right to be afraid of you. I went back to school to a desk piled high with papers from missed activities, and everyone asked where I was. I told them we went on a vacation.
I was 10 and you showed up out of nowhere. I watched my brother grow up in a single moment when he risked himself to protect the rest of us.
I was 11 and we were ordered to see you every other weekend. You had a beautiful new house. But I didn’t trust you, and I couldn’t breathe.
I was 12 and I started to understand. But I was the problem now because I was moody and depressed and not so pleasant to be around. I “used to be so sweet”.
I was 13 and spent the weekends at your place obsessing over calories while you disappeared at random to come back with pinpoint pupils and a new personality.
I was 14 and fuck no I wasn’t going back there. But my little sister still had to, and to this day I can’t forgive myself for leaving her alone.
I was 15 and started to notice the ripple effect you had caused. Everyone around me was falling apart and there was nothing I could do about it.
I was 16 and discovered how to get attention from men. I took it and ran with it and suddenly I had a little self-esteem and confidence. I no longer needed you. But I was silly and naïve and my heart got broken in 100 different ways.
I’m going over some old writing I had saved on my computer. I wrote this in May 2016. I like it.
Untitled
Heavy handed limit-cracking physical and emotional sadism
vs
Trembling, blushing, wide-eyed hypervigilant mess of a little girl too desperate for your acceptance
In this moment, submission is not a question left up in the air or a choice It is forced
"Are you scared?"
You leave your marks lies leave your lips and you leave my presence
You take my heart and my self-respect as souvenirs and trophies and mount them on your wall, cracking a smug grin
I am left empty, disposable, used up my souvenirs are pangs of soreness that keep me from forgetting you
for you ♡
---
Hot dog. What a babe.
Hey! I just wanted to say, you are so cute 🙈🙈 and I absolutely love your blog!
That’s super sweet, thank you!
My kinks include:
• choking • keep choking me • literally just end my life
I am so, so very sad and anxious and dying and my head has been hurting for about a month aaaaaaaaaand probably nothing is gonna make it better yay
A brief guide to anal for the submissive girl
I am not the last authority on anal sex, and there are great guides out there. But my first blog request was to talk about this subject, particularly for a submissive girl trying to navigate it with a dom who may lack experience, attention to detail, or simple consideration. And trust me girls, age is no guarantee of any of those traits. So here goes!
So you are thinking of letting your dom have your ass but you are worried because anal seems like a game of Jumanji, thrilling but with a new danger at every turn. This blog will guide you through each step and give you better information you can use to decide if this is the right choice for you.
Deciding if this is the right partner: Does the idea of anal make you feel vulnerable? It should! Skip to the end of this blog and read about potential problems if you aren’t already feeling cautious. Given the vulnerable position you will be putting yourself in, ask some key questions: Is this dom trustworthy, who pays attention to signs of distress? Who has more speeds than only “jackhammer”? Who will show physical and emotional sensitivity if things don’t go as planned? If you have any concerns about any of these issues, consider them warning flags. My own attraction to D/s is the trust (and trustworthiness) involved, so these flags apply to the relationship as a whole as far as I am concerned. But you be you, just don’t downplay the vulnerability of anal sex and choose wisely who you give your ass to.
Finding acceptance in your body and mind: One of the greatest challenges as an anal beginner is the battle with your own body and mind. They are naturally protective of all that sensitive tissue that is your ass, and the obvious defense mechanism is to tighten. Ironically, that instinct only increases the chance that anal will be painful and potentially harmful. So how do you relax? The first step is thinking through the act itself and giving yourself permission to do it. We often carry ideas of what is right and wrong. The only thing that is inherently wrong about anal are the effects on you if you do it incorrectly! If you truly do want to try, make sure you spend some time reassuring yourself that it’s ok. In addition to reassuring your mind, you will need to retrain your body from its natural tendency to tighten up. Start with ass play that doesn’t involve penetration. When you are already feeling sexy, explore the sensation of touching the outer part of your asshole. Then explore penetration in small and slow ways, like a finger or a small butt plug used with a gentle touch. As you advance in your anal training you can try more of that finger, or more than one. Larger butt plugs are also a great way to get used to the act of anal penetration.
Keeping it clean: Let’s be real. Shit happens. Most of us will want to avoid any sort of mess, and there are some great ways to do that. First, eat a high fiber diet for a full day or two leading up to anal. Then the day of, give yourself a good cleaning. I could not possibly describe that process better than BlindJaw does in his illustrated guide to anal cleaning, found here: https://twitter.com/BlindJaw. His fast version is likely to be sufficient for beginners.
Lubricating yourself: Then there is lube. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of a good lube job. Your ass does not lubricate itself, and all of the tissue involved is fragile. What lube to use? Your own juices can be sexy, but they lack the staying power of artificial lubes. The same is true of spit. Most artificial lubes are water-based. These may get you started but the water content will decline through evaporation and absorption, leaving a sticky and non-functional residue. Silicone-based lubes last much longer and maintain a high degree of slipperiness and so are recommended. However, their extreme longevity makes for more of a mess to clean up after (use lots of soap and warm water).
One other option is coconut oil (my favorite lube of all time), which is long-lasting and slippery, although not quite to the extent of silicone-based lubes (which actually makes cleanup easier). It has the added benefit of being anti-septic, although this is not necessarily a universal good. Your body has natural bacterial communities, which might get disrupted by coconut oil. However, I personally know of several people who have used coconut oil to cure persistent yeast infections and maintain health. Want to try it? I recommend you do, but start slow and monitor yourself. You may love it or hate it. Coconut oil does have two important downsides to consider: allergies and latex-degradation. Although rare, it is possible to have an allergy to coconuts. This is not the same as an allergy to tree nuts, such as peanuts, so don’t let that discourage you (but perhaps start with extra caution if you have any known food allergies). Also, coconut oil can degrade latex, which may increase the chance of breaking a latex condom and wearing out certain rubber-based toys (although in my experience toys fare fine with exposure to coconut oil, although I consistently buy quality-made toys and clean them right after use). If these things are a concern, don’t hesitate to use another lube, use a non-latex condom, or use a condom of any variety on your potentially-vulnerable toys.
Before leaving the crucial subject of lube, also consider a “lubricant launcher,” which is a tool that gets lube farther up inside you than a finger would. Considering how sensitive those inner tissues are, this is a really useful step and only costs about $10. Note, however, that to use coconut oil and the launcher, you are going to have to make sure it is melted.
Getting it in: You’ve decided this is the right partner, you’ve worked on body and mind acceptance, you’ve cleaned, and you’ve lubed…now how are you going to get that big thing in there? Don’t worry, even the daintiest of girls has a highly elastic butthole and so it is possible. But how to avoid damage and make it as pleasurable as possible? First, take it slow. Start the session with ass play that doesn’t involve penetration, throw in a clitoral orgasm or several as you work larger things inside your ass, and communicate the whole time to make sure it’s feeling ok. If you can’t relax, you need to stop and restart more slowly. Continuing on while clenching will only further the pain and do more damage. A great way to start the full anal penetration is to ride your dom. Being on top gives you control of the speed and depth and can make a huge difference in your ability to relax and enjoy it. Does being in control just not feel right? Try asking in your most persuasive voice if you can pretty please sit your tight ass down on that cock. And on the subject of taking charge, for goodness sake, persuade your dom to use a condom. The fragility of anal tissue increases the likelihood of transmission of most STIs, and switching condoms when switching holes can dramatically reduce the chance of a yeast infection.
Preventing and tackling problems: On the subject of yeast infections, a cardinal rule of sex is to clean everything that’s been in your ass thoroughly before switching to another orifice. Don’t believe porn: the actors face risks but also spend days in preparation, more than you are likely to devote, and some of the footage is tricks of camera angle anyway. For real life sex, there should be no ass-to-anything without cleanup, and switching condoms is part of that process. Anal sex without a condom is also an infection risk for your male partner. Bacteria can travel up our urethra and turn into a lingering infection in our epididymis, a tightly coiled tube that sits on top of our testicles and stores and concentrates sperm.
Other potential problems come from the sheer impact of anal sex. On the milder side, anal can lead to fissures, or small tears in your inner tissues. When you have a fissure it will bleed a small amount and may be sore for several days, more so after you go to the bathroom. In the event of a fissure, give it plenty of time to heal, at least a couple of weeks although it can actually take a couple of months in some cases. If the bleeding is more than minor (for example, bleeding that doesn’t stop or is accompanied by lots of lower abdominal pain), it’s time to get to an ER.
In case you still don’t feel the need to be extra careful with anal, consider long-term conditions that can develop: hemorrhoids, incontinence, even prolapse. For more information on these conditions, check out this well written blog: http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/anal-protrusion-after-anal-sex and then see your doctor.
Now that you know what you are getting yourself into, is anal right for you? If so, follow the information in this blog to make it a great experience.
A Two Way Street
(inspiration: a post by concapx)
If you want a woman that serves
You have to be a man that works
If you want a woman that follows
You have to be a man that leads
If you want a woman that truly submits
You need to be a man that cultivates and inspires her trust
She will dedicate herself 100% to her role, but you have to also
You cannot decide to do your part when it is convenient and neglect her when it’s not
She sacrifices a lot for you
She deserves the same in return
Squirting: the why and the how
Female ejaculation, also known as squirting, is a subject of recent controversy. Many women claim to be squirters, and some fascinating scientific evidence has emerged to explain this phenomenon. However, other women and some researchers claim that squirting is just a porn industry construct, or just peeing. Both sides claim to be shocked by the other, but the real shock should come from our pitiful lack of understanding of the most basic aspects of female human sexuality. When it comes to squrirting, we have clear answers, some of which have been around for a long time but were lost in scientific journals. Let’s review the facts:
Squirting happens—Numerous women expel fluid when they orgasm, including more than one of my own past partners. This fluid is clear, slippery, and does not smell of urine. The phenomenon is not newly discovered. In the past, it has been associated with shame of the “you just peed’ variety. It’s time to put that behind us.
Chemically-speaking, squirt is not pee—In 2001, Dr. Schubach examined the chemical makeup of squirt and found that it was different from urine. In particular, the concentrations of two waste components of urine, urea and creatine, were “greatly reduced” in female ejaculate. In 2007, a group of scientists led by none other than Dr. Wimpissinger studied the chemical makeup of squirt in greater detail and found significant levels of compounds normally associated with the prostate gland, which is responsible for producing most of the fluid that makes up semen. Even the 2015 study led by Salama, the one that claimed squirting is peeing, found that the expelled fluid differed chemically from urine in most of their subjects. The composition of squirt suggests that the Skene’s gland, which is generally believed to be the female-equivalent of a prostate, is likely to be involved. Researchers as far back as the 1970s (Drs. Sevely and Bennett) recognized the connection between this gland and female ejaculation. They also cited similar suggestions made in the seventeenth century by de Graaf. How are we still debating this issue today?
Squirting uses some of the same anatomical structures as peeing—For some reason, many people, scientists and non-scientists alike, feel that squirting can’t be a valid independent phenomenon unless it comes from anatomical structures distinct from peeing. It turns out, that isn’t the case. The 2001 Schubach study had brave women masturbate and squirt while equipped with catheters that isolated what came out of their bladders from elsewhere. Schubach found that squirt did come out of their bladders, even though the women had peed just prior to their participation in the study. The controversial 2015 study used ultrasound to examine women’s bladders before, during, and after squirting. They got similar results. Their subjects showed rapid fluid buildup in their bladders during masturbation, followed by evacuation during squirting. Where does this fluid come from? Urine builds up slowly in the bladder so it’s not a likely factor. One study studied two groups of women, ones who squirted and ones who did not. In a fascinating finding, the researchers showed that the women who did not squirt had bladders full of fluid whose chemical composition was that of squirt, not pee. The most plausible explanation of all of this evidence is that the Skene’s gland, which is small in most women, produces more fluid than it can hold. The overflow travels through the urethra to the bladder.
So, is squirt really pee? If you still think so, you are using some pretty twisted logic. That logic goes like this—well, it came from her pee hole and involved her bladder. Therefore it must be pee. If we applied the same standard to men, we’d argue that men pee when they ejaculate. It comes from the same tubing, right? Better logic leads us to the opposite conclusion. Squirt is chemically distinct from urine. Therefore it is not pee.
How to squirt—There is no simple formula for female ejaculation and a lot of misinformation based on partial understanding. If you are a squirter or want to develop this skill, get some towels and find a comfortable environment. Feeling anxious about the idea of peeing? Pee first. If you are still worried, you can explore your body in the tub after drawing a bath to keep you warm but shallow enough not to obstruct your squirt. However you do it, don’t let repressed and judgmental scientists or reporters hold you back. The science confirms what you already know. Your ejaculate is real, sexy, and fun.
Next to the belief that squirting isn’t real, the second most counterproductive piece of misinformation is that a mechanical technique is all that is necessary. I am sure you have come across text and video guides that basically treat squirting like milking a cow. Do the right motion with your fingers and voila! This perspective misses what is undoubtedly the most important part of female ejaculation: you have to be turned on first. This same logic applies to making G-spot stimulation pleasurable. Has it not been in the past and you have written it off? It may be that your previous explorations lacked proper foreplay. So, before anything else, take some time to get yourself in the mood and warm up your body. Don’t even start to think about squirting until you are worked up and feel an orgasm building.
At that point, do the G-spot gesture. Put a finger or two in your vagina, fingertips facing the front wall, and move them in a ‘come hither’ motion. If you are like most women and have a Skene’s gland, you should actually feel it as a small swollen mass, not unlike what you can feel in your neck when you are fighting off a virus. Gently explore this area. How big is it? The gland and surrounding tissue can be as small as a pea or nearly as large as a golfball. How does it feel to press on it directly? To put a finger on either side and gently squeeze it? Try exploring with a toy—my favorite for Skene’s gland exploration is a cheap and modest dildo called Don Wand Bent Graduate Glass Pleasure Wand. Most women find these sensations pleasurable after sufficient foreplay, which is why the G-spot has its vaunted reputation. More than likely, this exploration will turn you on further but don’t neglect your clit. Your goal here is to reach orgasm and most women find clit stimulation is essential. However, as you work towards orgasm while stimulating your Skene’s gland, you may start to feel a sensation as if you are about to pee. This is that squirt building up, and the pressure you are putting on your gland with your fingers or toys will make it feel hard to control. Here is what is actually the most difficult part of squirting for most women: letting go amidst this sensation. It’s ok, though. You peed before this play session and what will come out of you will be squirt, not urine. Plus you have your towels there to contain the puddle and make for easy cleanup. So relax and let your body do what it’s going to do. This is when the mechanical technique can make a difference. I can use my strong hands to literally force the fluid out of you but that’s really not necessary. You can have the same result by just letting go. However, sometimes it can help to have some assistance to ‘make’ you squirt a few times to help you be more comfortable with the sensation and the act of release.
Now that I have shared my secrets and my scientific research with you, I ask this: tell me how it worked!
Trust
The best asset any relationship can have is trust. This is truer for romantic/sexual relationships where we tend to make ourselves more vulnerable. It is even truer still for D/s relationships because of the very real vulnerabilities involved, both emotional and physical.
However, we each have our own styles of intimacy, of navigating that dance of opening up and withdrawing, of exploring whether this potential partner is worthy of our trust and true vulnerability. Some people can throw themselves into a D/s relationship without feeling very emotionally vulnerable, while others can’t do that without opening up emotionally too.
And subs might be surprised to hear that Doms experience emotional vulnerability too. I put a lot of effort into leading in directions I feel confident a sub wants to go. If I find that I took a wrong path and my sub didn’t give me an indication of that, I am very hard on myself when I learn she didn’t enjoy the experience.
I have to say that my favorite part of a D/s relationship is feeling someone’s trust in me, and so I tend to take things slowly and make a point of prioritizing my trustworthiness over any sort of instant gratification. But clearly not everyone is like me.
All of us should watch for warning signs: of potential non-consensual behavior and lack of full respect for hard limits. But those of us who get emotionally involved have to watch out for emotional abuse, which can be an issue in vanilla and D/s relationships. If you are that type, I encourage you to go slow. Give yourself a chance to get to know a potential partner before allowing yourself to get too attached. Wait on more intense experiences until you have established a foundation of trust and good communication. Withdraw, at least a bit, at early warning signs. I have come to know myself well enough to realize it typically takes a solid 6 months of regular interaction and at least one big fight before I feel I am truly seeing a partner. During that time, I will enjoy them and make genuine effort to grow a relationship. But I also remind myself that I’m still getting to know them, try to avoid feeling too attached, and ask myself if they are giving me reasons for concern.
Hello again
I seem to have found my way back here, with a new name. If anything this will probably just turn into a personal blog.