Biggest parts of BPD
so this isn’t exact or maybe your symptoms aren’t the same but, I have BPD and this is what I expierence BPD.
• Abandonment
What’s there to say about abandonment? This is actually very common, a lot of people have fear of abandonment, however, people with BPD tend to think about this 24/7. We are completely convinced that whoever comes into our life will leave and do you spend your days preparing yourself for it, you’ll spend years. You won’t stop preparing even though if someone does leave from your life you are thrown into shock. This leaves us with having zero trust for anyone.
• Splitting
Splitting is the act of splitting the world straight down the middle, you see things as black and white and that’s it. There’s good people and bad, that’s it. You don’t see people as people. People have flaws, mistakes, personalities but you don’t see that. You see they’re ether good or bad, ether they have zero flaws or a million.
• Behavior
Oh man. Okay, with people I have talked with and joined online groups with, people with BPD usually act out. People become aggressive; physically damaging themselves or what’s around them, starting fights. Or they can have emotional behavior which is meltdowns, flipping out over the littlest things, being manipulative without really being aware. And so on. Regardless, we slip into this other person and are completely unaware of what we’ve done until the storm is over.
• Relationships
A lot of people think there’s no point of even getting to know someone with BPD and I don’t blame them. For me, it’s awful. I’ve had to repair the relationships around me about a million times and I’m shocked they’ve stayed around after all the damage I’ve caused. It’s hard, some have worse cases than others.
• Self-esteem
Absolutely hating yourself, this is more than just hating how you look. This is about this personality disorder that feels like has taken over your whole body, it’s like you can’t find the core of yourself. This is about the guilt from splitting, the behavior, the thoughts, the relationships. This makes you hate yourself, HATE yourself. I could go on for hours about how self esteem plays a big part into this.
• Support
I’ll be honest and say I’ve seen about eleven therapists throughout the past four years. No one could figure out what was wrong, they came up with ptsd, depression, bipolar, anxiety and they gave medication. Medication doesn’t fix a personality disorder. I was officially diagnosed about two years ago and it took me until October to find actual help. BPD is a case people are still trying to bring up from under the rug. It’s awful trying to find help. DBT is all the support I suggest, DBT specialists, DBT group therapy or online communities (Reddit is amazing.)
Okay! I got a little covered, didn’t want this really long. Again, it’s most of what I experience and the communities I’ve talked to have experienced. This isn’t every case of BPD tho(:
