content::: 18+; men dni; angst, fluff, emotional baggage, mutual pining, love triangles, AU, no cordyceps outbreak, hurt ellie, hurt reader, unresolved emotional tension, emotional infidelity, everybody is hurt tbh, joel is ellie's parent, tommy is a paleontologist here please bear with me, POV alternating, grief/mourning, AFAB, joel lives, reader needs a hug, ellie needs a hug, dina needs a hug, everybody needs a hug, I need a hug, flashbacks, dreams vs. reality, friendship/love, unrequited love, it's sounding very much like my life i'm starting to get worried, i forgot the other things so i'm updating at some point, science, dubious science, math and science metaphors, yeah i guess that's it for now;
synopsis::: The population of Austin is about one million.
The chances of running into one specific person while both of you move randomly, like two particles in space, are around one in a hundred thousand. Running into them again the next day, under the same conditions, drops the chances to about one in ten billion.
But a third time?
It stops feeling like probability. Like a coincidence. Like a random collision between two bodies in motion.
It starts to feel like something else.
Like fate.
Because the odds of all this happening, and of you falling in love, can’t be solved like an equation. No formula can predict love.
Your dream always seemed simple. Graduate and work with what you love: fossils, paleontology, history, mystery. But under layers of pain and trauma, there is another dream, locked away so reality can’t break it again.
Love.
The kind people think only exists in fiction, not in real life. Because reality has a way of crushing beautiful things.
But life crosses paths just to remind you that nothing is really under control. Feelings can’t be calculated or predicted. Sometimes they just happen, like they were meant to.
In the form of green eyes and freckles that linger in your mind like dust.
synopsis: the worst thing about hope is how easily it disguises itself as possibility. ellie hears something that makes her question everything she thought she knew.
content warnings: kinda pervy ellie, suggestive content, ellie’s pov, informal style, loser!ellie, lowkey oblivious reader, obsessive themes, nerdy ellie, she is down bad, stalking? high school au (characters are eighteen). next part
entry: the planetarium incident continues to haunt me
it has been three days. THREE. and i am still thinking about her tying my shoelace. i wish i was joking. i wish i could tell you i've spent the last three days thinking about important things, like idk school maybe, my future? the inevitable heat death of the universe. But no. instead my brain keeps replaying the image of her crouching down in front of me, like girl PLEASE. lord have mercy. okay and of course she'd take care of me, remind me again why she isn't my girlfriend??? too many fucking reasons. It's messing me up, she always does stuff like that. and its always the little things that get me every single time… like d'you know she always brings me snacks along with her lunch, because she knows sometimes i forget? She also sends me notes when i'm sick (hand written ones i'm not that easy yes i am), she also texts me after every single one of my tests, to let me talk her head off about every detailed answer.
god.
and she remembers EVERYTHING.
i mentioned once that i liked those stupid astronaut ice cream things they sell at science museums, y'know those ones that are shaped like different space objects- you get it. i mentioned it ONCE. fucking months ago. this morning she just dropped it on my desk and kept walking right on to her class, shit she winked at me too, my nipples got hard immediately. so like she had to have gone all the way to the museum during her free period (i was in a class which is why i wasn't glued to her side), then come all the way back… just to get me some ice cream and not say anything. what on earth is the protocol. someone really needs to write a handbook.
entry: i stared at her for an entire class period
so later in class she sat by the window. the sun was right behind her so she looked all glowy and i spent most of biology trying not to stare. keyword: trying. i failed so, so miserably. and then she caught me, should've ended me honestly, except instead of looking weirded out she just smiled. again. SHE ALWAYS SMILES. why why why why why why why? every single time she smiles at me i feel like a bobblehead. idk the comparison makes sense to me, head empty. just wobbling around. i'm pathetic.
entry: concerning developments
i think she's gotten clingier. or maybe i've finally lost my mind. both options are possible, only one is believable. she showed up at my locker before first period, not unusual i guess. except she didn't actually need anything… she just stood there. talking. about nothing. and everything. some story about her weekend, her neighbour did something funny apparently, i can't remember my brain was spiraling cause i was so nervous and confused- just completely random stuff.
okaaayy so it it posible she just wanted to talk to me? yes or no yes or no yes or no. what the fuck is my fucking problem, this shouldn’t even be that big of a deal, and i'm almost one hundred percent sure she meant nothing by it. a girl can dream though…
hmmm but like she could've talked to anyone — not that i'm everrrr complaining, If her voice were a frequency, my mind would literally be tuned to it constantly — but there were people everywhere, and she chose to be leaning against the locker next to mine, talking to me for twenty minutes before class.
i'm very aware of how hella insane i sound at the moment (or always?), no one can ever read this they seriously won't understand, fuck i don't know. it felt nice.
entry: worst day of my life contender #47
i got paired with him. HIM. out of every person in the mother fucking class. out of the hundreds of students wandering around this school like confused livestock, i — the unlucky ellie williams — got paired with the one person i've been trying my hardest to avoid. Haven't i suffered enough already universe?
so there i was. sitting across from him (he’s not that good looking), trying to focus on the assignment. trying to act normal. trying not to think about how i've spent the last month secretly resenting a guy whose greatest crime is existing near a girl i like.
i was actually prepared to hate every second of it too. i sat down fully committed to being the least helpful project partner in recorded human history, not enough to get a bad grade though because unfortunately i care too much about school, but enough to make my displeasure known.
except this man had the fucking audacity to act like a decent guy, actually fuck off. i would've sooo preferred it if he was an asshole, because then i could've continued hating him totally guilt-free. instead he's just like an actual human being. i know shocker.
we were working for a while and then he asked how long i've known her and immediately my brain went into fight-or-flight response, keep my wifes name out yo mouth. The conversation was so unbareable, he actually knew her more than i thought he would. when he started talking, i was like okayy?? actually get the fuck outta my face right now. but turns out i'm a idiot, who's surprised at this point? not me.
apparently she tutors him in math.
math. apparently he's awful at math, he’s horrible. which i absolutely did not expect by the way — he looks like somebody who understands taxes. told me he begged her not to tell a soul cause he was embarrassed (I mean I would be too, except I’m great at math so), which explains EVERYTHING.
all those times i saw them together… after class, at luch, while i was sitting alone rotting from jealousy, they were doing algebra. yep. algebra. i was losing sleep over algebra. just took the idiot test and got a whopping 100% yayy. should we include that on my gravestone:
"here lies ellie. spent three weeks emotionally devastated by a quadratic equation." i still hate his ass.
As embarrassing as that whole thing was, it's not even half of what's occupying my mind now. because he mentioned that she talks about me a lot. and i laughed initially because obviously that's ridiculous. and he was like no, and that he really wanted to speak with me cause of it and blah blah blah.
then he started listing the things. stuff she'd allegedly said about me. how i'm funny, how i know random facts about everything, how i always pretend not to care when i actually care a lot (she knows me so well it’s scary). i have goosebumps all over my body writing this, cause this is literally exactly what he told me. I swear i can't fucking sleep i don't even know how to begin processing any of these emotions. all these feelings i have for her. she talks about me when i'm not there… like enough that somebody noticed. do you know how much you’d have to talk about someone for that to happen? it feels insane, god.
there's something weirdly intimate about that, not even in a romantic way. just... she thinks about me when i'm not around.
oof that's a dangerous piece of information for somebody like me to have, i already started being ellie about it, where i take one tiny thing and immediately start building entire civilizations out of it. i keep imagining her mentioning me in random conversations. the thought of that is making me feel weird. good weird. bad weird? definitely both.
DON'T FUCK UP YOUR FREINDSHIP WITH HER ELLIE !!
gahhh! and then the conversation got even worse cause his ass admitted he likes her — which yeah, obviously. join the fucking club. take a number we meet on thursdays.
it actually felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest having to sit there, listening to him describe all the reasons he likes her and i couldn't even disagree. every single thing he said was true. she does make people feel important. i hate how easy it is to love her, i really do.
he told me he doesn't think she likes him back. should've made me happy, and it kind of did. fuck am i a terrible person? he's literally in the exact same situation i'm in, i know how bad it hurts, trust me i KNOW. I just… selfishly felt relieved that she didn't want him. but then he said he thinks she likes someone else. thank you for giving me a whole four seconds to bask in it before pulling the rug from under my feet. very generous. so now i'm sitting there listening to this guy talk about how great the woman I’m in love with is, who apparently has been noticing things… like there was someone specific she likes. and he said she gets distracted sometimes. like lights up when she gets a text from, what looks like the luckiest person in the world from where I’m standing. while he was talking i just sat there nodding, pretending i didn’t want to crawl into a hole or gutter or something and die.
i haven't stopped thinking about that since. somebody else. some random guy probably. some nice normal guy with nice normal guy hobbies and functioning social skills.
not me.
definitely not me.
because i'm currently sitting here at 1:13 in the morning already four tear stained pages in of my diary fuckin' journal, because a girl i'm secretly in love with apparently talks about me when i'm not around. it's never fucking over is it.
and y'know what makes me geniunely the biggest pathetic loser? after allll that, spending hours listening to a guy rave about how amazing she is, hearing that she probably has feelings for someone else, and feeling like absolute garbage all because of this one woman.. she texted me asking if i wanted to bake cookies with her tomorrow, and I’ve already forgotten about all the pain. She’s my favorite notification — my favorite everything, actually.
i'm going to sleep now, and definitely not to reread all our texts first. unrequited final boss.
synopsis: ellie spends an entire evening trying not to read into things. spoiler alert! she fails horribly.
content warnings: kinda pervy ellie, suggestive content, ellie’s pov, informal style, loser!ellie, lowkey oblivious reader, obsessive themes, nerdy ellie, she is down bad, stalking? high school au (characters are eighteen), angst. next part
i think i might actually be the dumbest lesbian alive
okay so i got home yesterday and immediately rotted in bed for like four straight hours. As in full depression pose. face-down. shoes still on. didn’t even turn the lights off. because of the guy thing, we don't need a recap to ruin my very good mood rn.
so yeah. bed rot.
i think i fell asleep at some point because when i woke up my room was dark and my phone was vibrating itself into another dimension. fifteen missed calls. All from her. which immediately made me sit up so fast i almost headbutted the wall because WHAT. then more texts started coming in while i was squinting at the screen (reminder to go to creepy optometrist).
first she asked if i was okay.
then if i was asleep.
then if i was ignoring her on purpose.
then: ellie seriously answer me.
and then: look outside idiot
yes ma'am i am an idiot, and an idiot in love at that, because when i dragged myself to the window (looking like an actual corpse) THERE SHE WAS. standing outside my house. Yes physically outside. hands shoved in her pockets, rocking back and forth a little because it was cold, she's so adorable i literally forgot what i was depressed about hehe.
But real talk, i genuinely thought i was hallucinating for a second. Then she like waved at me and started talking and my mind was racing and my heart was in my ass, and she was beckoning me over, so ooobviously i ran downstairs immediately. i did make a small attempt at acting normal, lord knows i've already lost enough aura. Ended up almost falling down the last two steps, so... yeah.
Basically, couldn't get to the door fast enough. Ripped it open and oh. my. god. She’s always beautiful, but there was something about the way the tip of her nose turned all rosy from the cold that had me feeling like a moth writing love letters to a lighthouse.
First thing she did was ask if i was okay. which was already enough to make me feel insane because she CAME HERE. physically. because she noticed i was sad. i tried with the same dumb "i was just tired" excuse, that she definitely stopped buying by the fifth time i used it btw. Heh she called bullshit immediately, but she didn't look mad, just got this shimmer in her eye (yes her eyes shimmer and glow and sparkle), then said she wanted to take me somewhere. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Beginning to suspect i was not built for casual feelings.
and because i’m the easiest person alive when it comes to her no doubt, (proof is literally everywhere in this diary journal) i just said okay immediately. don't even need to ask any questions, and lowkey forgot i was trying to be nonchalant.
anyway she took me to the planetarium.
THE PLANETARIUM.
This is it, I've made it. she thinks of me outside of seeing me, and actually remembers what i like, there's absolutely no fucking way this is real. in fact i think it's far more probable that i accidentally stepped through a portal into another dimension, and this ellie gets everything she's ever dreamt about apparently. Whatever i'm not gonna fucking question it.
I'm definitely definitely not reading into anything but like… was this lowkey a date?? it was super dark and quiet inside and she sat really really close to me while all the stars were projected over the ceiling. i feel like a fucking thirteen year old girl i'm crushing on her soo bad, omg i could smell that coconuty shampoo she uses to wash her hair yummy. Wait did she was her hair before coming to see me? cause not to be creepy but i woulda clocked it immediately this morning (also i have her hair washing schedule memorised). Nope, bad ellie, not gonna read into anything.
I'm gonna pretend it was a date idc. at one point she leaned over and whispered some joke about me probably knowing more than the narrator and i was cheesing so bad i fuckin' snorted. The embarrassment i felt after that should’ve killed me instantly but she just giggled. What on earth are you doing to me.
After the show I was desperately trying to think of literally any excuse to keep hanging out with her, and by some insane cosmic miracle there was an ice cream truck parked right around the corner.
So I asked if she wanted anything and she goes:
“You know I could never say no to you.”
??????????
HUH????
Finally a win for Ellie!!! and it gets better (i know, what a day), my shoelace came untied while we were walking out and before i even noticed, my lovely wife girlfriend friend crouched down and tied it for me… ARGHH! i'm so delusional help.
idk i must've looked like i'd just been hit over the head with a shovel to her, and sounded like it too cause i started stuttering, even i don't know what i was attempting to say fuck. good job ellie. i'm such a loser.
I obviously insisted on walking her home cause if she gets kidnapped and they don't take me with her i'll die. kidding… kinda. Anywayy, we were talking and i was enjoying the sound of her melodic voice, and luckily was able to get a few sentences out, since a part of me felt guilty that she may have felt obligated to do this. Then she got all serious and she's cute when she's serious, and she was like she wanted too.
again with this “wanted to” shit.
this girl is going to kill me.
oh and she got me a keychain. At the gift shop, took my eyes off of her for literally two seconds to go pee and she bought me a gift. It’s this tiny little planetarium keychain with Saturn on it. The rings glow in the dark. So great, now every time I look at my keys I’m going to think about her orbiting my brain 24/7.
i really don’t understand why she cares about me this much. I know she's a sweetheart but sometimes she does things that feel way too thoughtful. idk like maybe she's paying attention to me in the same way i pay attention to her?? a girl can dream right.
If i let myself believe for even one second that she could maybe possibly feel even a fraction of what i feel for her—
nah.
nope.
not doing that to myself… ugh still though. She; came to my house alone of her free will, took me to my favourite place, tied my shoelaces (yes very important). And its's possible that maybe none of it means anything to her. But it means everything to me.
— e
series masterlist
a/n: I know it’s short, just didn’t wanna take forever to post a long chapter lol, but feedback is appreciated!!
synopsis: ellie's perfect little bubble of delusion is popped when a guy takes an interest in you. what makes it worse is that she's almost certain you like him back...
content warnings: kinda pervy ellie, suggestive content, ellie’s pov, informal style, loser!ellie, lowkey oblivious reader, obsessive themes, nerdy ellie, she is down bad, stalking? high school au (characters are eighteen), angst. next part
wednesday
i think i’m going to kill him with my mind. honestly, mentally I've done it a thousand times.
this guy from her math class kept talking to her after school today and i swear to god I've never hated another human being faster in my life. he was standing WAY too close too. leaning against her locker trying to act fucking nonchalant, I'm getting pissed off again.
and she was smiling at him. at. him. okay she was smiling. at. him. that's fine. whatever. logically i know that means nothing, and maybe i'm reading too much into things because she smiles at everybody (cause shes an angel). I mean thats why i fell in love with her hello, not even exaggerating, if heaven is real it was created for her. for a while i was convinced she was a figment of my imagination, theres just no other way to put it; she's perfect. she’s sweet to literally everyone. that’s part of the problem. why the fuck wouldn't he have a crush on her? and if i had the confidence, i would do exactly the same thing he's doing right now.
but yuck, watching him shoot his shot was almost like watching some nameless foot soldier trying to catch Helen's eye. a completely forgettable person trying to gain the attention of the woman whose beauty could launch a thousand ships.
he kept making her laugh. i bet his jokes were ass. just guy jokes. those stupid, unfunny, typical guy jokes where they think being loud counts as having a personality. and trust me i know, i was lurking down the hall pretending to look for something in my backpack while internally experiencing the emotional equivalent of a meteor impact.
and he’s so… guy-shaped.
like tall and broad and muscular. the kind of guy girls are supposed to like. And I'm… a girl. a girl who still can't think straight because her crush touched her wrist three days ago, who doesn't know if said crush also likes girls.
But he's just a basic guy.
what if she wants that. what if she likes him back and I’m just sitting here deluding myself, writing gay little diary entries while she ends up dating some mathlete with a penis and a jawline. i actually feel so sick thinking about it. like genuinely nauseous, this isn't okay in the slightest.
then — and this is what got REALLY irritated — he put his fucking hands on her. He touched her face i don't know what the fuck he was doing and i don't fucking care, what makes him think he can caress any part of her body or stand literally anywhere near her? tf?? this guy has gotta go.
i saw it happen real time slomo, and maybe your girl kinda possibly allegedly shed a tear or two. and then went home and shed many more. but this is all alleged i would never do that irl lol…
Anyway, back to reliving my personal hell. she didn’t move away. she just kept talking with it all polite and sweet because we've already established shes an angel. she probably doesn’t even realize when people are flirting with her. cause i've tried many- ok lemme not lie i've actually never had the courage so i can't make that argument sigh. but for my sanity and peace of mind i'm gonna say that she had absolutely no idea and was just being nice. right? help me.
To be real i wanted to walk over there so bad. not even to say anything coherent. just to stand next to her like, idk a jealous guard dog. maybe bite him a little. i didn't tho, since i was allegedly crying and, let's be real, it would have made it awkward.
i hate this. i hate jealousy. it makes me feel ugly and weird and possessive in this awful embarrassing way. she’s not mine. she can talk to whoever she wants. but the idea of her liking somebody else actually makes my chest hurt.
especially a GUY.
because what do i even compete with there?? he can probably flirt normally without looking like he’s about to throw up. he probably doesn’t spend hours analyzing every smile she gives him. he probably just says things and they come out cool and easy. oh and the lets not forget the most important one… you guessed it, he has a dick. he looks like one too.
how the actual fuck did i get myself into this fuckass dumbass stupidass situationnnnnnnn.
and he kept making her laugh. it keeps replaying in my head now. her tilting her head back, carefree and radient. He does not deserve to hear it. he shouldn't be standing there looking smug. should i kill him. i'm very much considering it now.
afterward when she came over to talk to me i (obviously) acted weird because i was still jealous and she noticed IMMEDIATELY. like one look at my face and started asking was asking if i was okay.
she looked genuinely concerned, there was this little frown on her face, i hate being the one to put that there, i don't want her worried about me, i want her to literally always be happy. i was just doing my hardest not to ask “do you wanna kiss him??” i just shrugged it off and said i was tired.
she didn't buy it, but she never pushes. said i should sleep more because i’ve been looking exhausted lately. Suddenly i felt even worse, because she's over here wanting the best for me, when all i've been doing the last twenty minutes is planning that guy’s (who she probably unfortunately likes) extinction.
god.
if she ever dates a man my soul will die.
friday
I didn’t immediately consider arson today so that’s progress. i hate that fucking guy, no i am not over it. she talked to him again though. briefly. just “hi” and some normal school thing blah blah blah, i had to stop myself from throwing up in the hallway.
did he do anything to me? no. Do i still hate him with every atom in my body? of course i do. you know what else i hate? i hate that i care this much. I am doing EVERYTHING i can to try and be normal about this ughh. i can't do it i can't i can't i can't. it probably would have been easier if i hadn't already chosen the floral arrangements for our wedding. how on earth do i get rid of this guy fuck.
she came and sat with me later and it was like my nervous system forgot how to be angry. she just… does that. she shows up and suddenly every problem i have feels distant and stupid.
she asked me if i was still thinking about the project or if i was just “staring into space again.” i said i was thinking. technically not a lie. just didn’t specify what about.
she laughed and said i do that a lot.
yeah. i do.
because you exist.
sunday
I can't sleep. i keep replaying every small thing she does.
like today she fixed my collar again without asking. just reached over, straightened it, she said i looked pretty. and then went back to her notes. y'know i really couldn't tell ya what happened after that cause i don't know. i don't even know what happened before she did that cause i no longer remember. hahahahahahahahahhahahafuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. um yeah i almost kissed her, i really really wanted too and i did lean in and like i think i said something along the lines of "you're even prettier" (ellie with the rizz? ik i shocked myself), and then she like, fuck she blushed she looked so irresistible annnnndthen the stupid bell rang and she ran away from me to go to the bathroom or sth. holy missed opportunity, i hate myself.
i think about her hands a lot. too much. also.
not in a platonic way, but yeah, it's like my brain has decided they are important information that must be constantly archived. and her voice. the way she says my name in this really simple way like bark, woof woof. it makes my stomach drop every time.
i try fantasising about what it would be like if she liked me. like actually actually liked me back. not just being freindly. it feels unrealistic. like thinking about dinosaurs still being alive or humans living on mars. possible in theory maybe but not in my life.
still. i keep thinking about it. what if she looked at me like i look at her. i don’t think i’d survive it. she's too good for me anyway.
tuesday
he was there again. Mr fucking wise guy with the loud obnoxious-ass voice.
he walked her to part of her locker area after class and they were talking and giggling, and i felt that horrible drop in my chest again like my body still hasn’t accepted reality. i tried to leave early so i didn’t have to see it but she saw me first and waved me over, like nothing is wrong. like i'm not wasting away on the inside because of her.
There's no way in hell i could ever ignore her so, against my better judgement, i went over to them. and she introduced me. casually. like “oh this is ellie, we’re working on a project together.”
just… this is ellie.
not “this is my friend ellie” or "this is the girl who i'm in a one sided homoerotic relationship with" or anything. just my name. that stung. he said hi. i think i said hi back. i don’t really remember because my brain was overheating.
then she turned to me and started talking about the project like normal and i just nodded along pretending i was a functioning human being while this guy stood there watching. it felt weird. like being replaced in real time, even though it's not like there was anything solid to replace apparently, so…
after he left she stayed with me for a bit and asked why i looked stressed. i almost told her. almost said, “because i think you might like him and i hate it.” she has no idea. she’s trying to make things easier without even knowing what’s wrong.
I'm writing this, rotting in my bed after doing literally nothing but crying all day. maybe i'll call her? idk what to do, but i need to know if i have even the slightest chance here. If i don't i'll have no choice but to move on. shit i don't want to think about that.
after ellie leaves, love settles into messages sent across time zones
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cw: long distance relationship, fluff, mild angst, fear of abandonment, yearning, suggestive texts.
part of bittersweet, but can be read as a standalone
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cele's note:
ok so tumblr decided to lock me out of my account for DAYS for absolutely no reason so while i was away i made this. ughhh i love them so much 😭
bittersweet was supposed to be just an one shot but the brainrot is getting worse and worse with each passing day... seriously i can't stop thinking abot them
here's a moodboard i made for bittersweet + this in case you want to check it out ♡ if you have any reqs about them pls send them my way...
p.s: this is full of grammatical mistakes okay !! let's just ignore them <3
———SYNOPSIS: You expected your job at guitar center to be nothing more than ordinary . . . You are quickly proven wrong when a girl in your science class—Ellie—makes a trip to the instrument shop daily, trying to make her burning crush on you as subtle as possible.
———NOTES: Yet another smau ^3^ I hope u guys enjoy this!!!!!!!!!
content :: mdni 18+ content ;; sexual themes, fluff, angst, comedy, forbidden romance, good old lesbian yearning (lots of it), rejection, cheating, infidelity, homophobia (both internalised and openly expressed), misogyny, closeted reader, single mom reader, loads and loads of judgment, religious themes, smoking + drinking + substance usage, afab reader ⸺ men dni, bullying, typical highschool drama, reader being an ass, modern au, songfic, multiple part fic,, will be updated if needed as i continue!
word count :: 13.9k ( ongoing )
synopsis :: you were never kind to ellie williams. it was easier that way.
easier than admitting why your pulse did what it did when she looked at you. easier than questioning what it meant. so when she finally said the words out loud, you said something cruel and walked away — back to the life that made sense, the boyfriend, the plan, the person you were supposed to be.
that was five years ago. the plan didn't survive contact with reality.
now it's just you, a baby who doesn't sleep, and a tuesday night that turns into something you weren't remotely prepared for — because there she is, on your television screen, under a blaze of stage lights, and fifty thousand people are screaming her name.
ellie williams, of all people. a star.
and somehow, you're going to have to face her... and her new girlfriend. lovely.
[ read here ] ⸺ it starts the way most disasters start: quietly, and in a school cafeteria. ellie williams has a problem. it isn't the bruises, or the skipped classes, or the journal she really should have held onto more carefully. it's the girl across the lunch hall — the one she can't stop looking at, the one who looks back like it costs her something, the one who is, by every reasonable measure, the worst possible person to feel this way about. she knows that. she has always known that. it doesn't seem to be helping.
girlfriend!ellie is so incredibly grabby whenever you fuck—not in a weird, possessive way, but because she just gets utterly entranced sometimes.
skin to skin is her goddamn thing. she’s sweet, genuinely. she’s got a nerdy side. and she also has a slutty side. of course she likes to fuck and feel good, and seeing her girlfriend get off? heaven on earth.
any part of you that can be touched? ellie’s hands are there. ellie’s lips are there. once in a relationship, she’s confident… meaning she’ll go for what she wants—which is you, obviously.
her fingers can frequently be found digging into the soft plush of your thighs, kneading at the swell of your tits, or grasping at your hips—holding and steering and guiding for more, more, more.
ellie also has the occasional habit of accidentally overstimulating you when she’s the one giving. purely because she gets utterly fixated on watching you. depending on the day, (okay, any day) she might (she does) just favor the sight of your pussy taking in her deft fingers over her favorite movie.
her hands are always quick to pry at your thighs, to palm over your knees, to slide around your waist… she’s touchy. in love. can you blame her?
