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probably-bad-fandom-ideas

Septimus: do you want the good news or the bad news first?

Marcia: good news

Septimus: it is very unlikely that I will ever, ever do it again

Marcia, arms crossed: Where were you last night?

Septimus, sweating: Um- at a party! Doing...teenage rebellion?

Marcia: Don't lie. You were at the library, weren't you?

#modern au where they don't have a library in the attic #septimus heap #marcia overstrand

Silas: *person responsible for it voice* I'm staying out of this one

#septimus heap #silas heap

Marcia, walking into her rooms: Hello, people who do not live here.

Marwick: Hey

Jenna: Hi

Beetle: Hello

Nicko: Hey!

Marcia: I gave you the key for emergencies only!

Septimus: We were out of doritos

#this one is. After sep has moved out abdhdbrj #septimus heap #marcia overstrand #nicko heap #o beetle beetle #mandy marwick #jenna heap

Septimus: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Marcia, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Septimus:

Septimus: fsh

#yes im just using the incorrect quotes generator now. What of it #septimus heap #marcia overstrand

Septimus: I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorised a lot of words

#septimus heap

Silas: can I ask a dumb question?

Marcia: better than anybody I know

#septimus heap #marcia overstrand #silas heap #<3

Milo: I eat Cheerios because they’re heart healthy...and my heart has been severely damaged

Milo, tearing up: So, Marcia, if you’re out there-

#septimus heap #marcia overstrand #milo banda #my head is full of Them

Sarah: We call that a traumatic event.

Sarah, turning to Septimus: Not a 'bro moment'

Sarah, turning to Simon: Not a 'major L'

Sarah, turning to Marcia: And not an 'oof lmao'

#sep + marcia + simon are rlly just out here with massive trauma like yeah this is fine <3 #and like everyone else but I had to pick 3 here #septimus heap #marcia overstrand #simon heap #sarah heap

Silas: I trust Marcia

Septimus: you think she knows what she's doing?

Silas: I wouldn't go that far

#septimus heap #marcia overstrand #silas heap

septimus-heap

Reblog my posts reblog my posts reblog my posts reblog my posts reblog my po-

Septimus: sometimes I don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone staring at me weird

#this is everyone actually but I can only have 1 character saying it #so septimus it is #I was tempted to put marcia but she doesn't tell Funny Stories #septimus heap

Alther: how long has it been since either of you slept

Marcia: three or four

Alther: three or four what

Septimus: maybe five

#septimus heap #marcia overstrand #alther mella

Marcia: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Silas: Wow, not even a "good morning"?

Marcia: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?

#septimus heap #marcia overstrand #silas heap #this is their entire relationship in 1 shitpost ngl

Beetle, sitting in a jail cell with Septimus: so who are you gonna call to get us out of here?

Septimus: I should probably call Marcia, but I feel safer in prison

#septimus heap #marcia overstrand #o beetle beetle #marcia would find out anyway but. They tried

Silas: So what's it like, dating Marcia?

Milo: Once, I asked her for a glass of water while she was mad at me so she brought me a glass of ice and said 'wait'

Silas:

Milo: I love her

#septimus heap #marcia overstrand #milo banda #silas heap

Jenna: Marcia?

Septimus: You love us right?

Marcia:

Marcia: Normally I would say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

#septimus heap #marcia overstrand #jenna heap #spit fyre ate someones cat again :/

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