What if Bigfoot?

And if Not Bigfoot, Who?

[probablybigfoot]

New Elemental Head Cannon

Claude the dirt kid is a CPS kid who lives near the shop with his Fireish foster parents (the older couple who hang out at the shop and talk smack with Ember's dad). He's sort of a latch key kid but everyone around the shop knows his foster parents and treat him like family. His foster parents are a retired couple who, after raising their own children, and finishing their careers, decided to open their home to children in need. They genuinely love Claude and want him to be happy. His crush on Ember comes from her being sassy and stern with him because he hates when people treat him differently because he's self-concious about being a foster kid and hates when people act differently towards him because of it. The first time they met she told him to move it or lose it while she ran across the shop and was annoyed he was in her way. He thought it was funny but assumed she only said it because she didn't know him. Ember then comes out from the back with her apron on and apologizing to her dad for being late on the deliveries and he realizes she worked in the shop and was part of the family that his foster parents were friends with.

[moringmark]

[probablybigfoot]

After serious deliberation, I've decided that Bugsnaxs is the post human extinction sequel to Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. The grumpuses evolved from humans, the bugsnax were born from the food machine and evolved into human eating parasites hence the humans desertion of Swallow Falls. The evolution into grumpuses was caused by the worldwide consumption of the heavily mutated food (which was all created from water, hence why all bugsnax are the same thing, just different shapes. It also explains why they can't be cooked because the heat disrupts the radiation used to form them.) which is also why bugsnax are able to alter the grumpus DNA to imitate food. It was mutated to begin with.

[probablybigfoot]

An Intoxicated review of the anime Sacrificial Girl and The King of Beasts

I like monster fucker romance and this anime seemed promising. After binging 20 episodes, this is my review.

Lead romance is about as spicy as a stick of butter, but the King of Beasts turn into skinny goth guy every full moon who has to wonder around in his giant beast pants, so it's ok. The show does have two different pointy black dogs that are 10,000% gay crushing on their respective childhood friends to the point of one wanting to kill the female lead and the other cuddles with his master's lifeless body under the moon light.

I give it a 7.5, would watch 18+ version.

(Literally, there's like, a gay Doberman who was a slave until his Alpha Canus (say it out loud) bought him when they were around 7 or 8 and all of his "fond" flashbacks of their childhood is just the wolf kid bossing him around and rambling about how he "owns" the Dobertwink and how they can never be too far apart because he wont be able to here him give orders. When they're adults the wolf describes his personal lipstick cleaner as "Just a stupid, lovable, slave" when asked about him by Sariphi (her name literally just means sacrifice) while he leans his head back and closes his eyes. )

[probablybigfoot]

Trolls Movie Timeline Breakdown

Ok, so I've been seeing a lot of people try to piece together the history of the Trolls franchise based across the three theatrically released movie. I know there's a T.V series, but I dont care about that. I only care about setting the record straight because I've seen all three movies at least 10 times each and I keep seeing people get shit wrong. I understand I have a problem. So here's how it is.

The Bergen held the trolls captive long enough that "Trollstice" became a central part of the culture to the point of the head chef being considered a position of significant political standing. Chef literally has a direct line to the royal family as well as underlings which means that enough time had to pass for there to require not only a higher authority second to the king, but an organized group of people who held some form of authority over the other Bergens to maintain order. Trollstice was also around long enought the the Bergen's literally forgot how to maintain their mental health without the trolls. Poppy's narration at the beginning said the Bergens didn't know how to hug, sing, or dance, but Bridgett was capable of all those things before she ever met Poppy and the Snack Pack which means the only thing really stopping the Bergens from being happy was their belief that they simply couldn't be happy. That's going to take a hot minute to accomplish. It could be speculated that the Pop Troll's initial enslavement could have even happened shortly after the troll leaders originally disbanded with the strings. Unsure of how to survive with a significantly smaller colony and recovery from the disaster, the Pop Trolls would have been incredibly vulnerable to outside threats. This would also explain why none of the current Pop Trolls alive didn't know about the other tribes. The royal family, recognizing that the Pop Trolls' capture was caused by their mistakes of destroying the harmony with the other tribes, decided to let their memory fade, passing the secret of their existence down the familial line along with the Pop string. King Peppy didn't plan on telling Poppy because, after 20 years of living in the forest and never seeing the other tribes, he probably thought they weren't around anymore and that their memory should die with him.

I believe this is the first chapter of the Pop Trolls' history.

The next major event was the escape from the troll tree and the loss of the elder troll princess.

Despite being enslaved by the Bergens, the trolls all maintained their color. We see in the first movie that Trolls lose their color when they lose hope, so the Trolls must have had something keeping them going. It is also worth mentioning that King Peppy is the only visibly elderly Troll shown. I believe that the oldest Trolls of the tribe would willingly sacrifice themselves to the Bergen to give their children a little longer to live and Brozone was formed because the presence of young trolls living without the fear of being eaten and having a greater chance of escaping through the tunnel that the tribe had been secretly building for years, gave the older generations peace.

This would explain why Branch and his brothers were never shown to have parent(s) they were part of a sacrifice. This is complicated by Branch's grandmother being alive, but it's possible that she either held a ranking that excluded her from sacrifice, or his parent(s) died in an accident leaving only his grandmother to raise him and his brothers. When Brozone broke up, they all talked about going different places. It is likely that they were going to go underground to different mining colonies that had been established as the trolls had blindly dug under Bergen Town before intercepting a natural tunnel network outside the borders (This is the Neverglade Trail. Trolls that hiked it were essentially survey scouts figuring out which tunnels were best for the whole tribe's escape route and which were dangerous.). This is also why Branch and Floyd dreamed about building an underground hideout. They probably grew up watching the secret tunneling operation and idolized the trolls who were digging their way to freedom.

This happened a few years before the beginning of the first Trolls movie. A few months after losing his brothers, Branch formed Kismet with his childhood friends because he wanted to keep performing and bringing people joy. Unfortunately, they formed around the same time Chef became head of the Trollstice committee and they never got a chance to perform. When Chef went to collect the sacrificed trolls, she saw Branch rehearsing for a show, and she saw an opportunity to assert her dominance over the Trolls and show that she will no longer abide by the agreement by taking once of their beloved children. As we all know, Branches grandmother (who had been exempt from the earlier sacrifice) got in the way and Chef, angry that a troll defied her, chose to take Grandma away and come back for Poppy later to punish the tribe. This shock caused the Pop Trolls to rush their tunneling process, leading to unsafe conditions and Kismet never finishing the song they'd been working on.

This is when Viva and the other Putt-Putt Trolls got separated and were presumed to have died. Viva had gone to some of the outlying colonies to lead them to the main tunnel, but the Bergens intercepted. Clay was in one of those colonies, which is why he was there to help establish the Putt-Putt village and also why he never knew about Grandma's death. Viva never said anything to him because she doesn't like talking about bad things and/or assumed he already knew.

This would have been extremely distressing to King Peppy because his desperation to save one daughter lead to the loss of the other. It's possible that King Peppy lost or came close to losing his color and that is why nobody ever told Poppy about Viva or talked about the lost trolls, they feared one or both of the only living members of the royal family would lose their will to lead and leave them vulnerable. The story of how they were captured was likely passed (albeit heavily altered) down from generation to generation so the extant trolls knew the danger of losing key members of their tribe.

Following their escape and the establishment of their new village, Kismet disbanded due to Branch losing his color and pushing his friends away. The other members of Kismet are not seen in the previous movies because, after Branch gets his color back, they felt guilty for abandoning him to his depression (they were like, 5 when all this happened, so you can't really blame them) and didn't think he'd want them around. The came back at the end of Band Together because Branch had finally reached out to them (Branch thought they were angry at him for causing their band to break up, so he'd avoided contact.)

Poppy remembers none of this because she is several years younger than Branch. She knew and loved Brozone songs because the older trolls continued to play their music for several years before Branch became to much of an outcast and it just got too weird).

John Dory had already established a homestead (and tamed a wild Rhonda) so he was never present in Pop Village. Floyd and Bruce were part of the initial escape, and knew about their Grandmother's death, but they were still too upset about their group breaking up to want to stay in the same village and chose to strike out on their own before ending up in Mount Rageous and Vacay Island respectively. Neither checked on Branch because they didn't know the details of what happened having been in the mining colonies and thought other trolls in the village were taking care of him.

Floyd ended up in Mount Rageous where he worked as a private music and choreography coach. Velvet eventually heard about him and concocted the plan to steal his talent by arranging to take classes with him and then kidnapping him.

The Trolls say all of this happened 20 years ago because it happened over the course of 1 year.

I have no in universe reason as to why Viva speaks Spanish. Maybe King Peppy had an affaire with a Spanish Reggae troll in his wild and youth.

Thank you for your time.

[probablybigfoot]

An intoxicated review

The episode where we find out Bluey is very competitive and Bingo has a gambling problem.

[probablybigfoot]

Drew this and made bumper stickers to show my support for all my LGBTQ+ friends and family. This is the first pride month I've gotten to be with my older sibling after they came out as transgender and non-binary so I was in the rainbow spirit.

[lyridmeteorshower]

Very Brief Guide to [tumblr], for Reddit refugees

Shit You Must Do Right Fucking Now:

Change your profile picture, blog header, and title to something other than the defaults. Do it right now. You will be mistaken for a bot otherwise, and blocked.

Go into Settings -> Dashboard, scroll down to Preferences, and turn off the options in the picture. This will get rid of most of the algorithmic stuff.

Turn off Tumblr Live. You have to snooze it once every 7 days for some stupid reason. It's hosted through another company and will steal your data if you use it.

Go to your blog settings (under the little person menu) and turn off these two settings:

Turn off infinite scroll (lags the site) and turn on timestamps on posts, in the same menu as Preferences.

Basic Features of the Site:

Reblogs drive the entire site. If you'd upvote something on Reddit, you'd reblog it on Tumblr. You can add text, images, or tags to a reblog, but you're not required to.

The dashboard is the equivalent to your Reddit feed, and contains the posts of all the people you follow, with the newest at the top

You can send an ask to someone, and it'll appear in their askbox for them to answer. You can receive them too, or turn off the settings if you don't want.

Tags aren't actually used for finding stuff (search function is dogshit), but are more for categorizing. People also talk in tags. Because Tumblr is weird, you can't use quotation marks (") or commas in them without fucking it up

You can filter both tags and phrases under Account Settings; doing this will put a filter over a post that contains them, which you'll have to click through to see the post itself. Useful for avoiding hate speech or blocking out annoying stuff

You can make polls in posts. Here's one now.

holy shit it's a poll

cool!

ooh clicky clicky button!! i wanna press it!! lemme press it!

you can add up to 10 options btw

Voting ended onJun 19, 2023

Likes are useless. They literally do fuck-all except send a notification to the OP.

Stuff Tumblr Does That Other Sites Don't:

Very old posts (I'm talking from like 2012) often circulate on this site. There's no such thing as a post being "too old" to reblog

Blocking is highly encouraged; you can block someone for any reason. Even for just being annoying.

If you and someone else are following each other, you are mutuals. Mutuals are fucking awesome and are treasured like friends. Mutuals are a thing on other sites but Tumblr treats em differently.

You can screenshot someone's tags if you like them and add them to a reblog. This is called "peer review"

Sometimes someone will find a blog and go through it and like/reblog a bunch of posts. This is totally fine and not "creepy" like it is seen as on other sites.

Tumblr jokes often rely on Continuing The Bit and a "yes, and?" attitude. Goncharov is probably the best example of this.

We are fucking infested with bots. They will either have totally blank profiles or be filled with porn. Block and report on sight.

Censorship is pretty lax here. I can say "I want to brutally stab Elon Musk to death and watch him bleed out in front of a crowd" and nobody gives a shit.

General Etiquette:

Don't try to do epic clapbacks here, you'll probably just get laughed at or blocked. If someone is bugging you or spouting bigoted bullshit, block them.

Reblog art!!! Artists often struggle to gain traction on here; reblogging will give them a boost.

Not every reblog needs a comment or tag in it

You can go all out with tagging your stuff to organize it, or you can just leave it all blank. Someone might ask "hey, can you tag these posts as [x]?" and you can decide if you want to do that or not. It's generally polite to oblige, but "no" is still reasonable.

Avoid discourse like the plague. Filter it, block people who start it, scroll past it when you see it. Just don't get involved in it. Ever.

Don't put fandom tags or jokes on someone's posts about serious matters or personal shit

You're responsible for curating your own dashboard; if you complain about constantly seeing stuff you don't like, that's probably on you. Don't be afraid to unfollow.

Follower count doesn't matter much here and you don't have to make yours known if you don't want to.

Reblog, don't repost. Reblogging keeps the credit and doesn't "steal" engagement like Twitter retweets.

If someone likes something a LOT, they might reblog it like 30 times in a row. This is normal

Having a post blow up is actually kinda a bad thing, since it floods your notifications. There's a sort of in-joke about how having a big post is awful and people jokingly try to stop their own posts from blowing up, often in vain.

Tips:

Get XKit Rewritten if you're on desktop, it's a really helpful extension

In the little drop-down menu next to the 'Post now' button you can either save a draft, schedule a post, or add it to your queue. The queue lets you post things in order at a certain interval, which you can change. It's good for spreading stuff out over time.

You can use Shift+R to quickly reblog stuff and Shift+Q to queue!

Filter your notifications under Activity - you can also see some neat graphs

Find each other! If you want your old Reddit communities to stick together, seek out other refugees and follow them.

Have fun on [tumblr], everyone!

[probablybigfoot]

The Secret of The Seals 1992 anime movie is just Harry Potter but instead of wizards, they're environmentalists and instead of assholes they're Italian.

Totoi/Harry Potter. The both have dead mothers and both of their fathers have bushy black hair and glasses. They both find out they have a special connection with a rarely seen world that most people think is a myth. For Harry it was finding out he was destined to kill wizard Hitler (only to become Hitler himself!) and Totoi finds an almost extinct Mediterranean seal and her pup hiding in a cave.

Billia/Ron-- The supporting male lead to the chosen ones. They're the best friends to our leads and are the largest source of peer pressure for the main boy to do something stupid. Totoi tells Billia of his first encounter with the seals only for Billia to doubt him and then tell everyone about what Titoi claimed. When Totoi does find the seals, Billia pressures him into showing the animals to him and his friends which ultimately results in one spilling the beans and the seals being attacked. Ron lost all self worth when his sister was born and instead of being jealous of her he aimed it at the orphan kid whose entire life has been a sacrificial ceremony to end his life in the name of wizard kind.

Catalina/Hermione-- Both have uncommon-in-America names that makes everyone have to doublecheck their spelling. They're both quick to tell others what to do and both act like know it alls. Hermione's first scene involves her asking a kid who hasn't even gone to school yet if he learned the things they're going to school for and Catalinas first line is sternly telling a kid she's never met "Don't tell lies!" before getting on Billia's new dirt bike and complimenting Billia like he's a dog.

Mr. Nani/Hagrid-- The Sexy One. The older friend other the hero who gives them guidance and support as they learn their respective destinies. He loves animals and children. He has a beard and a cool coat that he probably killed with the same bare hands he uses can use so gently (Mr. Nani makes his living as a potter and Hagrid can calm a unicorn's soul.), both will fight to the death for what they love. Hagrid has gone against death eaters, giant spiders, and entered the realm of giant clan politics because Dumbledore didn't punt Tom Riddle off a cliff when he had a chance. When he goes to help Totoi when the latter has gone to the seal cave to try and stop Millionaire Americans from poaching the mother, Nani takes a flying leap off a speedboat and punches a goon in the face before fighting off another.

The Seals/Voldemort-- Both are the catalyst of the hero's journey. Voldemort tries to strike down his enemies, only to create the very plot device that will be able to stop him and Totoi went for a leisurely swim in a cave and the mother seal begins charging him. Voldemort and the Seal also share the element of make Hagrid/Nani think the hero is dead. Voldemort hits Harry with the killing curse and the seal, upon realizing the cave is about to flood, pushes Totoi up onto a stone pillar near the entrance of the cave chamber they're in and then she gets her baby and they go onto higher ground at the back of the cave. This leave Totoi clings to the rocks for dear life and Mr. Nani to fear the child has drowned.

Thank you for reading my dissertation.

p.s J.k Rowling sucks.