Wtf does stan mean
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Three Goblin Art
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

oozey mess
art blog(derogatory)

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
sheepfilms
Stranger Things

@theartofmadeline
RMH

Product Placement
todays bird
Acquired Stardust
No title available
dirt enthusiast

Love Begins
Game of Thrones Daily

shark vs the universe
h

⁂

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from Poland

seen from India

seen from United Kingdom

seen from T1

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Poland
seen from Brazil

seen from Spain
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@professionalfigureskater
Wtf does stan mean
ISO friends
Be my friend.
My name is Madeline. I’m 27. I have a cat. I’m Catholic. I work retail.
Let’s bond.
Friendship is Magic set with @jamesdevito @chrisuphues and Kim Klein.
Mia and Percy
I love the Dalmatians
8-10-18
I had a pretty good day today.
Woke up, had coffee, scooped the cat box, took out the garbage, showered, went to my appointment, went to the pharmacy (dropped $120 on three prescriptions), went to Taco Bell, went to work, went to Kroger, came home.
8/9/18
I haven’t shower in at least 7 days.
I hate my job so much. I’m afraid to lose it though. But the more I think about it, what do I have to lose? What is the worst that could happen?
Yea, I have health insurance, a 401k, and two weeks vacation. But it’s retail. I barely make $20,000 a year. I dread this place. They don’t value me. I am just another body. They do not care. I do not feel appreciated.
I go to bed every night and wake up every morning hating that place and my life. I think it contributes to me wanting to die. I think about cutting my wrists with my box cutter from work.
I have sciatic nerve pain, lower back pain, and inflammation in my wrist because of here.
I’m constantly tired. I have low energy and motivation.
And for what? I’m poor and unhappy. My mom pays my rent and my phone bill. And I still can’t afford anything.
I have over $2,000 of debt, collectively.
I haven’t worked on my schooling in a month.
I have to go back now.
7/24/18
I don’t know why I am so depressed. I had five days off of work. Spent most of the time with friends. Went to a baseball game. Today I hung out with my little cousin who flew in from Seattle for the week. I was pretty wise with money all week. I went on a 4 mile walk. Why am I still sad?
Maybe it’s because I have to go back to work tomorrow.
Also, when I broke up with my boyfriend, the first month was great. I felt freedom. Then, I became lonely. I missed having someone to talk to.
I am still experiencing that loneliness.
I don’t have many friends and the ones I do have are: a) hella introverted and aren’t ones for hanging out much b) want to smoke or drink every time we hang out
I don’t really have friends that I can go on a walk with or watch movies with or just talk with on the phone. I know I can always call my mom but the conversation tends to run dry because I’ve known her for 27 years LOL.
I am sad.
7-21-18
I’m sad and I feel like throwing up.
I’m also bored and lonely.
I wish I had more friends. :(
7-11-18
It’s been a while, a lot has changed.
I won’t get in to all that, let’s focus on the topics at hand.
I am currently drinking WINE and making a FROZEN PIZZA? I literally have no idea who I am anymore. 4 months ago I would never have pictured myself doing either of these things.
Anyway, I fucking hate my life. It has definitely been worse. But I feel very alone even though I have friends. I mean, I kinda have friends. I do have friends.
I feel like I have no one to talk to. I feel suicidal at times, but I don’t really have “a plan” I just want to die. I get the urge to cut my wrists, and write goodbye letters. But I never do. It’s just that I want to, it’s fucked up. I don’t think normal happy people get these feelings.
It’s a long/short story that I don’t want to type out but on 7/7/18, I smoked pot for the first time in 7 years. (6 years 10 months to be exact)
It was medical oil. It was fucking amazing. I took three hits, should probably have only taken one. I was very uncomfortable during the peak of the high, but the during and after were incredible. It was the best nights sleep I had in years.
Previous to this, in June, I drank alcohol for the first time since May 2011.
2018 is the year I broke my sobriety. It’s okay, I’m not straight edge or anything. It was more of a personal thing.
Back to me bitching. I am so fucking fat. I am 5′3 and weight 249lbs. This is literally the biggest I have ever been in my life. I hate it so much.
I think one of the reasons I am so miserable and want to give up and just become an obese burger flipping stoner is because I feel like I try and I’m not getting anyway. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough.
I fucking hate my job so much. Our management team sucks. I can deal with shitty coworkers but when you have managers that don’t communicate and don’t appreciate you, it makes working unbearable. Especially considering I only make $20,000 a year. That’s fucking nothing.
I broke up with my boyfriend on Memorial Day. I’m happy that I’m single but I miss our friendship. He was my best friend and now I don’t have him. I miss having that person I could talk to anything about.
Drinking while sad was a terrible idea, I’m balling my eyes out right now.
My car needs $600+ worth of work done to it. The car itself is only worth $2,000.
I feel a little better now that I’m crying.
Another downward spiral in my life is my relationship with God. I feel like I’m not putting Him first. I’m just going to church out of routine. Only praying when I want something. It’s bad. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
The happiest I’ve been this year was when I went to the White Sox game and when I smoked weed.
bye
5-28-18
I’m depressed and anxious and I think it’s because I’m avoiding doing something hard.
5-26-18
I miss smoking pot sometimes. Sometimes a lot.
I have been sober from drugs/marijuana/alcohol for 6+ years.
Why do I still miss pot? I smoked daily for about 4 years. I smoked when I could for about 2 years.
I don’t think it would be good for me if I started again. But I wish I had something healthy to replace the feeling. Especially the social aspect.
I know you can watch movies and play videos games and cruise around and hike with friends without pot. But pot was like a friend too.
1-18-18
Today I was looking at my brother’s Facebook and I saw pictures with rooms from my parents house in the background and I got really upset.
It’s not fair that I can’t go back there.
Why does he get to live there forever?
Not only that, but he ruined the place.
He’s disgusting.
He’s one of the main reasons I developed OCD.
I would never want his life. I know he’s messed up, and has it worse off than me. I just wish my family was different.
12/30/17 f r i e n d s
I have my boyfriend, 2 girl friends, one guy friend, and one girl cousin. These are the only people I hang out with, and one of my friends I only see maybe a few times a year even though we live in the same town.
I am generally a likable person.
However, I am pretty introverted and like my alone time. So, when people outside of my inner gang ask me to hang out, I shoot them down almost always. I make up an excuse.
But now, I want to find something to do for New Year’s Eve and no ones here to help a sister out. I don’t want to go to bars and drink and get crazy til 4am. I just want to like, hang out, play board games or something. I don’t want to be alone tomorrow night even though I usually don’t mind being alone.
I don’t know. I work tomorrow too so that’s another thing. I don’t think I’m reaching out to enough people.
Cousin is out of town, bf is too far, one friend has plans, other friend not responding, and my other friend I didn’t bother texting.
Shrug.
12/22/17 10:38pm
I miss X-Kit.
I feel like Christmas isn’t really in three days.
In 2012/2013 I lost roughly 90lbs. I was approx 220 and got down to 132. I did this with calorie counting, daily exercise, and eliminating red meat, soda pop, fried food, fast food, candy, and dairy. From 2014-2017 I have gained back almost all of it. I am 211lbs.
It is very difficult for me to get into the mindset of weight loss again.
My mind is so bizarre. I did drugs from ages 15-20 and literally quit overnight. I stopped alcohol hard drugs in May 2011 and then in Sept 2011 I stopped smoking pot. And I had no withdrawals. It was easy to quit because pot was making me sick. The worst part about quitting pot was losing friends but in isolation I really found myself.
About 5 months ago I stopped smoking cigarettes. I had smoked for 12 years, I had quit twice before, each time only lasting for 2 months. But this time, it was so easy. I think I had only 3 bad cigarette cravings. It was like one day I just stopped.
How did my brain do that? I believe these were miracles from God. Why can’t I stop food? I eat, and eat, and eat some more. I eat emotionally, I eat from boredom, I eat. Not giving in to food craving is impossible. I can say no to drugs but not food. How?
And spending. But that is another topic. I think they are all related. I think if I start exercising again I will be happier, and will be healthier, and I will eat better, and as a result, spend less. I will not try to fill a void with material possessions. Lord, I love you. Please help me.
I mean…I’d be concerned too
@trashcanbees
I see nothing wrong with this. I once watched High School Musical everyday for a month.
life really is crazy