BDSM101

[professorcupcake89]

I am Tim, I operate BDSM101.ICU. I am a Dom, and have been so for over a decade and a half. I won't even try to pretend that I know everything, but I know enough that educating people newly on their BDSM journey is well within my capabilities. Educating would make me an educator, and as such, I have adapted and adopted a Kink educator code of conduct listed below.

INTRODUCTION

The Kink Education Code of Conduct (KECC) establishes a code of conduct for kink educators and producers. It provides practical guidance for navigating many of the ethical dilemmas we face and creates a framework for clear communication between educators and producers.

The KECC is a roadmap for reasonable human beings, not a precise legal code. You should interpret it using good judgment and good faith, seeking always to adhere to the spirit of the code.

This is the educator version of the KECC. This code has been altered to reflect my personal work, such as removing student portions as I do not currently work with classes and students.

MODELING CONSENT

I consistently practice excellent consent in private and in public. Excellent consent is:

Verbal or written when I am teaching or playing in public. Verbal, written, or covered by a pre-existing relationship or negotiation when in private.

Fully informed, where all parties understand what is agreed to.

Expressed with explicit or enthusiastic agreement.

Consistent and continuous.

Not coerced, not forced, and free of manipulation.

PROFESSIONAL COMPETENCE

I teach within my area of expertise:

I only teach material I thoroughly understand and am capable of teaching correctly.

If I teach techniques that are contrary to commonly accepted best practices, I clearly communicate that and explain my reasons for doing so.

When teaching any topic in the domain of a particular profession—for example physical fitness, stretching and warmup, anatomy, nerves, blood play, breath play, hypnosis, trauma response, mental health, legal issues, or any kind of medical play—I explicitly explain whether:

I have relevant professional qualifications, or

I have reviewed the material I am teaching with a qualified professional, or

I am teaching my own opinion.

I respect each person’s right to choose their own risk profile:

I do not pressure anyone to perform techniques outside their risk profile.

I make it clear that students are welcome to audit any techniques they are not comfortable performing.

If I teach high-risk techniques or activities, I clearly communicate the risks involved and I encourage my students to negotiate in class before engaging in any hands-on practice.

I respect each venue’s policies about high-risk activities.

INCLUSION

I treat everyone in a respectful manner and make them feel welcome:

In both my personal and professional lives, I do not discriminate against someone because of that person's race, color, religion, sex (including gender identity, sexual orientation, sexuality, and pregnancy status), national origin, age, disability, or genetic information. I also do not retaliate against anyone because they have submitted a complaint about discrimination.

I do not intentionally do anything that creates a hostile environment for any group of people.

I apologize when something I do creates a hostile environment for any group of people.

I use correct pronouns for each person. I ask people what pronouns they use when I am not sure.

Except when teaching gender-specific topics, I present material in a gender-neutral fashion rather than assuming specific gender roles.

Whenever possible, I teach techniques that are applicable to all genders, body types, and physical abilities.

ACCOUNTABILITY

I hold myself accountable for my actions and enable the community to help hold me accountable:

I acknowledge that I am flawed and will not always succeed at applying this code of conduct to my behaviors and actions.

I respectfully and proactively seek feedback from the people I play with, the people I teach, my peers, community leaders, and others.

I acknowledge my inevitable mistakes and am receptive to others telling me when I have fallen short.

When I make a mistake I do my best to apologize, make things right, learn from the experience, and make changes to ensure the same mistakes don’t happen again.

I engage openly and honestly when addressing any reported consent issues, including participating in an accountability process with anyone who reports that I violated their consent or injured them.

I follow this code of conduct and the accountability processes of producers and organizations I work with.

I post this Code of Conduct wherever I have an online presence and explicitly state that I have voluntarily committed to following it.

I have at least one accountability contact and make their contact information available wherever I have an online presence, as well as in my class handouts. *

I do not use any kind of non-disclosure agreement or threat of legal action to prevent my partners from discussing their experiences with me.

PROFESSIONAL CONDUCT

I am a professional:

I represent myself honestly, giving complete answers to all questions during the booking process.

I provide complete and accurate information about my experience and qualifications.

I am clear and up-front about my expectations regarding logistics and compensation.

I show up on time and prepared.

I understand my conduct reflects on the venues that hire me and behave in a professional and responsible fashion while working.

DISCLOSURE AND PRIVACY

I proactively provide producers with complete and accurate information about:

Any consent incidents I have caused or been accused of

Any injuries I have caused or been accused of

Any accountability processes I have been the focus of When disclosing information to producers or in public, I am careful to protect the privacy of anyone I may have harmed.

I respect other people’s right to freely discuss their experiences with me:

I never pressure anyone to keep quiet about their experience with me, nor do I ask my partners to refrain from discussing their experiences with me or others.

I do not retaliate against anyone for sharing their concerns about me with others, either directly or via third parties.

I respect everyone’s right to hold private discussions about educators and venues:

I do not ask anyone to share private information with me, nor will I look at information that should not have been shared with me.

I do not harass, challenge, or question anyone who shares information about me in a private forum.

* I am working on fulfilling this one, and will be actively shared once I do have someone I feel is capable of fulfilling the accountability point of contact for me.

[myfunnywonderland]

Oh, Pinterest, thank you

I'm buying this for my birthday

[dem0niiix-deactivated20231209]

Always remember x

[professorcupcake89]

It's what makes it worth it.

[shewhoistiredofjudgement]

When he is on his way home after a rough day.

[professorcupcake89]

Kink is like art, it is interpreted differently by all who enjoy it. It can be beautiful, deep, surface level, painful, pleasuring, it can have a sad background or one of just profound freedom. The fact kink can be seen and interpreted differently necessitates that it be communicated thoroughly between partners what kink means to them specifically. Breeding for example is a kink that, on its surface and definition is something can can only happen between cis gendered male/female couples, but in kink, it is far more than that. Anyone, regardless of gender or sexuality, can enjoy a breeding kink if they have it. For some, they wont feel that kink fulfilled without the very real chance of pregnancy, and for others, the mere fantasy, roleplay, or discussion of it is enough to fulfill their kink. It really is beautiful that any kink can be seen this way, but it can be confusing, so again, communicate, discuss, and enjoy. Kink should not be in the shadows, it should be freely discussed between adults and shared and expressed appropriately but freely.

[sexmares]

We have a sale going on! 20% off all customs and current inventory

[professorcupcake89]

May the turkey be the 2nd most stuffed thing this year, and your sub do the gobble gobble gobble! Happy Thanksgiving.

[professorcupcake89]

It's the bare necessities

So get your ass naked please

Show me all the holes I get to fillllll

Your body is what I want

So I'm going to fill up that cunt

And pump until there's nothing left.

[professorcupcake89]

This is my first attempt at an editorial, hope it helps someone understand a little better.

There are protocols that can be given from a Dom to their sub. These protocols can have many meanings, but there should be a purpose behind it. One set of protocols I set as a Dom that is often misunderstood is the ones for appearance and hygiene.

I set things like shaving or not shaving as it befits my whims of the time, and it is negotiated as something I can adjust when I feel like within the dynamic. This isn’t because one is better or more desirable overall, but because it shows my control over this aspect. There is effort and dealing with things that may be annoyances that may arise.

My control over this aspect, and hygiene in general is not because I find flaws in the execution by my slave. I do not think they need to do this part to be better or be the best version of themselves. Most of what I do is to push my submissive to be their best, to encourage growth and to make sure their life is as pleasurable with me as can be. But there are some things that I enjoy that are simply for pleasure.

This goes for things such as make up or hair as well. For me I am fine with setting make up requirements as a daily routine and protocol. This is set to force my slave to put in effort for me, to hopefully increase their self esteem and provide a small amount of self-care as they apply and clear the make up away. This is not because I find the natural beauty of my slave to be lacking, but because I want the effort. My personal favorite is the 90-00s punk/goth/emo, and push for those make up styles when I demand them. I will mostly accept eyeliner, eye shadow, and lip color on a day-to-day basis though, because it shows the effort is put in to draw more attention to my object to try to enhance the beauty.

The make up as an enhancement is a side benefit, but it is important for me to drive home the understanding between me and my submissive that I find their natural beauty more than adequate and desirable. The effort and attention drawing make up is entirely a symbol of my control and their desire to serve me and my wishes.

Hair style I tend to not push hard for a change or control over, especially when I have a submissive who has a job that may have requirements for this. My personal favorites, because of colorblindness, are black and bright vibrant red. Black and natural looking red are typically ok with most jobs, but unnatural colors like blues and purples may cause issues at some jobs. I prefer a longer length, but I understand certain jobs like working in a kitchen sometimes makes this style difficult if not impossible to maintain.

The main purpose of this editorial is to share a single look at a possible protocol and how it can be seen in different ways. How it can look like a negative commentary on a characteristic of someone, while it can also be a completely different reason with a more positive undertone. This is an illustration of why communication is important, and how negotiating and being open and honest can create a stronger bond within any relationship and dynamic.

[whatyouarecraving-deactivated20]

[professorcupcake89]

I love the idea. Coming home. looking at my side table and smiling as I drop my keys and wallet on it. I walk out to the kitchen and come back with a drink, taking a sip and setting the ice cold cup down on the side table next to my keys, and hearing it whimper. I kneel down and look at my beautiful little slave in the face and smile kissing her forehead and walk away to change into more comfortable clothing, leaving her to be the table a little longer.

[professorcupcake89]

So, it turns out that writing something actually requires you to write! this is preposterous, ridiculous, inconceivable even! anyways, I got a new post out today about pussy torture!

[batbitestoys]

Venom Drips 🖤

[goddamnitomar-deactivated202508]

I love when people reply to me with long messages and details and keep the conversation interesting like yes tell me everything I'm listening

[professorcupcake89]

[professorcupcake89]

By definition, a cage is a structure consisting of bars or wires designed to confine animals. This inherent design flexibility allows for a diverse range of interpretations. Cages can be stationary, permanently installed in a room, or portable, set up temporarily for a scene, making them exceptionally versatile for confinement and bondage activities.

Incorporating cages into specific kinks can be highly rewarding. A smaller cage can serve as a kennel, an excellent addition for puppy players, either as a form of "punishment" or even as a sleeping area, depending on its size. Cages can also play a significant role in degradation and humiliation kinks, especially when set up for guests to witness or made portable.

[professorcupcake89]

Another Friday means another Friday Feature on kinky furniture. Today we look at cages. What other kink furniture are you interested in?