got it good; what do i need with love?

Jameson Jamie Huntington. English & Creative Writing Professor at NYU, New York Times Best Selling Author, Taco Enthusiast, Dog dad. Divorced x2.

[gxthamprince-archive]

                                                       did it ever occur to you

     i might like [ keeping ] what happened to me

                                                                      buried down d e e p ?

[professorjamie]

And I’m Still Hurting.

[professorjamie]

ofvioltts‌:

I’ll never stop trying. God, it sounded like something out of a movie. These kind of moments weren’t supposed to happen in real life. In real life, he should be angry at her, not kind and understanding to a point where she wanted to scream. To tell him that he was wrong for trying so hard, that she wasn’t worth all this effort he was putting in. She didn’t need him. She told herself that every single day in the hope that one day it might come true. Yet, it never did. Every day, she woke up reaching out to the empty space on the other side of the bad because she still hadn’t gotten used to sleeping alone again. 

He took another step and the distance between them shortened. It was almost like they were being pulled together like magnets. “It’s not-.” She swallowed thickly, shoving her now trembling hands into the pockets of her hoodie that she never seemed to take off. “It’s not realistic.” Another pause. “You’ll get tired of it.” Unless Jamie miraculously came home, she didn’t ever see herself being who he had fallen in love with. Maybe he was optimistic but she was pessimist in their relationship. She’d call it being the realist. Eventually he’d get sick of the nightmares that plagued her more then before. Of the days where she felt like she couldn’t move because he body was just too heavy. It was better to cut him out now before he tried and evidently, failed.

“What’s not realistic?” He questioned, cocking a brow, desperate to understand where she was coming from. All of this time, he thought they could have avoided this whole mess if there had been more communication. If she had told him she just needed time. If she could have said something, anything. But grief was a tricky thing, hard to navigate for the ones you loved but even more so for the one in the thick of it. He let out a soft breath and added, “I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibilities for someone who loves another human to want to be there for them through whatever, in any capacity. I have so-” He shook his head, biting the inside of his lip before continuing. “I have so much love for you and for Jamie.” He almost immediately regretted speaking his name in front of her, but they couldn’t ignore the elephant in the room forever. “Which is why I’ll never stop trying to be there for you while you go through this, and why I’ll never stop looking for him. I don’t care how long it takes for either of those things to come to fruition.”

Jamie shook his head, taking another daring step closer to her. He still resisted the urge to hold her, but the impulse was only getting stronger with each passing moment. “I’ll never get tired of it; I’ll never get tired of you.” The man insisted, almost pleading with her to believe him. He wasn’t the sort of person to let himself get attached, but he was stuck to her like glue. “I just want to be here for you, Vi. Through anything, you have me. You always have--and whether or not you’d like to admit it--you always will.” He explained, finally letting himself wrap his arms around her and pull her close to him. “I missed you so much.”

[professorjamie]

imessage 📱⇾ jamie

Pax: Please, I'm a chicks magnet without a tux

Pax: If you need them to make you feel good, then who's the one with a miserable life? 😉

Pax: It's good you're thinking as an adult

Pax: But you did WHAT exactly??

Pax: And I'm JUST finding out???!!

Pax: Spill

Jamie: Let's be honest; we both are. The tuxs are just icing on the cake.

Jamie: Hah, you and I both know I don't /need/ them, they just add another level of irresistible.

Jamie: There's not much to spill. I just texted her that I was thinking about her, and we exchanged pleasantries. She had a kid since the last time we talked, so that was a bit of a shocker.

[professorjamie]

stvrbriight‌:

— she tilted her head, “ yes, everything’s been going rather well. despite the dreadfully early mornings, ” she grinned. she nodded. he was right, mostly. between the backstabbing and the name-dropping and the generous inheritance, she had worked for what she had. she’d put work into getting her career to where it was, because a bad model who’d done some of what she’d done wouldn’t have succeeded as well. “ you’re right, of course, ” she grinned.  “ oh would it be ? maybe i should show up to a lecture or two, ” she purred, fluttering her lashes at him.

Jamie nodded, “I’m glad to hear things are going well.” He mused, polishing off another sip of his drink before adding, “Early mornings are a killer, I agree. Now that I have a regular job, I can’t stay up all night writing anymore. It’s been hard getting into a routine to wake up that early.” He chuckled; he had never been a morning person, but he was trying. “I know I’m right, I often am.” The man teased with a grin, leaning against the bar casually as he faced her. “Yes, that could work... Or maybe you should just show up after class for a little one-on-one tutoring...”

[professorjamie]

stvrbriight‌:

— vala hummed, smirking as his eyes roamed her frame, “ ah, i suppose thanks are in order then, ” she mused, taking a sip of her drink as she leaned against the bar. she eyed him as he turned to face the bar, hiding the frown as he turned his attention away from her. she always had liked attention. she laughed, “ i’m offended, ” she teased in return. “ well, my life isn’t all glitz and glamour, ” she shook her head. “ even if instagram and everyone on it would beg to differ, ” she mused. “ oh ? that’s fantastic, ” vala grinned, looking over at him, “ can’t say any of my college professors were as nice to look at as you are, ” she mused.

He glanced over to her casually, a small smirk dancing across his lips. “My pleasure.” Jamie cooed lowly, taking a sip of his own drink in return. Nodding slowly, he turned to face her again, indulging them both. “Well, you life seems pretty great to me, even without all the glitz and glamour.” The man complimented, “You’ve worked hard for your success- no shame in enjoying it now that the perks are here.” He reminded her before nodding. “Thank you, it’s exciting for sure.” A soft blush appeared at his features and he chuckled. “You’re very kind, thank you. None of my students look like you, thankfully. Would be awfully distracting if they did...” He flirted, stepping closer to her.

[professorjamie]

And I’m Still Hurting.

[professorjamie]

ofvioltts‌:

Violet had kept every single one of his letters, even if she couldn’t bring herself to read all of them. They didn’t need to be signed for her to know who they came from. The curve of his script was almost as familiar as her own. Sometimes, she could see him in her mind, writing those letters. That little crease he got in his forehead when he wrote, the one that made him look so utterly adorable in her eyes. Maybe one day she’d read them all. Read every single word that dripped with emotion and care and things she wouldn’t even dare name. Until then, they’d stay in a box, tucked away under her bed.

Oh she had missed that voice. That voice that could both lull her into sleep and make her want to stay awake just so she could hear more of it. That had once made her feel warm and safe. Times had been so simple back then. His presence alone had once relaxed her, had once given her a sense of peace that was so foreign to her. Now, it offered something messier, something unclear and harder to feel. 

“I thought you’d stop trying.” Yet, he hadn’t. Six months he had endured of her self-imposed exile and somehow he was still here, standing in a home that no longer felt like home. And oh god had she missed him. She had missed him all that was left of her. With the parts of her that Jamie had left behind. The words were stuck in her throat though, like they were refusing to be said. Even now, she could hear her mother’s voice in her head going on and on about weakness and how that’s all missing him was, a weakness. She just stood there, staring at the man that made her feel more then anyone else ever had, unable to say the words that were the most true.

While he knew he’d never be able to fully understand what Violet was going through and the pain she was feeling, he wanted to try. Jamie so desperately wanted to be there for her, even going so far as stopping to write and take a regular job so he could devote more time to her and taking care of her. Violet was as strong-willed and self-reliant as they came, but he knew that in this moment, she needed support. All of his efforts were currently for nothing, but that didn’t mean he’d ever stop trying. He needed her now more than ever, and he knew deep down that she needed him, too.

His fingers drummed against the side of his thighs, nervously fidgeting as he stood only a few feet away from her. There were so many thoughts and words swirling around in his head, so many things he wanted to say to her but couldn’t. Now was the perfect opportunity for him to say something--anything--but he just came up empty. The space between them was so minimal he could erase it entirely with one quick embrace, but he didn’t dare move from his spot, not wanting her to blow up at the contact or worse- kick him out again.

“I’ll never stop trying.” He said finally, catching her eyes with his, holding the contact only for a moment before he began peering around her walls again. It was too painful to look into her soul, to see past the broken parts and envelop himself in what they used to be. Jamie knew the woman he fell in love with was still in there, and he was hopeful she could scratch the surface again. “I understand why you’re pushing me away, Vi, and I’m not angry at you. I could never be angry with you. I understand why you haven’t returned my calls.” He clarified, clearing his throat and taking a small step towards her. The distance between them killed him as much as their six months apart had, if not more- because now she was close enough to touch, to hold, and to care for but he knew it wasn’t appropriate to do so. “I just want to be here for you; it’s all I’ve ever wanted. Through whatever you’re feeling, I want to support you.”

[professorjamie]

imessage 📱⇾ jamie

Pax: I'm more of a suits kinda guy, so I had to go buy something

Pax: Everyone will be jealous, chicks will die to be with us

Pax: Just like every night we go out but all dressed up

Pax: Yeah, it's gonna be fucked up. No pun intended

Pax: Specially with the boyfriend around

Pax: You think she'd be happy to see you there? Of course this isn't something I can ask her about

Jamie: Wow, you had to go /buy/ a tux? Your life must be miserable. So hard. I don't know how you survive, Paxie.

Jamie: Damn right, as if they don't already. ;P Haha, exactly, man.

Jamie: Oh hardy-har-har. I can be civil; she's in a different place in life and so am I. Might be a tad awkward, but I'm sure she'll be happy enough to see me. I dunno; I drunk texted her the other day- wasn't my brightest move.

[professorjamie]

And I’m Still Hurting.

[professorjamie]

ofvioltts‌:

Violet didn’t move. She just stood there, frozen by the door. It had been six months since she had allowed him inside. Inside her home. Inside her life. Now she wondered why she had even done so. It was a bad idea, she was certain. Yet, she had done it anyway. She done it because ignoring him when it was just calls or texts was easy. Doing so when he was right there after six months of doing so? Apparently, impossible. It infuriated her, how quickly she had caved after so long of pushing and pushing and pushing.

The knock at the door made her startle, snapping her back into the real world. He was so close now. She could almost see him on the other side. Hair most likely tousled and those beautiful blue eyes of his filled with worry she’d never understand the reasoning behind. She’d been so confused in the beginning. When things had begun to shift to more then just friends with benefits. She was used to people sticking around because of her money, or her status. He had seen more than that. It was unusual. Even now, after so long of pushing him away, here he was. You’d think that he would have given up by now, but he hadn’t. It felt like a movie almost. Movies were the only places things like this happened.

Slowly, she closed her hand around the handle and opened the door. Her eyes were stuck to the ground. She couldn’t look at him, not yet. Instead, she shoved her hands in the pockets of her baggy jeans and moved away. What could she say to him? Her mind was blank. Blank of everything except for the knowledge that he was sanding in her doorway for the first time since she had shut the door on him.

For two people who got paid to write and sing, they were certainly exceptional at silence. Violet more so than Jamie. She could easily ignore him, delete his text messages and decline his calls; but for him, it wasn’t that simple. After realizing his attempts at modern-day communication were fruitless, he got back to his roots and became a pen and ink man again. He’d write dozens of entries about her in his journal, penning and scribbling countless poems she’d never see about his complicated feelings towards her. Often, though, he’d end up getting a bit tipsy and mailing her these thoughts the old fashioned way. Even going as far as leaving them in her mailbox himself or attaching them to flowers he’d have delivered. Jamie never signed the letters or words, but they both knew each other well enough to know they were from him.

Swallowing hard, his eyes scanned her over, taking stock of what had changed since he had seen her last and focusing on what had stayed the same. She was still as warm and lovable looking as ever, even if the world hadn’t been kind to her and she was nearly hunched over in the doorway. She had resilience he hadn’t known from many others, and that self-reliance was prominent even now. As she let him inside, he nodded wordlessly and slipped past her, closing the door behind himself and taking a few cautious steps inside her condo.

He had been in her place countless time, spending days--or weeks--together with her son since they had first met. Her son, Jamie, had a special place in his heart as well. He had become something of a son to him, which was a feat all in its own because he had sworn off kids long ago. But now the once homely features of her New York penthouse felt foreign to him, like he was a stranger entering someone’s space for the first time. It was no longer inviting and open, but closed off and cold. A shiver ran down his spine, deja vu creeping up as he landed in the living room and finally turned back to look at her. Words failed him in that moment, a few soft stutters falling off his tongue before he composed himself. “I missed you.” Was all he managed.

[professorjamie]

stvrbriight‌:

— vala was known to enjoy a good party, although she generally hated the schmoozing involved in celebrity parties where she was, in theory, supposed to make connections. but she’d sucked it up in the early years of her career, so she could avoid some of the social interactions that she so dreaded at these sorts of things. she did like the attention that people were inclined to give her when a post on her instagram or her photo in their magazine would mean a better advertisement, though. or the attention she received from the men in attendance. “ long time indeed, ” she hummed. “ and what makes you think i don’t like a strong drink ? ” she smirked, taking the glass and bringing it to her lips. “ you mean you didn’t insta-stalk me to find out how i was doing ? ” she joked. “ ah, good, though i think i need a vacation, ” she shrugged, grinning. “ and yourself ? ” 

His eyes ran over her frame once more; this time, much more slowly. He let his bright hues take in every inch of her figure, committing it back to memory after their months apart. Jamie hummed, taking another sip of his drink and nodding in agreement. Clicking his tongue, he sat the glass back down on the bar, leaning against it and turning to face her. “I know you like a strong drink, but this one doesn’t have anything to cut the alcohol. Just giving you a gentlemanly heads up.” The man explained, winking playfully. “I know you of all people can handle it.” He added, facing the bar again, not giving her the satisfaction of his full attention. Not yet, anyway. “Don’t flatter yourself.” He teased lowly, chuckling and taking another sip of his own beverage. “A vacation? Isn’t your life glamorous enough that you don’t need to escape from it?” He inquired, cocking a brow and peering over to her. “I’ve been good; working a lot. I accepted a position as a professor at New York University for English and Creative Writing.”

[professorjamie]

TEXT -- JOJO

Jo: idk man, i've dated people who are into costumes and it's kinda freaky, i like it. oooh, what type of roleplaying?

Jo: stop jfc im working

Jo: that's what friends are for, right? hmmm... you'll take me to the book signings and events? then sure, i'm all up for making an ass of myself for you, babe

Jo: i meant while we're on the plane but... c'mon, you're just too precious. and i don't just hold people's hands so, you know i really like you.

Jo: i mean we're in ny, right? the sky's the limit. we can do anything if not skydiving.

Jamie: You like that sort of thing, huh? Duly noted. ;) Hmm, wouldn't you like to know.

Jamie: Oh? Why? Are you blushing or something? ;)

Jamie: Friends? I think once you see someone naked--especially more than once--you become a bit more than just friends, no? You know it, you'll be on my arm at all the events, no doubt upstaging me with your beauty. You never make an ass out of yourself, though, give yourself more credit than that.

Jamie: Hah, well thank you, I do what I can. Hey, you and me both- sex is easy for me, affection is not. So you should know I really like you, too.

Jamie: You're right; there's a sky diving place in Long Island. I booked us in for this weekend.

[professorjamie]

imessage 📱⇾ jamie

Pax: Brooooooooooooooooooo

Pax: I got the tux and shoes all ready for next weekend. You?

Pax: We're gonna kill it,, they'll be playing sharp dressed man when we walk in 😉

Jamie: Dude, have you met me? I have a tux at the ready at all times.

Jamie: Fuck yeah, you know we're gonna look amazing.

Jamie: Though, running into Cece now might be... odd... all things considered.

[professorjamie]

TEXT -- CECE

Jamie: it's really good to hear from you, too. i thought you might have blocked my number or something.

Jamie: yeah...

Jamie: well... that's good, i guess. i think?

Cecelia: no, you didn't give me a reason to do that. our decision was mutual, remember?

Cecelia: how have you been?

Jamie: yeah. mutual. no, for sure. but.. feelings and things like this are messy under the best of circumstances so i wouldn't be offended if you had.

Jamie: busy, but in a different kind of way. i accepted a teaching position at NYU, giving the 9-to-5 life a try. and yourself?

[professorjamie]

TEXT -- CECE

Cecelia: hi, jamie. it's actually really good to hear from you.

Cecelia: oh...i see.

Cecelia: i think about you sometimes too, you know.

Jamie: it's really good to hear from you, too. i thought you might have blocked my number or something.

Jamie: yeah...

Jamie: well... that's good, i guess. i think?

[professorjamie]

TEXT -- JOJO

Jo: you are, maybe that's why we get along. you so are into this, aren't you? Are you into roleplaying too? have you ever asked a partner to dress as like, hermione?

Jo:: just for certain things.

Jo: ... it is consensual. i mean... i don't know what i mean anymore, get out of my head sir.

Jo: anytime dude, you know that. we're not only friends, i'm also your biggest fan. i'm this )( close to getting a foam finger that proves it. if skydiving doesn't do the trick, it'll be a good story/experience. i thought you'd never ask. i'll even hold your hand if you get like, vertigo or something.

Jamie: Ew, no, that's too far. I'm into roleplaying as much as the next person, but... not that kind.

Jamie: ;)

Jamie: That's very sweet. Thank you, Joey. Hah! A foam finger. I'll get you one for Christmas, but only if you wear it in public whenever I have a book signing or other event.

Jamie: Perfect, I'll look into a place nearby that we can skydive. And while I don't think you can hold hands with someone and fall out of a plane at the same time, I'm down to try because I'd hold your hand anywhere.

[professorjamie]

@veronicagarcia: RiiIISE anD ShiIiiiNE

@jamieh: Wow, Kylie Jenner; eat your heart out.

[professorjamie]

And I’m Still Hurting.

[professorjamie]

ofvioltts‌:

Violet grew up not knowing what a happy family was, wondering if she’d ever have on of her own. Jamie had made her believe in them from the moment he looked her. Every laugher mother and son shared, every story he begged her to tell and every drawing of his she stuck on the fridge. For so long, she had it firmly set that it was just the two of them. That no one would ever be able to enter their little bubble. Yet before she knew it, Jay had. Before she knew it, Jay was helping Jamie clean up the dishes while giving him bad dating advice. He was standing on the sideline with her son at her acoustic show eight months ago. Before she knew it, Jay was apart of their little family.

A family that was now splintered.

Of course he didn’t believe her. He knew her better than almost anyone. Not every part of her of course, but more than almost anyone else got to see. And she knew him. She knew him so well that it was impossible not to hear the emotion in his voice, to stop it from cutting through her heart like a blade. Turning him away felt like moving a mountain. Hands trembling, she pressed the buzzer again. “I’ll buzz you up.” Four words. Four simple words yet they had taken everything she had to let herself say them. To give into the aching hole inside of her that the man had left. 

Her words were mostly emotionless, but still sharp and worst of all- cold. Four words. Was that all their relationship had come to? While the pleasantries were lost for now, Jamie was hopeful they could be found again. After all, no one stayed broken forever. Things got easier, wounds could heal, and they could find their way back together again. He thought so, anyway. He knew her emotions were valid, often putting himself in her shoes, knowing he would be just as broken and closed off if he were going through something so tragic. But even with all that considered, it still hurt. She was a big part of his life, filling many roles in his heart, and having all of that taken away and lost in an instant came as a shock to his system.

It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that Jamie wasn’t great by himself. He was reckless, leading with blind emotion and letting his heart make all the decisions more often than not. And while that had played a role in his success, sure, he had also been through Hell because of it. But one thing he was great at was caring for others, letting their needs prevail any blind wandering or carelessness. It was healthiest for him when he was surrounded by other people, finding his best work--and mental state--came from friendships or other relationships. When he let someone in, he cared immensely, finally letting himself being taken care of in return- instead of just giving himself away. Violet fit the bill perfectly, and she was one of the healthiest interactions he had ever had. They could be vulnerable together; the two were quite independent on their own, but allowed themselves to soften when they were in each other’s company and be taken care of by someone else. They met each other where they were, and grew together as a couple and individually because of it. She held him accountable, and he was lost without her.

Wordlessly, he walked inside the building, unsure of what even to say to such a statement. He wasn’t sure if she’d even be happy to see him once he got to her door, or maybe, she’d have a change of heart entirely and send him away. The elevator ride was quick and soon he was standing at her front door, knuckles gently rasping against the wood softly as not to wake anyone up in the dead of night. How they had gotten to where they were was hardly a mystery, but maybe if they worked together and put the past aside, they could find a way to be in each other’s stories again.

[professorjamie]

stvrbriight‌:

— vala had come to the party at the request of one of her friends, except, the friend had promptly vanished into the crowd of people. vala had wandered through, had a couple drinks, chatted to a few of the people she recognised. currently, she’d found herself dancing with one of the other models she’d been working with that week, nadia. they danced for a while, until the guy who’d caught nadia’s eye finally walked away from the girl who’d cornered him earlier. vala pushed nadia towards the guy and made her way back to the bar. she’d been about to order a drink when she spotted jamie. smirking, she made her way over. leaning against the bar beside him, she grinned at the bartender, “ i’ll have two more of whatever he’s drinking, ” she said, turning her attention to jamie. “ fancy meeting you here, ” the brunette smirked. @professorjamie​

Parties were part of the package deal for Jamie Huntington. It simply went with the territory. Book signings, press events, photoshoots, and rubbing elbows with some of New York’s higher social circle were all just part of daily life. Not that he minded, however, being a best selling author certainly had its perks. He got to meet interesting people, learn new perspectives, and quite often he found inspiration in moments from his various outings. Whether or not he ever had anything that could be formed to words on the paper for his next book, he still enjoyed being social. Plus, there were plenty of beautiful women around, so these sorts of things were a win-win. It had been a long week, though, and he was nearly ready to head out--taking one last glass from the bartender of whatever top shelf scotch he had on hand--when a soft voice caught his attention. Turning towards the sound, his eyes settled on her figure, giving it a once-over for good measure as he offered her a warm grin. “Well hello again.” He hummed, swirling around the honey-coloured liquid in his glass and taking a long sip. “Long time no see.” After the bartender poured her request, he grabbed the glass and personally handed it over to her. “It’s strong; not sure you’ll like it. Though, I know you can handle your liquor, so we should be safe regardless.” He flirted, teasing her slightly. “How have you been?”