caught up in a wave

Virginia Cho 35. dancer. assistant professor. there's just no other way, that I'm still dancing at the end of the day. if you leave the light on, i'll leave the light on

[profginnycho]

q-wyatt​:

His brow furrowed, fighting back a smile at the compliment that she tagged on at the end. “Sounds to me that maybe you should if you are accusing him of being anything less than professional. Which I assure you, he is. Maybe it’s you that has the bad judgment,” he shrugged the smallest smile breaking out. It wasn’t that the jokes were forced by any means but they didn’t ease the tightness in his chest. All too aware of how different this all was for them. “I’ll never cave enough to ever say that,” he shook his head at her. “But keep dreaming,” he winked at her as they went their separate ways.

Quentin never minded weddings but his favorite ones were always the ones where he was with her. Her commentary on the whole thing, wondering what ideas she pulled for the possibility of them having it all someday. And how sweetly innocent she was affected by the displays of love. It filled him with both admiration and amusement. But today was different as they sat rows apart. He didn’t want to be so selfish to be lost in his own thoughts and heartache, but by accident or fate, his eyes caught hers as he turned. It was like he had no choice but for his eyes to be drawn to her. Usually seeing her in this moment was his favorite thing about the day, but now it hurt as if he were seeing a preview of something he had always wanted but never got. How he always wanted to see her face down the aisle. But it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Yet, in its own way the moment still captivated him.

“Maybe it’s you that has the bad judgment.”

He’d said the words in jest, but they had rung in her mind as everyone stood for the bride’s entrance. Wasn’t it her bad judgment that had them sitting in separate pews now? The reason for the barren spot on their fourth fingers, and the bittered sweetness in their exchanged smiles? It had seemed fated that their eyes would meet in the seconds before she needed to face the front of the room. Even with the rows between them, with other heads filling the spaces, his face was who her gaze had settled on. Her lips held a mustered smile, one she tried to shake through the rest of the ceremony. There were moments where it was easier to forget the heartache. Where she could laugh along with the crowd at the couple’s jokes, smile sweetly at the way the groom looked at his wife. Cheer when the officiant announced their new titles, the sound of applause drowning out whatever sorrow had settled in the pit of her stomach.

But other moments were harder. When her friend rose from their table to go get them drinks, Ginny’s mind couldn’t help but ponder the same line. Maybe it was her that had had the bad judgment, but she had worked hard to make amends. To find a new space for herself in his life. To give him space when he’d asked for it, and take his company when it was allowed. It was why she didn’t seek him out during the reception, stealing conversations and dances with other friends instead. Allowing Quentin to decide when and how their paths would cross again during the evening. If they even would.

[marvelcivilwars]

Jamie Chung - Instagram

[profginnycho]

quentin-wyatt​:

He was so disconnected from her life in a way that he never used to be. They had done this before and yet had always been a part of each other’s lives anyway in some way. It pained him not knowing how her day to day was. To not see how the boys were. He had easily grown fond of them that summer they had together. Now their lives were as separate as they had ever been. Yet, just her small eye roll somehow felt good to see. “Yeah, exactly. She has to have someone to vent about you to. And who better,” he shrugged. “I don’t need to do that if you don’t want me to. I don’t want to overstep.” He wasn’t trying to make things awkward. Just genuinely wanted to respect her and what she needed.

“Seems like the wrong choice if she’s looking for someone to vent with her. I don’t remember you ever having any complaints,” she teased, the words spilling out easily despite the newfound distance between them. Caused by the complaints he did have, even if he wouldn’t call them that. Their last argument continued to sit heavy on her heart, his voice occasionally surfacing on nights spent with her boys. How if she had only chosen to stay together, Quentin would’ve been there with them. Seated beside her during movie nights, stealing glances across the dinner table. Rings resting comfortably on their fourth fingers. It was hard not to notice how different this visit would have been if this had been their home together. “You’re not overstepping; you know you’re always welcome here.” The words were honest, even if seeing him now was difficult. The idea of getting ready for someone else later had caused the pit in her stomach to tighten. “Didn’t you have a really big trial this week? How did that go?”

[profginnycho]

Text | Ginny & Melody

Melody: Trying out best is really the best way to put it. The parenting thing and the whole trying to be cool thing -- both of it. And hey, since when were bubbles uncool??? We totally had bubbles at my wedding instead of confetti since you know, they're cute but also better for the environment too. And all the children got involved by blowing them at us as we walked down the aisle.

Melody: I always walk directly past the watermelons so maybe that's why I've never noticed it.

Ginny: And just trying to make it through the day to day. Wait, that sounds like so much fun. I've always loved the idea of doing sprinklers when the bride and groom leave, but the idea of bubbles at the end of the ceremony before the reception sounds perfect. They're perfect favors too.

Ginny: I'll pack some seedless watermelon for our beach day. Even if you don't like it, Stacey might.

[profginnycho]

quentin-wyatt​:

There were things that Quentin had just learned to accept in his life. One of those things being that he would always love the woman that stood in front of him. The years had taught him there was no shaking that no matter what they were and weren’t. “Oh,” he nodded. “Well if I am not keeping you.” Part of him didn’t want to stay yet he always seemed to linger with her. “You’re just jealous she talks to me more about her secrets,” he smiled. “Yeah she talked about a tea that she liked and they sell it at this market in Chicago.”

She was grateful he hadn’t asked about the dinner, unsure of how she would have handled the question. The choice of calling it a “dinner thing” had brought some guilt. Ginny had decided it was a date; the last texts exchanged between her and Logan signifying how excited she’d been for their plans. To dress up and take turns picking where they would order each of their courses from. But those feelings felt distant now at the sight of Quentin’s smile, her own eyes rolling in response. “I do get more face time with her; makes sense that she would need to schedule sessions to get you all caught up.” His explanation hadn’t helped, the thoughtfulness tugging at her heartstrings. “You know she’s going to ask you to stay for a cup when she gets back.”

[profginnycho]

Text | Ginny & Joe

Joe: I won't forget the conversation it's saved in my phone. And just because you said that, I pinned this conversation lol.

Joe: We are Religious serious. I mean we do small easter egg hunts for the little kids but it's more than that. If you like chocolate milk it's almost like you are drinking a glass of chocolate milk.

Ginny: Dang it. Maybe something more important will come up in the next couple months that'll be worth pinning; it'll bump my text down the list and you might forget then

Ginny: My family isn't too religious, but we do go for Easter Mass. And then we'll all kind of congregate in one home, do a potluck, egg hunt, pass out sweets. Huh..chocolate milk but with beer.

[profginnycho]

Text | Ginny & Melody

Melody: Yeah, there's always been a part of me that's wanted to have children and have a family. In fact, James and I were actually talking bout starting our own when everything happened so... Considering you and I are both mom friends? I'm not so sure how reassuring that actually is either. Yes, exactly! I mean, you can never be too old for bubbles, right?

Melody: Oh, she is DEFINITELY missing out big time! I've heard about seedless watermelons before but I am yet to come across this rare breed. I don't know. Watermelons just don't spark the same joy as strawberries do for me.

Ginny: I think it's something I thought about when I was younger, but then I got busy with school and moved around a lot and it didn't seem like something that would happen for me. So having my boys was a really big unexpected blessing. And it seems like Stacey was for you too. There's no way that I could correct you without making myself seem even more uncool. We're trying our best, that's hard enough without needing to be cool on top of it all. Being excited about bubbles probably isn't helping our street cred though.

Ginny: They're pretty common - what grocery stores are you shopping at? I think I'm usually the opposite. I could snack on watermelon all day without getting tired of it.

[profginnycho]

Text | Ginny & Joe

Joe: That sounds like a good idea, but I'm sure it'll be great Gin. I know you can pay for them, but it would be my treat and honor to do it. For your sisters birthday!

Joe: We do celebrate Easter it's a very serious holiday back home. I actually am heading to New York for the holiday this year. Thank you, he was a great guy. Yeah he was excited for me to open it back in San Diego but I just felt like this was more fitting for his memory. I actually have a beer named after him called the Grant's Fancy it's a milk stout his favorite.

Ginny: That's so kind of you. I'm going to hope you forget about this conversation by the time the day rolls around, so I can just order the cheeseboard like any other customer.

Ginny: Religious serious or egg hunt serious? How all do you celebrate? Ooh, I'll need to try that one the next time I drop in. What makes it different than the other milk stouts on your menu?

[profginnycho]

Text || Adriana & Ginny

Adriana: I never really saw the point of crushing it up and putting it in things like biscuits either. It barely even has a taste. There's not a whole lot of peace and quiet in my life so I think I'll take what I can. Oh no, don't even worry about it. I'll probably have my head so buried in my work, I won't even be looking at my phone.

Ginny: Or sprinkling them onto things like donuts; they add a weird texture that isn't always needed. I can definitely leave you to it, maybe text you in the morning to see how far you got. Good luck!

[ sometime the following afternoon ]

Ginny: How late did you end up staying awake last night?

[profginnycho]

Text | Ginny & Melody

Melody: Don't get me wrong - she loves Stacey but I don't know if kids are her thing? And she's my first child, even more so, she's the only piece of James I've still got left so really, I just want to spend as much time as possible with her as I can especially before she gets older and too cool to hang out with her mom. I mean, let's face it -- I'm not the coolest person in the world. It's totally going to happen. But thank you, I really do hope I am balancing it all properly. Least, I'm trying to. Hmmm, we could meet half way and substitute for blowing bubbles on the beach?

Melody: I think strawberries are in almost everyone's top summer fruit. And Stacey is a total blueberry eating fiend. I'm not a huge fan of watermelon though. It's just like eating water and if I really wanted to, I feel like I'd just drink a glass of water instead of going through the hassle of spitting all those seeds out.

Ginny: Were they your thing before you had Stacey? And it's totally okay if they won't ever be her thing, but sometimes that's a feeling you grow into. Stacey's still so young too, so there's an element of like, wanting to take that time to learn everything about her. That's kind of how I feel about my boys, anyways; they're older, but because they've only been with me for a few years, I feel like there's a whole lifetime of information there for me to learn about them still. I think you're cool, but I'm not sure how reassuring that actually is. Blowing bubbles on the beach sounds perfect. Sounds like a great time for us too.

Ginny: My friend Mia's allergic to them, and I truly think she's missing out. I think kids usually love blueberries more than adults do, but I hear they're really good if you freeze them first. Oh no, I'm sorry, who doesn't like watermelon? You can get them seedless! And secondly, it's totally different than drinking a glass of water.

[profginnycho]

quentin-wyatt​:

They knew each other well and so he noticed the smile being a bit strained. He had never felt more distant from her than these past months. “Oh no that is okay. You clearly are getting ready so I won’t take up your time.”

It was almost cruel the way the universe would remind her of him whenever she felt like she might be able to move forward. To let go of the future they had planned all those years ago. “I have a dinner thing later,” she explained, feeling her cheeks burn up as she gestured towards herself. “But it’s not for a couple of hours.” That, and she was incapable of not making time for him. Even now, there was a part of her that selfishly wanted him to stay. “Did she ask you to bring something or..? I swear that woman is really secretive about your friendship.”

[profginnycho]

Texts | Ginny & Bridget

Bridget: Sounds good to me just let me know whenever you wake up and actually are awake, not doing that wake up and fall asleep again and again thing

Bridget: I definitely haven't. I think Wisconsin has so many cute things we could definitely go up there. Oh.. well I don't want to crash your guys weekend like that! And do you have two weekends you could take away? Probably not

Ginny: I will text you when I'm awake awake. If you haven't eaten yet, we can do breakfast. My pancake game is getting slightly better. We're not quite at Q's level, but give it a couple years and maybe they'll outdo his

Ginny: We were thinking Milwaukee with the kids, but you and I could always go ourselves and visit some of the breweries out there. I'm not usually a beer gal, but Joe is very slowly converting me. You definitely wouldn't be crashing! And I could try and make it work, depending on the weekend.

[profginnycho]

Text | Ginny & Melody

Melody: Don't listen to Andrea. She's always trying to get me out and about because apparently I don't have a life anymore. I don't think she realizes that my life now means that I want to spend as much time with Stacey as I can get. She's probably too young to understand anything in a museum but she's definitely going to get excited if we point out fish and a couple of sea turtles so the aquarium does sound like a good idea!

Melody: I'm sorry -- who even are you?? Don't tell me you hate other summer fruits too. Strawberries? Blueberries?

Ginny: This was something I struggled with a lot with my friends when I first adopted the boys. I think they took me spending time with them as something I had to do versus something I really love doing. I feel like her concerns are coming from a good place; she's maybe worried about you not resting or doing things you used to enjoy, but I think you're doing a great job of balancing all of those things. Oh, I was thinking the children's museum, so it's a lot of bubbles, shapes, fun bright colors. Just sensory play things for her to touch and have fun with, but I don't know if that might be overwhelming for her at this age?

Ginny: Gosh no, I'm not a monster. Strawberries are in my top 3 favorites, alongside watermelon and mango. Blueberries I like in breakfast or baked goods but on their own? They're not my favorite.

[profginnycho]

Texts | Ginny & Bridget

Bridget: Yeah that would be great, I don't think there's really anything on my to do list. I was going to try and relax anyway.

Bridget: I think that sounds perfect and easy. It doesn't have to be some big elaborate thing to be fun and relaxing you know?

Ginny: I'll be getting in late tonight, but I'm free tomorrow if you wanted to drop by? I've got a stack of dvds we could rewatch.

Ginny: Exactly; there's so much close by that I'm sure none of us have explored, that it might be worth it to do a couple day trips. Her and I are talking about going somewhere we could bring the kids to, but you and I could plan something without the boys if you wanted a quiet weekend away?

[profginnycho]

quentin-wyatt​:

@profginnycho​

“Sorry to stop by unannounced. I was actually just dropping something off for your mom.”

Whatever nerves she had been feeling for her date later seemed to go into overdrive seeing Quentin standing on their porch; the smile that would normally grace her lips feeling a little forced now. She’d just barely gotten out of the shower, towel drying her hair as she spoke. “She’ll be bummed that she missed you. Her and my dad are out grabbing lunch, but they should be back soon enough,” Ginny offered. “If you wanted to wait.”

[profginnycho]

Text || Vienna & Ginny

Vienna: If you're willing to splurge on the extra money, you could always get an interior designer to help you. Oh definitely Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. That was definitely a guilty pleasure show especially since they were helping out people who really, really needed it. It was just a feel good show all around. Although, my living room makeover definitely isn't anywhere near on the same scale. It's just as well I haven't got white carpet in the living room otherwise I would be way too afraid to drink red wine.

Ginny: I don't know if you've met Chloe Miller? She's helped with a couple projects around our home. I think the last one was helping renovate the upstairs shared bathroom for the boys. The colors in there needed some livening up. Oh man, that was a good one. The reveal was always so exciting? I always thought it was a little funny that they designed entire bedrooms off of what felt like passing comments between the team and the family..like how every daughter got a bedroom that was nearly a stable. I'm sure yours is still cute V! And if all else fails, we'll just get a nice rug and cover it up.

[profginnycho]

Text | Ginny & Melody

Melody: Well hey, as long as you don't have any students banging on your door then why not? And you're kidding if you think I'm parting with Stace. She's barely a toddler -- I am definitely not giving up on any time watching her grow. It'd be fun to bring the boys too.

Melody: Chocolate and raspberry is a pretty heavenly combination if that answers it for you.

Ginny: It could've been spent grading but I think my brain just needed a break. I would love to have Stacey come with us. Andrea did offer to babysit, so that option's there if you wanted a weekend on your own. But being able to make those memories with her seems so sweet. There's an aquarium and different children's museums we could take her to that I think she'd enjoy.

Ginny: I just talked about this with someone the other day; I don't know if I like raspberries. I want to, but I don't think I've ever liked it in something.