Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs
People in my notes who think I’m repressed or dissociating: you will feel better when you learn emotions are not a binary of Not Feeling It vs Being Overwhelmed By It
Every once in a while, I need to outwardly state that my being kind is a choice. Not just to remind people that they are also capable of making that choice but to warn the person prodding the wasp nest that is my patience that it would be far easier to not continue making that choice. I could just go apeshit, brother.
It's hard to be the calm one in any situation, especially when the other people involved just want to be upset. Especially when you ALSO want to just be upset. But being able to understand that emotion and feel it while still being rational and functioning normally is just good emotional regulation! It isn't dissociating or "not feeling", it's a conscious skill you have to practice.
I like to think of myself as a calm and rational person. This is at least partially because I'm low empathy and I don't have that emotional influence from other people being upset about things, so it's really just my own internal shit that bubbles up, but I have therapy to help me regulate that. But it's also a conscious effort to be kind DESPITE low empathy making it harder to care when it doesn't personally affect me. Even if I don't benefit directly from being kind, it matters to the people who need that kindness, and I do want other people to be happy.
Being kind is a choice and I fully believe that it is a choice for EVERYONE who is kind, even the people it seems to come easy to on the surface. Which is what makes it so wonderful that so many people in the world are kind.





















