Whispers From Your Last Honest Abe @progressterone - Tumblr Blog

I am the sole stranded survivor of hurricane tortilla

I ate a time machine berry and it made me turn widdershins

" do you want me to pause the movie babe?" Um.... No I'm good.

Then 2012 fossilized Twinkie 1000 hour dunk

Adam Driver is a very wicked man. Something must be done.

Scientists have discovered a way to make silent whoopie cushions. The results are 100% lethal.

Guy who thinks talking about something means endorsing it when you ask him if murder is bad: oh my god. You're the killer.

"Do you know what you are? Ungrateful. That's the word for what you are."

"Connor! Fuck me harder."

"im cumming lieutenant"

"I found the snail in every episode of adventure time!"

Fuck you

"I found all 150 hidden Mickeys in Season 3, Episode 24, (George Goes to Disneyland) of the George Lopez show

I love you

*seeing a child with a ukulele for the first time:*

"What? Your electric libtar?"

I think all bald people are nonbinary because they're not growing 1's or 0's up there

*Notices my toilet smells like a corpse:

Those animals. They did it. They laced my shit

This is all a distraction from Russia has a cyber drawing of me with my penis

It's messed up that you only get to publicly show off the animals you make out of cum if you're a parent

Mitch McConnell murder in real life 2026 YouTube gaming Livestream (Upcoming!)

The rocks contract says he can never eat shit unless he geets "the girl" in the end

Away with you. To my easy bake dungeon.

Whispers From Your Last Honest Abe