Whispers From Your Last Honest Abe @progressterone - Tumblr Blog

To all those who still support this dream even after my very credible allegations, thank you

I beat Metroid in less than 5 seconds and Samus showed me her butt cheek

#metroid #samus aran

If you give a mouse your cookie he's going to want to milk

Nocturnal bumping spiders, and other things that go bump in the night

#horror

Colorado Steel: Tales From the Longmont Shrimp Farm

#Longmont Colorado

Heartbreaking: Robbie Williams found dead in his enclosure

#robbie williams #better man

People always say that a story or a song or a prophecy "came to them in a dream." Why don't people ever say that about like, their last crochet project. "I was wearing this sweater in a dream"

#crochet

*sonic cashier meeting me at the drive through window after 15 minutes*

"Hi! I'm so sorry for the wait. The pig they're making your hot dog with is still having his last meal. It's the damnedest thing, but it asked for one billion Cheerios."

I really hope those people speedrunning scientology facilities do Mormon temples next

#exmo #lds church #scientology

Democrats have successfully generated hurricanes from the great salt lake

#salt lake city #utah #utah jazz #murray utah

I don't... *Gun quavers in my hands* I don't know. I don't know which one to shoot.

#the smurfs #scooby doo

He thinks he has aura but he looks 12. Bro has Dora aura

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #star platinum

Starting my horrible plagiarized passion project with "To the boy who lived: thank you for teaching me magic"

Went to McDonald's and ordered the Blippi Harlem Shake. Ice cream machine

Before even Adam and Eve, god made a guy named Kent. God thought Kent was super interesting, but didn't really get what his deal was or how he worked. To rectify this, god took Kent and a magnifying glass to a really sunny spot

Anyway, Adam and Eve were the first people

Fine. I'll take my punishment sprite.

#-_-

Skyrim Loading Screen: All of the Sarah's died out during COVID 19

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Whispers From Your Last Honest Abe