adam driver loved ben solo so much that he teamed up with steven soderbergh to write a ben solo movie set after tros to the bring him back and complete the character's arc but it was turned down by disney and now that it's long dead he's telling us about it
you've been my muse for a long time, you get me through every dark night ☾
synopsis: you weren't quite a part of the resistance, but you definitely didn't agree with the order, and certainly not with the brooding, terrifying leader. since you found out the truth about your lineage, you'd been drifting through the galaxy, running away from a life you were scared to live. through it all was the insistent, haunting voice, rattling around in your skull.
warnings: smut, improper use of the force, enemies to lovers but kinda a secret third thing, speaking/touching through the force, choking, f masturbation mentioned, kinda fighting for dominance, arguing, lots of angst, pain mentioned, vague dubcon but not noncon at any point, really rough idk, spitting, violence, mentions of death, healing, breeding kink, size kink, oral both receiving
wc: 5.5k
notes: idk what possessed me to re-enter my kylo phase but sure i hope you guys don't hate this! also the plot is lowkey reylo.. oops
you were good at running. the galaxy had taught you early on that speed and distance were better shields than allegiance, and you’d worn that lesson into your bones. ships, jobs, faces; they blurred together. what stayed constant was the refusal to choose, and the refusal to give in, to let your last name and heritage dictate your life story. no resistance, no order, no destiny. you told yourself you were free, except for him. the voice had been a splinter at first, static when you tried to sleep, the impression of someone else’s breath in your lungs. you ignored it until ignoring became impossible, until it hurt. the bond punished you when you shut it out too long, a sharp ache in your chest, ribs threatening to cave, veins buzzing like they were filled with sparks. once, you’d gone nearly three days without acknowledging it, only to collapse on your ship’s floor, choking. when you gasped his name into the dark, the pain stopped instantly. he liked that.
"you can't escape me," his voice was heavy in your mind, weighing down on your sternum, threatening to crush your chest, "even when you try," you hated how your body reacted, hated that your skin heated under his attention, hated that you sometimes whispered back. nights were often worse. the bond thrummed hot, insistent. you were in your bunk, a thin blanket tangled around your legs, ship humming quiet. you tried to push him out, tried to think of nothing at all. the pain came sharp, like teeth pressing behind your ribs. "fuck," you hissed, clutching your chest. his satisfaction rolled in like a tide. "crying for me?" he mocked, echoing in your mind. "go to hell," "oh, darling, we both know you'd follow,"
you learned quickly that distance didn’t matter. planets, systems, hyperspace lanes, none of it dulled the bond. sometimes you caught him on the edge of your vision, standing on the bridge of the finalizer, surrounded by officers who didn’t dare breathe too loudly. you could feel his control, the way he injected his fury into every beat of silence. other times, he slipped into your mind when you were drinking in some seedy cantina, pretending you were ordinary. once, when you tried to block him out, the bond burned until your knees hit the durasteel floor of your ship. "stop fighting me," he growled, resonating in your thoughts, in your bones. "just leave me alone," you forced back, feeling it ripple through the bond, satisfied as you felt your anger seep into him. your paths began crossing in the flesh, too. twice in the span of a month, he cornered you at ports, eyes sharp beneath that terrifying mask. he never drew his saber, never arrested you, never killed you. just stood there, breathing like a storm, before letting you go. and every time, the bond sang louder.
one night, while you were bathing, you felt him slip in, his presence brushing your skin like phantom fingers. you gasped, covering yourself though there was no one there. "stop it," you snarled aloud. he didn’t. the bond pulsed as though he were dragging his gaze down your body, as though he could see every droplet of water clinging to you. the ache in your chest sharpened until you gave in. "fine," you spat, spreading your legs in the steaming water, "you want to watch? then watch," his answering groan made your thighs clench. you could see him in your mind, his intense eyes dark, his lips flush as he dug his teeth into the flesh. after that, it became a game. sometimes you touched yourself just to spite him, to flood the bond with sensation until his control cracked. sometimes he answered back, dragging you to the edge without a hand, forcing your body to obey his will across light years. it was sick, but it was intoxicating.
the third time he cornered you in person, he spoke. no mask, just eyes black as empty space and a voice that crawled down your spine, unnerved you. "they’re weak," he said, "the resistance. they’ll break. the order is rotting from the inside out, but you and me," his hand twitched, like he wanted to touch you, to reach out, "we could be something else entirely," you laughed in his face, "me and you? i’d rather die," but your chest burned when you tried to turn away, the bond tightening like a noose. "as if i would let you die," he hissed, "as if you could get away from me that easily," in a blink, he was gone, leaving you trembling and strangely cold. that night, you started another stint of running, more than you ever had before.
the order began to notice. there were whispers on the bridge, officers exchanging glances when their commander froze, head tilted like he was listening to someone they couldn’t hear. general hux smirked openly, sneering about phantoms and ghosts. once, he muttered your name within earshot. kylo nearly cut him in half. his obsession was no longer subtle. he searched for you between missions, ordered scouts to chase rumors. he never admitted it aloud, not to them. only to you. you haunted him, late at night when he was alone, his skin burning, aching to touch you, to have you. he closed his eyes, your face playing on a loop, searing into his mind.
you tried, one last time, to shut him out completely. you'd put all of your focus into it, wishing him away. the pain was immediate. your lungs felt as if they had collapsed, your ribs screamed, your skull felt like it was cracking in two. you clawed at the floor of your ship, gasping. far away, you felt him drop too, on his knees in the middle of the bridge, officers recoiling. you both surrendered at the same time. "enough," you sobbed, shaking and afraid. "come to me," it echoed through your head, swimming in the currents of agony. you should have run, should have given it one last try. instead, you set a course.
the finalizer swallowed your ship whole. stormtroopers dragged you to him, straight to his quarters, but you were already trembling, the bond clawing like fire under your skin. he dismissed the guards with a flick of his hand. the moment the door shut, you broke. you were shouting, spitting, fury sharp on your tongue, "you ruined my life, you- you monster!" he slammed you against the wall, his breath hot, his body vibrating with restraint. "you think i want this?" he growled, "you think i asked for it? you’re in me. every second, every breath. do you think i don’t hate it too?" you glared at him, gathering all you could muster and spitting at his face, watching it land just above his lip. he snarled, and you watched with wide eyes as his gloved thumb collected the liquid, dragging it to his mouth, lips wrapping around leather. "you think fighting makes you strong," he growled, "it doesn't. it makes you pathetic and disillusioned enough to believe you could possibly hurt me,"
you opened your mouth to scream, to tell him to let you go, to threaten him, but were met with a white hot searing pain in your head, pulsing behind your eyes. "i know exactly who you are," his voice filled your mind, though his lips didn't move, "i know exactly what you're capable of, palpatine. what a shame it is, generations coming to fall beneath my hand, all because i've weakened you. tell me, when you're afraid, is it me that you picture? or do i fill your thoughts when you dream of salvation?" "you have no idea what i'm capable of," you spat through gritted teeth, "as if i could ever imagine you and salvation coexisting. you are to be my damnation, ren, and i will not allow it," you gathered up every ounce of strength you possessed, tearing away from his force hold, every thread of the bond protesting as you forced him against the wall, your hands trembling and jaw clenched tight. you held him there, nearly delighted in the way his breath quickened, but then he was laughing, loud and deep.
you startled, your grip on the force slipping, and he took his opportunity to surge towards you, eyes gleaming, "you think you could hurt me?" he snapped, "any power you hold is power i've allowed you to have, darling. you think because you have your grandfather's abilities that makes you special?" he took a step closer, boots echoing on the durasteel, "i am, and will remain, the most powerful man in any galaxy. you are strong, yes, but you are foolish. i could fix that. i plan to fix that," you started towards him, and you were flung to the far wall, your breath knocked from your lungs with a strangled gasp. "you're making me do this," he said, sounding almost regretful, "things could be easy, if you would just behave," "i will never submit to you," you snarled, "i'll die fighting if i must," "oh, darling," he tsk'd, "i have seen visions of your future, of ours. you have no idea how untrue that statement is,"
you opened your mouth to speak, only for the air to be taken from your lungs once again, a shadow of pressure tightening around your throat. "give in," he cooed, almost mocking, "let me show you what it could be like, my darling," goosebumps rose on your skin as invisible touch ghosted over you, snaking beneath your clothes, cold against your skin. he released your throat as you teetered on dizziness, blood rushing back to your head, choked coughs leaving you. "i can hear your heart beating," he said, "you're not afraid of me. you're afraid of how desperately you yearn for me," you shuddered at the pressure building between your thighs, fighting against it, "i will never want you. you're a monster, a murderer-"
"you think i have not seen what you've done?" he laughed harshly, "you have scorned people, hurt them, killed them, all to escape your fanatical destiny. it's absurd," "i did what i had to do!" you nearly screamed, the lights of his chambers flickering against the force. "yes, as have i," he seemed pleased, almost, "we are one and the same, as you would know if you would stop your incessant fighting, your needless running. i know you better than you know yourself, my star, and it thrills me," "you know nothing about me," you argued, but you knew deep down that he was right, because really, you knew him just as well, "i should kill you, right here," "darling, if you were going to kill me, you'd have done it already. you have been unbound since i released you, yet you haven't even tried, because you know you would regret it,"
you faltered, moving and realizing you'd done so freely. you opened your palm, satisfied when the cool steel of your saber met your skin, red light humming to life as your fingers clasped around it. you met kylo's eyes, but he was unmoved, seemingly unaffected. "you won't kill me," he said simply, watching as you stepped closer, "though this is quite entertaining," you didn't reply, just raised your weapon, swinging towards him. in the blink of an eye, his saber roared to life in his hand, coming to meet yours, two red lights clashing. "i don't want to fight you," he said over the buzz of light, "don't make me hurt you," "i thought it was entertaining," you mocked, jerking your saber away to swing for him again. "fine," he spat, "we'll do it your way, darling,"
the two of you fought, hand over hand, sabers clashing and boots scuffing against steel, occasional grunts leaving his flushed lips. "i hate you," you practically screamed, swinging your arm. he misstepped, faltered, and in a flurry of movement, your saber grazed his chest, tearing through his suit, tearing skin. he collapsed, and for a moment, panic seized your heart, halted your breathing. "get up," you demanded, eyeing him skeptically, "ren, get up," when he didn't reply, when you could no longer see his chest moving, you fell to your knees beside him, eyes wide, hands trembling, "kylo?" for one terrible, agonizing moment, you thought he'd died, that you'd killed him. you couldn't hear him, couldn't feel him in your veins, could only feel the bone chilling, hollowed out pain of what you assumed was your severed bond.
you felt for a pulse, and were indescribably relieved to be met with a slow heartbeat. you thought, for a moment, that you could leave him there. you could run, flee the ship, leave him bleeding for someone else to deal with. before you could entertain it any further, your hands seemed to be working on their own, palms humming with energy as you ran them along the wound on his chest, watching your life force flow into him, the skin fusing shut. "i knew you cared," his voice filled your head, and you gasped, eyes flickering to his face to be met with open, dark eyes. "i thought i killed you," you exhaled breathily. "so you were giving your life to save mine?" his gloved hand caught your wrist when you moved to turn away, "yet you insist you hate me, that you want me dead. you could not live without me, my star. we are a dyad in the force. we must remain,"
"i was doing the right thing," you hated how weak you suddenly sounded, "that's all," "i can feel your life flowing through my veins," he took a deep breath, closing his eyes as if in bliss, "it- you- feels fucking incredible," he summoned you closer, face inches from yours, "give in to this, to us. it will feel indescribable, you know it as well as i do. pleasure unrivaled by anything in this universe or any other," "this is wrong," you murmured, eyes flickering to his lips, "the bond is purely incidental, it doesn't mean anything," "lies," his voice rose, "you feel it just as much as i do. i can see it written all over you, darling. you cannot lie to me," "you're deranged," you argued, "i just nearly killed you, and you're asking me to-" "oh, my star, don't you see? that only makes me ache for you more," he almost groaned it, leather gloves settling at the nape of your neck, pulling you closer, "give in. come to me,"
you told yourself you were just worn down, tired of fighting, tired of running. a million excuses rushed through your mind, all to cover and deny your most volatile, inescapable truth. he was a part of you, and you were desperate to keep him, hungry to have more of him. after what felt like a lifetime of hiding, you finally gave in, finally revealed yourself in a way you'd spent years ashamed of. you kissed him, rough and fast, hands fisted in the collar of his suit. he groaned against your lips, surging against you, kissing you hungrily. your hair fell around the two of you in a curtain as you leaned over him, his back to the floor. "you're not in charge here, darling," his voice rang out in your mind, and you huffed in surprise as he rolled you, pinning your back to the cold steel, hot kisses peppering your jawline before his lips slotted against yours once more. you wound your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, the kiss deepening until your teeth gnashed.
the cold air of the room met your skin as the force tore your robes open, your skin pebbling with goosebumps. he pulled away from the kiss, trailing his lips down your jaw, then to your chest. "i have dreamed of this," he sounded wrecked as he pulled the remnants of your top off, leaving you fully bare, "you have no idea the things i have done to you in my mind," he nipped at the skin of your breast, "though i suppose you have fantasies of your own. i've seen the way you've fucked yourself on your fingers," your skin heated, and started to fumble for a witty retort, but then he was dragging down your pants and underwear, shoving your thighs apart. "i bet you taste like honey," he murmured, "let me see for myself, darling?" "yes," you nodded feverishly, nearly panicked with how badly you wanted him, "yes, please," "how beautifully you submit to me," he praised, eyes catching yours as he settled between your legs, pupils blown.
he licked a wide stripe up your core, sighing at the taste, eyes closing and lashes brushing his cheeks as he melted into you. he laved at you like he was starving, losing himself in the taste of you, in the sounds tearing from your throat. you arched your back, wincing as the durasteel bit at your exposed skin, and he faltered. "you're hurt," filled your mind, "the floor?" "i'm fine," you said aloud, "please, don't stop," "can't have you hurt before i'm even done with you," he murmured, shifting until he was lying beside you, chest heaving, "here, sit," "no-" "come here," he insisted, pulling at your wrist, "perhaps you can put that argumentative mouth to use while i have my fun with you, hm?" you nodded, suddenly lost for words as you moved to straddle his face, your face hovering inches from the bulge in his pants. he reached around you to unbuckle them in one motion, seemingly unbothered by the reach, loosening them enough for you to push them down without complaint. then, he settled back on your core, the new angle leaving you gasping immediately.
you fumbled with his pants, finally pushing them down, his cock flushed and hard, just inches from your lips. you ran your hand along his length before finally taking him into your mouth, struggling to accommodate to his size, tongue running along his veins as you took him in deeper. he moaned into you, sucking your clit into his mouth, relentless in his pursuit of your pleasure. you felt that familiar invisible force at the back of your head, guiding you as you choked on his cock, drooling around him. his hands dug into the flesh of your ass as he pulled you harder against his face, tongue pushing inside you, exploring you. you moaned around him, clenching down, your orgasm approaching dizzyingly fast. you pumped what you couldn’t fit with your hand, hollowing your cheeks to suck him in deeper, moaning incessantly, though it was muffled. you pulled away, a string of spit connecting you to his skin, “close,” you managed, breathless and raspy, “fuck, kylo,” “let go for me,” echoed in your head as you took him back into your mouth, lapping at his tip, clenching around his tongue. you came with a muffled near scream, and he fucked up into your mouth as he guided you through it, working you perfectly until you were trembling on his face. he pulled back, tapping your hip, and you whined as you pulled off of his cock, climbing off of him on shaky legs. “bed,” he murmured, gesturing to the other room. “couldn’t have mentioned that before?” you mumbled, and he shot you a look, as if he was challenging you to say more.
you stepped into his bedroom, glancing around, but your curiosity was cut short when he pushed you to the bed, standing above you, one hand stroking your chin. “you still have gloves on,” you caught the tip of one finger in your teeth, and were surprised when he didn’t stop you, didn’t protest. you pulled it off slowly, tossing it aside, and he placed a fingertip to your lips, allowing you to shed him of the other. his hands were beautiful, thick fingers and blue veins, and you found yourself parting your lips again even after the glove was removed, inviting him to explore. he placed his thumb against your tongue, and you latched your lips around it, sucking him into your mouth with a satisfied hum. “good girl,” he murmured, his free hand reaching between your thighs once again, trailing through the sticky mess, “let me fuck you, darling. you’ve made me wait long enough,” you nodded, hazy with lust and dizzy from intensity, letting him slip between your legs and push them towards your chest, spreading you open for him.
“so pretty,” he praised, running his tip along your clit, “you can’t even comprehend how beautiful you are to me,” you let yourself believe it, let your mind drink in his praising, let yourself fall further into this all consuming chasm that you’d been teetering on. he pushed inside of you, tantalizingly slow, letting you feel every inch as he filled you. “oh,” you clenched around him, trying to relax, to let him in, “god, you’re so big,” “look at you,” he ground out, “all stretched out around me. i could break you,” you thought, distantly, that he already had. he pounded into you, hands digging at the backs of your thighs as he held your legs still, breath ragged and sharp. “please,” you managed, unsure what you were even begging for anymore, squeezing down on his cock with every motion of his hips. “please what?” his voice appeared in your head, his mouth busy as he dug his teeth into his bottom lip, “i’ll do anything you ask, darling,” you broke off into a moan, his sudden saccharine sweetness only adding to the wetness between your thighs. “you like that? you like when i’m sweet to you?” he panted, voice hoarse, the sound unfamiliar but welcome to your ears. “yes,” you nodded, quick and desperate, “so good,” “i know, star,” he sounded pitying, cloying, “you can take it, can’t you?” you nodded again, though you weren’t sure you could for much longer.
he slowed his thrusts, burying himself so deep you could see the indentation in the flat of your stomach, your eyes rolling back as he hit that spot deep inside you. “look at that,” he hummed, breathing shaky, “can see myself inside you. how beautiful,” and then he was pounding into you once more, knocking the breath from your lungs. you felt a warm, curling pressure against your clit, but both of his hands remained on your legs, holding you open. “fuck,” you choked out, the force grinding against your swollen, aching nerves, swirling in time with his hips, “oh, kylo,” “ben,” he managed, voice cracking in a deliriously delicious way, “call me ben,” this piqued your curiosity, added to the deepening bond between you, and you took it to heart, stored it away in your mind. “ben, please,” you mewled, “so close, please,” “oh, fuck me,” he growled, hips snapping against yours, “that’s it, darling girl, come on, make a mess of me,” he increased the pressure of the force, and then you were falling over the edge, vision blinking in and out as you came, entire body shaking beneath him.
“good fuckin’ girl,” he panted, twitching inside you, “gonna fuck you full, gonna make you mine forever. you’re gonna take it so good, aren’t you?” when you only nodded, he tapped your face, just enough to get your attention, “say it, baby. tell me you’ll take it,” “i’ll take it,” your voice cracked, and you sounded unfamiliar to your own ears, so lost in the moment, “i’ll take whatever you give me,” “damn right you will,” he sounded distinctly pleased, and then you felt a light pressure on your throat again, warming you as you recalled earlier in the evening, “look at me,” he demanded, “want to see your face when i fill you up,” you watched as he came unraveled, his jaw slack, eyes darker than you’d ever seen them, low, guttural sounds leaving his swollen lips as he came, spreading warmth throughout you. “oh,” his head tipped back, and he swallowed down breaths, chest heaving, “incredible. you’re incredible,” you hummed, watching him attempt and fail to compose himself, before he eventually collapsed beside you on the bed, sweat slick and warm.
“you’re going to be such a beautiful queen,” he murmured, voice raspy, “we’re going to change the galaxies forevermore,” “i never agreed-“ “lies,” he cut you off, tsking, “i thought we agreed no more lies, my darling. i’ll take care of you. we’ll be the most powerful people in the universe, or any other we happen upon, hm? don’t you want that?” you couldn’t ignore the silent question hanging in the air - don’t you want me? - but you tried anyway. “i told you i wanted no part of the order,” you said calmly, though you felt panicked, trapped. “no, my star. no order. only us,” he met your eyes, his fingers sliding to cup your jaw, “it will only ever be us. we don’t need to confine ourselves to order or resistance. they will bow down to the strongest, most tangible power. that which flows between us will be unrivaled by any other creation,” “i don’t want to lord over anyone,” you snapped, attempting to break free from his uncharacteristically soft grasp. “no, no,” he said quickly, almost desperately, “you’ll see it. maybe not now, but you’ll see,” he said it like a promise, like damnation, like his own twisted salvation, “stay with me tonight, darling. we don’t have to discuss it anymore,” you fell asleep next to him easier than you’d ever admit, safe and warm, the bond satiated. you dreamt of ruling, side by side with him, of power the likes of which no one had ever seen. it pleased you, the thought of being feared, of being recognized. when you woke, it was the first thing on your mind.
