Stargate Musings

My thoughts as I watch my way through the Stargate universe (well, other than, Stargate: Universe, that is). Presented in the style of the old Fringedweller's Guide.

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S02E05 - Need

So, my life went kind of bananas over the past several months.  I moved!  I got a new job!  But I'm back, and I'm picking up where I left off.  Probably with a less intense schedule, though.  And by probably, I mean definitely.

This standoff stacks so hilariously.  First the jaffa, then SG-1, then more jaffa.

Hmm… You know, Jack, I might hold back a little more about telling people your planet is goa'uld free.  Say you're ruled by the queen “Columbia” or something.

Nice, throw, Teal'c!

Her beaded thingy is really cool.  I kind of love it.

This planet clearly takes its shoulder-pad cues from the Romulan Star Empire.  Sheesh.

So, the sarcophagus heals Daniel's clothes, but not his eyesight?

“Isn't this spendid?”  I mean, it looks like WashinIgton state, which is nice I suppose, if you excluded literally every urban area in it. I'm not sure I'd go splendid.

I'm kind of surprised that Jack didn't punch him in the face right there.

Ooh! New entry in the silly hat contest!

LOL, Daniel how can you be surprised?  People do get killed for knowing state secrets like this, you know.

“Should I not have done that?”  “No!”  What do you mean “No,” Daniel?  She doesn't look like Shau're.

Daniel is super high in this scene.  It's amazing.

Oh, she's got one of those dresses that you don't wear so much as you stand inside of it.

This part of the episode where they're on the planet really drags.  Which is weird because the plot is kinda interesting, but good grief it's boring.

I do quite like the idea that tanning beds make you evil, though.

General Hammond thinking, “I am gonna court martial that man and I won't feel the least bit bad about it.”

Sam wasn't even trying to prove her point that well.

The detox section of this episode isn't exactly award-winning television either.

Where ya' trying to go, Daniel?  You know they'll never let you out the gate.

Aw! She's throwing away her drugs destroying the sarcophagus!

Don't do drugs, kids.

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S02E04 - The Gamekeeper

Poor Daniel.

That squiggly logo thing is so weird.  Why is there a logo?

Well put, Jack.

Attack furniture!  Very exciting.

Teal'c seems more disturbed by the missing tatoo than anything else.

Jack living through this over and over is genuine nightmare fuel.

Not that Daniel's is much better.

Ah, yes, the robe-ly people.

Reginald Barclay?

Daniel makes a good attempt here with the "I hurt myself" thing.

That's weird watching him appear as the museum lady there.

The squiggle things are very, very weird.

The Gamekeeper makes a good example of an evil person who thinks they are good.  He's a monster, and wrongfully incarcerating SG-1, but he's not intending them harm as he understands it.  In his mind, what he’s doing is fairly victimless.

And Jack does a very good job cutting through the bullshit he's trying to spin.

That spinny SGC logo screensaver is much, much better graphics than I would expect from a government OS.

I love how they all start cottoning on the minute Hammond says he'd leave them in the clutches of an evil idiot for a week.

I really hate that squiggle logo.

I know they're not gonna do any severe damage to the Gamekeeper here, but what exactly were they planning to do to him when they caught him?

Poisoned their minds with freedom and truth!  This Gamekeeper idiot really is the worst.  That CS Lewis quote comes to mind.

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

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S02E03 - Prisoners

Sorry for being late, friends.  I’ve got a road trip tomorrow, so I’ve been kinda busy today.

This one I do remember.  Very depressing.

Did this go out around Halloween?  They for real just opened into a spiderweb in fog.

These judges aren't very…intelligent.

Heh.  Nobody messes with Teal'c.

“We just need the electrical kind.”  Heh.

Daniel is right to be cautious, but Sam makes a good point: the justice system here isn't exactly thoughtful and well-constructed.

Hammond thinking “Yes!  I finally get to go through the damn gate!”

Hammond is having way more fun than he pretends to be having.

Little diplomat dude realizing way too late that Hammond is not at all there to be polite.

Daniel very unready to be king of the mountain.

That escape went surprisingly smoothly, too.

How were they supposed to know?  It's not like the justice system there differentiates between mass murder and minor shoplifting!

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S02E02 - In The Line Of Duty

Not a lot of commentary on this one.  Apparently I just don’t have that many thoughts for this particular episode.

I do not remember this episode, and the thumbnail is not giving me a whole lot of clues.

Oh, the Jolinar one!  Okay.

Jolinar really playing it cool right there.

I love how dumbfounded everybody is about a goa'uld not acting megalomaniacal.

This is a weird way to start an interview.  What is the objective here?

Teal'c's internal freak out over the idea of meeting an actual tok'ra must be epic.

Why is Jack wearing a jumpsuit?

They write Sam off really fast there.

Teal'c giving Daniel an apology before shooting him is the funniest thing ever.

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S02E01 - The Serpent’s Lair

Ooh!  A “Previously!”

It's a bit rich to call Klorel a “mighty warrior.”  Dude's only been a grown-up for, like, a year.

Goa'uld flash-bang packs a punch.

Sam's first instinct is to bite the hell out of whoever bugs her.  I like her attitude, too.

Damn, Bra'tac reaching Arctic levels of cold there.

Hammond in battle dress.  Sweet.

Oh, so this is where Samuels and Maybourne start getting buddy-buddy. Interesting.

I'm very intrigued by all the Air Force brass here, and how they all showed up so quick.  I mean, the Academy is in Colorado Springs and all, but that's a lot of officers that just randomly turned up.

Ha, totally called that they don't actually care about each other.

The Alpha Site would be an interesting story to follow.

Klorel big mad.  Heh.

No, Bra'tac, the plan is to ask less.  The idea is for you not to die.

Jack now riffing on Patton.

Jack making a mental note of English idioms to teach Bra'tac.

I think Apophis' make-up has gotten more elaborate.  He has double-winged eyeliner now.

Brah-tak?  Weird.

Daniel's first automatic weapon!  He's so adorably…dead.  Honestly, dual-wielding.

Teal'c has clearly learned some English idioms.

They're sending Endeavour after ha'taks?  Oh, yeah, terrible plan.

Where's the other two dudes that were with Bra'tac?  Did they die and I missed it?

The sarcophagus healed Daniel's uniform.  Costume department fully phoning it in, there.

Ohmigosh, Daniel, take the gun!  He's such a disaster.

Gating off the ship to some other planet is a pretty clever escape route, I admit.

How do they get from the gliders to Endeavour?  That doesn't make sense.

“SG-1, you are all under arrest for flagrant violation of direct orders.”

Nice shot of the gate room at the end, tho.

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S01E22

I know this episode is a cliffhanger, but you needn't fret.  We're going straight to season 2 on Thursday.

Hammond was a month away from retirement before they pulled him up for this?  Damn, he really got in by the skin of his teeth.

The President cannot override the Senate on budgets! Congress sets the budget!  Does no one read the Constitution anymore?!?

Sam emotionally letting go of her future career in the Air Force.

Black uniforms mean It's Serious Business.

Hammond knows exactly what's happening.

He knows exactly what's happening.  He is absolutely, 100% not-fooled-at-all-for-a-second.

I genuinely expect to hear Replicator noises here.

That transport container wastes so much space.  You could fit a good hundred zats in there if you made better use of the space.

Oooh, a vocume.

Daniel's combat skills and usefulness really come up over the course of the series.  He's just…not very helpful here.

Harriman has epaulets in this uniform!

Why would he tell you when he can just do it and demonstrate the third zat shot?

The clompy-clompy sound effect is really over the top.

That is a strong contender in the wacky hat contest.  That's amazing.

Apophis and Klorel act like they've got some kind of a bond here, but…they're goa'uld's. They can't have any genuine affection for each other.  I mean, they can't even really like each other.

The ha'tak set is very…dressed and all, but I genuinely can't figure out how this was supposed to be a logical layout for a spaceship's bridge.

Jack is Teal'c's “recruiter?”  Wow.  That is a hell of a loaded word.

Meep! They're in the solar system!

Daniel! Point the gun barrel down until you're ready to fire it!

Wow, Harriman very sexy and in-charge right there.  Fully upstaging a general, and casual about it, too.

Daniel is double-weilding his pistols?  Oh my gosh.

Did Teal'c just run up on that guy while Sam was shooting at him?!? Oh my gosh!

Uh-oh.  Their time has run out of their hourglass.

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S01E21 - Politics

I hate the clip shows.

Jack really stumbling over the engagement thing.

Samuels getting a promotion so quick when Paul Davis gets stalled at Major for so long is one of the great injustices of the universe.

(I know Davis isn't in the show yet, but I also don't care.)

Politics really isn't your strong suit, Jack, if you think POTUS outranks senator.  They're totally separate branches of government and neither one answers to the other at all.

There's absolutely no reason for the SGC to be classified.  They're fighting genuinely evil people and doing legit scientific research. Along with actual humanitarian outreach.  Out of all the skeevy, underhanded, amoral, immoral, and downright stomach-turning things our government has gotten up to, the Stargate Program would rank nowhere.  It's a genuinely good program.  Any sensible administration would make this public, along with a long list of way's it's benefited the country and the world at the absolute first available opportunity.

I think this is the first time that Samuels starts being identifiably a bad guy for sure.  He was just a devil's advocate before. It's subtext, but it's there.

Daniel just quoting Independence Day plotlines here.

Okay, so this kinda proves my point about how it would be nice if they'd stayed consistent about “goa'uld” pronunciation and language.  When they did bother with it, you get some nice moments of twitting Senator Kinsey.

Oh!  Clip from the movie here.  …I still hate clip shows, though.

There's Teal'c's very manly buff in front of the gate pose.

See, this is the trouble with clip shows.  It's stuff I've seen before, so there's not really much to react to.

There really isn't anything to complain of in terms of competence here.

Look, I'm all about American Greatness, but when the actual military is telling you the enemy has more power than you do…

Daniel realizing that all politicians are fully morons is a nice moment.

Samuels is lucky Hammond didn't punch him in the face.

Team shot!

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S01E20 - There But For The Grace Of God

Lens flare!

Of course the place is alien, Daniel!  You're on another planet!

Okay, “Daniel, I don't wanna hear it.” is a dumb thing to say. “Daniel, this whole planet is a radioactive fallout zone.” would've been much better.

...Granted, it would've been a really different episode, if he had.

Okay, Harriman seems to announce a lot of information about incoming wormholes before the wormholes connect in a lot of episodes.  Big scale cheating.

The last two years? The timeline is weird.

Harriman isn't in the Air Force in this timeline.  Apparently he and Sam joining up are critical events to prevent the overthrow of Earth.

Daniel cottons on to that being a gate address really fast.

This is a really, really depressing episode.

…I'm not convinced the Jack O'Neill you know would do that, Daniel.  What'd he'd probably do is send you to the Alpha Site with the other evacuees, and then you could go wherever you wanted from there.

Hammond giving the “we're all gonna die” pep talk is heartbreaking.

Oh. Harriman is in the Air Force, and he's just…wearing a weird uniform, I guess.

Wow.  Jack is really squished.

The climax of this episode is really just everybody we love getting dead.  Like, it's just rude.

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Sorry to do this folks, but I’m still not 100%.  Tonight’s commentary is going to be tomorrow night’s commentary.  We’re coming up on the end of season 1, though, so that’s pretty fun.

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S01E19 - Solitudes

I'm gonna get it out of my system before I even start the episode.  “Stuck on a glacier with MacGyver!!!”

Daniel really hit the ramp very hard there.  Frasier's gonna have her work cut out with that concussion.

Oh.  Dr. Warner.  My bad.

Teal'c very pouty about not getting to go back through.

This episode makes an oblique point that doesn't get followed up on very much, which is the SGC's tendency to assume the entire ecosystem is the same biome as whatever area the gate is in.  And when they get to the reveal in this episode, that is proved wrong.  And then never mentioned again.

Siler refusing to pull a Scotty with his work guesstimates.

Teal'c waited for Daniel to wake up!  Aw!

Jack's very positive attitude is not very practical at this point. Sam's relentless pessimism isn't either.

See, Daniel's thinking practically, and he's got a busted head!

And Daniel is the one who comes up with the search pattern.  Not bad, Danny.

Why does Sam only try dialing Earth?  She never tries dialing another planet.

Turn it off and back on again is a good theory.

There's a little tau'ri symbol on the middle of the star map!  That's amazing.

See! This! Earth is not an “ice planet.”  But they just randomly assign the “ice planet” label when they don't know any better just because they gated into some ice.  Sloppy, bad assumption thinking, it's no wonder Sam didn't think to dial any other planets.

He did go all the way to Antarctica for you, though.  That's pretty good.

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S01E18 - Tin Man

This is a very weird warehouse to have the Stargate just…hanging out in the middle of a room.

Ah. It's a trap.  That makes more sense.

Oh, I remember this.

You're right to be suspicious, Jack.  This guy is nothing but trouble.

Jack bleeding white fluid is creepy, but him tearing open his arm is worse.

They're charging wirelessly.

Don't defend him, Sam.  It doesn't matter how scared or desperate someone is, nobody has the right to do this to anybody else against their will or without their knowledge.

Teal'c isn't feeling so good here.

None of them are feeling so good, apparently.

Don't feel bad for this guy.  He's done terrible things!  Stay strong, Sam.

Teal'c taking his doppleganger's disintegration very well there.

No, Jack.  This isn't a just trying to survive thing!

Yeah, I didn't love this episode.

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S01E17 - Enigma

Sorry to be late everyone.  My head was really hurting.

Could they genuinely not turn the camera on when they redialed the gate to actually go to the planet?

So dial the SGC and ask for as many young, strapping airmen as they can get to come through and fireman carry people back to Earth!  Come on, y'all, this ain't one of the rocket science questions here.

Looks like that's what they did.  How long did it take them to make that call?

This thing about the Dark Ages is just…wrong.  Like, it's totally wrong.

I'd forgotten how irritating Orlan or whatever his name is has been.

Omac.  Yeah.  I get his perspective, but damn he needs a punch in the face.

“You were a lot dirtier then” is a pretty hilarious opening line.  No wonder he falls for Sam.

The Tollan really hit the Space Clothes trope really hard.  Those pants either have no pockets, or the pockets go backwards.  Amazing.

Ah. No pockets it is, then.  The spaciest of space clothes.

Jack is very dressed up all of sudden.  Everybody in their class As.

Oh, they're having a fancy meeting.  I see.

Harry Maybourne!  Hooray!  The guy I really do love to hate.  All the episodes he's in are so fun.

Lessie, the POTUS Daniel is currently lamenting the morality of is…Bill Clinton.  Color me entirely unshocked.

I have no idea what this thing with the branch is meant to explain. None whatsoever.

“The mainframe's having a nervous breakdown!”  Harriman carrying on the true “never give the captain a straight answer” tradition of sci-fi.

Lya's opening the gate like that will never not be amazingly cool.  It's such a power move.

The very young do not always do as they're told, but sometimes that's a good thing.

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Today's commentary is coming out late. I'm feeling a bit under the weather. But I'll have it up sometime this evening.

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S01E16 - Singularity

Is this the one? Oh, no, not the black hole episode.

LOL, Daniel so in awe of Jack having a brain.  Of course he has a brain.  He figured out the whole rapid aging thing on his own, didn't he?

Why is Teal'c not wearing a rad hat?  You can sell me on his goa'uld protecting him from a lot of things, but not from radiation.

I think I remember how this episode ends, but I'm not entirely sure.

Janet off-world for the first time!  Whoo-hoo!

Teal'c manages the friendly bit before he comes around the tree.  He was just screwing with Jack, there, wasn't he?

Ah. Cassandra.  I do remember how this episode ends.

Don't worry, Sam, we did photograph a black hole.  It was even a girl that did a lot of the work on it.

Well, what did you think she would paint after all that craziness?

I'm sorry, I can't commentate on this episode very much, I'm too busy watching it.  But anyway, Cassandra has a weird thing in her chest.

The weird thing is a nuke.  Oops.

He can pick out which ha'tak is whose from looking at the underside?  How?  They all look identical.

“Actually the decision is quite easy.  It's the consequences that are difficult.”  Well put.

Why did Teal'c call Nirrti a “he?”  Surely he would know better.

Hammond gets really snippy when he has to make decisions he doesn't like.

Jack has no authority on this team.  Nobody follows orders.  They let him be in charge on paper as a courtesy.

Sam didn't know.  She thought she was gonna die and she gambled.

If the dog is going on a walk, maybe you should let the dog actually walk?  I realize that's boring and obvious, but that's pretty much how that works.  Just saying.

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S01E15 - Cor-Ai

I don't remember this episode very well.

Okay, so right off the bat, they establish that the planet they're on is likely to be hostile to visitors and that wherever everyone is, they can't have gone very far, and their reaction is to start poking around?

Teal'c about to be renovated as a gazebo for the second week in a row.

Oooooh, the “Teal'c on trial” episode!  I remember this now.

“Maybe they're coming from a swap meet.”  Agreed.

“'Circ.'  That's a Latin derivation.  Circle.  But 'kakona,' that's Greek.  That's weird.  Two root languages in one culture?”  Daniel.  You speak English.  How weird can that really be?

“Circle of Woes” is a really metal name for the gate, though.

If they're gonna be co-counsels, they should really be getting the story out of Teal'c now to prepare his defense.  Waiting until they can spring it on themselves at the trial is a very poor strategy.  And at least one of them should be getting a story on exactly what the rules of the cor-ai are.

See! This is why they should've asked what the rules were.

Teal'c is very smart to reject the “just following orders” defense that Jack offers there.

And I like that Jack and Teal'c have a very real culture clash here.

Or you could offer an affirmative defense.  Yes, I did this thing but I have good reasons.

And here we have exactly what I said.  Affirmative defense.  I did this thing, but I had a good reason.

I also like the rejection of moral relativism in the cor-ai.  Good versus evil is not a teeter-totter where if you outweigh one side, the other one doesn't count.  It's a diet.  You can trend in one direction or the other, but it all counts, all the time.

“Colonel the United States is not in the business of interfering in other people's affairs.”  Pfft.  Hammond, I love you, but this is false.

“We can't commit troops to risk their lives in an action I believe is morally ambiguous.”  Man, if only this were the actual military. It'd be nice to live in this world.

Good shooting, Jack.

The boot-stompy sound effect is a little too obviously not actually from their feet.

This does manage to be an ending that isn't a cop-out, too, which is tricky to write for an episode like this.

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S01E14 - Hathor

I am loving that these kids give Daniel his props before Hathor ruins their life, but I am also hung up on how egotistical the goa'uld are to need a personally labeled sarcophagus. The absolute self-centeredness is astounding.

Her nails are really well did for somebody who's been snoozing for a few millennia.

So Daniel is the first one to fall under Hathor's brain whammy.  Bad luck there.

“Ms. Hathor.”  Hammond is so polite.

“Bless me with fertility and joy nothing,” Hammond is thinking.  “I've got grandchildren. How's that for fertility and joy.”

Daniel trying to figure out how to gently break the news that a one of the goa'uld's rivals has been bumped off.  Of course she doesn't care.

Although… Kind of distressing how young-looking Ra is from the film compared to Hathor's host being obviously and entirely adult.

Mind whammied Daniel being 100% chill about the system lord running around the base is hilarious.

Sam and Jack are so shocked they flat-out forget the whole “commanding officer” thing for a second there.

“Yes, sir, I guess I am.”  Sam really taking a stand there.  Good job.

Hathor's dress is made out of a bed comforter.  There's no movement in that fabric at all.

Sam does Hathor research on the intertubes?  Yeah, she really is starting from scratch.

Did Daniel seriously just ask for a run-down on goa'uld sex?

“We must first have the code of life from the juices of the species intended as the host.”  Wow, Hathor, so romantic.

Okay, so this is the second instance of a member of SG-1 getting date raped.  And Teal'c was really rough on Drey'auc a few episodes ago. All of this stuff is a little bit subtextual, or you get discretion cuts, but even so.  Somebody in the writers' room shoulda applied some brakes somewhere.

Teal'c about to get renovated as a gazebo there.

I like the idea of this episode more than the execution.  Too many people being too careless where they point the barrels of those guns.

“Why do I get the feeling I don't like where this is going?”  Not sure I do either.  Hmm, let me see…  Oh, of course, the entire writing team for this episode was men.  Quelle surprise.

Sam clubbing Hammond is pretty great, though.

For someone trying to be sneaky, Sam is talking really loudly.

“What, I left?”  A little bit, yeah.

Yeah, maybe you should button your shirt before going into battle, Jack?

Ah, you can see Hathor's escape from the flamey death.  It's subtle, but it's there.

The beginning of a beautiful friendship.  …I refer of course, to Sam and Janet.

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S01E13 - The Nox

Secretary of what?  The Air Force?  Defense?  Interior?

Teal'c's interruption here is both well-timed and quite intriguing.

How many guns are they carrying?

Oh man, the gate disappearing, I'd forgotten about that.

Apophis' eyeliner game still perf.

Teal'c's replacement as First Prime is not as good as he is.

This is not a good ending for this plan.

I know Armin Shimerman is a staple sci-fi actor.  And he's got a long career of excellent work.  But my first instinct every time I see him is to think, "Principal Snyder?"

The Nox learn the language quickly, but I like that there is a pretty strong element of talking-past-each-other that happens for a while.

No, Daniel, killing the injured, defenseless, unarmed dude was never an option.

Jack very distressed by Anteaus' habit of randomly popping up out of nowhere.

"The very young do not always do what they are told."  Jack and Daniel kind of admitting they really blew this one with that look there.

Sam really almost believed that?  I sure didn't.